Out of the Game3 (24 page)

Chapter Forty-Two

As a big fan of movies, romantic comedies included, Alex realized he needed a grand gesture. Something heartfelt and slightly goofy that would melt Claire’s heart and get her to take him back. After some thought, he made a couple of phone calls and paid the pilot double for a rush job. Then, because he had some time to kill, he cleaned himself up, put on his best suit, and went to the florist and bought every pink flower they had. He also got a big bunch of pink balloons: the regular round rubber kind and several shiny metallic ones—a baby bottle, a stork, another generic bird, assorted hearts, and even a giraffe, and they all said “It’s a girl!” When he got back to his car, he almost couldn’t fit them all inside.

About twenty minutes before the airborne surprise was due to fly past CityView, he pulled into the parking garage and parked. He was struggling with the balloons when someone slapped him on the back.

“What the...?”

Hart Griffin stood there grinning with Jeremy, who was not.

Alex nodded at them. “Hey, guys. How’s it going?”

“You look good man. Real good,” Hart said. “How are the feet?”

Of course Hart had heard about his fit of destruction. Nothing was secret or sacred within the team.

“Fine.” He fought with the last three balloons and finally got them free. “You guys know if Claire is around?”

Hart and Jeremy glanced at each other as Alex closed the car door. “You don’t know?” Hart asked.

Fuck
. “Don’t know what?” Bile churned in his stomach while the blood drained from his face. “Is she okay? Did something happen?”

“Alex, she’s fine, she’s fine. Calm down. But she’s in labor. Word is the baby’ll be here real soon. We’re going to the hospital.”

Holy fuck. All the father-to-be scenes from thirty-odd years of movies and TV became real for him as it sunk in that she was having the fucking baby.

“Holy fuck. Holy fuck.” Alex looked around, confused. “There’s supposed to be a bag—a...a suitcase.”

Hart chuckled. “She has that. Her sister is with her.”

“Erin’s with her. That’s good. Shit.” He stared at the balloons stupidly, his mind blank.

Hart glanced at his partner then said to Alex, “You should come with us.”

“I...” Alex resisted. “I got flowers too. I won’t fit in your car with all that.”

“Yes, you will.”

“There’s a shitload of flowers,” Jeremy said, gathering them in his arms. “Probably a dozen bouquets.”

“The hospital’s not far. We’ll put them in the trunk.”

* * *

Feeling no pain because of the epidural anesthetic they’d given her a while ago, Claire was rubbing her swollen belly absentmindedly when she noticed Erin glance at the monitor beside the bed and frown.

“What? What is it?” Claire asked.

“Nothing.”

But a few minutes later, she did it again. Glance. Frown. Ponder. Shortly thereafter, Nurse Penny bustled in and went to the machine that was printing out a strip of paper like a stock-market ticker. Erin got up and looked at the readout.

“Hmm,” Penny said, glancing at Erin.

“Exactly.”

Penny tapped a finger on the machine thoughtfully. “We’ll keep an eye on it.”

“I figured.”

Nervous, Claire asked, “What’s going on? What exactly are you going to keep an eye on?”

Erin returned to her chair. “The baby’s heart rate dropped a couple of times, so something might be going on in there. But everything’s going to be fine, sis. It’s probably nothing. Fluctuations in the baby’s heart rate are perfectly normal, but if this becomes a problem—and I don’t think it will—all it means is that we’ll meet our little one a little sooner than we expected.”

* * *

Alex was sitting in the back of Hart’s car, smothered by balloons and more anxious than he’d ever been in his life.

On the short ride to the hospital, he tried to calm down. Women had babies every day of the week, he told himself. Claire was a healthy young woman. Nothing bad was going to happen. And if it did—and it probably wouldn’t—her
sister
worked for the hospital
in
the baby-delivering department, for shit’s sake. Erin would make damn sure Claire got the best of care.

But nothing bad was going to happen.

“The balloons are talking,” Hart said to Jeremy.

Alex cursed. He must have been talking to himself.

“I heard them,” Jeremy said. “They’re concerned about Claire, and it’s about time.”

“Fuck both of you,” Alex said. “She’s having a fucking baby. All sorts of shit could happen.”

“But it won’t,” Hart said. “Like you said.”

A thought occurred to Alex. “But she’s early. What if the baby’s...not done?”

Hart chuckled. “You mean premature?”

