Out of the Ashes (47 page)

“Yep?” I repeated in disbelief. “You cannot speak in monosyllables in order to provide an explanation,” I informed him, putting my hands on my hips. “Buying Lexie something like, I don’t know, a new pair of shoes without talking to me is fine. Go for it. Only if you get some for me too—size nine, by the way,” I sidetracked myself. “A car, however, or anything that has a motor or a price tag over a couple hundred bucks,
that
denotes a discussion. You can’t just prance around and go on a car buying spree,” I proclaimed, waving my hands. My fresh, new, cast-less hands.

Zane’s hands went to my hips, pushing my hands from them. Even when we were arguing, which wasn’t often, he needed full contact. I both loved and hated this. I hated it, because more often than not, it distracted me and I lost my train of thought. I loved it because it was Zane touching me. What’s not to love
?

“Wildcat,” he started with an even tone. “Buying one car does not constitute a spree. Lex needed a car. A safe, reliable car. So I got her one,” he said, no nonsense. “And when in fuck’s name have I set foot in any place that would sell shoes for you and Lexie?” he grumbled, eyes twinkling slightly. “’cept maybe the Harley store, and tell you what, Wildcat,” he murmured, pulling me tighter to his body. “Wouldn’t mind seeing you in motorcycle boots. Nothing but the boots,” he continued, nuzzling my neck.

I let out a little breath, my hands involuntarily going around his neck. His mouth moved closer to mine, and his hand squeezed the cheek of my ass. Right on the doorstep for the world to see. And I didn’t even care. But I knew the moment he made it to my mouth it would be over. My mind would be overcome by his body on mine and I’d let him buy Lexie a thousand cars.

I pulled back slightly, frowning. “Don’t distract me like that,” I scolded, slightly breathless. “I need to finish.”

Zane sighed. “Nothing to finish, babe. Car’s bought. It’s done. Can’t undo it,” he declared.

I pursed my lips. He was right.

“You are mine,” he continued, tracing my jaw lightly. “Lexie is mine. I take care of both my girls.”

As much as such a statement warmed my heart, I couldn’t help but protest. “But I can afford it now, with Steve and Ava’s money. That’s what they would have wanted,” I told him, ignoring the stab of hurt that came with mentioning their names.

“For years, babe, I’ve had nothing to spend my money on. No one to take care of. So I’ve amassed a bit of it,” he explained.

I knew he wasn’t destitute, considering he had demanded to take over the mortgage when he moved in. I had already paid off the mortgage with a chunk of Steve and Ava’s money, along with a good amount of my student loan. I had foiled him at that turn. But he did insist on paying for pretty much everything, much to my disdain.

“Imagine how good it feels to not only have someone to take care of,” he paused. “Two someones. When I didn’t think I’d have anyone ever again. Let me buy Lexie a fuckin’ car,” he demanded. “I’ll spend every dime I have on the two of you and be the happiest mother fucker in the world. Don’t need something as trivial as dollars and cents when I’m a goddamn billionaire, holding half my fortune in my arms right now. Other half just drove away,” he near growled.

I didn’t say anything; I was too busy trying not to cry from his words. He may not speak much, but he knew exactly what to say when he did.

He searched my face, obviously realizing he had won the argument. “Now that’s sorted, can I fuck you now?” he did growl this time.

It was safe to say our sex life hadn’t suffered at all. It took him a while to understand that he didn’t have to make careful love to me, like he had when I was recovering from my wounds, courtesy of Sid. Not that I didn’t like the soft, gentle touches of a man who completely owned my entire soul. My whole, unbroken, unfractured soul. But I wanted the rough, brutal sex back in addition to the new beautiful, gentle stuff. I was tracing lines on the colorful tattoos that decorated his chest and arms, ones I had free rein to look at any time I wanted. And now I got to do it in the daylight, considering Lexie was at school. I could skivvy off work from some afternoon delight since I owned the joint, and Zane had flexible hours. Plus, he liked not having to be quiet when he made love to me. Or more accurately, he liked me not having to be quiet.

“What made you get them all in color?” I asked quietly, my eyes on the phoenix on his chest, emerging out of bright red and orange flames.

I felt Zane’s head move as he turned his gaze to me. There was a small pause. “Had enough dark on the inside of my body, didn’t need it covering my outside too,” he said by explanation.

My heart hurt just a tiny bit at this declaration. At the pain the man I loved lived with. He survived through. Right from being a kid whose dad beat him up, to a man who lost everything. Then found it.

“It’s beautiful,” I murmured. My eyes moved to him. “You’re beautiful. This,” I trailed again with my fingers. “Is a reflection of what’s inside. Beauty,” I told him sincerely. “I love the outside of you almost as much as I love the inside of you. The light and the dark,” I clarified.

I put my finger to his mouth when he moved me and made to speak. “Not done, big guy,” I told him. “I may not have shown it with the mastery of a withering glare and near muteness—I kind of went the other way—but I was broken too. In a way I didn’t think anyone could ever fix. Except Lexie, who gave me a reason to smile every day. To love every day.” I grinned at him. “Then a burly biker came into my life and scorched me with his withering glare. Little did I know he’d take every broken piece out of the ashes and put me back together,” I whispered on the end.

