Out Of The Shadows (3 page)

“I think you’d better come in,” he said.

Dane followed him in, through the hall and back upstairs. Suddenly, he froze. He looked around, as though realising all of a sudden that they were in Jai’s bedroom. His eyes flicked worriedly over Jai’s attire, nothing more than the shorts he had been sleeping in, his torso bare. Dane began to make for the door again, as though to leave.

“No you don’t.” Jai closed his door. “You’re freezing,” he said, coming to stand by Dane. “What have you been doing?”

Dane wouldn’t meet his eyes. “I went out and I didn’t have enough money for a taxi. I had to walk and it started raining. You said before that I could talk to you; I couldn’t think where else to go.” He shivered again, the wet leather jacket and t-shirt not keeping him warm at all. “I’m sorry; I should leave.”

Jai came to him and began to remove his leather jacket. Dane looked uneasy, backing off slightly.

“Relax,” Jai told him. “We need to get you warm. Trust me.”

Dane let Jai strip him of his jacket and t-shirt, boots and jeans, and then led him to the bed.

“Get in,” he said, laying down facing Dane and pulling the covers back over them both. It was warm in here and he was getting cold in just his boxers. Besides, they needed to get Dane warmed up; even a wolf, with their raised body temperature, felt it if he got too cold.

“Now, are you going to tell me why you were wandering about in the rain in the middle of the night?”

Dane huddled lower under the covers, still shivering, and this time he didn’t move away as Jai edged closer and put his arms around him, sharing body heat. It wasn’t uncommon for wolves to sleep together, platonically. They found comfort in touch. Right now, however, Jai was feeling anything but platonic. He kept that thought to himself. Dane didn’t say anything, though, just kept his gaze down, away from Jai’s.

“Dane, come on. Talk to me.”

Dane shook his head. “I don’t know what to do; I feel like there’s something wrong with me.”

“I don’t understand what you mean.”

Jai angled Dane’s face to look into his eyes, seeing the shame and fear there, and gave him a reassuring smile.

“You want to tell me?”

Dane took a few shaking breaths before he began to speak. “I went out tonight. To a bar.” He paused, looking at Jai for the first time. “It isn’t the first time, not by a long shot, but something was different. This guy—I shouldn’t have gone with him...”

Jai frowned. “Are you trying to tell me that you were attacked?”

“No. I wanted to go with him. I let him pick me up because I wanted to have sex, not necessarily with him, anyone. He had someone else with him and I just let them fuck me.”

Jai hugged him tightly to his chest.

“So you went to this place looking for sex?” he asked. “Dane, why would you do that?”

“I feel so ashamed of myself.”

“Why, because you let them have sex with you?”

Dane shook his head. “No, it’s because I enjoyed it. I can’t believe I’m telling you this.” He hesitated. “I always went with strangers because I liked being anonymous; it made it easier to go through with it, to tell myself that it was just sex. I think tonight it hit me just how low my life has gotten.”

“How come you never said anything?” Jai asked. “About this, I mean. I never even guessed that you were gay.”

“I’m not!”

Jai’s eyebrow arched. “Dane, what are you so afraid of?”

“I’m not afraid. Shit, maybe I am a bit,” Dane relented. “You have no idea what it was like back in my old pack, with my family. My dad isn’t the most open-minded person; I can’t let him know. I never could. Since I realised that I liked…” at Jai’s nod, saying that he knew what
wasn’t
being said, he continued. “I have been terrified that he would find out.”

“Would he really react so badly? Surely he would just want you to be happy.”

Dane let out a bitter laugh. “Not a chance. I had a friend who was gay when I was younger and I lost count of the number of comments he made, derogatory ones, about him. He wasn’t discreet about his opinions. I can’t handle him doing that to me.”

“So you kept it anonymous?”

At Jai’s prompting, the rest of it spilled out, from his experiences in the bars back home and then coming here, looking to start again. He had wanted to cut himself off from that life, make a fresh start. Unfortunately, he had just dropped himself back into the same pattern of behaviour.

“Tell me what to do, Jai, please. I want more but I can’t risk people finding out.”

Jai shook his head. “I can’t tell you what to do; that has to be your decision,” he said. “What I can do is help you. You’ve been around us long enough to know that we’re pretty accommodating, no matter what your preferences. Look at Ret and Andy, or me or Dex for that matter. The guards will accept you no matter what.”