“Yeah. Maybe she didn’t have enough time. Maybe her insides aren’t fully formed yet.”

“Claire’s only two weeks out,” Jeremy said. “She’ll be fine. The baby’ll be fine.”

But Alex wasn’t so sure. He got a sick feeling in his stomach.

* * *

After getting directions from the woman at the information desk, they hustled to the maternity ward, eliciting sappy sighs from almost every female they passed because of the flowers and the giant flock of balloons. Unfortunately, Alex’s anxiety level rose with every step he took. His hands started to feel numb, like they weren’t getting any circulation.

He passed the balloon bouquet to Hart. “Do me a favor. Hold these.”

As the nurse’s station came into view, Alex quickened his step. “I need to find Claire Marzano.”

“Are you a relative?”

“I’m the father. Of the baby. Not of Claire.” He showed the wristband he’d been issued.

“She’s in 508.”

Alex turned to Hart and took the balloons back. “Jeremy, the flowers.” He opened his arm and Jeremy handed over the cellophane-wrapped bouquets.

There was some sort of commotion somewhere nearby.

“We’ll be in the waiting room, which is where?” Hart asked the nurse, eyebrows lifted.

“Down that hallway, sir. Cafeteria’s on the second floor.”

“Do I look okay?” Alex asked. He wanted to tug on his shirt sleeves, but his hands were full.

Hart grinned. “You look great.”

Chapter Forty-Three

After discussing it in whispered tones, the labor-and-delivery team had decided to move forward with an unscheduled C-section. There was some concern about the baby not getting enough oxygen and although the idea of them cutting into her was terrifying, if it meant saving her baby from possible brain damage, Claire was all for it.

“You’re going to be fine, sis,” Erin assured her, as people bustled around the bed. “These guys could do this in their sleep.”

Claire put her hands on her tummy protectively. “If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather they stayed awake.”

They rolled her out into the corridor. Her view was of the white ceiling panels, just like in the movies. She concentrated on taking deep breaths.
Everything is going to be fine.
Emergency C-sections happen everyday all across the country.
Erin’s here and everything is—

“CLAIRE!”

“Alex?” She rose up on her elbows and tried to look behind her. An orderly was there, blocking her view. “Alex!” she cried. She stuck her arm out, reaching for him, even though she didn’t know how close he was.

Rapid footsteps. “Claire! God damn it. Get out of my way.”

Suddenly, he was there. His beautiful face was right there. Her heart leapt.
He’d come.
He was here.
Sudden tears flowed into her hair and onto the pillow. “I can’t believe it. You came.”

“You bet your ass I came.” He matched his pace to that of the hospital staff. “I came as soon as I found out.”

“Who—”

Someone from the hospital interrupted. “Sir, we’re going into emergency surgery.”

Alex shook off the hand of the person who tried to detain him. “I’m the father.”

Claire hoped he wouldn’t cause a scene by decking someone.

“Are you okay?” he asked, grabbing her hand and squeezing it as they walked.

She squeezed back. “I’m scared.” As she said the words, the fear she’d been holding back burst through the gate and flooded her. She clutched Alex’s hand more fiercely.

“I’ll go with you. I’m going in with her,” he said, his scowl a definitive line in the sand.

“That’s fine, Alex,” Erin said. “You can go with her, but you have to get cleaned up and dressed in a mask and gown first. No exceptions. That’s for Claire and the baby’s safety.”

For a moment, he looked as if he might argue, but then exhaled hard. “Okay. Let’s make it fast.”

Claire bit her lip as Alex was led away and her delivery team continued down the hall to the operating room. It was a scary sterile-looking place.

“All right, Claire, we’re just about ready to get started.” Dr. Marcy Robles spoke in a calm, steady voice. “Are you ready to meet your daughter?”

“Yes.” Claire sounded squeaky. Where was Alex? And Erin? “Where’s my boyfriend?”

Dr. Robles looked around. “He’s—”

“He’s right here.” Alex entered the room with Erin close on his heels.

Relief washed over Claire, along with a wave of comfort and security. It muffled the fear that threatened whenever she remembered that any minute they were going slice her open with a scalpel. It was irrational, because there was little Alex could do if anything went wrong, but logical thinking wasn’t a skill she could utilize right now.

Alex came to stand near her head. “We’re going to be fine,” he said. “All of us.”

