Out of Nowhere (16 page)

Kirsten couldn’t stop laughing. She’d subsided to a giggle, but it went on and on.

‘I’m a princess!’ she said. ‘Me! A princess! That’s ridiculous!’

Simon seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. From the look on his face they were difficult ones.

‘Do you know,’ he said to the driver, ‘you can’t imagine how interesting I’ve found your story. It tied up with all sorts of things I’ve thought about for more than fifty years now. That’s nothing to you, I know, but to us it’s a very long time.’

‘Are you sorry you’ll forget the tale, then?’

‘No, I’m not. Because it disturbed me too. People say I have a dim view of my own species. But it turns out that maybe I’ve been overestimating it.’

‘All creatures have childhoods,’ the driver said. ‘All species too. And children are not always wise – how could they be? They’re new things under the sun. But adults have no such excuse.’

‘Tell me one thing,’ Simon said, ‘do the Tellene have a god?’

The driver looked puzzled.

‘I have to admit,’ he said, ‘I’ve never really understood that
particular human idea. If I have a god – in so far as I understand the word – then you could say my god is information. It’s here all around you – in the table and the chairs, in the grass and the sky. But your species doesn’t seem to care much for information. Half the time you don’t even notice it. I know you have notions of what you call ‘heaven’. In fact, some of those notions make ‘heaven’ sound more than a little like Nowhere. But to us heaven is
here
– in this world full of wonders. Heaven is
now
. And you humans control it, or you think you do, but you don’t seem to
care
for it much. We find that …
odd
.’

‘Odd, yes. That’s one word for it.’

Simon looked with narrowed eyes at the affable other.

‘You must hate us very much,’ he said. ‘We took your whole world. Literally. How you must long for our destruction!’

‘Not at all! That would be foolish. You are children of this world, as we all are. What you do with yourselves is your business. Long ago you interfered with us. We chose our response, and there it ended. We live with reality, not dreams. We’re a practical people.’

‘That you are, my friend. That you certainly are.’

‘But I still don’t know what happened to us!’ Stephen complained. ‘Why is all this happening
now
?’

‘It has something to do with those Sug creatures,’ Kirsten said.

‘Indeed,’ the driver said. ‘Things like this usually do. You two have been here since your birth. You were due to … to come
home
, for want of a better word. Not a real home, but all we have. Our halting site. Some of our creatures were due to
come back with you – we call them creatures, even though they’re alive only in the broadest sense of that word. We send such creatures often – far more often than we come ourselves. They stay here awhile and they just … have experiences. They live as humans, they take jobs, sometimes they marry – they do all the things that humans do. Nobody here notices.

‘The Sug seem to have concluded at some point that sending our young and our creatures here was giving us some kind of advantage over them. Don’t ask me how they came to that conclusion, I don’t pretend to understand their minds. Maybe they were just bored – it can’t be a very interesting existence when you do nothing but sulk. At any rate, they thought they’d interfere with this particular operation. It was meant to be a sort of game – as I’ve told you, we have always competed through something like one-upmanship.

‘The Sug decided to ruin the homecoming of our most important children – you two. They sent an agent with a hunting pack of their own creatures to attack you and destroy your companions. You came to these mountains, which had always been important to us. Just as you prepared to leave, your party was ambushed – not physically, but effectively. A psychic attack humans would call it. Your own minds were confused, those of your creature companions were … destroyed, really. Completely short-circuited. But the Sug operation went wrong. Disastrously wrong. They’d miscalculated badly. They’d stayed away too long, so they had no idea how much the atmosphere here had been changed by humans in the mill- ennia since they’d last been here. The non-physical atmosphere, I mean.’

‘The non-physical atmosphere,’ Simon repeated, shaking his head with a bewildered air.

‘Yes. It’s as real to us as the physical one and, if anything, your species has polluted it even more. The Sug agent was damaged as soon as he arrived. The creatures they’d sent were outmoded – old models unsuited to this time. In the middle of their assault they went berserk, and turned on the agent when he showed up. It was the spiritual air that did it.’

‘The spiritual air,’ Simon muttered, shaking his head. But there was humour as well as bewilderment in his tone.

‘It was a very dangerous situation,’ the driver said. ‘The Sug creatures were hunters and they were out of control, that made them very, very dangerous – for humans, too. It was as though some of your own ancestors had arrived back here among you. Dyed-in-the-wool killers, knowing no sanity at all. We knew at once that there was something wrong. So we sealed the area and cleared it.’

‘You cleared it,’ Simon said. ‘Just like that.’

‘Yes. Just like that. We’d never done such a thing before, not since we’d left, but it proved to be simple enough. But we couldn’t find our missing people by our normal means – so we had to come in person. Outside the barrier your human authorities are going frantic, but there’s no way they can get in. We really didn’t want to do such a thing – it’s a bit
show-offish
for our taste. Flashy, you know? But we couldn’t take any risks with the Sug creatures – they were just too dangerous.’

