Outcome (Aftermath #2) (4 page)

"Something happened—where did you go?" Minna wiped at her cheeks, tears having spilled over.

Remy detected guilt in her expression. As if this was her fault. Christ. She needed to realize he was beyond saving.

Once upon a time, he'd tried. He'd reached out for help. His mom, his so-called family, a shrink… One killed herself, two abandoned him, and the latter never told Remy what he needed to hear. One way or another, everyone vanished.

"All I wanted was for you to sober up and start thinking clearly." Minna choked up and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I knew you'd refuse to go to rehab. This was all I could think of."

"I wish you'd let it go." He really did wish that.

He also wished he could forget his past. His fucked-up father, his mom, his two half brothers—one of whom kidnapped ten innocent men—and one cold stepmother who'd always blamed Remy for the shattering of the Stahl family.

Most of all, he desperately wished he could forget the guilt.

Hell, while he was at it, he wished he wasn’t guilty in the first place.

Guilty of unconsciously helping a kidnapper.

Chapter 4

Chase barged into his office, slammed the door shut, and tore through the drawers in his desk. It was those fucking letters he was in search of, and he didn’t even know why. Why the hell would he ever wanna lay eyes on them again? Four letters. Four letters that had killed him in every way except for cutting off his airway. Four letters he despised with every fiber of his being, yet he'd never been able to throw them out.

At the bottom of the third drawer, he found them inside a larger envelope. Four smaller envelopes fell out on the desk as he turned the parcel upside down. Three of them with postage and Chase's old address. Then the first one that he'd received through Cam.

Releasing a heavy breath, Chase slumped down in his chair and just stared at the envelopes.

In a very formal way, Remy had started each letter with
Dear Mr. Gallardo
, and having seen Remy in person now…it was weird. In another time and place—hell, in another universe—Chase might've found it endearing. But he settled for fucking weird now.

Nearly three years had passed since he'd read them, but several lines were forever etched into his mind.

"…were contacted by the police shortly after you and the other six men had given your statements…"

The first letter was full of apologies mixed with explanations.

"…when we found out that Ben was responsible, that he had put all of you through this…"

Chase and the other survivors had been revolted and angry after learning that Ben Stahl had been counted as a victim at first. Instead of as the kidnapper.

"…need you to know I don’t agree with my stepmother and half brother, Fred…"

Remy was clearly ashamed of his family, Clarissa and Fred Stahl in particular, because they spoke highly of Ben to the reporters.

"…and I'm sure I'm the last person you want to hear from, but I wanted to apologize…"

Remy seemed to be ashamed of himself, too.

The second letter had been slightly repetitive as Remy hadn't been sure the first one had reached Chase.

Then the third letter…? Goddamn. Chase remembered the awkward fumbling that shone through every line.

"…haven't heard from you, but that’s okay. You shouldn’t feel guilty for that. Not that I think you do. Feel guilty, I mean. I did tell you I wasn’t expecting any response."

Words had been crossed out, replaced by others. Some had been filled in more than once and underlined.

"…only writing to make sure you don’t think—
believe
I think you
have
to respond—that you're obligated to write me back."

Remy's handwriting was neat and flawless, just a bit cursive. Though, Chase had studied the letter to the point where he'd been able to see where Remy had paused because his hand had been shaking.

"…once again, I'm very sorry. For reminding you of what must've been a horrible fucking time, and for contacting you again."

The kid hadn't been able to apologize enough.

Remy had also divulged that he wasn’t close to anyone in his family—not even his real mom, due to her addictions to alcohol and prescription pills. Or "fucking oxys" as Remy had phrased it. This, Chase guessed, had prompted Remy to send a fourth and final letter. Because it had been full of more apologies, this time for unloading family drama onto Chase.

"…didn’t mean to complain. I know you don’t care, and you shouldn’t. You've suffered enough, all because of me and my family."

It was true—Chase didn’t wanna know shit about the Stahls. And what a fucking lie that was. Remy's words had only raised questions that Chase had struggled to push down for the past three years.

Unlike Cam—Austin too, to some degree—Chase wanted to know
why
. He wanted to know why Ben had kidnapped ten innocent men and forced them to play a part in that twisted game of Who Ruffled Ben's Feathers. Each and every man who'd been kidnapped had received a new name in captivity. A name that belonged to someone Ben knew—or had known.

On Chase's piece of paper, it had said Remy. Ben's young half brother.

