Authors: Rachael Johns
Ruby shrugged. âCome on, ladies, you can't have a hens night without a few fake cocks!'
âWhat would Drew think about these?' Frankie asked, fingering hers as Ruby handed them all out. It squeaked like a dog's chew toy and they all cracked up again.
âWhat Drew doesn't know won't hurt him,' Ruby said. âBesides, I'm sure the boys are getting up to their own fun.'
A worried look crossed Stella's face. âYou don't think they'll do anything stupid to Adam, do you?'
The men were at The Palace, getting up to who knows what kind of mischief. Even though Drew was a cop, she doubted he'd be able to stop Monty and the footy guys having their fun with Adam if that's what they so desired. âThey'll be fine,' Simone lied. âLiam doesn't allow strippers in his pub.'
âReally?' Ruby and Stella said at the same time.
âYep.' Faith nodded. âYears ago he had a bunch of skimpies in for one night and one of them stole all the takings from the till and did a runner. He's borne a grudge against all skimpies, strippers and the like since.'
âThey'll probably just have a few quiet beers and a game of pool,' Frankie said, eyeing the box warily. âYou got anything else in there?'
Ruby shook her head. âI contemplated buying us Pin the Cock on Jock, but thought better of it. I do have some penis-shaped after-dinner mints for later though.'
âSplendid.' For someone dosed up on champagne, Frankie sounded a little grumpy.
Simone frowned, wondering if everything was okay. The last week had gone quickly and they hadn't spoken as much as they usually did. Not that they'd had a fight or anything, but they'd both been busy. Lunch in Geraldton with Logan had taken up most of Simone's Wednesday and the rest of her week had been filled with the usual Meals on Wheels, school canteen duties and time spent finishing the wedding bombonière. The only times she'd seen Frankie were the two shifts she'd done in the café, and even then they'd been like ships passing in the night, with Frankie rushing home to do âcake preparation' the moment Simone arrived. There appeared to be a lot more to making a wedding cake than any of them had anticipated. Maybe that's why Frankie was in a mood: stress.
âAnd I do have a couple of pre-dinner games,' Ruby said, tearing Simone's mind away from her sister. She picked up a few clipboards and some pink pens from the floor next to the box and started handing them around.
âWhat's this about?' Faith asked, glaring down at her clipboard. âI hope I don't have to think too hard. Pregnancy brain has well and truly hijacked my mind.'
Simone tossed her a sympathetic smile. âIt never ends ⦠pregnancy brain turns into baby brain and then you blink and your cute little cherubs have turned into scary monsters who give you
teenager
brain and that'sâ'
âDon't scare the pregnant woman,' Frankie interrupted as Faith's eyes widened in fear.
âLadies.' Ruby tapped the side of her champagne flute with her pen. âThis is a quiz about Adam and Stella. For every question you get wrong you have to take a sip of your drink. You ready?'
âHang on,' Simone said. âWhat do we get if we get the question right?'
Ruby's brow furrowed a moment. âYou get to take a sip of your drink.'
They all laughed again.
âSounds good to me.' Frankie took a sip of hers for good measure. âWhat's the first question?'
Ruby cleared her throat. âIn which season did Adam and Stella meet?'
âOh, I know this one.' Faith bounced in her seat, her hand shooting up into the air.
âWrite it down,' Ruby said, her tone amused.
Simone scribbled âsummer' down onto her pad, but Frankie looked at Stella. âDid you arrive in late November or early December?'
Stella opened her mouth but Ruby held up her hand. âDon't say a word. No questions, Frankie, that's cheating. Right ⦠next question. What did Stella cook the first time she and Adam ate dinner together?'
âI think I'm going to get one hundred per cent,' Stella said and then took another sip of her drink.
There were twenty questions in allâsome easy, some trickyâand by the time Ruby had called out the answers, they'd gone through another two bottles of champagne between them.
âI'm feeling quite light-headed,' Stella confessed, a big grin on her face.
âThat's the idea,' Ruby said. âDo you want another game or shall we eat now?'
