Our First Christmas (18 page)

“It was in poor taste to mention it. Forgive me. I just get this feeling—she's trying to stop the wedding.” Anya paused, then looked at Dani. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Are
you
trying to stop the wedding?”

“I didn't know you were getting married so soon. I must admit. I'm taken aback.”

“You didn't answer my question.”

“What do you want me to say? I've loved Nate my entire life.”

“I can't believe this. I hoped there was something between you and the photographer.” Was it that obvious? Why hadn't Dani ever admitted it before? “You must know how he looks at you?”

“Come on.” Dani was dying to hear how he looked at her. She thought there was a spark whenever he did, but could others actually see it?

“I'm quite serious. He watches you all the time.” For a second Dani wanted to tell her about the kiss. Like they were girlfriends reliving every exciting moment. But they weren't friends. And Dani was still confused. She loved Nate, too, didn't she? And even if she didn't end up with Nate, he was her friend. She had to make sure he was getting a good woman. “Why Nate?” she said. “There must be loads of men in London lined up to date you.”

“I fell in love. That's it.”

“And then you just said, ‘Hey, Nate, let's move to London,' and what? He just said, ‘Sure!' ”

“I realize this is quite a sore spot for you.”

“I want to know how you talked him into it. That's all.”

“If you must know, it was his idea.”

It felt like a physical blow. “It was his idea? It was Nate's idea to move to London?”

“Yes.”

“I don't believe you.”

“Did I outline the opportunities that could be there for an emerging artist? Yes. Do I want to move to London? Yes. Was I the one to bring the subject up? No. He's ready to explore the world. I know he wasn't two years ago when you were ready, and I'm sorry for you. Love is all in the timing, as they say.”

“As they say.”

“But here's the difference. I would have married Nate whether we stayed in Wilmington or moved to London. Two years ago you couldn't say the same.”

“I couldn't live in London, I'm not a citizen.” Anya laughed and playfully pushed Dani.
I could playfully push her back,
Dani thought.
Right over the side of the boat.
“He's always going to be a grandmother's boy, you know,” Dani said.

“I know that. Ruth is welcome to visit anytime she likes. It's because of her that we're having the wedding here.”

“If you really want her to like you, you wouldn't take her only grandson off to London,” Dani said.

“Then we'd be living our lives for her and not for us,” Anya said.

“I haven't heard you mention Loretta and John,” Dani said.

“When do they arrive?” Nate's parents moved to Florida the year before Dani left for New York. The last time she'd seen them in person, she'd been Nate's girlfriend. Ruth was John's mother. Dani was surprised they had been “allowed” to move out of Wilmington. Of course John was in his late fifties, finally old enough to stand up to his mother.

“They're here,” Anya said. “They've been here.”

“Since when?” Dani said.

“A few weeks.”

“I see,” Dani said. Loretta and John always said they loved her like a daughter. But they hadn't answered her letters or calls in two years, either. And surely they knew she was in town by now. Heck, they probably knew the moment she landed at the airport. Small towns thrived on gossip. Yet she hadn't heard from them. Hurt welled up in her all over again. Sawyer was right. Everyone had moved on but her. And, apparently, Ruth.

“You know, the more I drink, the more I like you,” Anya said pushing Dani again.

“Bottoms up, then,” Dani said. She glanced at the sky. It was getting colder, and it smelled like rain. That might make their dreams a little choppy. She had to admit, the thought of sleeping in close proximity to Sawyer was making her insides light up.

“Now, what can I do to make Ruth like me?”

Dani was feeling a little tipsy. And a little annoyed that Anya kept pushing her. Why had she let Sawyer almost stop her from what she came here to do? She came here to get Nate back. Besides, if she didn't at least try, she wouldn't have an article to write, now, would she? “If you want Ruth to like you, she has to respect you. The only way she's going to respect you is if you show some pride in where you come from. Just like she does.”

Anya took another sip of her wine, then staggered back. “How do I do that?”

“How many glasses have you had?” Dani asked.

“One and a half,” Anya said. “I'm blotto!”

“One and a half glasses?”

“I don't normally drink,” Anya said.

“So why are you?”

“Because you've been making me nervous. The fact that you're even here, so close to my wedding, is making me nervous.”

“I thought Europeans drank a lot,” Dani said.
Note to self: Anya cannot handle liquor.
Dani wondered how she would react after a couple of Dark and Stormys. A few of those and she might really cause a scene. The type of scene that Nate would loathe. The type he probably thought his prim and proper fiancé would never cause.

“You seem to have a lot of preconceived notions about us Europeans. Don't you?” Anya said.

Why not?
Dani thought.
Were the French the only ones allowed to look down their noses?
“You know what? You're right. I do. Ruth does, too. So what you need to do—that is if you want her to respect you—is show her who you really are.”

