Outbreak (20 page)

Elaine brings the pizza into the kitchen and Mark and David quickly grab a piece. She stares at me with a look that screams
spill it!
“Well?” she finally asks me.

“To start with, I’m doing this alone.” The words scrape across my tight throat. “I won’t let you risk your lives. Not anymore.” I take a slice of pizza and shove it in my mouth before anyone can say anything.

Silence blooms in the space between us, sucking the oxygen from the room.

“It’s just not safe,” I say when I can no longer stand it. “My feelings are out of control right now. So are my abilities. This recruit has orders to kill me. And he’ll kill any of you just to get to me.”

Elaine opens her mouth and I quiet her with a single look.

“Don’t start,” I say. “I know you want to help me. And I appreciate everything that you’ve done so far, both of you. But having you around distracts me. I worry about keeping you safe. I worry about what will happen if he takes you, kills you. I can’t focus when you’re around.” I glance at Mark. “You have to leave. Both of you. Tomorrow morning. It’s the only way I can do what needs to be done.”

Elaine’s face reddens. “Let me get this straight. I’m
the
distraction. Really?” Elaine asks. “I think we both know I’m not your only distraction.” Her gaze darts to David before settling back on me.

Heat rises through my cheeks. “David can take care of himself.”

“So what you really mean is that Mark and I are too much of a risk because we’re
normal
. Is that it? Nice.”

“You know I don’t mean anything bad—”

Too late. Elaine is up and out of the room before my words can finish. I touch her thoughts, feel the bitter anger and regret. She feels betrayed.

Just like me.

“Let me talk to her,” David says as he follows her out of the room.

“Don’t worry. She’ll come around,” Mark says. “You’re her best friend. She wants, needs, to help you.”

“No. I don’t want her to
come around
. I want her out of here. I want you both gone. If being pissed off at me achieves that, fine. Take her out of here. Force her if you have to. She’ll listen to you.” My voice grows more frantic with each word.

“I don’t know,” Mark says. “Elaine’s not one to do something just because I asked.”

“I know. She’s stubborn. Always has been.” I force a calm into my voice. “You have to do this for me. Keep her safe. Please.”

“It won’t be easy.”

“You have to try.”

Mark looks at his half-eaten slice of pizza, silent. My pulse roars in my ears. I don’t want my friends anywhere near the recruit when I confront him. Mark has to listen to me. He has to help.

“Look,” Mark says after a too-long pause, “I can’t promise Elaine will do anything I ask. She is really her own woman. But I think I know a way. Let’s just make plans as though we’re both involved. I’ll get her out of here before any of the trouble starts. You have my word.”

I connect my mind to his, still unsure that I can trust him.

“It’s okay. Go through my thoughts. I probably wouldn’t trust me either.”

My cheeks flush again.
How did you know what I was doing?
I think. Finding nothing of concern in his thoughts, I retreat. “Thank you, Mark. You’ve done so much for us already.”

Elaine returns with David. He nods at me and I know he’s worked his magic. David can be very charming when he wants to be.

“I’m sorry I got so mad,” Elaine explains. “It’s been a rough day.”

That’s an understatement.

“No harm done. I’m probably jumping the gun anyway. I don’t even know how we’re going to find my brother, let alone what to do once we have him.”

“Let’s just focus on finding him,” Mark says. He looks at me and smiles. “We’ll figure the rest out from there.”

Not the wisest decision, I’m sure, but it’s the only thing we can all agree on.

Evening spills into night, filled with more pizza and a sketchy plan. David and I decide to use our skills to locate Liam. I don’t know how much of the visions he believes. David is certain it isn’t much. Regardless, we agree that we need to find a way to help him accept the images as his memories, accept the truth. Mark suggests various medications that can help subdue him and retrieve his memories. Elaine agrees to go with Mark to get them. We’ll need a better strategy to catch Liam and convince him to help us stop LeMercier, but we have a place to start. For now.

