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Authors: Desiree Holt

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“Were
there a lot of clowns at the picnic, Lois?”

“Oh,
yes. Four or five of them. Making those balloon figures and doing tricks for
the children.” She balled the tissue up in her fist. “She was right next to me,
sitting with her balloon animal. But she wanted another one. And she wanted the
clown to show her how they were made. She kept asking one of us to take her.”

“But
you didn’t,” Dana guessed.

She
shook her head. “Stan had come back from the softball game and wanted a cold
drink, and I was fussing around, getting it poured for him. He wanted a cup
with ice, you see. And a snack. Two of the men on his team walked up and were
talking to him. And I just turned my back for a minute. Only a minute.”

There
was such pain on Lois’s face that Dana could hardly bear to look at her. “Are
you saying she wandered away?”

Lois
nodded. “There were so many people there. Almost the whole town attended that
day. And when I turned around, she was gone and no one could find her.” She
hiccupped. “I ran around calling her name. Stan did, too. And pretty soon other
people helped. We even thought maybe she’d wandered into the woods. The park is
pretty thick with trees.”

An
ideal place for a predator. All he had to do was lure the child close, subdue
her, and carry her to a car hidden from sight. “But you think she went looking
for one of the clowns?”

Lois
nodded. “That’s all she talked about. She kept repeating the word over and
over.” She frowned. “But you know, the sheriff questioned every one of those
clowns for a long time and they all swore they hadn’t seen her after the
balloon show.”

“All
of them? You said there were four or five, right?”

“You
know, now that I think of it, there was something funny about that.” Lois
rubbed her cheek, a faint tremor in her hand, and frowned. “But I can’t
remember exactly what. I think it had to do with the number of clowns. Even the
chamber of commerce who hired them wasn’t sure if four or five showed up.”

Dana’s
chest tightened, and she had to force herself to breathe. What better disguise
than that of a clown? He could conceal every aspect of his identity, blend in
with his surroundings and at the same time be an attractive lure for children.
Her unstable stomach roiled.

“Listen,
I’ve talked way too much.” Lois stood up, their little chat finished. “Stan
will have a fit if he even finds out I let you in here. You’ll have to leave
right now. Please.”

Dana
rose, gathering her purse. “No problem. I appreciate the time you’ve given me.
And Stan won’t find out from me that I was here.” Impulsively, she hugged the
sad, nervous woman. “Maybe when I put everything together, something good will
come out of this and you can all have some peace. Thank you for your time.”

Lois
practically shoved her out the door, and the chain snapped into place the
moment the door closed.

Clowns.
Damn. Of course. Just like the one who lived in her nightmares. She needed to
go home and scan through the notes on her PDA. Any place in public and she’d be
dogged by people asking questions or throwing sarcastic remarks.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter
Fifteen

 

Dana
had planned to visit one other set of parents that afternoon, but after her
session with Lois Kelly, she didn’t think she could handle another one so soon.
Being personally involved made a whole lot of difference in how a case affected
her. Listening to Lois was like reliving her own nightmare.

As
soon as she got back to the house, she changed into jeans and an old shirt and
began pulling up all the notes she’d made from the reports, looking for clowns.
She took her time, not wanting to miss anything in her haste to search for
similarities. Her eyes were gritty from studying the small screen and her
stomach was reminding her to feed it when her doorbell rang.

Distracted,
she didn’t bother to do her usual check through the peephole and just yanked
the door open. She was shocked to see Cole standing there, holding a pizza box.
He was obviously freshly showered and shaved and dressed in clean jeans and T-shirt.

“I
already apologized for bothering you this morning,” she told him. “I thought
you’d be too busy to leave your office.” She started to close the door, needing
to get him out of her space.

He
stuck his booted foot into the opening. “I actually came to apologize.” He
pointed to the box he was holding. “And I brought a peace offering.”

Dana
sniffed. The delicious scent of cheese and pepperoni drifted past her nose. She
opened the door a little wider.

“So
can I come in while the pizza’s still hot?”

Before
she could stop herself, she’d swung the door wide and waved him in.

In
the kitchen, he put the box on the counter while she got out plates, napkins,
and drinks and put them in a stack. She didn’t know which shocked her
more—finding Cole on her doorstep or letting him into her house. After the
emotional day she’d had, she wasn’t sure she was ready to cope with him and his
overpowering masculinity.

“Here,
let me help.” His voice was right at her ear, a low rumble that warmed her in
the oddest way.

She
pressed her hands against her thighs to keep them from trembling and turned
right into a wall of hard, male muscle. “I, um, need a little space here, Cole.”

He
stared down at her, the color of his eyes darkening to hot chocolate. His hands
on her shoulders felt like live coals, but strangely enough, that too seemed
comforting.

“I
can almost hear your mind buzzing.” His voice was a low rumble. “That kiss last
night was no mistake.”

“I…You…”
Her heart was beating triple time, and she knew the pulse at the hollow of her
throat gave away the sensations rocketing through her.

“Admit
it.” He was practically whispering now, and his hands cupping her face. “You felt
it, too.”

Dana
couldn’t move. She stood there, feet cemented to the floor, as his mouth came slowly
down on hers and his lips brushed hers in a soft caress. She managed to move
her hands up to place on his chest, but rather than use them to push him away,
she kept them there feeling the heat of his skin through his T-shirt.

What
was wrong here? Men terrified her. Scared her so badly she was unable to have a
normal sexual relationship. So why wasn’t she freezing up inside? Running away?
Where was the familiar feeling of panic? How did she go from traumatized to
aroused without taking a breath? Who was this woman who had taken her place?