“You mean, open up and show her my vulnerable side?”

“God, no. Ruth hates vulnerability. I just meant you should incorporate some of your British traditions into the gala. Don't you guys wear silly paper hats, and open Christmas Crackers, and whatnot?”

“Ruth would go mental if I tried to do anything like that.”

“How about a British flag? You could hang it on her front porch.”

“You're trying to get me in hot water,” Anya said. She tried to point at Dani but her finger kept weaving.

“If you showed a little pride in who you are and where you come from, she would respect you. And then admire you. And finally, like you.”

“Do you really think so?”

“I know. When we tour the Burgwin-Wright House, you can add your two cents about the British in Wilmington.”

“Oh. To be honest I'm not quite up on it.”

“Google it. General Craig, Cornwallis—there's a world of history at your fingertips.”

“Do you really think it will do any good?”

“If you act like a pushover, she'll treat you like one.”

Anya sighed, then leaned over the rail and looked into the depths of the river. “She wishes you were marrying Nate instead.”

“I'm made in Wilmington. You can't change that. But you can show her what you're made of.”

Anya straightened up. “I suppose I could try it.”

“Just don't shy away from it. If you're going to do it, go all the way.” What was Dani doing? Ruth would have a heart attack. And wasn't Dani just thinking that she liked Anya? Wasn't she lusting after Sawyer? And oddly, wasn't it true that she didn't feel the same pull toward Nate anymore? She felt friendship, but she wasn't thinking about ripping off her clothes. Still, she was a bit annoyed at Anya, and tired, and maybe a little tipsy. Besides, Anya probably wouldn't go through with it. Stiff upper lip and all that. Her idea of making a scene was probably nothing to worry about.

“Thank you, Danielle.”

“Don't mention it.”

“Now, would you like some advice?” Anya was in Dani's face.

“Definitely not,” Dani said.

“If I were you, I'd be all over that photographer boy of yours.”

“Oh, you would, would you?”

“I bet he's worth the shag.”

“Anya!” Dani and Anya whirled around. Nate was standing at the doorway. From the look on his face he'd definitely heard her last comment.

“I'm so sorry,” Anya said. “I've had one and a half glasses of wine.”

“I don't think I can take her back to her parents like this,” Nate said.

Anya sprinted down the short hall to the main bedroom and threw herself on the bed. “We're having a sleepover!” she shouted.

Nate stared at Dani. “I'll sleep out here on the sofa,” Dani said.

“You can have my bed,” Sawyer said. “I'll sleep out here.”

“I'm sorry,” Nate said. “She's not usually like this.”

“She's fine,” Dani said, stopping short of admitting she liked her better like this.

“I'll even make us breakfast in the morning,” Sawyer said. “Texas style.”

“There you have it,” Dani said. “It's settled.”

“Well, good night then,” Nate said. He was looking at Sawyer.

“If you're looking for me to go to bed, the two of you are standing in my room,” Sawyer said.

“Truly, I'm fine on the sofa,” Dani said.

“I don't know how they do things in the South that's not really the South, but where I come from, if anyone has to sleep on a sofa, it's the man.”

“The South that's not really the South?” Nate said.

“Long story,” Dani said.

“Nate,” Anya sang at the top of her voice. “I'm lonely.” Nate turned visibly red. He stepped closer to Dani. “Are you sure you're okay?”

“Perfectly fine.”

“Because we can leave.”

“I insist you stay.”

“I'm sure she'll be passed out in no time,” Nate said. He glanced at Sawyer again. “Well, good night then.”

“Good night.”

“I often get up to get a glass of water. I'll try not to wake you if I do.”

Sawyer crossed over to the little kitchen, opened the cupboard, and took out a glass. He whistled as he filled it with water then handed it to Nate. “Keep it by the bed,” he said. “Problem solved.”

“I'll just keep my bedroom door open,” Nate said.

“Oh, don't do that,” Dani said. “Please.”

“I'm just in here if you need me,” Nate said.

“Is there a problem here?” Sawyer said.

“I just want her to know—”

“Nate, I'm totally fine. I've worked with Sawyer for the past six months. He's a good guy.”

“Except for when I'm not, right?” Sawyer said.

“NATE!”

The yell from Anya startled Nate and he jostled his water. Then, with a nod at Dani, he hurried into his room. Seconds later, Anya jumped off the bed and slid their bedroom door shut.

“Well, well, well,” Sawyer said.

“Can I just get a pillow and blanket from your bed?” Dani said.

“Why don't you just sleep in the bed with me, Bright?” Sawyer said. He put his hands up. “I'll keep 'em to myself.”