“No, please, I don’t want them to know. Please, Jai.”

“Calm down; it’s alright. We’ll keep it between us, just you and me. It doesn’t have to go any further.”

Dane swallowed hard, nodding, looking relieved.

Jai nodded. “Look, I think you should get some sleep and you’ll feel better in the morning.”

“Do you want me to go?”

“No, I like having you here,” Jai told him, brushing a kiss over his forehead.

“What are you doing?” Dane looked edgy again.

Jai smiled. “Relax, I’m not going to ravish you the minute your back is turned,” he joked.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

“To be honest,” Jai told him, “I am very attracted to you and I would love to have sex with you, but I won’t take advantage of you. Right now I’m offering someone to talk to but that doesn’t mean that, in the future, if you wanted to, I wouldn’t jump at the chance.”

“Oh.”

Jai turned over in bed, curling his back along the front of Dane’s body and dragging the other man’s arm over his waist. It gave Dane the upper hand to sleep behind, something which Jai thought he needed right now. He had told the truth about being attracted to him, simply leaving out the part about them being mates. At this point, it seemed that Dane was so confused that he probably hadn’t noticed the bond. In any other circumstances, Jai probably would have made a move on him but he was not going to take advantage of Dane’s vulnerability. That wouldn’t be fair and besides, he wanted his sexual partner to want him as much as he wanted them.

* * * *

The following morning, he awoke to find that Dane was already awake. The other man was propped on his elbow, watching him with a tiny smile on his face. Jai pretended to still be asleep, keeping his eyes almost closed, occasionally spying through his lashes. He felt warm fingertips brush over his cheek.
A strangely tender move
, he thought, as the fingers traced over the tattoo he had on his upper arm, the touch light and careful. He had to open his eyes; he couldn’t pretend much longer. Faking a waking-up groan and stretch, he opened his eyes. Dane’s fingers left him as though they had touched hot metal.

“I’m sorry,” he said hastily.

Jai turned over to face him. “I didn’t mind,” he said.

When he reached out to push back a strand of Dane’s hair from his face, the other man froze, realising the move to be familiar.

“How long have you been awake?” he asked in a whisper, embarrassed.

“A few minutes,” Jai admitted, grinning. “I liked what you were doing so I kept still.”

Dane groaned and buried his face in the pillow, refusing to meet his eyes, until Jai finally, bodily, rolled him over onto his back.

“I should go,” he said, suddenly getting out of the bed.

Jai sighed. “The shower is through there,” he said, pointing. “I’ll give you a ride to work if you don’t mind waiting for me to get ready.”

* * * *

Jai put a hand on Dane’s arm, making him wait before going into the office. He could see the same nerves that he had displayed last night begin to show.

“Calm down,” he said. “What you told me last night stays between us, I promised you that.”

Dane closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Something had changed last night in the bar, or maybe when he finally confided in someone, but he just couldn’t do it any more. He couldn’t keep trawling bars for strangers; it just made him feel ill to think that he’d done it in the past. Now, what had previously been a simple act made him feel dirty inside. Talking to Jai had made him realise that he wanted something real, not just a quick fuck from strangers in alleys and bathrooms.

“Thanks,” he said. “For last night, I mean. I never meant to drop all my problems at your feet.”

“I didn’t mind; I’m glad you trusted me enough to talk to me.” Jai smiled. “If you want to come over for a chat and a beer after work, I’d be happy to listen.”

Dane nodded. “Maybe.” He followed Jai inside.

* * * *

When it finally came time to leave some seven hours later, Jai got his jacket from the hook near the door and dug his keys out of his pocket. Dane had been quiet all day, sitting at his desk and looking deep in thought.
Oh well, moment of truth
, he thought.

“Dane?” The man looked up. “Are we still on for that beer?”

He watched the indecision pass across Dane’s face as his eyes flicked to the other guards in the office. No one was paying him any attention; Ret was on the phone, Dex was reading his email and the others had already gone out to the car park. Jai zipped his jacket.

“Come on,” he said on his way out, confident that Dane would follow him.

