Out of the Ashes (35 page)

He’d never forget Mia’s words that day in the car. The words she spoke to her daughter, trying to soothe her broken soul. What she had done was soothe Bull’s. Not completely; it would always be like a break that never healed right, but in that moment, she brought the sunshine in to the last dark corner of his soul. He loved her even more in that moment than he ever had. He loved her. Had for a while. He’d never admit it to himself. He couldn’t. He thought by doing that he’d be betraying
her
, dishonoring her memory somehow. Now he knew, he fuckin’ knew she’d want him to be happy. Have his family.

He’d never be happy like Cade was, like Brock was. Just wasn’t in him to show that easy affection his brothers did. Not anymore. He knew it got to Mia, hurt her. He struggled with that. No, battled with that. So he did his best to show her when it was just them, when he had a moment, how much she meant to him. How much she owned his soul.

But seeing her, seeing Lexie with his brothers at his club, taking to the life so well, he felt conflicted. He felt proud to give them something they had lacked, something Mia had lacked. A family. It ate him up inside every time he thought about the detached way she had told him about her lowlife parents. Killed him thinking someone like Mia hadn’t been given love. Then he almost burst with pride seeing what it had done to her. Hadn’t ruined her, broke her. It had made her determined to give her girl the best life she could, be the best mom he had ever seen.

Something had niggled at the back of his mind when she had told him about Lexie’s dad. He had been meaning to dig up where the fucker was hiding so he could put his mind at ease, but he hadn’t had time. Shit was busy with the club. Just because they turned legit didn’t mean they lost money. They fuckin’ gained it. They diversified, adapted. Which meant he was doing a lot of shit. Not all of it was always strictly legal, but it wasn’t exactly running guns either. With that came the other edge of the sword, having Mia and Lexie around the club. He loved his club, loved his brothers, but watching Mia with them sometimes made him feel like he was watching a ghost. Mia wasn’t like
her
. Nothing like her. Different in every way, apart from the golden hair on her head. But he felt the same as he did before. Happy, part of a family. Way he felt before his life got ruined forever. So he was waiting. Bracing. There was something that told him to be on guard. Something was coming. Brothers felt it too. May have had something to do with the whispers that the Lost Knights weren’t heeding their warning, that they were up to their old shit again. The plan was to check it out after the party, put their minds at ease.

Little did he know the party was going to be the thing to blow it all to shit. Take him back to darkness.

The day was amazing. The sun shining on the clubhouse, coupled with multiple children tearing around the joint, made it seem less of a biker hangout and totally more of a picnic. Not that I would ever tell Zane that. Or maybe I would, just to tease him. To see if I could turn that little twitch in the corner of his mouth he got sometimes around me and Lexie into an actual, honest to goodness smile. It was my mission to make him laugh. Not having laughter in your life was a sad thing indeed. From someone who laughed a lot, I knew it was the best medicine.

Various people turned out for the party, surprisingly, not all bikers. A beautiful African American man wearing the most
to die for
Alexander McQueen tee arrived. I had spoken to him briefly, met his partner, who was equally beautiful in a more rugged and hot guy way, similar to Zane and Cade in their broody silent type look. I was pleasantly surprised that the openly gay couple didn’t ruffle any feathers with the decidedly masculine crowd. There was also yet another hot dark-skinned man with the most kick ass tribal tattoo snaking up his arm. I had briefly been introduced to him and almost melted at his accent. It was the same as Gwen’s, as he was a friend from New Zealand, but I had never heard it on a man. Totally sexy. As was the way his eyes followed Lucy around the party, although she spent a good amount of time glaring at him.

Zane was, as usual, in a man huddle with a couple of other bikers, eyes flickering over to me every now and then. He had yet to openly acknowledge me, although Lexie had near pounced on him when we arrived. He had spoken to her quietly and tugged one of the pigtails she had in her hair. My girl looked cute. In her usual boho rock chick apparel, she was wearing a baby doll lace dress with a white lace tee layered underneath. She had a multitude of necklaces slung around her neck and high heeled slouchy cowboy boots. I, on the other hand, had gone for a pure white sundress, strapless and tight across the boobs with a full skirt than finished above my knees.

“Mia?” Gwen called.

She was sitting on Cade’s knee while he nuzzled her neck. I swallowed the lump in my chest that had me wishing Zane could show such easy affection.

“Yeah hon?” I called back with a forced smile.

“Could you pretty please go and make sure all the plugs are switched on for Lex? I promised I would, but a certain
biker
is not letting me off his lap.” She glared at her husband who didn’t look bothered in the slightest.

I laughed. “Sure.”

Honestly, I was happy to get away from the PDAs. I was feeling more than a little depleted that my own “Old Man” hadn’t even kissed me hello. I thought I looked okay. Great, actually. With the amount of effort I went to I thought at least I’d get a blazing look. But no. “Mr. Broody and Handsome can’t manage that,” I complained to myself, checking all the wires.

