Outlaw: Screaming Eagles MC (12 page)

Chapter Twenty-Three

Grace shook her head and sighed as she ran the bathroom tap. Once the water was warm she ran a washcloth and rinsed it out. Falcon was obsessed with the movements of her long fingers. He watched as she ran her hands under the warm water and the droplets left trails along her skin; he wanted to follow those trails with his tongue. But she had said no and so no it had to be.

She tilted his chin up and gently wiped the warm, wet rag along his skin. The cloth came away faintly stained with blood. She continued to clean him, her fingers moving from his chin to his arm as she finished cleaning his face and then moved on to his arms. Falcon closed his eyes and let himself relax. He had never been touched like this. He had never been cared for. Her hands were gentle and delicate and her movements were slow and patient.

She turned his chin this way and that as she blotted his cuts with alcohol and when Falcon winced she blew cool air over the cuts to soothe the pain. She cared for every inch of him. When she was done, Falcon opened his eyes and looked up at her. In that moment he realized how hard he had fallen for her. She caressed his cheek before carefully putting all of the first aid supplies away and washing her hands.

“Drink?” Falcon asked as he stood. He took a deep breath; it was a struggle to keep his eyes open. He felt pleasantly exhausted; it was normally a sensation reserved for post-sex bliss, but here it was. Just being around Grace made him feel better. He wanted to touch her, even something as chaste as a hug or a kiss on the cheek would have been enough. He wanted her more than he wanted anything else.

“Sure,” Grace said. “Do you have any whiskey?”

“Do I have whiskey?” he demanded as he walked to the kitchen. “If there’s no whiskey in this house it means I don’t live here anymore.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw her smile and his heart swelled. For the moment an image of her smile was the only thing he needed. He loved it when she smiled or laughed, he loved being the person who got that reaction from her.

He poured two generous glasses of whiskey and pushed one towards Grace who took a delicate and lady-like sip. It took all of his energy to not stare at her. He could have watched her all day, adjusting her skirt, or glancing at her reflection in the mirror; these little moments made her seem that much more real to him. She was a real person with a real job and dreams and ambitions; she existed outside of Falcon. Every girl he had ever been with, other than his ex, was shallow and solely focused on drugs. They had no life beyond the club and their next score. The only friends they had were fellow junkies and their families had written them off years ago. But not Grace, she was almost larger than life.

She was the one woman who could finally tame Falcon. If he could be with Grace, he would never want to be with another woman again. He would spend his life figuring her out, listening to her as she unwound the story of her life. It would be enough to just be with her; it would make him happy in a way nothing else had. He would wait for Grace, forever if that was what it took. There was no one else like her and she was worth it.

“So, tell me about this big score coming up. Who’s in charge?” Grace said as she sat down at the scratched-up kitchen table across from Falcon.

“I am,” Falcon responded.

“What?”

“I told you I had big news. You were the one who took forever to call me back.”

“What’s the deal? What’s happening?” Grace demanded, ignoring Falcon’s accusation.

“The boss has set up a backup warehouse outside of Echo Park. I need to get the truck to the docks without any issues. I can use all the resources I want.”

“What are you moving?” Grace asked, taking a long sip of her drink.

“The same stuff as always: MDMA, meth, and pseudoephedrine, plus some lab grade equipment. But it’s a lot. The boss wants to clear the warehouse and I know he needs the cash.”

“How much?” she asked breathlessly.

“About four million dollars worth.”

“Holy shit,” Grace said sitting back in her chair as her eyes went wide.

“And I’m giving it all to you,” Falcon said. He looked into her eyes and he held them there. He wanted her to know how much of this was for her and her alone. He was giving this bust to her; it was for her. “But there is potential bad news.”

“You think they suspect something?” Grace asked, breaking their eye contact and looking down into her almost empty drink.

Falcon stood up and grabbed the bottle of whiskey, pouring them two more drinks before sitting down again.

“Things were weird after the fight. Normally when I win the guys are all over me, congratulating me and thanking me for winning their bets for them. But today, it was like a was tainted or something. No one would talk to me.”

“It doesn’t mean they suspect anything,” Grace said, shaking her head and sending her curls cascading over her shoulders. “They might just be jealous of your success, or maybe they had bet on someone else this week. Don’t start looking for problems, Falcon. You need to act like you’re on the level, and hunting around and trying to figure out if people know your secret is the worst way to keep that secret.”

