Out of Oblivion (3 page)

He glanced at his watch. "While I'd love to tell you about myself, I need to meet with a client."

It was eleven at night. What kind of client would he be meeting so late?

"Would you like to continue this conversation over coffee tomorrow evening?" Kurt asked.

"I'm not sure that would be a good idea." Even if I was more comfortable with him, he had to be at least ten years older than me. I wasn't into older guys.

"Why?"

"I don't want to date while I'm in school. It's too much of a distraction." That sounded like a plausible excuse.

"Well, what if it's not a date. Would it be okay to go out with a friend?"

"If it's just as friends, you wouldn't mind if I brought Alexis along?"

He stiffened, but the smile never left his face. "Sure, that would be fine. There's a cafe on the corner of Bancks Street and Mortin Drive. Why don't you meet me there at seven?"

"Okay, I'm familiar the place." My friends and I went there often.

"It was nice to meet you, Haleigh," he said and left.

Dominic walked in as Kurt left. He watched until I heard the front door close, then joined me on the sofa.

"I hope you don't think badly of me, Haleigh, but I overheard some of your conversation with Kurt."

"You should be a spy instead of a web designer," I suggested. "Or maybe you are a spy and that's your cover."

Dominic's lips pressed into a tight grin, and I wondered if I had offended him.

"I'm kidding."

"It's not that. We've just met, and I have no right to say this, but I'm concerned."

"About what?"

"I don't think you should go out with Kurt, Haleigh."

Was this concern or jealousy? Dominic showed little interest in me until he realized Kurt had asked me to go to coffee with him. But if he had been listening to the conversation, he'd know we were only going out as friends to talk.

"Alexis is coming with me. It's not even a date."

"I know, but he's new to the area, and I've heard stories about him."

I rolled my eyes. "Hasn't anyone told you, you shouldn't believe everything you hear?"

"I know. I'm sorry, but he gives me a bad feeling. I saw the way you looked at him at first. You can't deny you sensed it too."

How could he see that? "It'll be fine. We probably won't see each other again after that anyway. I'm not interested in him. I'm just being polite."

Dominic sighed. "Being polite does not require you to go out to coffee with someone, or to do anything for them at all, Haleigh."

Why did he care so much? If he asked me out, I would reconsider seeing Kurt, but Dominic had no interest in me. At least Kurt had shown interest in me and set aside the BDSM stuff for me. I doubted Dominic would do the same. No. I wasn't being fair. He had offered me an out when he saw I was uncomfortable, and he wasn't forcing the BDSM topic down my throat, but still. It made little sense he'd care who I went out with. Like he said, he didn't know me. We weren't even friends. It could have been his need to boss people around.

"Look, Dominic. I appreciate the warning, but I can take care of myself. I have no interest in getting involved with Kurt."

Dominic nodded. "Just be careful, okay?"

"Yeah, I will."

Chapter
3

Alexis looked awful when she woke the next morning. Her face was pale with dark circles around her eyes and a red nose like Rudolph. Every time she spoke she had a coughing fit, and when she did manage a few words, her voice was nasally. I considered not going to meet with Kurt that evening, but I there was no way of contacting him to cancel. It would be rude to stand him up with no explanation. So I figured I would go for one cup of coffee and leave.

Kurt sat waiting for me when I arrived at the small cafe. Suddenly my gut twisted in knots, which tempted me to leave, but he turned and spotted me. I took a deep breath and took a seat across from him at the little table.

"Hello, Haleigh. It's good to see you again. Where is Alexis? You said you'd be inviting her."

"She's sick, so I came alone."

"I'm glad you did." He grinned. "Well, I suppose it's my turn to tell you about myself. My taste in movies is similar to yours. I'm eclectic in my music choices as well. I don't read as often as I should, but I enjoy it occasionally."

We compared more of our likes and dislikes until the conversation became more serious. He asked about my goals and dreams in life.

"I just want to find a good paying job doing what I love. Not very ambitious, but then I'm not a very ambitious person. What about you?"

He took a breath and said nothing for a moment. "I guess you can say I enjoy helping people discover their potential. People have a tendency to hide their true potentials."

"So, you think I'm hiding my true potential?"

Kurt grinned. "Your potential is hidden deep down. Perhaps one day I could help you bring it to the surface."

"I would like that," I told him. Even my parents had accused me of underestimating my abilities. It was nice to finally meet another person who recognized that trait in me. "So what do you do for a living?"

He was quiet for a moment. "I help women with their relationship problems."

"Like a counselor or psychologist?"

"Not exactly. I help them in more practical ways."

What did that mean? I started to ask him, but he cut me off.

"Would you like another cup of coffee?"

