Outview (38 page)

We were driving again. How was I going to
bring up Kyle’s concerns after that? Was there any way that this bubbly and
beautiful girl next to me could be aiding the enemy? Not knowingly. Maybe Fitts
got her prepaid cell phone bugged or her whole house wired, maybe even this
car.

“So why are we going to Tanya’s?” she
asked.

I hesitated. “Rose is dead. Fitts killed
her the night she disappeared.”

“My God! I’m so sorry. Tanya doesn’t know
yet? They were close, right?”

“Very.”

“I wish I’d met Rose.”

“You two would have been best friends.”

I changed the subject and told her of the
three betrayals of Amparo. She listened so intently that by the time I told her
about Rachel and Erich in the concentration camp she had to pull over.

“That’s the most tragic story I’ve ever
heard.”

“Amparo opened a connection between the
current me and the me from those past lives as if it’s all been one long life.
And I suppose, for my soul, it has been. I can remember being at Dachau just
the same as I remember being at Crater Lake. It’s that fresh; it’s all part of
me.”

“That’s why you look so different.”

“That and getting shot.”

“When?” Her face lost color.

“Fitts. While I was trying to escape after
getting Dustin.”

“Where? Show me.”

I lifted my shirt, and she touched both
wounds, so soft and tenderly that it made me shiver. She stared long into my
eyes like she was looking for Erich or maybe the lifetime when we were sisters.
I thought she was going to kiss me again, but the moment was so intense I wouldn’t
trade it. Two of her fingers traced my cheekbone to my chin before she turned
away.

“We’ve gotta keep you alive,” she said,
pulling back onto the interstate.

55

The last time at Tanya’s I was fleeing from
Fitts.

“Hey, what are you guys doing here?” Tanya
said, standing at the doorway.

“Can we come in?”

“Sure.”

“How’s the leg?” Amber asked.

“It’ll heal.”

“Tanya, you should sit down.”

“No, I’m good.”

“I’ve got some bad news . . . I’m sorry . .
. Rose is dead.”

“What do you mean?”

“Fitts killed her.”

“I don’t think so.”

“I know it’s hard but--”

“I talked to Agent Fitts this morning.”

“You what?” I frantically looked around.
Was he in the next room?

“He came to visit me in the hospital and
explained everything.”

“Jesus!” Amber said.

“How could he justify trying to kill my
entire family?”

“He’s a
federal
agent! This isn’t a
Bourne movie. He told me he released Dustin--”

“Released? That’s a lie. I rescued him.
Fitts shot me. You can’t believe this guy, Tanya. He took Rose.”

“He arrested Rose because she was aiding a
known terrorist.”

“What terrorist?”

“You.”

“
Me
?”

“That’s right. They’re trying to apprehend
you, and he told me this morning that you’ve assaulted six federal agents in
the past few days.”

“This morning? Tanya. You weren’t in the
hospital this morning.”

“He checks in with me. I have his cell
phone number. He said to call if I heard from you.”

“I can’t believe this.”

“Nate’s not a terrorist,” Amber said.

“Then why are they trying to arrest him?”

“Because they’re corrupt.”

“You’re his girlfriend, and you have to
believe him. I don’t. If Nate’s worried about corruption in the CIA, then turn
yourself in to my friend--he’s a cop--or the FBI, the state police, the Coast
Guard, mall security. Or are they all in on the conspiracy?” She glared at me.

“Tanya?”

“Come on, Nate. You’re not safe here,”
Amber said.

“
Is
Amber right, Tanya? Is Fitts
listening to us now? Is he on his way?”

“He’s waiting for my call.”

“Tanya, Rose is dead. Fitts killed her.”

“That’s not true. Have you seen her body?”

“No, but--.”

“Then how do you know?” she demanded.

“How did I know about your childhood, the
beatings, about your mother’s suicide?”

“What?” she stared, disbelieving. “My
mother didn’t kill herself!”

“I didn’t mean to say that, Tanya. It
slipped. I’m sorry you never knew.”

“It wasn’t suicide.” Her voice cracked. She
shook her head. “Get out of here, Nate. You don’t know what you’re talking
about. My mother’s alive. I mean, Rose is alive, and I don’t want you here.
You’re going to get everyone killed. Turn yourself in.”

“Come on, Nate!” Amber grabbed my arm.

Tanya held up her cell phone. “I’m calling
Agent Fitts right now. You’ll see this is all in your imagination. You’re
better off in custody. Rose can come home.”

“Tanya!”

She was dialing.

Amber was pulling me to the door.

I followed. “How did he convince her I’m
the bad guy?” I asked, once we were outside.

“Get in. Let’s go,” Amber said.

56

Amber peeled away and hit the highway doing
seventy. “How did you find out about Rose anyway?” she asked.

“Rose came to Linh in a dream.”

“So she really could be alive?”

“If she was alive I would have seen her on
the astral.”

“Are you sure?”

“I don’t know. It’s not easy being sure of
anything anymore.”

“Let’s go to Rose’s house,” Amber
suggested.

“Not a good idea.”

“You don’t want to?”

“Yeah, let’s go.” If Amber’s car was bugged,
I thought, they would have been waiting for us at Tanya’s, especially because
she’s cooperating with Fitts. “But let’s make it quick.”

“Maybe we can find something at Rose’s
that’ll help us know for sure if she’s alive or not,” Amber said.

“Is it true about Tanya’s mom?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

“How did you know?”

