Out of Left Field (28 page)

“
I missed you.” He shook his head. “I didn’t realize how crazy it would make me to leave you for a few days.”

She reached across the table and put her hand on his arm. “I know what you mean.”

“
I meant what I said, Frankie.” He placed a hand over hers. “I love you.” His expression grew somber, his eyes grave as they sought hers. “The only other woman I ever loved went away to college and ended up marrying a guy she met while I was still hanging out in high school. She broke my heart, and I vowed I would never love again.”

He rubbed a hand over the goose bumps rising on her skin. “I kept telling myself you’d hurt me—and maybe you will,” he added with a shrug. “I think that’s why I was such an ass to you during my recovery. I thought if you walked away, I’d be right about you and I’d survive if you left before you could take my heart with you.”

Showing this vulnerability to her had to be one of the toughest thing he’d done in a long time, if not ever, and it made her love him all the more.

“
But you kept coming back.” He laughed and smiled. “The harder I pushed you away, the harder you fought to stay. And now I
never
want you to leave.”

He reached under the table and pulled out a file, handing it to her. She felt her confusion register on her face. “What’s this?”

He didn’t answer, just motioned for her to open it.

She did and her confusion intensified. Her medical degree told her exactly what she was looking at. But why would he… “I don’t understand.”

“
I know my past is a big hang-up for you. And I get it. Really.” He scrubbed his face. “I did a lot of soul searching those last hours we spent together in Boston and decided I wanted to be the kind of man you deserved. So, I went to the doctor and—”

“
And you’re clean.”

“
Yep.” He smiled. “I only want to ever sleep with one woman for the rest of my life.”

“
I want that too, but…”

“
But?” Anxiety dripped from that one syllable.

She wondered if he could hear her heart banging around in her chest or the blood rivaling Niagara Falls in her veins. Was she really going to admit this to him? It wasn’t like he wouldn’t figure it out eventually.

In for a penny…

“
The truth is, X—” She made sure to look directly into his hazel eyes and not so much as blink as she admitted, “I’ve only ever slept with you.”

“
But we didn’t…” His jaw dropped open. His eyes widened. And time stood still. Even the flame on the candle froze mid flicker. “But you’re thirty-two.”

She nodded.

His eyes closed and he shook his head. He slumped back into his chair and she felt like crying. Seconds dragged on and she wondered if he’d ever look at her again. His head moved ever so slowly on his shoulders, like he was confused, trying to shake off the
say-what-huh?
His eyes opened and the intensity in those hazels nearly knocked her over.

He stood and did just that to his chair. He drew her up out of her chair and into his arms. His kiss was tender. “I’m not good enough for you, sweetheart.” He sighed. “But oh, man, I wanna be.”

She thought of the report he’d given her freely. “You are. Oh, baby, you already are.”

As soon as he stiffened in her arms, she realized her mistake.

“
Huh uh. Don’t go there.” She grabbed hold of his chin and looked him in the eye. “Talk to me.”

His eyes closed. He dropped his head, resting his forehead against hers. Seconds ticked by, filled with his rough breathing. He held her tight as if she were his anchor in the sea of memories. “My dad. Ah … he … whenever I cried or wasn’t strong enough or tough enough, he made sure I understood just how unacceptable weakness is.”

“
He—” She couldn’t say it.

“
Beat the shit out of me, yeah.” He pulled her even closer, squeezed her until her bones bended. “With every hit, he told me I was a baby.”

“
Oh, X.”

“
No pity, Doc. I can’t do pity.”

She kissed him, a gentle brush of mouths. “No pity.”

“
I love you.”

This time when their lips met, she showed him exactly how much she loved him. Tongues tangled, hands roamed, breaths mingled. She needed this. He needed this.

But then he paused.

“
Why did you wait?” he asked against her mouth.

Her heart felt like it might explode and her brain couldn’t possibly register coherent thought. “What?”

“
Why are you a thirty-two-year-old virgin?”

“
Mom taught me sex should be shared with somebody special.” She shrugged, feeling like some kind of loser just waiting for her screenplay. At least she wasn’t forty. “While in med school, I was too busy working and studying to date, and then after, I just wasn’t interested in the arrogant athletes only interested in getting down my pants.”

She laughed when Xavier growled and pulled her even closer, nuzzling her neck. “Did you want to wait until you were married?”

She nodded against his chin. “I guess once I’d waited for so long, I thought that would kinda be the way of it.”

“
And how do you feel now?”

With him so close, his need for her pressed hard and demanding into her hip, she wanted to forget her wants and just go with her desires. She ground herself against him, feeling naughty as he moaned into her ear. She grinned. “Sorry.”

“
No, you’re not.” He did a little grinding of his own. “Now answer the question. Given the choice—with no pressure—” He grabbed her butt, holding her firmly against his rising need. “—do you want to wait?”

No!
her body screamed, but her brain seemed to still be in control. She nodded. “Yes. I’m sorry—”

He stopped her apology with a kiss. “Don’t ever apologize.” He shook his head. “Don’t you dare apologize for making me wait a few more days to claim such an honor.”

“
Days, huh?”

“
Marry me, Frankie.” He ran his nose up the tendon in her neck, making her melt against him. “I don’t care if it’s in front of Elvis within the next twenty minutes, next week, or a year and thousands of dollars from now, but say you’ll marry me.”

Tears burst into her eyes and trickled down her cheeks. She sniffed and he eased her away from him. He rubbed trembling fingertips over her face. “Those are happy tears, right?”

She nodded and choked out a soggy giggle. “I love you, Matthias. I will marry you any time, any place. You name the date and time, and I will be there.”