Additionally, there had been a high school bully, an old boss, a couple cousins, an old friend who had betrayed him, another brother, a father, an uncle… But Ben hadn't kidnapped them. He'd gone after ten strangers instead and played the most vicious game of pretend that included torture and murder.

There were a couple theories as to why. The one Chase believed in was the scenario where Ben was too intimidated by his real nemeses to even go near them. Daddy issues, Cam had guessed with a shrug at one group session. A guess that fit with Ben's behavior while he'd held them all hostage.

Success was everything. College diplomas were vital. Being unemployed meant you were useless. Wearing a suit was good. Driving a nice car was also good. Blue collar was not.

Everyone who'd been taken had had menial jobs—or so Ben had thought. A mailman, a bartender, a couple construction workers and plumbers, a mechanic… One or two had even been without jobs. Considered lowlifes. Kidnapped. One by one. Held in metal cages in a humid basement out in the desert. For five fucking months. All while Ben punished them for what they'd never done.

Three men had died. 

In the end, Ben's little bubble had burst when he'd found out Austin and Tim weren't so worthless, after all. Tim was working toward his master's, only delivering mail in order to pay the bills. And Austin…? Austin had it made. Ben's father would call him a great success with the fancy job, the suit, the Mercedes. But, unfortunately, Austin had been wearing sweatpants with his father's construction company's logo the day Ben kidnapped him.

Naturally, Ben had been under the impression Austin was a construction worker.

It was a fluke how it had been revealed. Austin had made a sarcastic remark after Ben had called him…what was it? Chase couldn’t remember—simpleton! That was it. Simpleton. Austin had muttered something about how having an MBA from Duke University should've saved him from being called a simpleton.

If the men had thought Ben was unstable before, it was nothing compared to what came next. Aside from furious shouting and interrogating everyone about their college experience, Ben decided to "terminate the project" and set them all on fire.

That had never happened, thanks to Austin and Tim, but no one would ever be able to give back the five months they'd lost, all the broken bones, nightmares, and, of course, the lives of the three men who had died.

Scrubbing his hands down his face, Chase groaned and leaned forward on his knees. His eyes burned as he reread the letters for the first time in so long. Over and over, he studied Remy's words, and a knot of unease started to grow in Chase's stomach.

He didn’t feel the same hatred he'd felt last time. The fury that had dominated for so long wasn’t as forceful, nor was it directed at Remy, as it had been in the beginning.

Misplaced as it was, Chase had blamed his suffering on Remy for months before he got his shit together and acknowledged there was only one who was guilty.
Ben
. But even as Chase had realized the truth, he'd clung to the anger.

Anger was easy. Anger could be masked as strength. Anger kept the nausea at bay whenever he remembered he'd been with a man right before Ben had found him, which had landed Chase in that cage—

Christ, please stop.

Chase coughed into a closed fist and forced himself to move on.

He thought back to the look on Remy's face as he'd stumbled outta the bar. It confused Chase, this feeling of immense
hurt
. Bone-crushing and heart-wrenching pain. It had all been there in Remy's features, and Chase had
felt
it.

He couldn’t make heads or tails of this. The whole situation left him weary and tenuous.

Chase spat out a curse and balled one of the letters to throw it at a wall.

Frustrated as shit, he stood up and started pacing in the small office. Questions whirled around in his head, cracking down like thunder, each one demanding to be answered. Whether he despised Remy a little or a lot for storming into his life as the biggest reminder of what Chase was desperate to forget wasn’t fucking important.

Remy owed him, and the wounds had been reopened now, anyway. Chase could get his answers from that little motherfucker. But to actually seek out the man? Screw that. Chase couldn’t; it felt too masochistic.

Though, one other revelation of Remy's refused to be forgotten. Perhaps Remy hadn't meant anything when he wrote it in the second letter—Chase actually doubted it was significant because the police must've investigated it—but
what if?

What-fucking-if.

"I'm sorry for every dime I ever gave Ben."

Everyone had learned that Ben had been incapable of keeping a job, but holding ten men hostage for five months couldn’t have been cheap, regardless of how little they'd been fed.

Where had the money come from?

There was more than that, too. It wasn’t only about quenching his curiosity. It was about moving on. It was about accepting his past and beginning to finally look forward. As it was now, Chase's past haunted him too much. It held him hostage much like Ben had.

Some parts would always stay hidden, but if he could move past a big portion of the anger and gain some understanding, maybe it would be enough.