"Sure," I said, suddenly unsure about him again as he headed to the counter to order our drinks. I brushed away the unease. He said he helped people. Did it matter how he did it? Besides, he seemed like a nice guy. I didn't even understand why I found him creepy to begin with. It might have been my imagination. When I considered what Dominic had said about the rumors, it annoyed me. What kind of man set out to discredit someone he had met once?

I grinned when Kurt returned, setting the fresh cup of coffee in front of me. I was glad that Dominic hadn't asked me out now. Not that I would be jumping into anything with Kurt. I still wanted to be friends, but I didn't want to be with someone who spread rumors either. I'd had enough of that in my life.

"You have a beautiful smile," Kurt said.

I blushed. "Thanks."

"You shouldn't be embarrassed when someone pays you a compliment. You should accept it gracefully."

I nodded, though I had no idea what he meant.

"I like you a lot Haleigh. It's not often I meet a woman who is beautiful and smart. Someone I can have an intelligent conversations with. I'd love to see you again."

"As friends?"

Kurt frowned. "What exactly do you have against dating?"

"Well, nothing. It's just, I don't know."

"You know, but you don't want to tell me."

He was right. "I don't want to seem rude or make you feel bad."

"I promise not to be offended if you're honest with me."

I sighed. "Okay. I'm not comfortable dating older men."

"That's it?" Kurt said, grinning. "So if age wasn't a factor, you'd date me?"

"I guess."

He leaned back in his chair taking a sip of his coffee. "You guess?"

"You're a nice guy. I'd consider it, but it's not something I'd jump into."

He considered that for a moment. "So what's the problem with older men?"

"I don't know. I guess it feels weird."

"How old are you?"

"Nineteen."

"So there is a nine year difference between us. Is that really much older?"

I shrugged.

"Well, how about this? I'm only asking for a date. It's not a marriage proposal. How about you try it? If it feels too weird, we can just be friends."

"Okay." That sounded reasonable enough.

We spent the rest of the evening talking about my art. I didn't understand how passionate I was about it until that moment. It's possible he possessed a talent for helping people discover their hidden potential.

*****

It was after eleven when I returned to the dorm. I hoped Alexis was still awake. Just barely, but she perked up when she saw me walk through the door.

"How did it go?" she asked.

"It was amazing. I can't believe I had any reservations about him at all."

"You like him, don't you?"

"I think I do," I said, then frowned. "I still kind of like Dominic too, but he confuses me, and I'm not entirely convinced he's a nice guy."

"Jason thinks he's great. He looks up to him and Brant."

"Well, even if he is, it doesn't matter. He's not interested in me. He only seems interested in bossing me around."

"Well, he is a Dominant. They do tend to be bossy."

"Kurt isn't though. He seemed that way at first, but when I put my foot down about not being interested in BDSM stuff, he stopped. He respected me enough to back off."

"And yet, you still think you like Dominic too? So who do you like more?"

"I don't know. Kurt is older and more mature, and at least he's showing an interest in me. I mean he asked about my art and everything, but I'm more attracted to Dominic. Attraction isn't everything though."

"Sounds like you're trying to convince yourself, and you haven't answered my question. Who do you like more?"

I sighed. "I just don't know. Dominic, I guess, but what's the point in pursuing someone who only seems interested in telling me who I shouldn't be going on dates with. He hasn't asked me out. He hasn't even tried to get to know me."

"So what makes you think he wasn't interested?"

I shrugged.

"Well, from the way he was looking at you, especially when you were reading the rules, he seemed interested, but he might not be as vocal about it as Kurt. He might be shy."

I snorted and sat next to Alexis on her bed. "What do you mean, the way he was looking at me?"

"You really are blind sometimes, Haleigh. He couldn't take his eyes off you."

"Well, it's possible he looked away when I looked at him?"

She rolled her eyes. "Or you didn't notice 'cause you have issues with making eye contact with the guys you like. So what was he saying about Kurt?"

"Just that he heard bad things about him, and I should be careful."

"That doesn't sound so horrible. Sounds like he cares."

I shrugged. "Possibly, but he knows I'm not interested in the lifestyle. That might be a factor. He might prefer submissive women. If that's the case it wouldn't matter if he was attracted to me. It would never happen. At least Kurt doesn't seem to care."

"Well, if you really like Dominic, why wouldn't you be willing to try being submissive to him?"

What was it with people trying to convince me to try that stuff? "Not you too."

"What?"

"Kurt was trying to convince me I should try it too. He compared it to trying a new food and not turning your nose up to it because it looked or smelled bad."

"Well, he's kind of right. What would it hurt?"

I groaned. "Nothing about what I saw last night appealed to me, Alexis. In fact, it made me kind of nauseous."

"You should learn more about it before you judge."