“I'm sure you—”

“Unless you don't want me to.”

He was looking at her again, in a way that made her tingle down to her toes.

“I think the sofa is fine,” Dani said.

Just then, it began to rain. The boat rocked, and the drops began hitting the roof, sounding like little pellets being dropped on the boat by naughty elves. Dani suddenly felt a drop of water.

“Owner said this might happen if it rains.” He reached under the sink. “Here it is. Didn't even need to go to the grocery store.” He brought out a bucket. The leak was right over the sofa. He placed the bucket on the seat. “At least the other sofa is—” He glanced over to find the ceiling above it was leaking, too. He grabbed a towel from the bathroom, and a pan, then placed it on the other sofa. He glanced at his bedroom door.

“Okay,” Dani said. “But definitely hands to yourself.”

“Ma'am.” Sawyer tugged on his imaginary cowboy hat. “Is now a good time to tell you I sleep in the nude?”

 

He was snoring, softly. But instead of being turned off, Dani found herself inexplicably attracted to Sawyer's snoring. Despite his declaration, he was actually wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt and so was Dani. This had to be the strangest evening she had ever spent. When they first crawled into the little bed, Sawyer had knelt down next to it like a little kid, and put his prayer-hands on top of the bed.

“What are you doing?” Dani asked.

“Praying you sleep in the nude,” Sawyer said. Dani laughed so loud that Sawyer had to shut his door, too. “Don't want Nate storming in here to see if we've each got one foot on the floor,” he said.

“He did seem rather upset with the sleeping arrangements, didn't he?”

“Don't tell me,” Sawyer said. “You're thinking that means something. That it's a positive sign.”

“Well, isn't it?”

“He's a man. Men get jealous. Doesn't matter if he dated you four years or four hours. We're territorial around other men.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“If you want to get your hopes up, be my guest. I'm just telling it like it is. If you think he'd be any happier if I jumped into bed with Anya—”

“Do you want to?”

“Do I want to what?” He was on the bed now, on his side, his elbow propped up, his face resting on his chin. Dani lay on her side facing him. It was so intimate, and so polite. So strange. Because it felt natural. Very, very comfortable. No wonder she fell asleep on him on the plane. God, he smelled good, too.

“Do you want to sleep with Anya?”

“What kind of question is that, Bright?”

“I'm just curious. She is beautiful.”

“If you like her type.”

“What? Gorgeous and educated?”

“No. Sloshed after a drink and a half.”

Dani laughed and swatted him. Sawyer caught her hand and held it. Dani's heart was beating so loud there was no way he couldn't hear it. She half-expected Nate to come barging in. What was the meaning of this? Why wasn't she crying about the fact that Nate was in bed with another woman? Why was her entire body on fire? Why did she feel as if she was doing something she wasn't supposed to be doing? Sawyer slowly turned her hand over and kissed her palm. Dani had to clamp her mouth shut to keep from moaning. She prayed Sawyer didn't know the reaction he'd caused by that one little kiss. Then, he let her hand go, and immediately turned away from her. Seconds later, he was snoring.

And she was wide, wide awake. Aware of every little inch that separated him. Aware that all she had to do was slide her hand over, and bridge the tiny distance, and be touching him. Aware that he would probably take very little persuading to make love to her. Right? Then how was it he could be so fast asleep and she was so miserably awake? She should have gotten a glass of water. The rain was still coming down and the boat was bouncing gently on the river. “I like you,” Dani whispered in the dark. And then, she, too, turned away, hugged the pillow, and finally fell asleep.

 

She was so comfy. Resting against something so warm. One leg ran the length of his body, the other was thrown up and over, straddling him. Both arms were near his neck. Oh God, oh God, oh God, she was lying on top of Sawyer! What was wrong with her? She was going to have to slowly, slowly, slide off so that he would never, ever know, and then she was going to have to make sure she was never in this kind of proximity to him again, ever, ever, ever. She gently lifted the leg that was thrown over his body. Then she brought in her arms. Finally she rolled off him to the left. She stood, and crept to the door. She slid the door open.

“Morning, Bright,” Sawyer said behind her. She whipped around. Oh, the grin on his face! He definitely knew.

“Morning,” she mumbled and stepped into the main cabin as fast as she could. Anya and Nate were up on deck, standing as far away from each other as possible.

“And there she is,” Anya said. “Hasn't even been hacked in pieces.”

“Pardon?” Dani said.

“Nate was very worried about you. Unusually worried about you.”

So that was it. They were arguing over her. Shouldn't Dani feel a jolt of pleasure? Instead, she felt bad. “There was a leak in the living room,” Dani said.

“You don't owe anyone an explanation, Bright. You're a grown woman,” Sawyer said, stepping onto the deck.

