Otherwise Engaged (19 page)

Chapter Twenty-Four

Daphne walked
to Dogs for Vets for her volunteer shift humming to herself. It was early on a
Saturday, and she wasn’t much of a morning person, but she was in a good mood
anyway. She loved volunteering, feeling like she was really doing something to
help others. It was much more productive than feeling sorry for herself.

And there were
other reasons to be in a good mood. Things were going really well at work. It
was mid-March, and the groundbreaking for the mixed income apartment complex in
Anacostia was happening in a couple of weeks. She’d been an integral part of
the process of making this project a reality, and she felt as if she’d really
accomplished something. The fact that a project she’d had a huge part in was
coming to fruition and was about to be part of something great was a source of
pride. She and Arlen were both on top of the world, and everyone at work was really
proud of them. They’d thrown her an office birthday party and combined it with
a celebration over the closing for the new apartment complex. Most of the
paperwork was behind them. Now the darn thing just needed to be built.

Shortly after
that, Bettina had thrown Daphne a surprise birthday party. The real surprise
had been that Troy was there. She didn’t know how she felt about Bettina
inviting him. She wanted to be happy. However, the thought wouldn’t go away
that Bettina was being pushy. She was also frustrated with herself when it came
to Troy. He was worthy of more than the lukewarm feelings she had for him. He
really was a catch, so why wouldn’t her stupid heart figure out what was good
for it and open up to him?

Daphne still
thought about Rain every day. But she thought about a lot of things that
weren’t good for her that she really wanted anyway.
Like
chocolate cake.
Rain was like chocolate cake.
A
decadent indulgence that was to be avoided.
Well, the chocolate cake
didn’t always have to be avoided. She’d had an excellent Devil’s food one for
her birthday. But Rain certainly always had to be avoided.

She walked into
the front office and smiled at the receptionist who was wearing her typical
Saturday morning attire—a loose fitting blouse paired with light wash
jeans. Things were pretty low key on the weekends. The trainers weren’t usually
around on weekends; most Saturdays, only Gladys, Sandy, and the volunteers were
around. “Good morning, Gladys,” Daphne said.

Gladys returned
her smile. “Morning, sweetheart. We have a new volunteer, and he is cute, let
me tell you.” Gladys fanned herself with a large chocolate brown hand. “If I
were younger…but he’s perfect for you, honey.” Gladys gave her an exaggerated
wink, which was accented by Gladys’s electric blue eye shadow. “And Sandy wants
you to work back there with the dogs today, help the new guy get the hang of
things.”

“I see,” Daphne
said.

Gladys looked
left and right before leaning over the desk and addressing Daphne in a stage
whisper. “Girl, duck in that bathroom and do something with all that pretty
hair of yours before you go back there.”

“I’ll see what
I can do,” Daphne said sweetly as she fingered her standard Saturday morning
ponytail. Gladys was always hoping to set Daphne up with someone. She kept
telling Daphne about men from her church, men she met on the metro, men at the
grocery store, her nephews. All the single men she saw apparently. Gladys was harmless,
and Daphne tried to humor her. Gladys was the friendliest person Daphne knew. Gladys
talked to anyone who’d talk to her, didn’t know there was such thing as a
stranger. She insisted Daphne was too pretty to be single. “Where
is
Sandy?” Daphne asked. “I need to
catch up with her and work out my schedule for the next few weeks.”

“She’s in her
office catching up on paperwork. She said to go back to the dogs, and she’d
meet you back there later,” Gladys said.

Daphne nodded.
She loved working with the dogs, so she didn’t mind one bit. “You know where to
find me then,” Daphne said.

Gladys nodded
and waved her toward the back.

Daphne walked
into the area in the back where they kept the service and therapy dogs. It was
like a kennel, but larger and with more freedom for the dogs. It opened out
onto a fenced area at the back of the property, and the door was usually open
so the dogs could come and go as they pleased. Daphne cast her eyes around,
looking for the new volunteer so she could introduce herself. She stopped dead
when she saw Rain sitting cross-legged on the ground, rubbing the belly of one
of the therapy dogs.

He didn’t have
to know about the heart-stopping effect he still had on her. “You took a shower
since we last met,” she said, pulling her jacket closer.

He looked up at
her and gave her the grin that never failed to make her all warm and wobbly inside
for him no matter what he’d done. “How observant of you.”

She edged
around him, looking at the dogs to avoid looking at him. She wasn’t going to
cave. Being around him again was difficult, but she’d gotten through worse.
Every time she was tempted to jump into his arms and forget about the
consequences, she reminded herself of what’d happened last time. “How’d you
find me here?”