“I’m beat,” I say through a wide yawn. Between the adrenaline drop, too-many-memories still playing in my thoughts, and the carb overload from the pizza, I know I’ll fall asleep the second I get to our room.

David says our goodnights and guides me to the guest room Elaine has made up for us. My heavy eyelids refuse to stay open and I am asleep as soon as I hit the bed.

The dream starts like it always does. The same box pinning me. The same dirt landing on the box with loud thuds, spilling onto my face through the spaces between the planks of the wooden cover. I push against the darkness and the wood. Nothing. As always, I can’t move.

“I see you, Liar,” my brother says in the dream. “I know you’ve tricked me.”

“Will you betray me, Dakota?” The voice morphs and changes. I feel Mom’s presence in the dream.

The dream dips and turns, morphing into something new. I throw the dirt now. I condemn the person in the box to die. And I know exactly who it is . . .

Liam.

I wake in a cold sweat. David groans, rolls over and settles back into a deep sleep. I untangle my legs from the bedding and throw them over the side of the bed. The floor is cool beneath my feet, the air stiff. I inhale a settling breath. Nothing. Anxiety needles my spine and I leave the room, too antsy to stay still. I walk to the kitchen in search of water. And peace. I hate being like this—fragile, afraid. Embracing my gifts can alleviate things, I know. But at what cost?

“Can’t sleep?” Elaine sits at the counter, a glass of milk in hand.

“Nope. Nightmares. I guess you can’t either?”

“Nope.” Elaine looks at her half-emptied glass. Waves of sadness roll from her to me. “I’m sorry about earlier,” she says. “I just feel like you’re keeping secrets from me.”

“I don’t mean to make you feel that way. It’s just . . . there are things I can’t talk about.”

“With me, you mean. There are things you can’t talk about with me. I miss the old times, when we shared everything. When you trusted me.”

Her words hit my gut, forcing the air from my lungs. “I still trust you,” I whisper. I clear my throat and take several deep breaths. “It’s just . . . this stuff . . . it’s all too hard to discuss. You’d never believe it all.”

“Try,” Elaine says as she stands. “You can tell me anything.”

“I know.” I want to share my deepest secrets with her. I want her—need her—to tell me this is all going to work out. I want her to lie.

Elaine retrieves two quarts of ice cream from the freezer, two spoons and rejoins me at the counter. I smile as my stomach releases a low growl.

“Just like old times,” she says through a smile. She hands me a spoon and a quart of Pralines and Cream. “Ice cream solves everything.”

Truth.

Elaine digs into her Rocky Road as I savor my ice cream. A few moments pass and the urge to tell Elaine everything becomes insurmountable.

“Promise me you’ll listen to all of this with an open mind?” I ask, my voice barely more than a whisper.

“Of course,” Elaine says. She puts down her spoon and stares into my soul.

I release a tight breath. “The experiments . . .”

“When they tried to turn you into an assassin?”

“They did more than try. The experiments were successful. I’ve killed people in cold blood. I can see it sometimes, in my dreams.”

Elaine’s expression is stoic.

“And the doctor in charge, Dr. Benjamin LeMercier, the one who trained me . . .” The next words lodge deep in my throat, unwilling to be spoken. I cough, clear away the emotions threatening to undo me.

“It’s okay,” Elaine encourages.

“He was—is—my father.”

Pity follows shock as Elaine absorbs the information. “Wait,” she says, “so this crazy guy was your biological dad?”

All I can do is nod.

“And Josh, was he Josh’s father, too.”

Again I can only nod.

“He’s the one, isn’t he? The ‘Ben’ in your mom’s journals.”

“Yeah.”

“Did this LeMercier person know he was your dad when he was training you?”

“I don’t think so, not then. But he knows now.”

“And when Josh was killed? Did he—”

“Yeah. He sent one of our friends to kill his own son.”

“Damn,” Elaine whispers. “That’s really messed up.” She grabs my hand in hers and squeezes. “I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through.”

“Mom took us, all of the recruits, and put us in hiding after an accident.”