“Can’t manage what, Wildcat?” a deep voice grated, hands seizing me by the waist.

I was whipped around and my body pressed to a hard one. Zane’s eyes were now blazing. “A kiss hello,” I half snapped at him, but I wasn’t really successful, considering my voice was slightly breathy from his look, his touch.

Zane frowned at me slightly then pressed his mouth to mine. He attacked me with a desperation I could barely survive. I was slammed against the wall as his fingers dug into my hair. The sounds of the party drowned out and I wrapped my leg around his waist, needing friction, contact. His hand moved to cup my bare ass as my dress rode up.

The clearing of a masculine voice had him instantly release me, yanking my dress down, half covering me with his body.

Lucky stood there grinning like a crazy person. “The band sent me—thought there was something wrong with the wiring, considering it was taking
two
people to sort,” he informed us lightly. “Should I go and tell them it’ll be another,” he glanced at Zane, “ten minutes?”

Zane growled slightly at the innuendo and I half giggled. “No,” I said quickly, putting my hand on Zane’s shoulder. “We’re coming now. It’s sorted.”

Lucky raised a brow. “Really? That quickly?”

Zane’s face darkened and he took a step forward. Lucky’s grin didn’t even flicker, the weirdo. I quickly clutched Zane’s hand, pulling slightly. “Let’s go, can’t miss the first set,” I said quickly, directing him past Lucky. Lucky actually winked at me as I dragged Zane past him. I couldn’t help but laugh. Zane wasn’t feeling the jollies.

“This is Lexie’s first time playing at a club gathering. How about we don’t have her witness you shooting one of your brothers?” I teased lightly as we walked back through to the party. “How about you actually pretend to be happy instead?” My tone was still light but there was a truth to the words. Half the time Lexie and I were at anything to do with the club, Zane’s mouth was set in a grim line and he snapped at most people, his eyes on us the entire time.

He stopped at the entrance to the clubhouse, the crowd of people visible from our spot. His hands moved to cup my face, his eyes searching mine. “I am happy,” he clipped, his expression and tone confusing his words. His eyes flickered to the gathering, the soft strums of a guitar carrying as Lexie stepped up to the microphone on the little stage they had erected. He looked back to me. “That’s the fuckin’ problem,” he muttered to my eyes. He then pressed a firm kiss to my head, released me and strode off, leaving me standing there, confused as ever.

He made his way through the crowd, moving to sit on a table far at the end of the stage. My gaze flickered to Cade, whose grey eyes were watching me. Even from the distance I was at I could feel the intensity. He gave me what I could only call a concerned look. I plastered a fake smile on my face and beamed at him before walking to the party to enjoy the rest of the day. Little did I know in a few minutes the whole thing would turn into a nightmare.

Lexie and the band were awesome. They played a great mix of songs that were totally appropriate for a biker group while still not comprising “their sound”—Sam’s words not mine. Killian sat at one of the picnic tables closest to the group, his eyes fixated on Lexie in that intense way that niggled in the back of my mind. Her eyes routinely found his when she was singing, a warm smile directed at him. The songs they were playing were decidedly upbeat and a few people had even gotten up to dance. Surprisingly, some of the scruffier looking bikers were among them, easy smiles on their faces. This may have had something to do with the beers in their hands. Amy had dragged a reluctant Brock up, and even though he shook his head the entire time, his face was decorated with a grin and he held his wife tight. Gwen had attempted the same thing, but Cade’s face had turned firm and he instead yanked her back into his lap and was currently whispering in her ear. She had a lazy smile on her face that made me think she wasn’t that pissed that she wasn’t tearing up the dance floor.

When Lexie started strumming “You and I” by Ingrid Michaelson I had to get up, considering it was the most cheerful song on earth and suited the day perfectly. I had been at first confused they played such a song at all, but by the way Lexie winked at Gwen at the start, I knew it was a request. I was happy for it too; that song rocked. I dragged Gage up with me, the friendly and hot biker that I had chatted to a couple of times and was fond of. He was more than happy to comply, swinging me around with no worries about his man card being comprised at dancing to such a song. The air was light with laughter and I couldn’t feel more at ease. Gage pulled me to his waist.

“Think you might have to go to your man now, babe. Don’t really need my arms to be yanked off,” he murmured in my ear, nodding his head to Zane who was glaring daggers at us.

I laughed easily. “Well, I better go and save your limbs,” I told him. “Thanks for the dance,” I called over my shoulder.

He winked. “Anytime.”

And then everything exploded. There was a huge bang and everyone stopped suddenly, even the band jumped, the music dying out. The man right in front of me jerked, a red spray erupting from his body. I was momentarily confused and there were a couple of screams as gunshots rang out. My eyes locked on Zane, who was at the other end of the party. Something was in his eyes at that moment, something I had never seen. Fear. I watched his mouth move as if he was shouting at me, but my ears seemed to be ringing. He started to sprint toward me while I was rooted to the spot. Sound came back in a rush as I watched him run through the hail of gunfire in horror.