Dane sat uneasily on the edge of the sofa as Jai handed him a bottle. He didn’t take a drink, just set it down on the table. Jai dropped into his chair, stretching his legs out in front of him. He was well aware of the fact that Dane was watching his every move from under his eyelashes as he threw his head back and chugged his beer. The attention his mate was giving him was making him hard, and he shifted slightly, his jeans becoming uncomfortably tight. He saw Dane’s gaze drop to his lap and his eyes widened.

Jai could smell his mate’s arousal, tinged with a bit of anxiety, but it was obvious that Dane wasn’t going to act upon it.

“Feel like watching a movie?” he asked.

Dane looked relieved and nodded. About halfway through, Jai smiled, seeing that the man had finally begun to relax. He was sitting back and chuckling as Bruce Willis got into yet another gun battle on the screen. After seeing the sadness in Dane recently, it was great to see him looking happy again.

When the DVD ended and they’d finished the pizza that had been delivered, Jai took the empty bottles into the kitchen. He noticed Dane following him, carrying the pizza box.

“I’ve enjoyed this,” Dane said. “I feel like I can be myself around you.”

Good
, Jai thought. He walked back to where Dane leaned against the refrigerator. There was a risk that he would scare Dane away, but he wanted to touch his mate, unable to keep off any longer. Closing the gap between them, he rested his body against Dane’s. Reaching up, he stroked his fingers down the side of Dane’s face, turning him until he could capture his mate’s mouth.

Dane’s lips parted, almost on instinct, and Jai flicked his tongue inside, tasting him. Dane began to kiss him back after a few seconds.
Damn, the man’s a good kisser
, Jai thought, unable to stop himself from pressing his hips forward to rub his stiff cock against Dane’s and wishing that they didn’t have layers of clothing in between them.

When they finally broke apart, they were both breathing hard, Dane’s lips looking swollen and pink from the attention they had received.

“I have wanted to do that since the day you arrived,” Jai told him.

For a split second, a smile flickered across Dane’s features, before he froze. It was as though he suddenly noticed how close they were. Dane pulled back from him, looking embarrassed as he hurried out of the room. With a sigh, Jai followed. For the entirety of the next DVD, Dane sat in silence and Jai could see the deep thought on his face, staring at the screen but not watching the movie.

“What you said last night, about being attracted to me, did you mean it?” Dane asked eventually.

“Yes, why?”

Dane shrugged his shoulders. “I thought…”

“I was being serious, Dane. You’re wolf; you can tell how much I want you.” Jai laughed softly. “You thought I was just saying it to make you feel better?”

Dane’s cheeks flushed. “No, I… Well, not really.”

“You’re adorable when you’re nervous,” Jai told him, making Dane blush even harder.

He didn’t want to push too far, seeing as Dane was finally seeming comfortable with his attentions, and so he fought back the urge to rip his mate’s clothes off and fuck him right there and then. Instead, he reached over to cup Dane’s cheek in his palm. To his delight, Dane leaned into the touch, not moving away as Jai leaned over to kiss him again.

Dane reached out hesitantly, unsure, his hand eventually settling on Jai’s thigh. It felt so good to be able to touch, not just the brief encounter from earlier. He shuffled closer on the couch, arms going around Dane to pull him closer. Jai smiled at the low, happy keening noises that Dane made.

All of his good intentions to take this slowly and not overwhelm Dane filtered away as his mind conjured up the image of Dane, naked and writhing as Jai fucked him.

He groaned at the thought. Tugging at the back of Dane’s shirt, he slipped his hands underneath, running them over the smooth, warm flesh below. Sliding his palms up Dane’s torso, he got the shirt over Dane’s head and dropped it on the floor. He licked his lips at the sight before him, leaning Dane back against the cushions and ducking his head to press his mouth to hollow at the base of Dane’s throat.

“I want you,” Jai told him. “Let me taste you.”

Dane’s fingers tightened on Jai’s leg.

“I’ll back off; just say the word,” Jai said, but Dane nodded.

“I-I want this.”

“Then let’s move this somewhere more comfortable.”

Jai led him into the bedroom, kicking the door shut. Removing the rest of Dane’s clothing, then his own, he paused for a minute to admire the tanned, toned body before him.
Beautiful
. It wasn’t a word he would usually associate with Dane; maybe it was his desire speaking but, in his eyes, Dane was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.