Outside Beauty (20 page)

“What do you mean?”

“Are you glad you came?”

“Uh-huh,” she said. “It's fun to run away. It's like going camping.”

She fell asleep again. I closed my eyes and could see parts of the movie as clearly as if I were watching it. Then I felt scared again.

The next morning I was the last one up. My sisters
were dressed and walking through the house making a list of what we needed to do or buy:

1. Fix window

2. Can opener

3. Ak-Mak

4. Popcorn

5. Peach yogurt

6. Another big knife (for Marilyn)

7. Shampoo

“Can you think of anything else, Shelby?” Marilyn asked.

“I was thinking we need a cat,” I said.

“A cat?” my sisters said in unison.

“We need a pet.”

“For what? Then we'll have to pay for cat food,” Marilyn said.

The phone started ringing again, and we all stayed still and quiet. When it stopped ringing, we relaxed again.

“Do we need dishwashing soap? Regular soap? And detergent?” I said.

“Okay, bath soap. There's enough dishwashing liquid and detergent to last until the end of time,” Marilyn said. “Anything else?”

“I don't think so,” I said. “Except a cat.”

“No pet,” Marilyn said. “Maybe later we can get one.”

So we all piled into the car and drove around until we found a grocery store. This time we weren't scared at all. In fact, we walked into the store as confident as we'd been since before our mother had her accident.

When we got back to the cabin, we unpacked our bags. I noticed Maddie had packed a thick book.

“What did you bring that for?” I asked.

“Mr. Bronson got it for me. It's about manners for young ladies. He said I had to memorize it.”

I randomly opened up the book. A young lady never laughs in a loud manner. It is more appropriate to laugh in a lighthearted but quiet manner. It's vulgar to show your teeth while laughing. “I didn't know laughing was so complicated! I don't think you need manners like that when you run away,” I said.

“Blech,” Marilyn said. “He got you that book?”

“You don't think I might need it?”

“No,” I said. “I think we should destroy it.”

“Me too,” Marilyn said.

“Me too,” Lakey said.

“Let's burn it!” I said.

So we found some matches and took the book outside. We put a lot of sticks inside and on top
of the book, and then Marilyn lit a match. It took nearly the whole box of matches to get a good fire going. We weren't really nature girls. If we were, we probably would have burned it faster. Finally, flames shot up out of the book and we watched the burning paper shrivel up. The cover was a bit harder to burn. We found some newspaper inside to keep the fire hot so that we could destroy the cover. The heat felt good against my face.

“Let's hold hands and twirl,” Lakey said.

“Around the fire!” Maddie said.

“But we could burn ourselves,” I said.

We all looked at Marilyn. “Okay, we'll twirl around the fire, but be careful.”

We twirled as fast as we could around the fire. The wind blew, spreading ash and embers everywhere, and we had to stomp on some leaves and embers. For a second there we were losing the battle, and I worried we were going to start a forest fire. But after a while there were no more embers, and the book was gone.

I pounded my chest. “For we are the all-powerful daughters of Helen Kimura!”

Maddie pounded her chest and said, “For we are powerful girls!”

We went inside to eat and to plan our new life.

“I guess I should get a job,” Marilyn said between bites of cracker. “But there's no hurry. Since we don't pay rent, we won't be spending a lot of money.”

“Maybe we should make a budget,” I said.

Marilyn said, “If we spend ten dollars or so a day on food, that's . . . uh . . . uh . . .”

“Maybe two hundred days,” Lakey said.

We were still eating and planning when someone knocked on the door. We didn't move until we heard “This is Deputy Jensen. Come on, girls. Your fathers are looking for you.” We looked at one another. A man peeked through the broken window. “Girls? I can see you. Don't make me climb through this window. Your fathers are on their way here. They called the station. They're coming to get you, and you can make it a lot easier on yourselves if you come to the station with me and wait for them.”

We looked to Marilyn for an answer. But what could she do? She said softly to us, “I guess we're caught.”