“
Will you stay tonight?” Before she could voice an answer one way or the other, he asked, “Will your mom be okay if you stay tonight?”

She smiled, loving him even more for considering her mother’s needs as well. “Christian promised to look in on her.”

“
You know I thought he was dating you, right?”

“
He figured it out before I did.”

“
What’s the deal with you two?”

“
Chris moved in next door the summer before third grade. Since we were the only two kids our age on the street, we hung out. He taught me how to blow things up and I taught him how to make the perfect omelet. Since then we’ve been best friends. No judgments.” She wondered at what point Xavier had started moving them in a slow circle to the music playing softly from speakers mounted in the corners of the patio. She laid her head on his shoulder and sighed. “You realize he’s part of the package, right?”

Xavier’s nod rubbed against the top of her head. “As long as he doesn’t expect to inspect my package we’ll get along just fine.”

She laughed. “He is a little jealous I get to sleep with you. He wanted every dirty detail of our trip.”

Xavier stiffened, and not in a good way. “What happens between us, sexually speaking, stays between us, Frankie. I know women discuss it with their girlfriends, but I’m not comfortable—”

“
Deal.” She kissed him. “Do you have some sweats I can borrow? I think I’d love to take you up on your movie night suggestion, unless you had something else planned.”

“
I had sex planned, but since we’re holding off for now, I think movie night sounds like a great idea.”

***

Xavier blew out the candles, turned off the stereo and all the lights, and led Frankie toward his room. He couldn’t believe his good fortune. For a long time he’d had everything money could buy and he hadn’t known how much he missed. Or how desperately he needed what only this good woman could offer him.

He was a damned lucky man.

She paused when he headed up the stairs. “Not that I’m opposed to sleeping in your arms, but I thought we were going to watch a couple movies.”

He would never tire of her. Just when he thought he had her all figured out, she surprised him with a witty comment or snarky observation.

“
I do have a television in my bedroom.” They reached the top of the stairs and headed down the short hall to his room. “I thought it’d be more comfortable to cuddle and easier when you fall asleep.”

Her sexy, full lips pursed and her blond brows rose. “Oh, so
I’m
going to fall asleep.”

He shrugged, trying not to laugh. “I don’t care who falls asleep as long as you don’t leave my bed until morning.”

She wrapped her arm around his waist and snuggled into his side. “I love that idea.”

Her small squeak of a gasp and the tightening grip on his hand made him smile. “You did all this for me?”

Yellow rose petals dotted the white sheets where they’d been pulled down over the black duvet. He stood in the doorway, leaning against the jamb and watched her. She ran her hand over the bed and turned to look at him. Awe and appreciation tipped her lips in a smile, her eyes sparkled with tears.

“
I’m sorry I ruined your plans.”

He pushed off the jamb and crossed the room to her. “My plans aren’t ruined, sweetheart, just changed.”

“
You’re sure? ‘Cause we can … Christian gave me a condom.”

“
Man, I love you.” He crushed her to him, satisfied to simply hold her close. They had the rest of their lives to make love and he could wait. For Frankie, he could wait. He let go of her and strode over to his dresser. Pulling out his favorite UNLV t-shirt, he tossed it to her. “It’s not exactly a nightgown, but it should cover just enough to make me crazy.”

She grinned and headed for the bathroom. “If it’s okay with you, I prefer Willis over Stallone.”

“
Your wish is my command.” Just before she shut the door, he called, “And for the record, one condom wouldn’t have been enough.”

Xavier hurried to undress. His preference was to sleep naked, but figured doing so tonight wouldn’t be a good idea, so he kept his boxers on.

The bathroom door cracked open. She stepped out and Xavier could only stare. Keeping his hands to himself tonight would be the hardest thing he’d ever done. She looked good enough to eat, with her hands crossed in front of her, her fingers tugging on the hem flirting with her upper thighs. Her hair teased her shoulders and her gaze focused on her pink painted toes. She was vulnerability personified: shy, unsure. And he loved her.

“
You’re beautiful.”

She glanced up and smiled. “I’ve never done this before.”

“
Neither have I.”

Her head tipped to the side, her expression skeptical.

“
I’ve never had a movie night, Frankie. I’ve never wanted to just hold a woman all night.” He walked toward her, taking her into his arms and holding her tight. “And no woman has ever been in this bed.”

She jerked back and looked up into his face.

“
I have
a condo downtown, which is already on the market. I used to take women there to… well, ya know.” He kissed her. “You’re the only woman I’ve ever brought
home
. The only woman I ever will.”

2
6

Frankie knew where she was and exactly who held her as soon as her thoughts drifted into awareness. With her head on Xavier’s chest, his arms holding her close even in his sleep, gave her a sense of home, of belonging in a way she’d never experienced before.

She heard his heart beating under her ear and used her fingertips to tickle over the dusting of dark hair on his chest. His sharp intake of breath and the tightening of his hold clued her into his being awake.

“
I could get used to this.” His lips pressed against her forehead. His voice contained sexy gravel, lowering his already deep tones, and put very dirty thoughts in her head.

She snuggled deeper against him, raising a leg over his thigh. He sucked a breath in through his teeth, catching her leg just above her knee.

“
Careful, sweetheart.”

“
Oh.” She stiffened, her entire body going two-by-four. “I’m sorry.”

His large palm rubbed up and down her back. “It’s okay. My control has never been tested like this.” His hand moved down to cup her behind, bare fingertips tracing over the hem of her panties. “You are so hot.” He swallowed hard, making her giggle. “You’re killing me.”