“And you're an engaged man,” Anya said to Nate.

“Sawyer, didn't you say you were going to make us breakfast?” Dani said.

“Did I?”

“Yes.”

“You said, ‘Texas style',” Anya volunteered.

“Big and spicy,” Sawyer said.

Like you?
Dani wondered.

“I'm not hungry,” Nate said.

“I'm absolutely famished,” Anya said. “A good breakfast will help me soak up all that alcohol.”

“I'll need to go to a grocery store,” Sawyer said.

“Why don't we just go to George's,” Nate said. “You love sitting by the window, Danielle.”

George's used to be their Sunday brunch destination. A lifetime ago. “That's a great idea,” Danielle said. “You'll love it, too,” she said to Anya. Dani couldn't be sure, but she thought she heard Anya mumble, “I wouldn't be so sure about that.”

 

Dani was relived to be sitting in the restaurant on the river, mainly because it was only seconds before she had a nice hot cup of coffee, and a mimosa. Christmas carols were playing and lights were strung above the wall of windows facing Cape Fear River. A tree glittered in the corner of the restaurant. Sawyer was whistling, and Nate and Anya looked just as miserable as they had on the boat.

When their dishes came, Sawyer photographed the grits. “Maybe I should get a picture of you eating grits by the Christmas tree, Bright,” Sawyer said.

“Bright,” Nate said. “I take it you think it's, what? Charming to call her Bright? Like the two of you have some kind of flirting intimacy going on?” It was the first words Nate had spoken since they sat down.

“Flirting intimacy?” Sawyer said.

Anya clanged her silverware down on her plate. “Are you still in love with her?” she demanded.

Was he? Dani wondered. He certainly was jealous, there was no doubt about that. The same panicky feeling that hit Dani when Nate was going to propose was thrumming through her body now. Sawyer was right. There was a very good reason she had turned down Nate's proposal. Her body knew she didn't want him, instinctively it had been trying to tell her at every turn. Just like her body had been gravitating to Sawyer every chance she got, even though she protested it when awake. Who knew that her body had a mind of its own? She'd better speak up before things got out of control. “Of course not,” Dani said. “He's just being overprotective. Like a big brother.”

“A big brother?” Nate repeated.

“An incestuous big brother,” Sawyer added. Dani kicked him under the table. He seized the opportunity and wrapped his leg around hers. If she wanted to pull free, everyone at the table would know what was going on. She was going to let him have it later.

Anya stood up. “You had better let me know right now, Nate. I am not, nor will I ever be, someone's second choice. Although I'd think carefully if I were you, because Danielle had at least three glasses of wine last night and here she is drinking again!” Dani wanted to protest, but if Anya thought a glass and a half was getting drunk, maybe she had a point. Dani was already bummed she probably wouldn't be ordering a second one now. Sawyer slid his mimosa over to her, and Dani grabbed it before anyone else noticed.

“Of course you're not second best,” Nate said. “Dani's right. I guess I am being a bit like an overprotective big brother.”

“Or maybe it's just a horrible idea to hang out with your ex no matter what the situation,” Sawyer said.

“That is an excellent point,” Anya said.

“But we still have to go to the Christmas gala,” Dani said. “Our article depends on it.”

“The Christmas gala?” Anya said. “You're calling my wedding a Christmas gala?”

Dani had forgotten all about the wedding. How was that possible? More proof that she wasn't in love with Nate, or was it that she just couldn't imagine anything usurping Ruth's holiday extravaganza? Probably a little bit of both. Either way, they had to attend. It would cinch the article. She had to smooth things over with Anya. “I have to use the little girls' room,” Dani said. “Will you join me, Anya?”

“Very well. If that's how they do it in America,” Anya said. Nate and Sawyer took up a staring contest as Dani headed for the bathroom.

The minute they entered, Dani confessed. “You were right. I did come here to win Nate back.”

“I knew it!”

“It's even part of the article I'm writing.”

“I thought it was ‘A Southern Christmas'.”

“Well. That's the backup article. The real article is—‘All I Want for Christmas' and it's supposed to document step-by-step how I went about getting Nate back and making up for that humiliating Christmas two years ago.”

“He's marrying me.” Anya already had tears in her eyes.

“I know, I know. I get that now. I really get that.”

“You think I'm going to fall for that?”

“It's true. Believe me, I'm just as surprised as you are, but I swear. It's true.”

“You've only been here, what? A couple of days? You're telling me you fell out of love with Nate in a couple of days?”

“Not exactly. It's just become obvious that there are certain truths I didn't want to admit.” Sawyer was right. She partly came here just to get the story. And maybe it was her heart that spoke up two years ago. Her heart that knew Nate wasn't meant for her.