‘You didn’t clear us,’ Simon said. ‘Why?’

‘I honestly don’t know. Maybe in our hurry we overlooked you.’

Simon looked at him with some disbelief, but before he could say anything Stephen interrupted.

‘What I don’t understand,’ he said, ‘is why you … why
we
stay in this Nowhere
now
. Maybe humanity was savage once. But surely not nowadays. The Tellene could contact the United Nations, or–’

He stopped. All three were looking at him sceptically.

‘That would be madness,’ Simon said. ‘There are too many Philips in the world, liable to turn savage in the face of anything they don’t understand. Too many savages under the skin. And a lot of them are in positions of power, not buried in some mountain monastery.’

‘Yes,’ the driver said. ‘I must admit this Philip did rouse a kind of sad nostalgia in me. I’ve seen many like him among your people in my time.’

Stephen blushed. He could see his own foolishness when it was pointed out to him.

‘So, what now?’ Kirsten asked.

‘Well,’ the driver said, ‘my friend will have been clearing up. The various bodies have dissolved.’

‘It’s funny,’ Simon said. ‘All this violence, and then you tell me nobody really died at all – apart from that man, that … Sug in the chapel. And from what you say, his death didn’t matter very much to him.’

‘Not at all. It was less than an inconvenience.’

‘Less than an inconvenience,’ Simon said. ‘Yes. I see.’

Again he shook his head.

‘I think,’ he said gravely, ‘that I need some fresh air. I’m going out to the courtyard for a while. To think about your
story.’

And without looking back, he went out. He looked like a man who was weighed down with a great many thoughts. Stephen watched him as he went.

‘He’s bewildered,’ he said. ‘So am I.’

Light footsteps sounded in the corridor. The second Tellene came in. He had put his shirt and jacket on, and was knotting his thin knitted tie. He smiled at them broadly.

‘I see you’ve been telling Brother Simon a story,’ he said to his friend. ‘I could tell by the expression on his face. Or maybe I should say the absence of one.’

The driver chuckled.

‘He’s a good man,’ he said. ‘Have you tidied up?’

‘Yes. We’re all clear.’

‘And the abbot?’

‘As good as new. Better, in fact.’

The driver looked at Stephen and Kirsten.

‘Well, folks,’ he said, ‘we’ve a car to leave back at a house, and then we can go. Are you ready?’

‘Not really,’ Stephen said. ‘But as ready as I’ll ever be.’

‘
I’m
ready,’ Kirsten said, ‘this is going to be the
real
adventure!’

Her eyes were shining. It’s not every day, Stephen
supposed
, that you find out you’re a princess – even if it’s the princess of Nowhere.

The driver took his cup over to a sink and rinsed it. He upturned it and put it carefully down on the wooden drying rack.

‘Let’s go so,’ he said.

So they did.

In the fading afternoon light a dusty car drove down an unkempt country road. In the front seat were two ordinary-looking men in dark suits, in the back seat a boy and a girl. They’d been driving for some time in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Though not all of them knew it, each in their own way was thinking about exactly the same thing: the events of the previous days in this part of the world.

Stephen wasn’t comfortable in his mind. The long explanation he’d heard had raised at least as many questions as it had answered, and they were all questions he badly wanted to ask. But he didn’t know where to start or, in some cases, how to ask at all.

He looked at Kirsten, who had a dreamy smile on her face. Still pleased at the notion of being a princess, he supposed. The Princess of Nowhere. And as for himself … he leaned forward suddenly and spoke to the men in the front seat.

‘Here,’ he said, ‘if Kirsten is a princess, does that mean that she and I are … does that make me …’

But he didn’t know how to go on. Both men smiled.

‘A prince?’ said the younger one.

‘Well, yes, I suppose so. Is that what I am?’

The two men exchanged a meaningful glance.

‘Not exactly,’ the driver said. ‘You’ll understand in a little while.’

‘But I want to know
now
.’

The younger man sniggered. The older one laughed outright. Stephen was annoyed. What had he said?

‘Look,’ the driver said patiently. ‘I told Brother Simon what I felt he could understand. But there’s a bit more than that to this story. Not
much
more – but he’d have thought it a great deal. In your condition you might think so too. And I didn’t want to risk upsetting you.’

Stephen worried when he heard that.

‘Well you
have
upset me now,’ he said.

The driver gave a rueful shake of his head.

‘You’d think I’d know better,’ he said. ‘You may have forgotten who you are, but you’re still the very same.’

Again the two men exchanged glances. But both of them were smiling now, amused. Stephen felt their amusement was at his expense, and he didn’t like it one bit.

‘Are you going to share the big joke or not?’ he demanded.