The unanimous decision was food, so Frankie and Faith went into the kitchen to ready the feast they'd prepared earlier that day. For a small wedding, there was going to be a big bridal party, with Simone, Frankie, Ruby and Faith as bridesmaids; Monty, Drew and two blokes from the local football team as groomsmen; and of course gorgeous little Heidi as flower girl.
Ruby, Stella and Simone took the glasses and what was left of the last bottle of bubbly over to the dining room and took their places at the table.
âWow, this is beautiful.' Simone admired the table as she sat down. Not a fake penis in sight; instead there were gorgeous pink candles, a lace tablecloth and shiny cutleryâfar removed from the mismatched knives and forks she had at her place. Someone had even folded the pale pink napkins into swans. Impressive.
âYes,' Stella agreed, sounding a little choked up. âI can't thank you enough for going to all this trouble, girls.'
âHey, I did nothing,' Simone said, feeling a little guilty about that now. She'd had a crazy week and no-one would have wanted her to help Frankie with the food anyway, but she could have contributed to the table design.
âYou're worth it,' Ruby said and Simone had to agree with that.
âI was beginning to think my spunky cousin would be alone for life and then you drove into town like an early Christmas present and swept him off his Blundies.'
Stella laughed. âSpeaking of spunky men ⦠when are you going to update us all about how things are going with Mr Logan Knight?'
âOoh, yes,' Faith said as she and Frankie entered from the kitchen with trays of steaming food. âI need all the goss on this new guy of yours. Ruby said he's quite good-looking.'
âUnderstatement of the century,' Frankie said, dumping a casserole dish of what smelt like curry on the table.
For a moment Simone forgot about Logan as she inhaled the tantalising scents.
Frankie and Faith finished laying the food out on the table and then took their spots. âDig in,' Frankie said, taking another sip of her champagne.
âWell, Simmo?' Faith began, when they all had bowls laden with rice, curry and accompaniments. âTell me all about your new man. I feel so out of everything now I'm so far away.'
âHe's â¦' Simone was at a loss for words. Many a time she'd put her friends in the hot seat about their new love interests, but she shifted in her own seat at the prospect of talking about hers. Truth was, she thought she should be more excited than she was about this newfound relationship. For the last few years she'd been hankering to get back in the saddle. Her lady bits were so dry she thought they may have shrivelled up and died but she'd been desperate to see if she could breathe some life back into them. She'd well and truly landed on her feet with Logan, who was undeniably hot, smart, patient and liked her kids, but the thought of taking things to the next levelâof even getting naked with himâscared the bejesus out of her.
What if she'd forgotten how to do it? She'd only ever been with one man and she'd been Jason's first as well, whereas the way Angus had spoken, it sounded like Logan was a bit of a Casanova. It still perplexed her why he was bothering with someone like her when he must have a hundred women knocking at his door.
Simone glanced around the table to see the others all leaning forward, their eyes gleaming in anticipation.
âHe's what exactly?' Faith asked, before shoving a forkful of curry and rice into her mouth.
âHe's absolutely gorgeous,' she said, her cheeks heating with all the attention. âInside and out.'
âHave you got a photo?' Faith wanted to know.
âNo.' Simone shook her head and then suddenly recalled the selfie Logan had taken of them when they were out to lunch in Geraldton. He'd messaged it to her later that night. âActually, yes.' She pulled out her phone and scrolled through her messages to find it. âHere.'
Her phone was passed around the table and Simone watched in amusement at the expressions on her friends' faces and the noises escaping their mouths as they scrutinised him.
âNot bad at all,' Faith declared when she finally handed the phone back. âSo, what's he like in bed?'
* * *
The last thing Frankie wanted to hear about was how good Logan was in bed, but she couldn't for the life of her think of an excuse to get up and flee the room. Every muscle in her body tensed as their friends turned their eyes to Simone in anticipation. Frankie didn't think they'd slept together yet, but she wasn't a hundred per cent sure. She was fairly certain that Simone would have told her if they'd taken that step, but then again, she'd kinda been avoiding her sister the last few days for fear of hearing something she didn't want to hear.
âWe haven't done the deed yet,' Simone confessed, and Frankie couldn't help but let out the breath she'd been holding. Thankfully none of the othersâall focused on Simoneânoticed her display of relief.
