Out of The Blue (12 page)

I heard a faint knock at the bedroom door. I turned as I quickly pulled my t-shirt over my head.

“Robin, I’m so sorry. I’m prone to a bit of mindless sofa psychology sometimes.”

“Armchair psychology,” I corrected as I looked at her, framed by the doorway.

“What?”

“It’s armchair psychology … the saying,” I said, trying to keep the hurt from my voice as she moved towards me.

“But I don’t have an armchair. It’s all my Aunt Lou’s fault. She’s a psychologist and it rubs off on me sometimes when she talks about it.”

“Let me guess. You think that because my parents’ relationship wasn’t a good role model for me I am unable to form lasting relationships.”

“No … No, I don’t think that, Robin. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” I said, even though it wasn’t. I moved towards my discarded jeans. Stepping into them, I pulled them over my shorts.

“I honestly didn’t mean it. I … Where are you going?” she asked, eyeing me slipping on my trainers while I did up my belt.

“I’m going out to get some milk and a paper maybe,” I replied, remembering it was Saturday as I pulled on my oldest and favourite university hoodie. Saturday was usually the only day I bought a paper, even though I rarely had time to read it.

“Don’t go. We need to talk about this. Let me explain.” She had a worried look covering her face.

“I just need a minute. I’ll be back before you know it.” I tried to justify my exit. “Look, I’ll only be five minutes. Don’t freak out while I’m gone. I don’t want you rushing around throwing all your stuff in your bag so you can disappear before I get back. Please promise me that.”

“I promise. What am I meant to do? Are you coming back?”

I couldn’t quite tell if she was being serious or not. “Of course I am. I live here. Okay?” I relented. Taking her hand, I led her back out to the sofa. “I’ll give you something to occupy your time.” Stopping at the large desk I used to make some of the scaled, architectural landscape models, I opened a drawer and pulled out a thick colouring book. I handed it to Jamie before selecting a large wad of colouring pencils held together by an elastic band.

“You’re giving me colouring in to do!” She sounded a mixture of surprised and exasperated.

“It’s a good way of occupying yourself and relieving stress at the same time. It works, trust me,” I said with a little too much conviction.

She let go of my hand to flick through the book. “So I see. You’re nearly halfway through.”

“I know. I’ve coloured into the wee small hours on occasion.” I couldn’t bring myself to tell her it was just four weeks since I had bought the book, most of which I’d spent in York. 

“Can’t sleep?” she asked.

“Work stress,” I replied, hoping she wouldn’t take it any further. 

“Are these Marvel Superheroes?”

I smiled at the surprise in her voice. “I think so.” I didn’t know at all. It was just the best of a bad bunch on offer at the supermarket last month.

“Okay, I’ll give it a go,” she replied sceptically as she took the pencils from me.          

As I got into the lift I let out a long breath, although some of my desire to run away had subsided due to the need to prevent Jamie from doing the very same thing. I leant back against the back wall of the lift as I travelled down the five floors. Did I really have the right to be upset by Jamie’s words? She was right in many ways. I was a womaniser. ‘Was’ as in the past. She had a hold on me that I couldn’t explain, not even to myself let alone her.   

I had been a witness to Jamie’s vicious tongue on a couple of occasions, but I’d rarely been a target myself, except of course for our now-infamous first meeting on-site. But that had turned out pretty sweet in the end. Maybe this time it would, too … hopefully.   

I just needed to rest my eyes on something else that wasn’t Jamie or the inside of my flat. Entering the shop, I mindlessly picked up a thick Saturday paper before heading to the fridge for some milk. Heading back, I still wasn’t sure how I could explain myself any more to Jamie; we’d already talked about my lack of commitment in preference of short-term flings. It was obvious I was a commitment-phobe, but I was working on it. Couldn’t she see that? Did we really need to keep hashing over it? It just made me feel embarrassed and inadequate as a person.