“I read her. It’s a power Spencer showed
me. If while I embrace someone I consciously search and connect with them, I
can see their entire life.”

“That’s wild! I’ll be careful next time we
hug,” she said with a laugh.

Being back at Rose’s house was distressing,
and in the reading room, I was certain she was dead. There was a deep emptiness,
as if a vacuum had sucked every trace of her energy out of the place. I pulled
down a colorful scarf for Linh and picked up a pretty stone for me. In another
room, Amber was admiring Rose’s collection of books on tarot, astrology,
numerology, colors, dreams, reincarnation, the mind--every new age topic. “Look
at this,” she said, handing me a leather-bound volume.

“It’s Rose’s handwriting. It looks like her
journal.”

“You should take it, Nate.”

“It doesn’t seem right to take something so
personal.”

“Don’t leave it for Lightyear.” I took it.

I closed up the house and fought my anger,
sure I’d never see Rose alive again. We found an empty pull-off overlooking the
Rogue River. Amber took sandwiches out of a bag and handed me a soda as we sat
at a picnic table.

“Kyle thinks someone close to me is getting
information to Lightyear.”

“Yeah, Tanya.”

“No, that’s only been for a few days, since
the hospital. From the beginning, someone has helped Fitts find me.”

“Who? How many people have known where you
were?”

“Kyle thinks you’re the only one.”

“Are you serious?”

“I don’t think so, and Linh doesn’t either--”

“You all have actually had a conversation about
me helping Fitts find you? I don’t believe this . . . Why would--”

“Amber, sit down. I’ve never once
considered the possibility that it could be you. Neither has Linh.”

“But your best friend thinks I’m trying to
get you killed. Nate, I love you. Do you get that? You’ve completely taken over
my life.” She wiped tears. “Read me, Nate. You can see everything, all my
secrets, all my fears. I want you to know me completely. You’ll see nothing but
love for you, you jerk.” Her arms held wide, waiting for me.

“No.”

“Read me, damn it!” she yelled.

“I’d rather get to know you little by
little.”

“Why?”

“Because it feels more real. I want to know
you as a person, like our souls already do.”

“I don’t want you to have any doubts.”

“I never have.”

We stared at each other.

“You’re still a jerk.”

“Why?”

“For not telling Kyle he doesn’t know what the
hell he’s talking about,” she cried.

“I did. Both Linh and I told him he was
wrong. He’s just trying to protect me. When Lightyear first came after us at
your house, then at Tanya’s and your beach house, you were the only one who
knew where I was. You also knew my mom and I were going to pick up Dustin at
Mountain View, that Aunt Rose was helping me, and that my mom was coming to see
us at Tanya’s.”

“Wait a minute. Kyle, Linh, and your mother
knew all those things, too.”

“Actually, my mom didn’t know I was with
you that night or at your beach house.”

“But both those times you didn’t ever see
anyone stalking you. It was just your heat sensor thing.”

“They were there.”

“Okay, I’m just saying.”

“I was thinking maybe they got to your
phone or bugged your house.”

“I bought that phone randomly when I got
the others. I don’t think it’s been out of my sight since. In fact, most nights
I fall asleep with it talking to my sister.”

“You talk to Bridgette
every
day? I
didn’t know you two were
that
close.”

“We’re very close. And she’s helped me keep
all this in perspective-”

“You’ve been telling her about what’s been
going on?”

“Yeah, she’s my sister. Bridge isn’t
telling anyone. She’s buried at that art college. My sister isn’t repeating our
conversations.”

“What if Fitts tapped her phone?” I asked.

“What if he tapped the phones of everyone
we know? That’s a lot of phones.”

“It’s the United States government; it can
do anything. Call Bridgette, and say we rescued Dustin.”

“She thinks he’s nuts. What’s that going to
prove?”

“You tell her I’m going to stay at your
parents’ beach house for a few days to mend. Tell her I got shot trying to get
away. I’ll go on the astral and watch the call and what she does afterward. If
I can’t hide, I’ll be dead soon. They have a way to find out where I am, and
it’s only a matter of time before they corner me. I need to know how they’re doing
it.”

I sat in the grass close to the river so I
wouldn’t hear Amber. A minute later I saw Bridgette inside an old building in downtown
San Francisco. Amber’s number displayed on her phone, and she stepped out of a
lecture to take the call. It only lasted about four minutes. Amber asked her if
she thought either of their parents would be going to the beach house for the
next few days. It was a good reason to call her in the middle of the day. After
they hung up, instead of returning to class, Bridgette left the building.

I watched her walk down the street until
she found a quiet doorway. She pushed a number on her cell phone and was
connected to a desk in Langley, Virginia--CIA headquarters. The woman on the
other end of the line asked her a few questions and said they would contact her
if the field agent needed any further clarification. Amber’s sister closed her
phone and walked back to class. I had not expected this. Watching her on the
astral was a long shot. I’d thought maybe it would clear her sister, but this
was brutal. I wondered if one of Amparo’s current incarnations was Bridgette
Mayes. How was I going to tell Amber? When I opened my eyes, she was next to
me.

“Well?”

“It’s her. As soon as your call ended, she
phoned the CIA and reported your whole conversation.”

“She wouldn’t even know how to call the CIA.
I got my dad’s brains. Bridge got Mom’s.”

“There’s a CIA number programmed on her
cell, and she acted like this was part of her daily routine.”

“Why?”

“Money?”

“Please. Our parents compete to see which
of them can give us the biggest allowance.”