She locked gazes with him as they raised a drape near her chest area, effectively blocking her view of anything going on down below, a good thing, because she hadn’t wanted to watch.

Alex looked down at her, his gorgeous face wrinkled with lines of concern. “Just visualize the ideal outcome—us at Angels Landing. The three of us. You, me and the little one. Visualization is something we do in hockey. It helps with focus and attitude.”

She tried to breathe normally. “Okay. I think I can do that.”

“So tell me what you see.”

“We’re...we’re on the couch in the living room watching a DVD. You have the baby in the crook of your arm.”

“That’s good, Cream Puff. Where are you? Making a quiche?”

She smiled faintly. “No. I’m there with you. Your other arm is around my shoulders and it’s snowing outside, like it was at Christmas.”

She heard the clink of metal and the machines beeping.

“What are we watching?” Alex asked.

“Something happy. Uplifting.”

“What about
Toy Story
?” Someone suggested.

“That’s a good one,” Dr. Robles said from the other side of the drape.

“Or
Babe
, the one about the pig that talked?”

Claire saw Alex frown in irritation. “We’re watching
Elf
. That’s our favorite holiday movie,” she said.

“Yeah,
Elf
.” Alex smiled. “‘I think you’re really beautiful and I feel really warm when I’m around you,’” he quoted.

She would have smiled but she felt something strange going on below. They’d given her more anesthetic in her back and everything felt so removed, like it was happening to someone else. The stupid beeping monitors made her anxious.

“Hey,” he said, taking her hand. “Focus on me. How are you feeling as we watch
Elf
and cuddle the baby?”

“Unbelievably happy.” She gazed up into his brilliant blue eyes so filled with concern. “I feel content. Excited for the future.”

“It’s gonna happen. I’ll make it happen.”

“Promise?”

He leaned closer and his voice was strong and confident. “Promise.”

There was more movement beyond the drape. She heard suction noises and an unsettling snipping. She thought about Angels Landing again and tried to breathe calmly.

“You might feel some pressure now, sis,” Erin said from behind her mask.

As Alex glanced past the barrier, Claire felt it, pressure and then...a weird tugging.

Oh
,
God
,
please let my baby be all right.
Please let my baby be all right.

“It’s okay, Cream Puff,” Alex said. “You’re gonna be fine. Everything’s gonna be fine.” But his voice was tight and he looked pale.

She felt a sudden release of the pressure and Erin made a sound. Claire bit her lip, listening hard to the beeps of the machine.

“Look at that,” someone said in a neutral tone.

“Yep.”

“Let’s get that taken care of right now...”

Erin glanced at the monitors, then at Claire, then back at the monitors.

“Erin, what’s going on? What’s happening?”

“Oh, honey. It was a tiny bit scary for a second. The cord was wrapped around her neck, but they got it untangled. She’s beautiful. She’s so beautiful. And she’s absolutely fine.”

“She’s fine, Alex, she’s fine,” Claire said, crying, smiling, laughing.

He closed his eyes and pressed his masked cheek against hers. “Thank God.”

Chapter Forty-Four

Two hours later, things had settled down. Hart and Jeremy had left. Claire’s phone calls to family had been made. Even Erin had gone. She had Tim and Anders to take care of, after all, and she had been with Claire since morning.

Alex was alone with Claire for the first time in just over three weeks. The baby was asleep in her arms. He had successfully held the tiny infant for a good two minutes and had been scared the entire time, certain he was doing something wrong or that he’d trip and crush her in his fall, but in the end, when he handed her back to Claire, the baby had survived. She’d even stayed asleep. A fucking miracle.

It had been dicey there for a while. Funny how he could deal with blood during a game with no problem. A player could be gushing from his nose or have his cheek sliced open by a skate blade and have a steady stream of red dripping down his chin, but back in the operating room, he’d thought he was going to vomit. He’d only watched them with their hands and horrifying instruments in Claire’s body for a few seconds, but that had been long enough. There’d been so much blood. They kept mopping it up with these swaths of gauze and then suctioning it up with this metal thing. Fortunately, he’d returned to the room where he’d scrubbed up and managed to get himself together.

A nurse had come to check on him. “You okay?”

“I’m fine. I just need a minute.”

“Good. As soon as you’re ready, you should go back in. They’ll be almost done cleaning your daughter and you want to hold her, right?”