Passing a coffee shop, I saw a way of extending my absence a little longer. Pulling out my phone, I dialled Jamie’s number. I figured if she was out of breath when she answered then she was on her way out. It took her three rings to answer. Shit!

“Hello. I’m just checking the time; you have about thirty seconds left of your allocated five minutes,” she answered in a chirpy voice.

“Oh, I see,” I laughed, relieved she still had her sense of humour. “Well, I was just phoning to ask if you wanted a hot chocolate or a coffee or something from Costa.”

“What are you having?”

“Earl Grey,” I said. It was by far my favourite tea variety. 

“I’ll have the same please.”

“Okay, I’ll be a few more minutes,” I confirmed before hanging up.

I selected a number of pastries along with the tea before returning to my flat. Why did it matter so much to me what she thought? It’s not like it wasn’t totally true, but I wanted her to think more of me. I wanted to at least think I was capable of change and I
had
changed even in the short time I had known her. I hadn’t actively sought out any attractive women I had come across for weeks. Jamie had me wrapped around her little finger and I liked it. I cared for her. No, that wasn’t enough; that’s what people say when they’re not really interested. I was falling in love with her and I wanted her to fall in love with me. I didn’t want her to think I wasn’t worthy of her. Jesus, were relationships always this rocky at the start? Surely it’s got to get better than this.  

I found Jamie sitting on the sofa where I left her, colouring pencil in hand.

“Hey, how’s it going?” I asked, avoiding her eyes.

“Pretty good. Thor is almost done and Spidey just needs his boots finishing off.”

Pulling up the coffee table, I dropped the paper on it before placing the cardboard tray of tea on top of it. I placed the bag of breakfast pastries next to them.

“What’s in there?” Jamie inquired.

I looked up, meeting her eyes for the first time since I’d got back. “Breakfast.”

She still had a concerned edge to her eyes, making me look away quickly. I glanced down at her handy work.

“I see you don’t follow convention when colouring in.” For a second I thought she might have been colour blind as Thor, as far as I knew, was not the colour of a Simpsons character.

“And how would you know? Have you seen any of the superhero films?” Her tone was playful.

I sat on the large ottoman opposite Jamie, our knees almost touching. “No. I generally look at the cover to see what their outfits look like,” I replied as I took the lids off the hot tea.

Jamie quickly closed the book, checking the front and back cover. “Cheater,” she replied.

“I think you mean observant or maybe thinking outside the box,” I said as I ripped open the paper bag, selecting a small apple Danish.

She placed the book to one side before resting her hands on my knees. “Rob … I really am sorry for what I said. I … I need to tell you something. This isn’t easy for me either. I …” 

My first thought was she’d come to her senses, finally realised I was no good for her. I put the remains of my Danish down, waiting for the bomb to drop, while she rubbed my knees with her thumbs. 

“I think … Well, I know why I’ve acted so badly since we bumped into Carrie. I used to know someone who looked and acted just like her. An ex. She cheated on me on more than one occasion and I was the last one to know as usual. It felt like she stamped all over my insides at the time.”

I moved my hands to cover hers. “I’m sorry, Jamie. I promise I have never been unfaithful in my life.”

She smiled, no doubt at my childish attempt to reassure her. It could be that I had never stayed with anyone long enough for it to be an issue, but now wasn’t the time to bring that up. Moving forward in her seat, she spread her legs, sitting astride me, cupping my face with her hands. My own hands went to her waist as she locked eyes with me.

“I know you’re not like that. I wouldn’t be here if I thought you were. It was just … I’m sorry, a bit of insecurity snuck up on me.”

I stretched up my hand, stroking the back of my fingers on the side of her face. “It’s okay.” We were both guilty of that on occasion.