“Yeah,” Falcon said with a nod, but he wasn’t quite convinced. What she said made sense, but Falcon wasn’t sure if he could do it.

“You don’t need to worry, Falcon,” Grace said, and she reached across the table and took his hand in her own. She squeezed his finger and when she went to pull away, he held on tightly.

“What if it’s a setup?”

“My team will protect you. I promise. Anything happens or anything goes wrong we will come in and we will get you. I promise you, Falcon. We’re going to make this bust and get you out of there.”

He liked the feeling of her hand around his. He didn’t realize how much he had missed her touch until her skin was on his. He couldn't help himself; he ran his thumb over her knuckles, feeling her soft skin under his rough touch. She didn’t pull away. She stayed where she was and they both watched the movement of his finger as if they were hypnotized.

Finally, she pulled her hand away and Falcon let her go. But he missed her touch the second it was gone. He wanted her to be in his arms, he wanted to run his hands through her hair, and hear her moan from his touch.

“It’s funny,” he said. “This was what I wanted for the longest time. I used to rant and rave about how unfair it was that the boss never noticed me or the work I did. Now that I have it, I don’t really care, or want it.”

“You might not want it, but I sure as hell do,” Grace said giving him a smile. “This is a huge deal for me, Falcon, and you, too. This could be enough to get you out. And then once you're out and safe we could do some real damage against the gang. We could bring them all down.”

“Wait,” Falcon said. “What do you mean once I’m out and safe. I thought we were bringing down the Screaming Eagles together?”

“We are,” Grace said. “But there’s no way you can go back to the gang after we bust this shipment. That’s three times you’ve been associated with a deal that went sideways. They won’t be able to overlook it again. It will be too dangerous for you go back.”

“So, what then? I help bring in other gang members, work with you? What?”

She looked down at the table as she weighed her words, finally after a long silence she looked up at him and said, “after this, we’ll need to move you into witness protection.”

“What about Sophie?” Falcon asked. He felt sick and lightheaded and he knew the answer to the question before Grace even opened her mouth to speak.

“We think it would be better if Sophie stayed with her mother. We would fake your death, so the Screaming Eagles would have no cause to go after them.”

“You’re asking me to leave my daughter behind?” Falcon demanded, ripping his hand away from Grace’s. What she was saying was impossible. He couldn’t do it. He wouldn’t.

Chapter Twenty-Four

“Falcon, just listen to me,” Grace said, reaching to grab his hand but he pulled away from her.

He abruptly stood up, knocking his chair over as he backed across the living room until he ran into the counter.

“Falcon, I can explain this.” Grace said as she stood and walked towards him, her arms outstretched in an appeasing gesture.

“Witness protection was never part of the deal!” Falcon screamed as he slammed his fists down on the counter.

“Keep your voice down,” Grace hissed at him as she glanced towards the window. For a moment they both froze and stared at the window, waiting to see if anyone outside listening was going to come bursting in. But after a few moments of silence they both relaxed.

“I am not going into witness protection.” He stood tall. Grace had slipped out of her tall shoes and she was now a little shorter than he was and he loomed over her. He was twisting his fingers into fists, clenching and unclenching his hands as he searched for anything he could hit or break or smash.

“Why not?” Grace said. “It would protect you and your daughter forever. You would never have to worry about the Screaming Eagles again.”

“I did this so I could be with my daughter. I did this so I wouldn’t be another deadbeat loser in jail. I don’t want to be her absentee father that she never sees. I did this so I could watch her grow up and be there for her when she needs her father, and now you’re telling me that you want to fake my death and put me in witness protection? No! We had an agreement and witness protection was not a part of that.”

“Falcon, I cannot guarantee your safety. We can get a lot of the Screaming Eagles, but there’s no way we can get all of them. Word will get out that you helped us and there are limits to the protection we can offer you.”

“So, I put my life on the line, I betray my gang, and I get nothing!? Why would I help you now?”

“You are in too deep now to back out, so don’t try and threaten me, Falcon. Do you think it was easy for me to put you in witness protection? You’re an ex-biker gang member with a rap sheet a mile long and a connection to over half a dozen unresolved homicides. I’ve been working my ass off to put this together for you. That’s why I’ve been so hard to reach. I’ve been dealing with endless layers of bureaucracy to keep you safe, and I’m not letting you walk away from it.”