God no. The idea had scared the living shit out of him, but he’d done it. He’d manned up and fucking done it.

Claire’s soft voice brought him back to the present. “You’re so pensive,” she said.

He looked at her in the bed. Cradling the baby, she looked tired, but so beautiful, even after everything she’d gone through. Weird phenomenon, that.

“It’s been a big day.”

“I’ll say. You got out of the house.” A small smile appeared on her face. “You shaved. You dressed up. Did you find out I was in labor on the way to a meeting?”

“No.” He ran his hand down his tie, then looked around for his jacket. He didn’t remember taking it off, but it was there on the rocking chair in the corner. “I was on my way to your place.”

She met his gaze, her smile a ghost now.

Fuck. This was it. This was the big moment when he was supposed to unveil his grand cinematic gesture, except it was all ruined. When they got to the room, they found the balloons tied to an armchair and the flowers in plastic pitchers on various surfaces. A nice cheerful surprise, but without the wow factor he’d been aiming for. And the airplane towing the banner that said “I’m sorry, Claire. Please forgive me” was a bust. She never saw it.

He supposed it was all for the best anyway. He had come intending to offer himself on a platter, and this way her decision wouldn’t be swayed by the romance. You didn’t set your sights on a team hoping your top-notch gear dazzled them. You went onto the ice and did your best. You did your best every night, hoping the scouts saw potential and believed in you enough to take you on.

“Did Tim tell you I was in labor? He promised me he wouldn’t.”

Although he’d belatedly found a text from Tim doing just that, Alex shook his head. “Hart and Jeremy told me. I saw them in the parking garage.”

She gave a little nod. “And you were coming to see me because...?”

“I...” He swallowed hard. “I was coming to see if you’d take me back.”

Her expression didn’t change, but her arms tightened around the baby slightly.

“So, will you?” he asked, like an idiot.

“Just like that?” She sounded mad. “You think you can just get rid of your beard, put your suit on and that’s it?”

He shuffled his feet. “No.” He was tempted again to mention his grand gesture, but didn’t. “I thought it would help, though.”

She looked at him for a long moment, then sighed. “Honestly, it
is
nice to be able to see what you really look like again. And even though I chirped you about it, I’m glad you ventured out of the house. That’s a big step. Are you okay?”

“I got better the second I saw you again,” he said honestly. He took a tentative step forward. “Phlegmy called me. Offered me a job.”

“Alex, that’s wonderful. Doing what?” The baby stirred. Jiggling her arms slightly, Claire kissed her head, which was covered in a tiny pink hat.

“Color guy.” At her confused look, he explained. “You know Hank Hodgkins on TV?”

“Oh sure. He and Frank Blondel—Frank and Hank—call games for the Barracudas.”

“Hank is retiring. They found out he has lung cancer.”

She gasped, her brows drawn together with concern.

“They’re looking at me to replace him.”

Her eyes went wide. “Alex, oh my God. What a fantastic opportunity. I think you’d be perfect, but can you...” Her voice trailed off.

“Can I see well enough?”

She nodded.

“I think so, but I’m not sure.” He waved a hand on his right side. “This is the only area where I can’t see. Not good for hockey. Can’t see guys coming up on me. The puck either. But if I were analyzing the game from up high, I think I could do a good enough job.”

He turned and walked to the window. Below he could see a lit parking lot with a man walking toward his car.

“But,” he said, “it’s not hockey. I’d be nothing more than a glorified reporter, for shit’s sake. I’d be the guy the players don’t make eye contact with because they don’t want to talk to me.”

“No, you won’t.” She grabbed the bed remote and adjusted to a steeper angle. “If you’re taking Hank’s place, he doesn’t do interviews that much.”

“He doesn’t?”

She cocked her head. “You don’t really watch him, do you?”

“I...no. I guess not.” Players didn’t need to watch telecasts of the games.

“Hank only does interviews once in a while, and usually from up in the press box. He analyzes plays during the game and afterward and is one of the main reasons I know what I know about hockey. Admittedly, it isn’t much. I still couldn’t explain what icing is to save my life, but he really helps me understand the game.”

“You know what? I didn’t come here to talk about Phlegmy’s job offer because frankly, there’s another job I’m more interested in right now. It’s the only job I really want.”

“You got two job offers? Alex, that’s amazing. What’s the second one?”

