Out of Oblivion (13 page)

I shrugged.

"You should at least talk to him about it. Just because you talk about it, doesn't mean you have to commit to anything, and at least you'll know what he would expect from you. He may even be willing to do a trial period to see if it works for you."

"I hadn't thought of that." A trial was something I could do. I hoped it was something Dominic would consider, especially after what he'd been through in the past.

Chapter
19

That evening at dinner, before I chickened out, I told Dominic I needed to talk to him.

He gazed at me curiously. "I'm all ears."

The temptation to make a joke about his statement was hard to ignore, but I knew he would accuse me of stalling, and he would be right. If I didn't say it now, I never would. "I want to give the Dominance and submission dynamic a try, but just a trial period to see if I can handle it."

Dominic swallowed a mouthful of food, his expression showing none of what he might be thinking. "What made you change your mind?"

I repeated what I told Bekka that afternoon. He chewed another mouthful of food while he considered my words.

"It's important you know I take this seriously. If you want to test the waters first I'm fine with that, but it will be as though we were in a regular twenty-four-seven dynamic. I would expect you to follow my rules, and if you don't, I will punish you. Even during the trial."

"What do you mean punished?" I asked, shuddering.

"I use corporal punishment with submissives, but I use only my hand or a belt on the bum. Nothing more than that."

I sat back and sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"I couldn't handle that."

"The only time I would punish you is if you broke rules even after being warned, and you would receive plenty of warning. And the most I will ever leave you with, if punishment became necessary, is a few welts that would disappear within a few hours. I don't like to leave marks that last for days. You would also know the count beforehand, so you would know when it would end. It wouldn't be a violent beating like what Kurt did to you. I would never hit you in anger, and if you were to panic or anything during a punishment, I would stop immediately to calm you. Punishment in this kind of dynamic isn't about hurting or terrorizing you. It's about reinforcing the rules."

"So if I freaked out, you wouldn't punish me anymore?"

"That's not what I said, but I would start off more slowly and reassure you to help you overcome your fear."

I nodded and gazed off toward the patio. I still wasn't sure I could go through with it, but if his rules weren't too bad maybe it wouldn't be a problem. If I had no trouble following his rules, there would never be a reason to punish me. "So what exactly would the rules be?"

"I would make specific rules as we went along because they would be based on what you need. In the beginning I would simply expect you to defer to me in all things."

"So I would have no say in anything?"

"Of course you would. I would always ask for your thoughts and input, but once I make a decision, I would expect you to accept it without argument. You would have to trust I am making the best decision for us and our relationship. In this kind of dynamic, the Dominant is responsible for the submissive's welfare. I would always make sure you're caring for yourself and not putting yourself at unnecessary risk. I would help you achieve your goals and dreams."

"Basically, what you've already been doing?"

Dominic grinned. "Essentially, but in this case, there would be no arguing once I've decided on a course of action. I would expect you to follow through even if you disagreed with me."

"I thought you said a Dominant isn't supposed to force a submissive to do something they don't want to do."

"I meant that regarding things you would never do willingly. Things that are against your own morals or would put you in harm's way. But even within our dynamic you could always end it. I would respect your decision to go back to how things have been with us, but as long as you are willing to remain submissive to me, you would do as I say. I would never expect you to do something you didn't want though, Haleigh. This is about you allowing me to take charge within our relationship, so I can guide you in your personal growth."

I had to admit that didn't sound too horrible. It would be hard being told what to do, but it wouldn't hurt to try it. Especially if it got rid of this feeling I'd been having. "Okay, but just for a week to start."

"I want you to commit to at least a month. The first couple of weeks will be difficult and giving yourself a week is setting yourself up for failure. You would give up because you won't have had the time to experience the joys of submission."

"Like I've been enjoying it in the bedroom?"

Dominic grinned. "Exactly like that."

"Okay, one month then."

"The first thing I want you to do is call me 'Sir' when we're alone together or with others in the lifestyle."

I giggled. "That would be too weird. Why would I have to do that?"

"It will help put you in the right mindset and remind you I'm in charge. It's also a way to show respect."

"Like in the military when you call an officer 'Sir'?"

"Yes. Also, there is another thing that's been eating at me, but I haven't brought it up before now. Since you are my submissive for at least the next month, I want to bring it to your attention. You have a tendency to stay up too late reading most nights. It's one thing to do it on a weekend, but I've noticed there are mornings when you have to drag yourself out of bed because you've had only a few hours' sleep. It's not good for your health or grades, so it has to stop. From this point on, lights out is at ten o'clock on school nights."

I frowned. I never had a bedtime. Not even when I was a kid.

"This is your only warning about this rule, Haleigh. I expect you to follow it. It's not that difficult or unreasonable."

What had I gotten myself into? Sure it was reasonable, but I hated stopping in the middle of a chapter. What if it ended in a place where I had to know what would happen next? I wouldn't be able to sleep with those thoughts running through my head. I doubted Dominic would find it an acceptable excuse though. He might even suggest not reading at all on school nights if it was a problem. No thanks.

*****

I didn't mean to do it, but I was so caught up in my book that night I lost track of time. When I heard Dominic coming up the stairs, I glanced at my clock. It was after eleven. I dropped my Kindle on the floor, but left it as I fumbled with the lamp switch. I wasn't quick enough. He opened the door before I could turn it off.

Dominic didn't look at all happy to see me awake. "What's going on?"

I bit my lip, then reached down to pick up my Kindle and set it on the bedside table. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment.

"Are you trying to test me?"

My jaw dropped. "No. I lost track of time."

"Do I need to remind you how serious I am about this kind of dynamic? If you're serious about trying it, then I expect you to do better."