Deputy Jensen had brought another deputy, a surly man with a huge paunch. We packed up our stuff while the paunchy guy got the keys from Marilyn and drove Tony's car away. In the squad car, the four of us crammed into the backseat. Deputy Jensen helped each of us in, as if we were honored guests. As we
pulled away from the house, Maddie whispered in my ear. “My father is going to kill me.”

“So is mine,” I answered.

“No,” she whispered. “I mean, is my father really going to kill me?”

“Of course not.” But I knew Mr. Bronson would be really hard on Maddie, and I didn't think I could stop that.

“What are you talking about back there, girls?” Jensen eyed us through the rearview mirror. Nobody answered him, so he eyed me. “Which one are you?”

“Shelby.”

“Well, Shelby, what are you talking about back there?”

“Ah . . . using the bathroom?”

“Are you asking me or telling me?”

“Asking. I mean, telling.” Before Deputy Jensen could say anything else, the radio squawked, “We have a 371 in progress at Al's Liquor. Are you available, Carl?”

“I'll swing by there, but please send backup. I'm carrying a load vis-à-vis the 424.”

“Affirmative. Uh, can you pick up something for lunch?”

“Sure. See ya.”

He started his siren and we were racing down the street. “Put your seat belts on, girls.”

At Al's Liquor, he ran inside with his gun drawn. In a few minutes he came out with a middle-aged woman in handcuffs. He looked at us. He looked at her. “Well, this is a little unorthodox,” he said, then he sat her in front while we stayed squished together in back. The woman turned to look at us and then leaned forward and ripped off a piece of upholstery with her teeth!

“You need to settle,” Jensen told her calmly.

We all glared at one another. I don't know what my sisters were thinking, but I was worried that we were going to be put in a cell with the woman. Finally I couldn't stand not knowing for sure.

“Are you going to put us in jail?” I asked.

“Not unless you want me to.” What kind of answer was that? At a stop sign, he turned back to look at me. “I ought to, but your fathers might not appreciate that.”

“They're going to be mad at
us
,” I said.

“Yeah, and you know what? You deserve that. See, if I put you in jail, they'll be mad at me, but if I don't put you in jail, they'll be mad at you. Got that?” The car behind us honked. “Who honks at a deputy?” he said.

When we got to the station, Deputy Jensen told us that our fathers would be a few hours and we had
no choice but to wait. Then he said, “I need to book her.” He gestured toward the woman.

This running away business was exhausting. “I feel all spent,” I said. I'd never used the word “spent” like that before, but our mother said that sometimes, putting a hand to her forehead dramatically. She might not have been teaching us the things Mr. Bronson wanted, but she was surely teaching us a lot.

Marilyn put her hand to her forehead and said, “Me too.”

We sat on a bench watching another deputy cut pieces of paper in half for some reason. It probably wasn't what he'd envisioned when he'd joined the force. Deputy Jensen had gone somewhere. We could have made a break for it, but there was nowhere to go. The car keys were in a drawer—we'd seen Jensen put them there. The station was quiet and empty. Maybe the other deputies were out on patrol. Or maybe there wasn't much crime here so there weren't many deputies. The man who was cutting looked at us. “First time?” he said.

“Yes,” Marilyn said. “We've never been arrested.”

He nodded and then went back to his cutting.

I turned to Maddie. “How are you doing?”

“I have to use the bathroom,” she said.

Marilyn asked loudly, “Excuse me, can my sister use the bathroom?”

“Sure thing,” he said. “It's down that hall there to the right.”

Maddie grabbed my hand. “Come with me!” she said. “I like you.”

“Maddie!” I said, hugging her. “I like you too.” She smiled, just a little peekaboo of a smile.

We went to the bathroom together, walking down a corridor past some high windows. I stood on tiptoe to look into one of the windows. A couple of glum-looking men looked back. I guess they were under arrest. I was glad they hadn't put us in a jail cell.

“Hold my hand,” I said.

“What was in there?”

“Some people under arrest.”

“I want to see!” Now, that was my Maddie talking!

I lifted her up and she said, “Wooow.”