“Well...” He gave her a sidelong glance. “It’s not a big money maker, but it would be the most fulfilling job I’ve ever had, bar none.”

Her eyes widened. “Is it for charity? Or the handicapped?”

“No.”

She put on her puzzled face. The devil in him liked stringing her along a little.

“I know it can’t be working with kids. You said you couldn’t do that.”

“No, the
team
said I couldn’t do that.”

“Then it
is
working with kids? Are you going to be a coach?”

He smiled. “I want to be.”

“Alex, I think you’d make a great coach. Honestly. All you have to do is watch your language. How old are the kids? Probably the older the better for you.”

“There’s only one kid. Right now, anyway.”

She didn’t get it at first but when it finally dawned on her, he went on, knowing this was his chance. “So, this job is going to be challenging, I know, and I’m going to have to work harder at it than I ever have in my entire life, but I can do it.”

The baby stirred, and Claire softly rocked her. “You don’t have much experience.”

“I know, I know. But I can learn.”

“There will be long hours, especially at the beginning. All-nighters. You’ll be on call 24/7.”

“Yeah. I’m good with that. I’m a night person.”

“It’ll be a dirty job too. Smelly.”

“I’ve spent most of my life in a hockey locker room. I can do smelly. But, really, all that won’t mean a thing because of who I’ll get to work with.” He took another hesitant step forward and abandoned the job metaphor. “I need you, Claire. I want us to be together again. I thought my life was in the crapper when I got hurt, but really that was nothing,
nothing
compared to when you walked out.”

“Alex, are you sure you’re ready? Because I can’t be your mom and the baby’s too.”

He winced. “I know. I know I was worthless and pathetic and I’m sorry about that. I wish I could say I’d do it differently if I had it to do again, but the honest truth is, I don’t think I could.” He swallowed back the lump in his throat. “I...hockey’s...hockey
was
my life. I was in a real bad place and I couldn’t get out of it.”

“It doesn’t have to be over,” she said. “Not if you take that position as color analyst.”

“I told you already, that other job doesn’t mean anything to me.” He paused. “The...the only position I want is next to you.”

“Oh, Alex.” Her smile was tight and her eyebrows drew together.

“I know,” he said quickly. “That was so corny, it makes me want to gag that I even said that, but it’s true. I want to be that couple who rides into the sunset.” He looked behind him to make sure no one was eavesdropping. “Because, all those romance movies? Where they discover they were meant for each other? I...I’ve always wanted that. Ever since I was a kid. There shouldn’t just be a dad, like I had.” Fuck. His voice cracked just now, but he couldn’t stop. “There shouldn’t just be a mom by herself. There should be two people, together. I want us to be together. I want to love and protect our girl and teach her everything she needs to know to survive in the big, bad world of men.”

Her lower lip quivered. He took that as a good sign and went on.

“I want to love and protect you too. God, I just need a chance. Another chance. I’m going to make mistakes. You know I will, but I’ll learn from them. I’ll keep trying because my life is shit without you in it. Even if some genie in the lamp came and gave me my eye back, my life would still be shit if you weren’t part of it. You and the baby. I need you both. I can’t be anything even near happy without you and that’s the God’s honest truth, so help me.”

He stopped talking. He was empty. He’d said everything he could think of to say. His eyes were trained on the wheels of the rolling tray table.

“Oh, Alex. I need you too.
We
need you.”

He looked up. Took a moment to absorb what she’d said, then lunged forward and kissed her. He couldn’t help himself. It wasn’t a very successful kiss, since she was smiling, then laughing, and the baby was there between them and she started to cry and he had to scramble to keep the IV apparatus from toppling over.

But it was enough to seal the deal.

“Shit. Shoot. Are you okay? Is the needle still in?”

He was making sure the IV thing was still dripping when she said, “I’m fine, I’m fine. But you’re not.” She held out a tissue.

His vision a little blurry, he stared at her. He touched his face.

Fuck.

“I don’t need that,” he said, frowning.

“But you’re—”

“I’m nothing. I’m fine. This is...this is emotional sweat.”

With laughter in her eyes, she pressed her lips together and turned her attention to their daughter who was red in the face and more than a little pissed off. As Claire soothed her, an expression of such perfect love on her face, Alex felt more “emotional sweat” leak out of his eyes. He took a picture with his phone so he could remember it forever because the sight filled him up like nothing else in the world. Not even hockey.