I guess I'm done running…?

Slumping down in his chair again, he sniffled and wiped angrily at his cheeks. The exhaustion was getting to him; he was close to his breaking point. And to think…just last week, he'd woken up with a goddamn smile because he'd finally opened his bar. Joshua's Place—his sanctuary.

That pinch of joy was gone now, and, unable to help it, his mind wandered back to Remy, and he wondered if the kid had felt any joy lately, too. Judging by the brief glance Chase had received, he doubted it. He'd probably never forget the look of Remy's face. The shadows, the fear overtaking… The morbid theme of the kid's tattoos.

Kid
. Chase scoffed and scrubbed his hands down his face. He knew Remy was thirty, though he looked older and younger at the same time. Pale, flawless skin, vulnerability, sadness, loss, lifestyle choices…they pulled Remy in one or another direction.

Chase was all over the place. Losing his fucking mind. Thoughts too jumbled.

Maybe I should go back to therapy
.

Or not.

Chapter 5

Austin grinned as his head hit the pillow, and Cam was quick to follow, all while getting rid of the towel that had been wrapped around him for all of two minutes. His hair was still wet from his shower as Austin weaved his fingers through it and pulled Cam down for a deep kiss.

"How quick do we gotta be?" Cam slid a hand between them, finding Austin hard and ready. Hell, he'd been ready all day. First day of his vacation, and he was already going stir-crazy. Meanwhile, Cam didn’t start his vacation until next week.

"I told Riley to be home at six." Austin turned his head to the nightstand and saw it was half past five. He'd already prepared the steaks and the grill, so they were good on time. "Did you speak to Jules?"

Cam shook his head as he reached over to grab the lube. "Landon did. Twins're still sick, so Jules is gonna stay home with them." He dipped down and kissed Austin, softer this time. Slower, more passionately, and deeper.

Austin groaned as two slicked-up fingers pushed inside him. The tediousness of today faded with each little thrust, but it was far from enough. "Today I learned that I don’t enjoy Spanish soap operas."

Cam smirked against Austin's jaw and withdrew his fingers. "You need it that bad, huh?" Austin nodded, lifting his head to look between them. Cam was so…incredibly sexy, especially in his naked glory. That pale skin and all that ink on display. The prominent V between his hips, his defined torso… "Don’t worry. I'll take care of you."

Gripping the base of his cock, he leaned over Austin and positioned himself before he slowly pressed inside.

"Oh, fuck…" Cam moaned.

Austin sucked in a breath and pushed back, lifting his hips. He also gripped Cam's narrower ones and released a drawn-out groan when his husband was all in. God, this was exactly what he needed today. Perfect transition between an uneventful day and the barbecue in a little while.

"Do that thing with your hips." At Austin's quiet request, Cam drew out, then pushed back in and rolled his hips, grinding deeper. Austin groaned, parted his legs farther, and slid down his hands to squeeze Cam's firm ass. "Jesus, that’s it."

"Yeah." Cam blew out a labored breath and rested his forehead to Austin's. "I gotta pause. You feel too good—" He swallowed. "Oh, for chrissakes…"

"What?" Austin kept one hand on Cam's ass, feeling his muscles clenching, as Austin's other hand roamed Cam's back, up his shoulder blades to his neck, into his dark hair again.

"You know how it is." Cam huffed, only to hiss when Austin gave his damp hair a tug. "
Ungh
—quit it, baby." Austin grinned. "Like, you gotta take a leak, and you're compelled to think about waterfalls. I'm tryin' not to bust a fuckin' nut, and I can't stop thinking about things I wanna do to you." Oh, Austin wanted to hear
that
. Nothing made him come harder than when Cam talked dirty. "Not my fault, though." Cam grunted and slid out, pushing in slower next time. "You've been too busy this week to take care of my needs."

Austin laughed into the crook of Cam's neck and nipped at the skin there. "I had to make sure my minions could cope without me for three weeks." He clenched his ass around Cam's cock, earning himself a gasp from the man on top. "And pardon me, but wasn’t it you who was too tired last night and the day before?"

"Yeah, well." Cam quit his muttering, having nothing to say. Austin knew. Because Cam had also been busy at work, all but dead on his feet when he'd walked through the door. "Fine. Whatever."