“What kind of accident?”

I pause and stare at my hands, not wanting her to see the depth of the shame etched on my face.

“Me. I killed someone I wasn’t supposed to kill. Someone at the compound.” The words scrape against my throat. “My friend’s father.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t your fault,” Elaine says. It was, but I can’t bring myself to tell her that.

“After the man died, I freaked out. The entire wing I was in exploded and one of the researchers was killed. David’s father.”

Elaine’s jaw drops. “Does he . . .?”

“Yeah. He knows. He insists it wasn’t my fault. That LeMercier did all of this.”

“He’s right.” She waits until I look at her. “None of this is your fault. Your father is bat-shit nuts. Your mom abandoned you when you needed her the most. And now some guy who’s supposed to be your younger brother wants to kill you.” Elaine shakes her head. Her eyes fill with tears. “You’ve been lied to your entire life. About everything. Honestly, if you think about it , I’m amazed you didn’t wind up in Mountain View years ago!”

Laughter spills out of my mouth. The sound reverberates through me, releasing years of tension. I meet Elaine’s gaze. We both laugh until the tears pour from our eyes.

Sighing deeply, I take her hands. “Look, I love you, Elaine, but I don’t want you to come with me. Not because you’re a distraction, but because of what it would do to me to lose you.” I swallow back the tension that fills the space vacated by our laughter. “LeMercier is psychic. He’s probably stronger than any of us. I don’t know that I can block him from my thoughts. If he knows how important you are to me, if he can extract your location from my mind, he
will
use you to get to me. He’ll kill you to ensure that I come back to him.”

“Why does he want you so bad?” Elaine asks. “Is it because you’re his daughter?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. I think it’s nothing so ‘fatherly’. I think he just wants to use me. He trained me. I’m his property now. He wants me to kill again. If not for him, then for the people he’s associated with.”

“But you won’t do that,” she says.

“But I could. And if I go after him, if I go after my brother, I’ll have to fully embrace my gifts. I’ll have to be the Assassin. I did that once, and I barely found my way back. If I do it again, I’m afraid I’ll like it too much to give it up. I’ll be the killer he trained me to be forever.” My hands shake as the words tumble out.

“Do you really think that would happen?” Elaine asks as she tries to steady me. “Seriously, Dakota. I’ve known you most of our lives. You’re not a killer. Not even close.”

“I’m sure the gunmen have a different opinion.”

“That’s different,” she says. “They were trying to kill you. Based on what I’ve seen in the last couple of days, I have no doubt you can kill people when needed. But so far the only people you’ve hurt are the people who tried to kill you first. That’s not how an assassin or a killer would act.”

Confusion sears through me. “David says the same thing.”

“He’s right. You know, you really have to give that boy a break. He knows you better than you know yourself.”

Awkward silence fills the state space between us as my vulnerability and shame well inside.

“Have you told him how you feel about him?” Elaine is relentless.

“You know I haven’t. It’s too hard. What kind of life can we ever have?”

“It doesn’t matter. You need to tell him, while you still can.”

The reality of her words hits me like a jolt of ice-water. “I know. You have to leave with Mark. Tomorrow morning. Please.” I can be relentless, too.

Elaine closes her eyes and nods. “You know I hate leaving you. What if it’s all a trap and your father takes you?”

“If that happens, David and I will deal with it.” I smile and look at Elaine. “Besides, it isn’t like it’ll be the first time I’ve been betrayed and caught by LeMercier.”

“But I don’t want it to be your last, Dakota.” Elaine releases a sigh. Several heartbeats pass. “Fine,” she says as her shoulders slump in resignation. “Fine. Mark and I will leave in the morning. Right after we get the meds and make sure you know where Liam is.”

I give Elaine a big hug. “Thank you,” I whisper into her ear. I pull back and meet her gaze. “I need one more favor,” I say.

“You’re already pushing it, Harrison,” Elaine says with a wink as she tries to lighten the mood.