“No, Grace. It’s the one thing I didn’t want. I want to be there for my daughter. I can’t disappear on her and Kelly. I don’t want her growing up not knowing her father.”

“Then you need to get a time machine and go back fifteen years and not join a biker gang. This is it, Falcon. We don’t have a lot of choices. I don’t want to keep you out of jail just so you can die from a hit in a back alley somewhere. For better or worse, Falcon. You joined a gang and you’ve done a lot of illegal, jail-worthy stuff. You could easily look at a lifetime in prison. You have the deal clearing you of all charges, but if something else comes up, something not related to the Screaming Eagles or this investigation, I might not be able to help you.”

Falcon shook his head and walked away from Grace. He leaned against the counter, pressing his palms into the cheap counter top. He shook his head as he tried to find some other solution. He couldn’t leave Sophie; he couldn't leave his life. He couldn’t let her be that girl who didn’t have a dad.

“You have money saved up for Sophie and we could send more her way, as well,” Grace said softly.

“So, you think that’s all a father is? Someone who gives his kids money?”

“No,” Grace said. “But if you do stay, you would be marked all over town as a traitor. You would spend your entire life looking over your shoulder and, if we’re being honest, Falcon, Sophie would have a target on her back. They would know getting to her would get to you. She wouldn’t be safe, Falcon.”

Falcon shook his head in disgust and looked away. Grace was following him around imploring him to look at her. But every time she reached for him he would pull away from her.

“This wasn’t what we agreed to,” Falcon said angrily. “This isn't how this was supposed to play out. I’m going to lose everything, Grace. Do you understand that? Sophie is my family and you’re asking me to leave her behind.”

“I am asking you to think about the long term, Falcon,” Grace said quietly. “I am asking you to think about life as it is, not as we want it to be. I know that you want to be with Sophie. But you need to think of what is really going to happen if you stay. You really need to think about what that means to Sophie.”

***

“Yeah, I get it,” Falcon said as he shook his head in disgust. “You get everything you want. You get a big bust and a huge promotion and I get nothing. I get to leave my entire life behind. That works out really well for you.”

“It’s not like that,” Grace said.

“Then what is it like, Grace? What can you say that’s going to make any of this better? We have amazing sex and then you disappear for days and now you come back just to tell me that doing this with you, that helping you is going to cost me everything!”

“You’re doing this because it’s the right thing.”

“Fuck the right thing! I don’t care about doing the right thing! I want to keep my life! And what about us? I’m gonna lose you, too, aren’t I? Did you ever even feel anything towards me? Or was I just a tool you used to get what you wanted.”

“I do care about you, Falcon,” she said. And finally she had him cornered in the room and she took his face in her hands and implored him to look at her. Her green eyes were watery with tears and she was begging him to listen. “I care about you more than I should. It’s put this whole operation in jeopardy. Do you think it’s going to be easy for me to watch you leave? Every time I see you or talk to you I know that eventually I’m going to have to say goodbye to you forever and I don’t know how I’m going to do that.”

Falcon tore himself away from her touch. He was so angry and frustrated and at the same time he knew she was right. He couldn’t stay here after betraying the Screaming Eagles. He would have to leave forever. The only way to keep his family safe was to never see them again.

“Please say something,” Grace whispered from the other side of the room.

“What am I supposed to say? I can’t even really be mad at you. You gave me an out and I took it. I just, I didn’t think I would be losing so much.”

“I know it’s hard, Falcon. But it’s the only way. You’ll go somewhere nice and make a new life for yourself. A life that’s free from gangs and drugs and cops. Doesn’t that sound nice?”

“It would sound better if I didn't have to go alone. But I do, don’t I? No one else can come with me, no one else will know. I will be dead to the world. My daughter will mourn me and then forget about me. I’ll be nothing more than an old picture hung up on some forgotten wall in her house.”

“Falcon, if there were any other way-”

He cut her off. “No, you’re right. This is the only way. It’s the only way to bring the Screaming Eagles down and keep Sophie safe.” Falcon couldn’t help it, a single tear escaped his right eye and he brushed it away furiously. “I guess I’ll just have to do the best I can with the time that’s left for me.”

Grace was right next to him, her hand was on his arm and she was staring up at him. He couldn’t help himself and he didn’t want to stop himself. He didn’t have much time left and so he leaned down and enveloped Grace’s mouth with his own.