He smirked crookedly and met Austin's gaze for a beat. He could linger long these days, which Austin loved, but he also loved the uniqueness that came with Cam's disorder. Whenever he averted his eyes, usually to a spot near Austin's shoulder, Austin was brought back to the day they got married.

They'd stood together at the courthouse with their closest family members present, and immediately after Cam had uttered
"I do,"
he'd dropped a
"Motherfuck,"
faced the judge, and said,
"I gotta say it again 'cause I didn’t look at him. You got a problem with that?"

There were few things he loved more than the lack of a verbal filter that came with Cameron Nash. Or didn’t come, rather. And now he wanted to hear just how unfiltered Cam could be. Wicked, raw, downright indecent.

"Come on." Austin sucked Cam's bottom lip into his mouth. "I want to know all the dirty things. Go crazy on me."

Cam stiffened and spat out a curse. When his gaze flashed to Austin's, those mercury eyes filled with possessiveness. "All right." He pulled out from Austin and twirled a finger. "Get on all fours for me." Austin complied and stroked his cock that had softened a bit. Anticipation rushed through him as Cam spread his cheeks and dragged the head of his dick to Austin's hole. "You wanna know what I think of when I jack it in the shower?"

"Tell me." Austin's voice dripped with urgency. "You must've done a lot of that this week." He smiled to himself.

"Nah…maybe once or twice." Cam thrust forward an inch or two, teasing. "This is what you do to me." He slammed in.

It stole Austin's breath.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Pain interspersed with the intense pleasure, causing Austin's arms to tremble and his erection to thicken. The skin around his cock felt tight, and when he moved a shaky hand over his shaft, the head was slick with pre-come.

Cam had a firm grip on Austin's hips and pulled them backward. "Fuck yourself on my dick." Sitting back on his heels, he had his hands free when Austin took care of the movements, which he did greedily. He set a fast pace, knowing this was the position Cam could last longer in. "Let go—" Austin's hand was batted away from his cock and replaced by Cam's hand. "I think about
this
in the shower." He gave Austin's erection a solid squeeze that morphed into a downward stroke. "And I have two go-to fantasies."

"Give it to me." Austin grunted and pushed down hard on Cam's cock. Something ignited in him, the sensations zinging and zapping between all his erogenous zones.

"When you fuck me," Cam whispered in his ear, "and fuck me again. When we don’t need any lube." Goddamn, Austin loved that, too. His previous release would be enough for him to just slide home, burying his throbbing cock inside Cam's ass. "The noises drive me wild every fuckin' time." Cam's voice was all sex, raspy and close to Austin's ear. "So wet and hard." He fisted Austin's cock tighter and stroked faster.

Austin gasped and squeezed his eyes shut, ecstasy racing in his veins. His balls felt heavy and tight, but before he could beg Cam for more, he was pushed forward again. His hands hit the mattress, and he looked over his shoulder to see Cam ramming his cock into him.

Fuck!

"My other favorite," Cam gritted out. "When you suck me off—" he leaned over Austin's body to kiss the spot between his shoulder blades "—and you don't swallow right away." Austin flushed with heat and even a little embarrassment, which was ridiculous. "When you ask me to come on your tongue." It was that hot whisper again. "You really
taste
me."

"I love it." Austin hung his head and grabbed his cock, stroking it hard. "I love tasting you." He could both see and feel the effect his words had on his husband. Cam sped up behind him. Austin felt each thrust, heard every slapping sound their skin made upon impact, and sensed Cam's loss of control.

Austin's orgasm rolled around inside him, threatening to erupt at any moment. 

Just then, Cam stiffened. "Oh fuck—
Austin
!" Rocking deeper into Austin, he found his release, and by the time he pulled out and was able to catch his breath, Austin was ready to burst.

He was also ready to beg. "Make me come." Desperation laced his tone, probably the reason Cam hurried to comply.

"On your back." Cam leaned over to the nightstand, still breathing heavily, and found their one and only toy—a vibrator for the G-spot. Austin groaned in suspense and rolled over. "I've missed this." Cam settled between Austin's legs, easily inserting the vibrator, its curled tip pressing against Austin's prostate.

"Fucking me with a toy?" Austin chuckled, out of breath, then moaned when the vibrator buzzed alive. "Oh God, yes."

"No. This." Without another word, Cam lowered his mouth and swallowed Austin's cock. He sucked strongly, as if he hadn't done this in years as opposed to a week. But Austin wasn’t going to complain. He watched hungrily as Cam pleasured him, all while that toy vibrated against his prostate.