Her eyes locked on mine. “Rob … this means something to me. I’m not a–”

I cut her off. “I know. It means something to me, too.” I moved forward, crushing our lips together. Her hand went to the back of my neck, pushing us closer as the kiss deepened. I pulled back, gasping a little; the heat from our actions had quickly got me hot and bothered, and I pulled at my hoodie. Jamie took the hint and pulled it up, taking my t-shirt with it, exposing my milky flesh. I felt her hands roam over my chest, fondling my breasts before attacking my jeans. She got to her feet, pulling me with her; her warm lips were on my nipples as she continued to grapple with my belt. I slipped off my trainers, kicking them away as my jeans fell to my knees.                                                        

“Wow! You look good in those boxers. It looks like you’re packing.” She finished with a giggle into her palm. 

I looked down, seeing my bunched-up shorts, joining in with her laughter. “And what do you know about packing?” I asked.

“I know plenty about packing.”

Her reply was confident, which only encouraged me more. “Really? Like what exactly?” I asked as I slipped my hands down her hips, pushing her shorts down, exposing her neatly trimmed, golden curls.

“Enough!” She held a curious expression on her face as she flicked up her eyebrows before capturing my lips. I made a mental note that this was something to explore at a later date. I sat back down on the ottoman, pulling her with me. She quickly stepped out of her shorts before straddling my lap. I pulled her tight towards me, feeling her mound brush against my stomach. I wanted to be around her and inside her all at once.

Slipping my hand between us, I pushed my fingers through her silky wet folds, releasing the scent of her arousal. I felt her breathing increase as she continued to kiss me while I circled her hardening clit several times before venturing lower, stoking her shaft. Slowly slipping a finger inside, she adjusted her hips, pushing towards me. The heat emanating from her was unreal as I added a second finger. Jamie groaned with satisfaction, making my clit twitch all on its own. Jamie rocked her hips as I continued to thrust inside her. The upset of the morning seemed to evaporate from my mind as I focused every cell of my being on satisfying Jamie. In the haze of emotions that were running through my brain, I realised how satisfying it felt to make love to someone, be inside someone you really cared for. Unlike many of the women I had previously slept with, although there had been obvious attraction there had never been the connection I felt with Jamie. 

I managed to voice my thoughts as I kissed her breasts. “You feel incredible.”

Her groaning increased as she continued to rock her hips in time with my movements. Our short breaths were in sync as I felt the first of many spasms begin to clutch at my fingers; her body jerked against mine as she came. I held her close to me as she continued to rock her hips gently, her body still gripping my fingers, until she pulled back to look down at me, a shy smile on her face. Her hands cupped the sides of my face and her lips covered mine as I slowly extracted my fingers. Her warm breath whispered words in my ear.

“I need you to lay down for me.”  

She leant back, hitching up one eyebrow before detaching herself from me. Her offered hand pulled me up onto my feet. She slipped off my now-damp shorts before pushing me down on the end of the sofa. Her warm body pressed against mine and settled on top of me, her lips caressing my neck, traveling down to my breasts. I felt her hot lips suck at my nipples before she ventured further down, her knees pushing my thighs apart as she moved. Jamie grasped my hips, pulling me to her. I craned my neck to see her. I could just see the top of her head as she blew warm breath over my now-hard clit and used her fingers to spread my lips apart. The anticipation was killing me until she pushed her hot, stiff tongue deep inside. I heard a throaty groan bounce around the room; it took me a few seconds to realise it came from me.    

Jamie moaned in reply as she focused her attentions higher up. Her mouth was hot as it sucked me fully into her mouth. I gasped and cried out as I tried to hold on, enjoying the feeling of her tongue swirling around my clit. I wanted it to last forever. At the same time I thrust towards her, seeking release. My body gave up the fight as I tipped over the edge, arching my back off the sofa as I came. Jamie was relentless as my body continued to judder under her ministrations.

Backing away from her, I sat up as much as I could. Taking her arm, I pulled her towards me. Jamie wiped her mouth on the back of her other hand as she locked eyes with me. I wanted to kiss those lips that had just been on my most delicate area. She knelt between my thighs on the sofa as I guided her lips to mine, pulling her back down with me, my salty juices on her lips, her warm body on top of me. It felt perfect.