He was so angry. My heart sank.

"I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"I know it won't. You had one warning with this rule, Haleigh. I'll have to punish you, and I'm also giving you a warning about calling me 'Sir'. You seem to avoid it."

I barely heard the last part of what he said. My mind was reeling over the thought of being punished. "It was an accident. I won't forget again. I swear tomorrow I'll be asleep by ten."

Dominic sat on the bed, taking my hand in his. "If I don't punish you now, you will never take me seriously."

"I will. I'll take you very seriously."

"Good. Come stand over here," he said, pointing to the floor next to him.

"Please, Dom—Sir."

"I've decided, Haleigh. Do not argue."

I couldn't move. My head spun, and I felt like I would lose my dinner. Dominic pulled me into his arms. I resisted at first, but he spoke softly, assuring me I was safe. I held onto him tightly as I rode out the wave of panic that overcame me. When I gazed at him, it surprised me to see he didn't look angry. In fact, he seemed sad and disappointed. It tugged at my heart. I buried my face in his chest, sobbing. Dominic kissed the top of my head and held me until my tears ran out.

"Are you still going to punish me?"

"Yes, but we will go slowly. I know you're scared."

He repositioned me so I was over his lap with my torso and head on the bed, while my feet rested on the floor. I hugged a pillow to my chest and buried my face in it. I wanted this to be over.

"Remember, Haleigh. It's not my intention to harm you. I will spank you ten times."

"It'll hurt."

"Yes."

I sobbed again. Dominic rubbed my back until I was calm. Then he lifted my nightshirt and pulled down my panties. I glanced at him, and his face looked stricken. It never occurred to me he might dislike punishing me. Kurt enjoyed it and often put me in a position to fail so he would have an excuse. Fresh tears fell, but this time they were more for Dominic. I let him down and put him in this position when he warned me it would happen.

"Put your hands above your head and leave them there."

I did as he instructed.

"Why are you being punished, Haleigh?"

"Because I read passed ten."

"It disappoints me you would break a rule the same night you asked to give this dynamic a try."

"I'm really sorry."

"Hush. I don't want you talking during a punishment unless I ask you a direct question. I'm going to start now. Do not move, understand?"

"Yes."

"Yes, what, Haleigh?"

"Yes, Sir."

"This is your final warning. You will receive one smack every time you forget after this."

I cried out when his hand connected with my bum. Every instinct told me to reach around and protect my sensitive backside, but I remembered his warning not to move. I didn't want to make this punishment worse than it was. Another hard smack followed and my leg came up involuntarily. Dominic said nothing. He pushed it down and put his leg over mine, holding them in place. Two more hard smacks. I couldn't do this. I shielded myself with my hand, hoping he would decide I had enough. Instead, he caught my arm and pinned it to my lower back.

"What do you think you can do to keep this from happening again?"

I sniffed. "I don't know."

"Think about it while I finish your punishment."

The last six came in fast succession. I was sobbing by the time he finished and found it difficult to think about anything except my throbbing backside. Worse, the entire experience left me completely humiliated. My parents never spanked me when I was a kid. Dominic pulled me into a seated position on his lap and held me close.

"So, what do you think you can do?"

"I don't know."

"Then you need to spend time thinking about it. Until you figure it out, you're banned from reading before bed. Understand?"

I nodded, my head still buried in his chest.

"Lie on your belly," he told me.

I held him tighter while I choked on my sobs.

"Hush. It's okay, baby. I want to rub lotion on your backside. It will help soothe it."

I sighed in relief. It felt good. When he finished, he turned out the lights, pulling me into his arm. He held me until I fell asleep, and I swore I'd never give him a reason to punish me again.

*****

The following morning when my alarm went off, I groaned. I felt drained after the previous night. I slapped the button, turning off my alarm and fell back onto my pillow.

"You're going to school, Haleigh."

"I know. I'm just waking up."

"It's hard to wake up with your eyes closed."

"I hit the snooze in case I fall asleep again."

Dominic gave my bum a smack. I sat up quickly. It didn't hurt as much as it did the night before, but it shocked me.

"What was that for?"

"One. You are arguing with me, and two. You're forgetting something again."

"Oh, sorry, Sir."

"Good. Now get up and get ready for school."

*****

I groaned and climbed out of bed. It was a week before I was allowed to read again. By the time I figured out a solution, I wanted to spank myself. It was so simple, I couldn't believe I hadn't considered it earlier. All I had to do was set an alarm for ten so I wouldn't forget if I got too involved in my reading.

Dominic had been right about the first two weeks being difficult. By the end of the second week, I was dreading the fact I still had two more to go. It was difficult to remember the rules, especially when he added a new one every day. He punished me for something every few days. They were simple rules though and revolved around me taking better care of myself. I didn't realize how many bad habits I developed until he pointed them out.

Dominic wanted me exercising more. When I argued I got plenty of exercise walking to my classes every day, he told me it wasn't enough. He set up an exercise routine that mirrored his. I had to do laps in the pool every morning and three times a week he had me lifting weights in his workout room.

Finally, after the second week, things became easier. Once my routines and rules were second nature, following them wasn't a problem. In fact, it was nice having that time together in the mornings before I left for school and he started work. I felt fitter, I had more energy, and I even found it easier to focus while in school. I wasn't so tired all the time. My assignments seemed simpler, and I was getting them finished a lot faster. Homework didn't take forever anymore, and I had time for other things. On top of it all, my confidence levels increased. Instead of worrying about whether I could make a career from graphic design, I considered my options. What kind of work did I want to do? Did I want to work for someone else or work for myself like Dominic?