I took her hand and we went to the restroom. On the way back she wanted to see the prisoners again, so I lifted her up. “Wooow,” she said again.

Back at the bench Marilyn said softly, “My father is going to kill me. First he's going to yell at me, and then he's going to kill me.”

Maddie looked concerned. “Really—he'll kill you?” she said.

“Well, he'll ground me until the end of time, and that will kill me.”

“I don't know what Jiro will do. Once he got mad at me for trying to run away.”

“I don't know what my father will do either,” Lakey said. “Probably ground me, but not until the end of time. Maybe a month.”

Maddie didn't say anything, but I could almost see her returning to her Mr. Bronson personality. She literally deflated, slouching in the seat, hanging her head. “You'll be okay,” I said, taking her hands. “You're going to come live with us.” Marilyn gave me a look that said,
Shut up, Shelby.
But I couldn't. “Maddie's going to live with Jiro and me now. If she doesn't, I'm not going home with him. I'll . . . I'll . . . I'll kick somebody.”

“Is that all we have to do?” Maddie said. “Kick somebody? Should I kick somebody too?”

“If you want,” I said.

Jensen walked into the room. He nodded at us. “Just checking. Is Deputy Wilson keeping you in line?”

“Yeah,” Wilson said. “It's their first time.” He said that as if there would be more times.

Jensen sauntered out of the room again. The hours of just sitting there started to get to me, and I felt so tired, I could no longer keep my eyes open. It was dark by now. Maddie laid her head in my lap, and we both dozed off. Even though the seat was uncomfortable, with Maddie lying in my lap, it was easy to fall asleep.

I woke up to Marilyn shaking me. “What?” I said.

“He's gone.”

“Who's gone?”

“The guy with the scissors.”

“Deputy Wilson?”

“Uh-huh. Let's get out of here.” Marilyn dangled the car keys in front of me. She must have taken them from the drawer!

“Where would we go?” I studied my beautiful sister's excited face.

“We can go anywhere. How about California? We loved it there. We'll get an apartment and I'll find a job.”

It was tempting. But . . .

“What's wrong?” Marilyn asked.

I wasn't sure. But somehow running away again didn't make sense to me. Somehow it seemed like time to face our punishment. “I don't think we should run
away again,” I said. My mouth said that before my brain could catch up.

“But why not?” Marilyn said, sounding genuinely confused.

“I guess, I don't know, but I guess because Mom's always running away every time a man annoys her.”

“So?”

“So we have to be different from her.”

“Why would we want to be different from her?”

“Because. Because she's lonely. You said so.” I stroked Maddie's wild hair. She was snoring. She sounded like a lawn mower. “And because we won't be able to take care of Maddie. Apartments in California are probably expensive.”

“Then you could get a job too.”

“I'm not even fourteen yet,” I said. “Marilyn, we need to talk to all of the fathers together and work something out. I'll talk to them if you don't want to.”

Lakey had been listening. She looked up at Marilyn. Marilyn was pursing her lips. But she didn't say more, just sat down and turned away from me. It took me a long time to fall asleep this time. I worried about what I would say to the fathers. I wanted to explain to them why we ran away. Maybe if I explained it right,
they would let Maddie stay with me and Jiro. I remembered all of the times my mother ran away. From men like Pierre and men like Mr. Bronson. And others: Johnny, Maxwell, Franklin, and Andrew. Those were all I could think of off the top of my head. And every single time, when she returned, she had to face these men. I loved my mother, adored her. But after a lifetime of wanting to be like her, I realized I didn't want to be her, exactly. I didn't want to run away.

At some point I must have fallen asleep again because I woke to Larry saying, “Girls.” Behind him stood the other fathers. They all looked as stern as Mr. Bronson. We jumped up. I felt scared and defiant at the same time.

Larry shook his head at us. “All right, Lakey, you and I will ride with Mack and Marilyn, and Shelby and Maddie will go with their fathers.”

The fathers shook hands with Deputy Jensen and thanked him as Marilyn gently awakened Maddie. I approached the deputy. “I guess I'm sorry. I mean, I
am
sorry we bothered you.”