"I'm not judging. I'm just not interested, and at least Kurt accepted that and didn't keep pushing. If it's what Dominic wants, I don't see why I should pursue it. We would never be happy together."

Alexis shrugged and pulled her blankets back up to her neck. "If you say so. I mean nothing against Kurt, but he seems 'old'. Dominic seems more fun, but hey. It's your life."

I groaned and went to my bed. All the excitement of my night with Kurt had faded, and I was confused again about what I wanted. I liked Dominic, and Kurt wasn't my type. But my mom had once told me when people have a "type" it's usually based on a preconceived notion about who their ideal mate would be. I wasn't sure I had any preconceived notions, but it was possible I did.

*****

Alexis, the party animal, was turning 20 and, of course, she couldn't go without a huge celebration. Unfortunately, our dorm was too small, but she had recently started dating a guy who had a fairly large apartment. Jason offered to host her birthday party. As a hater of all things to do with parties, I spent most of my time hiding in Jason's kitchen. It wasn't an open floor plan apartment, so the walls separated me from the commotion across the hall. The only time I had to be social was when someone came looking for more food or drinks.

Jason came in a few times. The first time he tried to coax me into joining the fun, but I told him I had a headache, so he offered me some Tylenol, which I accepted to keep up appearances. The next few times he seemed like he wanted to talk to me, but someone was always with him, so he smiled and left after he got what he needed. He came back the last time alone, and he gazed at me hesitantly.

"Is something wrong, Jason?"

"Nothing's wrong." He sighed. "Look, I've got a message for you from Dominic, and I'm not sure how you'll take it."

Why did that not surprise me? "So just tell me. I can pretty much guess."

"He said he's learned some pretty nasty stuff about Kurt and suggests you don't see him again. He said to tell you it's not rumors this time."

"Why couldn't he tell me himself?" He might have known I liked him and wanted to avoid me, so he wouldn't have to turn me down face to face.

Jason shrugged. "I don't know. I just promised to pass on the message."

I had been going back and forth in my mind between Dominic and Kurt and, in the end, Kurt still seemed the more logical choice. I thought I had given up on any hope of ever having anything with Dominic, so it surprised me it hurt so much he would send a message through his cousin rather than meet me himself. It was obvious, now, he wasn't interested. I fought back the tears stinging my eyes.

"Well, you can tell Dominic thanks for the warning, but it's none of his business."

Jason's shoulder's sagged. "Sorry, Haleigh. Don't hate the messenger, okay?"

I forced a smile. He didn't deserve my sudden foul mood. After he rejoined the party, I didn't want to be there anymore. I slithered my way through the crowd and slipped out the door. The walk back to the dorm would take well over an hour, but it would help me think.

What was so wrong with me he wanted nothing to do with me? I mean was it really about the BDSM or was it something else? Asking Jason about it would be too weird. He might think I was getting too personal. Besides, it would have gotten back to Dominic. I didn't get why he couldn't even take the time to see me himself if he was so concerned about my well-being, and more importantly, why did he care? It wasn't as if he knew me well enough to care what happened.

Well, okay. It might have been the kind of human to human caring people extend to strangers, but if that was it, he was going above and beyond. If Kurt was such a bad guy, it would become obvious as I learned more about him. The first warning was—well, it was weird, but sort of understandable, but to keep coming back with more warnings. Dominic may have been the creepy one.

No, he wasn't creepy, and that was the problem. He was perfect. Well, almost perfect. My mom was right. I had an image of my perfect man. It was Dominic, but he was untouchable. It made me want to throw something. Why couldn't I be his vision of perfection? Why couldn't he like me even if I wasn't interested in BDSM?

By the time I made it to the dorm, the tears were flowing freely. I curled up in my bed and let go. How was it possible to experience such loss over someone I had just met? I saw him once and only spoke to him a couple times for a few minutes each time. He was a stranger. I was crying for a stranger as though we had broken up after a long term relationship. This was so ridiculous and irrational, but instead of my logic making me feel better, I cried harder.

I had never been this attracted to a guy before, so that might have been a factor. I've met gorgeous guys, but I'd never been drawn to them the way I was with Dominic. And I never pursued a guy before either, especially the cute ones. I couldn't imagine what they'd see in me, so I dated the guys who showed interest in me whether I had an interest in them or not, and I usually didn't.

It was the rejection. That's why I felt so awful. If he had told me he wasn't interested, I could have handled that. Especially if he told me he was only interested in dating submissive women. But being avoided because he wanted nothing to do with me made me wonder if he was repulsed by me or something. He was so nice and polite at his brother's house, but it's possible he didn't want to seem rude. Maybe the real reason he sent me up to watch the movie wasn't for my benefit, but because he didn't want me around.