The
moment stretched on and on, and still she didn’t move. The kiss intensified. His
tongue traced the seam of her lips, and without thinking, she opened for him,
letting him inside. Feeling his tongue like the sweep of a flame. Feeling her
nerves dance in response and liquid soak her panties.

He
never increased the pressure on her mouth, kept it light as he tasted every bit.
She heard a soft moan and was shocked to realize it came from her.

And
then it happened. The panic. The fear. She wrestled her way out of his arms,
heart racing, and took a step back. Then two.

Cole
stood perfectly still, watching her. “I don’t know what’s got you spooked, Dana,
but I promise you, I’ll never do anything to hurt you.”

“Cole—”

His
thumb to caressed her cheekbone, and she wondered why she didn’t move away.

“I
don’t know what’s happening here,” he said in a low, even voice. “I want to say
I can’t ever remember a connection this instant with anyone. I know you feel it,
too. But I don’t want to frighten you so we’ll go slow. Very slow.” The smile
widened. “At least, we’ll eat the pizza first.”

Her
brain was totally frazzled, her vision hazy as he dropped his hands and took a
step backwards.

“Pizza,”
she repeated.

“First,”
he reminded her and nodded at the utensils on the counter. “Can I help with
anything?”

Somehow,
she pulled herself out of her daze. “Oh. Yes. Sure.” She was babbling like an
idiot. “Beer. In the fridge.”

In
a flurry of nerves, she finished putting the dishes and pizza on the table and
took the chair across from him, doing her best to gather her scattered wits. Why
was this happening now? How could it happen so suddenly after all these years?
And why with this man?

When
the time is right, you’ll know it.
She heard again the voice of her
therapist, Dr. Summers.
The barricades will fall, Dana.

But
Dana hadn’t been prepared for them to fall so quickly. All she could think
about was that damn dream and how much she suddenly wanted it to be a reality. For
so long she’d felt certain those dreams were out of her reach but now…

Now,
at the worst possible time, when what she was doing required every ounce of
inner strength to keep it together, when she’d brought herself back to the
birthplace of her nightmares, here was Cole Landry turning her emotions upside
down. Unexpected hunger and her familiar companion, panic, battled within her.

She
looked at Cole and saw the lines of fatigue etched across his face and the
shadows under his eyes. “How about another beer? You look like you could use it.”

He
gave her a lopsided smile. “I won’t turn it down.”

“Go
on into the living room. I’ll bring it to you in there.”

He
was half-lying on the couch, looking as if he could use a week’s sleep, when
she handed him the opened bottle.

“Thanks.”
He sat up, raked his fingers through his hair and took a long swallow of the
beer.

Standing
in front of him, Dana fiddled with her own drink. “I never should have barged
into your office the way I did today. That was idiotic of me and I’m sorry.”
She chewed her bottom lip. “I was shaken by Leanne’s murder happening the moment
I get here and start doing research for my book. I mean, nothing happens here for
twenty-five years, then I show up and boom!”

“Don’t
you think that’s kind of a stretch?” He took a long pull at the bottle. “I know
the people in this county. It’s got to be a stranger.”

“Just
like it was twenty-five years ago?” she demanded with a sudden burst of anger.

“Listen—”

She
held up a hand, the anger dissipating as quickly as it had surged. “Sorry. I
know it sounds farfetched, but I’m just…nervous.”

“Scared?”

“No.
Yes.” She tossed her head. “Whatever.”

“But
not enough to shut down this crazy project.”

“I
can’t, Cole.” She dropped into the armchair. “I have to do this.”

He
sat up straighter. “Can you at least tell me why?”

She
shook her head. “I have my reasons. Leave it at that. Okay?” She tucked her
hair behind her ear. “Let’s say the pedophile wasn’t from around here. That he
moved on. Someone that sick doesn’t just stop what he’s doing. Believe me, I’ve
been researching these kinds of psychos for years and if there’s one thing that’s
true, it’s that they don’t quit. They
can’
t quit. So where did he go?
Where did he set up shop next? Did they find out? Did anyone even look? Check
the national databases? Maybe find a pattern?”

Cole
took another swallow of beer before answering her. “Jesus, Dana. It was a cold
case—very cold—by the time I took office here so I had no reason even to look
at it. But I’d like to think that was done. Maybe whoever it was has been a
victim himself since then and he’s already dead. Auto accident. Almost
anything.”

“Wouldn’t
that be a nice, neat package. Then everyone could close the books and forget
the whole thing.” She smacked her forehead. “Oh, I forgot! Everyone in High
Ridge
has
forgotten about it.”

She
looked away before he could see the sudden tears in her eyes. Lowering her
head, she began to peel the label from the beer bottle, dropping bits of paper
in a little dish on the table next to her.

It
didn’t matter what anyone thought or said. She knew the truth. He wasn’t dead.
He was here, in High Ridge. She’d sensed him today. But how could she tell that
to Cole? He’d think she was crazy for sure.

He
cleared his throat. “Okay, I hear you. But right now, I’ve got every single
body focused on the Pritchard case. Truth to tell, though, I came over here
tonight because I needed to get away from the gore and misery, and I thought…”

“Yes?”
She sat up straighter, her body tightening. “You thought what?”

“I
thought it would be nice just to hang out and talk about something besides
crime and murder.”

She
stared at him. “Because we have such a great relationship?”

He
laughed at that. “Not yet, but I’m hoping.”

Hoping?
Hoping for what? For a normal relationship with a normal woman? Big laugh on
you, Cole Landry.

Her
pulse skipped slightly, and her words seemed to stick in her throat. “Cole,
there’s something you need to know about me.”

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