‘You may as well tell him,’ the younger man said. ‘Other-wise we’ll have this all the way back.’

‘Right,’ Stephen said. ‘I woke up two days ago knowing that I was a human, that I was a boy and that my name was Stephen – three simple things. Now I know I’m not human, and I’ll be very surprised if my name’s Stephen, and– ’

‘And you’re not a boy,’ the driver finished in a conversational tone. He caught sight of Stephen in the rear-view mirror, and he grinned. Stephen’s face had gone blank. His mouth hung open.

‘I …’ he began. ‘You …’

He turned to Kirsten, who was staring at him with a face almost as shocked as his own.

‘I’m a
girl
?’

‘Not exactly.’

‘Stop talking in riddles!’ A terrible thought struck him. A sick feeling grew in his stomach. ‘Are you telling me,’ he said, suddenly frantic, ‘that I’m one of your …
creatures
? Some kind of …
tape-recorder
?’

‘Lord no,’ the driver said. ‘But we’re not human, don’t forget. It’s … it’s hard to explain to you. With humans – with most animal species nowadays – you have males and females, right?’

‘Of course!’

‘There’s no “of course” about it. It’s just an arrangement, like any other arrangement in nature. Plants can be male and female. Snails, now … well that gets
very
complicated. But with the Sug and the Tellene, well …’

He trailed off. Stephen was almost hopping in his seat with impatience.

‘The old races were very different from each other,’ the driver said. ‘They had very different views of the world. Haven’t you wondered how they managed to share a small island without murdering each other, good manners or not?’

‘I thought they were … you know …
enlightened
or something.’

The driver snorted.

‘
Enlightened
! They had a much more practical reason, child. They had only one gender apiece. They needed each other to
continue their races.’

Stephen’s mouth was sagging open again.

‘They what?’ he asked in a small voice.

‘The Sug, do you see, were all male,’ the driver said. ‘Or as close to male as makes no difference. The Tellene were ‘female’. I thought you might have guessed from my story – who else except men could spend ten thousand years
sulking
?’

Stephen was floundering badly now.

‘But …’ he said. ‘But … the bodies … ours … I mean …’

‘Tut! Bodies are just things we make. Male bodies are simpler, easier to make, and males have things better among humans. So we generally come here as males, that’s all.’

‘But then why is Kirsten a girl?’

‘Our children grow up here. As I told Simon, we want them to have memories. We want them to have memories appropriate to their actual nature. So they all grow as girls.’

‘But then I …’

‘You grew as a girl when you were first here.’

‘
First
? But then I …’ He looked suddenly blank again as he realised what the driver was getting at.

‘How
old
am I?’

The driver considered. ‘Oh, let’s see. There was myself and my mother … that time in Babylon … hmmm.’ He smiled at Stephen in the mirror. ‘Roughly speaking, I’d say you’re about three thousand years old. Give or take two hundred years.’

‘And
who
am I? I thought I must be Kirsten’s brother. Am I her
sister
?’

Again the two men laughed. Again the driver shook his head from side to side.

‘We Tellene do believe in keeping business in the family,’ he said. ‘But Kirsten has only one sister.’

He nodded at the younger man beside him.

‘
This
is Kirsten’s sister,’ he said.

‘So you’re, what, her mother?’

‘No, I’m her aunt. But we do like our children to grow up with a parent nearby. We think it’s healthier.’ Even as he spoke, the driver was slowing the car. He stopped it and turned around in his seat, facing Stephen squarely. ‘I don’t want you to worry,’ he said. ‘There’s really no need. But I can see that this is a bit of a surprise to you.’

‘A
bit
of a–’ Stephen stopped. He noticed that the driver was trying very hard not to laugh. Maybe Kirsten was trying too, but in her case it wasn’t working. She’d begun to titter as her mind leaped ahead to the conclusion of the driver’s news.

‘
You’re
Kirsten’s mother,’ the driver said. ‘My little sister.’

Stephen felt as though someone had put a spell on him, a freezing spell, as the Sug in the chapel had done to Philip, or as the driver had briefly done to Stephen himself in the courtyard. He sat there like a statue. Around him in the car the other three, looking at him, began to laugh helplessly. For a moment Stephen teetered on the edge of anger. And then, with a sort of mental shrug, he joined in the laughter. The driver restarted the car. Stephen sat back in his seat. Kirsten put her arm through his. When he looked at her she was smiling at him.

‘Well, Mum,’ Kirsten said, ‘here we are again, I suppose.’

‘I suppose,’ Stephen agreed.

‘I’m glad we’re related,’ Kirsten said. ‘I’ve got to like you in
the past few days.’

Stephen sighed.

‘Oh well,’ he said, ‘you know what they say.’

‘What?’

‘A girl’s best friend is her mother.’

Kirsten giggled again. So did he – or she – or it.

If it matters.