Zane yanked me fully on top of him, my naked body brushing his in a delightful way.

“You do not,” he clipped, holding me tightly, “get to say shit like that when I can’t fuck you senseless afterwards.”

Despite the fact he had just made love to me and given me two orgasms, getting “fucked senseless” sounded pretty damned good to me.

I kissed his chest. “Honey, I’m healed.” I waved my cast-free hand to help my point. “In more ways than one,” I continued quietly
.

He seemed to have a battle of the wills. Then, thankfully, he decided on the best option. He flipped me over; it was rough, but nothing like he would have done had my arm not been in a cast. His body hovered over mine.

“You do know,” he said, lips inches from mine. “I love you more than anything on this fuckin’ earth.”

I gazed into the bottomless depths of his now unshuttered eyes. “Yeah, honey. To the moon,” I whispered.

Then there were no more words, on the account of being fucked senseless.

Despite being married, living together, and kind of raising Lexie together, we hadn’t talked kids. I say kind of, because she was pretty much done being raised. She was done at fricking
twelve
. Unicorn kid. What can I say? She was like a reliable car. Just needed to keep it gassed, keep an eye on it and maintain it once in a while. The raising part was done. She was grown, much to my horror.

So we more than anything just enjoyed the family we had created. I basked in true unconditional happiness for once in my life, without the shadow of Sid haunting me. He had mysteriously disappeared when the police transported him from the house to the jail. When I had questioned Zane on this while in the hospital, he had given me a hard look. “He’s gone,” was his answer.

“Gone? Like sunning himself on a beach in Mexico type gone or resting in a shallow grave off an abandoned highway type gone?” I asked in an even tone.

Zane had looked at me for a long while after I asked this. His eyes roved over my arm and my face in silence.

I had resigned myself to the fact I’d never get an answer until I had reasonable motor skills and could sex torture him out of it. It was a thing. Gwen had informed me of its effectiveness.

“Gone in a way that you and Lexie never have to live on the same earth he wastes oxygen on ever again,” he told my eyes finally, his tone flat.

His voice was slightly guarded, as if I would have some sort of hysterical reaction to the man I loved basically informing me he had killed the father of my child, who had beaten and almost killed me and haunted my life for sixteen years.

“Okay,” I said.

He raised an eyebrow. It was the most animated surprised reaction I had ever seen on him.

So kids hadn’t reached the table yet. Not that I didn’t want them. I did. Having Lexie was the most beautiful thing to ever happen to me. Having Zane’s child, I knew would be nothing short of amazing. I wasn’t exactly a spring chicken so I couldn’t wait forever. I also knew I had to give my husband time. Time to adjust to having us permanently without the prospect of losing us. Which I knew haunted him still. So I waited until it seemed like Mother Nature had other plans. I didn’t want to go informing him just yet—although Lexie and her big mouth would do it for me if I wasn’t careful—which was how I found myself at the doctor. Just to be sure.

Then that was how I found myself leaving the doctors with a little picture of that looked like weird modern art, but was one of the most important little pictures I had ever held. The one of the six-week-old little peanut growing in my stomach. One I loved as much as I did Lexie already.

I had been studying the picture so intently on my way to the car I didn’t even hear my phone ring the first time.

“Mia.” Zane’s voice was weird when I answered on the second ring, like he knew something. It wasn’t possible. I knew he was hot and the enforcer of whatever for the club, which made him a crazy bad ass with many abilities. I did not think those abilities came with pregnancy sensing powers. I did know they came with crazy sperm though, considering I was not the only Old Lady to get preggers while on the pill.

“In addition to O Luscious One, that is one of the titles I answer to,” I said with false seriousness, ignoring the potential baby sensing ability.

He did not find my phone humor amusing on this day. “Where are you?” he clipped with impatience.

“Where am I?” I repeated, trying to stall. I didn’t want to lie to my husband but I didn’t exactly want to tell him over the phone where I was. Because then he’d get all alpha and demand to know why I was at the doctor, and I was having trouble finding believable alternatives. Hence the stall.

“Mia,” he said in warning.

I sighed. “Jeez Louise, calm down. I’m just getting into my car,” I told him truthfully.

“Where’s the car?” he continued.

“In a parking lot,” I hedged.

“Fuck’s sake, Mia. Tell me why you’re at the fuckin’ doctor.” His voice broke with impatience, and also worry.

I straightened. “Why did you waste all that time asking me where I was if you already knew?” I asked on a sharp tone. “Furthermore, how did you know where I was? Do you have a bug in my car?” I bent down and felt below the seat, beginning my search. I so wouldn’t put it past him.

“One of the boys saw your car. Wanted to know why you wouldn’t tell me you were going. Now I wanna know why you were lying.” His voice was hard. “You okay?” he added softly.

I straightened and abandoned my search. “Damn you, Betty, for being so gosh darned cute and memorable,” I chastised my car.

“Fuck,” Zane muttered with impatience. “I can never have any conversation of importance with you over the phone,” he declared. “Get your ass to the club. Now,” he commanded.