âIt's hard,' Simone said. âAlthough we've talked lots on the phone, we've only actually seen each other in person a few times. I could hardly jump into bed with him at my house when the girls were home. Besides, I wasn't ready yet. The next time we saw each other was at his farm with his brother and my daughters hanging around.'
âEver heard of taking a walk and doing it in a paddock?' Faith suggested with a snort of laughter. âFirst time Monty and I had sex was on the ground, under the stars. It was oh, so romantic.'
âI thought you were drunk?' Frankie said, unable to help herself.
âWell, I was â¦' Faith conceded, âand the morning after I was mortified, but the sex was fan-fucking-tastic.'
They all laughed, even Frankieâthe alcohol having well and truly gone to their heads; although Faith didn't seem to need any liquid assistance to be frank with her anecdotes.
âDidn't you have lunch in Geraldton this week?' Stella asked. âNo opportunity to sneak away to a hotel somewhere?'
âI'm shocked by all of you,' Simone exclaimed. âWhat kind of hussy do you think I am?'
âI'm sorry,' Ruby said, not sounding so at all, âbut ever since I've met you, you've been waxing lyrical about needing some action down under and here you are with this extremely sexy man and you haven't made use of him yet?'
âI don't want to rush into things and ruin them.' Simone glanced down at her plate and for a second Frankie felt sorry for her being under the spotlightâthen she remembered her sister was the one with Logan Knight on speed dial and all sympathy evaporated.
âDon't wait too long,' Faith warned, nodding towards Simone's phone. âOtherwise someone else might swoop in and snap him up.'
âI won't,' Simone said, then inhaled deeply. âIn fact, I'm thinking next weekend might be the right time, at the wedding.'
Stella's eyes widened. âI hope you don't mean during the actual ceremony. I want all eyes to be on me.'
Simone laughed. âThey will be. You'll make a beautiful bride. I meant the night time. I've just spoken to Mum and I think we've worked out the logistics to make it possible.'
âDo tell,' said the others in unison.
Despite herself, Frankie was all ears.
âWell, Mum booked an apartment with two rooms for her, Graham and Frankie,' Simone spoke as if Frankie wasn't even there, âand I'd booked another one for me and the girls. Mum's going to pretend she wants to spend quality time with her granddaughters and have them in with her. Frankie can share with me so I won't have to worry about the girls when I bring Logan back to my room.'
While Stella, Ruby and Faith applauded this cunning plan, Frankie struggled to keep down the curry she'd eaten. She was surrounded by women who were no doubt getting it on a daily basis and her older sister, who was planning to break her sexual drought next weekend. She'd never felt more like an old maid in her life. The closest she was going to get to a penis anytime soon was the fake one hanging around her neck.
âAnd where will Angus be?' she asked, making a mental note to buy herself some high-grade earplugs because hotel walls were often thin and she didn't want to have to listen to Logan and Simone consummating their relationship all freaking night.
âIn the room he and Logan have booked. Unless you two hit it off.' Simone shot her a teasing grin.
âWho's Angus?' Stella and Faith both wanted to know.
âLogan's brother. He's coming to the wedding as Frankie's date,' Simone explained.
âOoh.' Ruby looked to Frankie. âIs he as hot as his brother?'
Frankie shrugged one shoulder. âI don't know,' she said, although she doubted anyone could be
quite
as hot as Logan. It was this line of thinking that had made it practically impossible for her to identify any men on Rural Matchmakers she wanted to make contact with. Damn the man. âBut we're meeting on Sunday.'
âA blind date!' Faith exclaimed. âHow exciting.' If Frankie wasn't mistaken, she sounded more sympathetic than excited.
âDid I forget to mention?' Simone said, grimacing. âLogan had to cancel Sunday lunch. He's had to go to Perth today at the last minute to cover some protest march for a friend who's in hospital with swine flu, and he'll be there all weekend.'
âOh.' Frankie didn't know what to say about this news. She guessed she was both disappointed and relieved at not having to see Logan again so soon, but now she faced the prospect of attending a wedding with a total stranger.