"Almost," he managed to grit out. He was right there, teetering on the edge, and when Cam's dark silver eyes flashed to his, he was done. Ropes of come pulsed out of his cock, and he groaned breathlessly at the feel of Cam's tongue swirling around him. Those firm lips, the hot suction, the wetness… Austin was beside himself, completely lost to his climax.

It was going to be a goddamn amazing vacation once Cam started his. They'd be activity-loving parents to their daughter, but once Riley went camping with Landon's family, all bets were off. Austin was looking forward to lazy mornings in bed and sun-filled days by the pool.

Before it became too much, Cam removed the vibrator from Austin's sensitive ass and then collapsed next to him. "Fuck me, I needed that."

Austin swallowed against the dryness in his throat and nodded. "Just wait 'til next week when you start your vacation."

Cam moved close, shifting Austin's arm away so he could rest his head on Austin's shoulder. "Sounds like you have plans for us."

"Damn right." Austin rolled them over, half on top of Cam. He kissed his man on the lips, chastely at first, then delved deeper. He hummed as he tasted himself in the kiss, something that seemed to excite Cam.

"Motherfuck," Cam cursed. Then he pushed his fingers into Austin's hair and deepened the kiss further. "I love you."

Austin smiled against Cam's lips. "Love you—"

The sound of the doorbell reminded them of the fact they had Landon and Chase coming over for a barbecue. Probably some poker too, since Jules wouldn’t be here. 

Cam raised a brow, eyeing the clock on the nightstand. "What the fuck? Someone's early."

"Can't be Riley." Austin was reluctant to leave the bed but did so anyway. "She wouldn’t exactly ring the doorbell, nor would she be early." He peered down at his chest and then grimaced.

I need a shower.

Cam seemed to understand without an explanation. "I'll be Mr. Host until you're ready." He leveled Austin with a serious look as he pulled on a pair of khaki shorts. "Don’t be long. Can't have people thinking I like being social all of a sudden."

Austin chuckled, retrieving a pair of boxer briefs from a drawer. "You don’t." He grabbed jeans and a T-shirt from their closet, too.

"Exactly."

Withholding his smirk, Austin nodded. "All I need is two minutes."

Maybe it took three, but that was still fast. Austin had a towel around his neck, his clothes clinging to his still-damp body, and he was pretty sure he had a few suds from his body wash behind his ear. One swipe with the towel said yep.

"He didn’t show up at the garage earlier, either." There was a frown in Cam's voice as Austin got closer to the hallway. "And he's working right now?" It sounded as though he was repeating something someone else had told him, whoever it was at the door probably. "As far as I know, he's supposed to be here in a little bit."

"The way he's been acting, I doubt he remembers," a woman answered.

Her voice was vaguely familiar, and when Austin finally rounded the corner, he saw it was Donna, the young girl who worked for Chase.

Donna ducked her head, a faint blush spreading over her cheeks as Austin came up behind Cam. At the same time, Cam turned to Austin.

There was that frown. "I forgot to tell you. Chase didn’t show up at the garage today."

Austin's brows knitted together. He'd heard something about Chase having an appointment with Landon, who worked with motorcycles while Cam's specialty was vintage cars. But Austin didn’t understand what that had to do with Donna being here. Had something happened?

"Is something wrong?" Austin faced Donna.

"I'm not sure, Mr. Huntley." She wouldn’t look him in the eye, and the formality made Austin feel ancient. The brief moment he'd spoken to her at Chase's bar's opening, she'd only flushed scarlet when he told her to call him Austin. "Chase has been acting very…strange." Donna wrung her hands awkwardly. "Um, he's spacing out—like, when I say his name, he doesn’t react. I haven't seen him eat anything in a while, either. And yesterday, I asked if I could borrow his phone in his office, and he just waved me along." At Austin's raised eyebrow, she rushed to explain. "He usually doesn’t let anyone into his office. It's a thing. He's very private about it."

"All right," Austin said slowly. He didn’t quite know what to say, because whereas Austin and Cam were low-key people and valued their privacy, Chase Gallardo was Fort Knox. Austin was certainly worried, though. They considered Chase a friend, but he was one they had to take baby steps with.

Well, Cam only demanded to get to the bottom of things when it concerned his immediate family. He was fine with things as they were, but Austin had often wondered about Chase's well-being. The man was constantly on guard, as if he was waiting for someone to jump out of the bushes and attack.