“You mentioned
once that you volunteer here.”

“You remembered.”
The words slipped out. She definitely hadn’t meant to for them to come out
sounding like she was impressed.

He scratched
the dog behind the ears as he said, “That’s not all I remember.”

That wasn’t all
she remembered, either. She remembered how incredible his body looked without
any clothes on it. That was one thing she remembered. He’d learned so quickly
all the places she liked to be touched and how. That was definitely another. His
kisses.
A definite, dangerous third.

She needed to
get to work. If he insisted on being there, she would put him to work, too.
That was the only thing there was to talk about. If he tried to talk about
anything else, she would simply refuse.
End of story.

They spent the
rest of the day working. She showed him what needed to be done for the dogs. Most
of the talking they did outside of that was small talk. He told her how things
were going at his job, and she did the same. He seemed to be really interested
in the idea of mixed income housing, and he’d never heard of it before outside
of the little bit she’d mentioned to him a few months ago, so she told him all
about it and what role the non-profit organization she worked for played in
helping mixed income housing catch on in D.C.

Sandy walked in
a little later, and the two of them talked about Daphne’s schedule for the next
few weeks. Sandy then turned to Rain.

“It looks like
you’re great with the dogs,” Sandy said. “Will we see you around again?”

“I’d like to
come back. Guess it’s up to her,” Rain said, looking at Daphne.

Sandy turned to
Daphne as well, giving her a puzzled look. Seeing as how Sandy was in charge,
she was probably confused as to why Rain would say such a thing.

“We—I
mean they—could always use more volunteers,” Daphne said. Before Rain got
too excited, she added, “It’d probably be best if you tried not to schedule us
together, though.”

Rain’s face
fell. He scuffed the toes of his black shoes on the unfinished plywood of the floor
and fiddled with the zipper of his unzipped jacket but didn’t say anything. Sandy
looked between the two of them a couple times.

“Ah,” she said
and nodded knowingly. “There’s a history here.”

Daphne didn’t
confirm or deny that, and neither did Rain. “Okay, Rain, want to meet me in my
office so we can discuss a few things about you volunteering here? That is, if
you’re still interested?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I
am.” Rain jumped up, said goodbye to the dogs, and then followed Sandy to her
office.

Daphne tried to
sneak out while Rain was tied up with Sandy in the office, but Gladys needed
her help with some paperwork before she could get away. By the time she’d
washed up, finished helping Gladys, and grabbed her things, Rain was standing
by the front door, waiting for her, looking just as eager and expectant as the
dogs did when she or any of the other volunteers showed up for the day.

“Bye, you two,”
Gladys said, giving them a huge smile.

“Goodbye,”
Daphne said.

“Bye, Gladys,”
Rain said. “It was nice meeting you.”

“You, too,”
Gladys said with a nod.

Rain held the
door open for Daphne, and she walked through it. He was still tall and firm and
smelled expensive and good. Why would any of that change? The only thing that
could change was her reaction to him. And it had to. She had to control
herself. Otherwise, she risked self-destruction. On that note, she kept trying
to put distance between them as they walked across the parking lot.
Unfortunately, Rain kept closing that distance.

“Did you
drive?” Rain asked.

“Nah. When the
weather’s nice, I usually walk. My places is only a few blocks from here,” she
said. She shoved her hands in the pockets of her jacket and braced herself
against the chilly March air.

“It’s quite a
walk if I remember correctly.”

“I don’t mind.”
It was a windy March day, but the sun was shining, and once she got moving, she
wouldn’t feel the cold that much.

“I could give
you a ride,” he said.

“Really, the
walk doesn’t bother me. In fact, I enjoy it.”

“I bet there
isn’t much that you wouldn’t enjoy more than getting in a car with me,” Rain
said. He gave her a sad smile. “And I guess that has a lot to do with the huge
mistakes I’ve been making.”

Shoving her
hands deeper in her pockets, she looked over at his car.
A
shiny, ostentatious black beemer.
Seven series. How obnoxious.

“I know I
haven’t been the best friend,” he said. “I haven’t been the best of anything
lately. But I never lied to you. And I just want a few minutes to try to
explain what’s been going on with me. And how I feel about you.” He stopped
walking and put a hand on her shoulder to stop her as well. She came to a stop
and jerked away from his hand.

She glanced up
at him. “Maybe you never lied, but you owed me more than you gave me. We’ve
known each other since freshman year of college. You just disappeared after
we—after it—when we got back from Puerto Rico.”

“I know. And
I’m sorry.” He ran a hand through his hair, which was even longer and more
disheveled-looking than it’d been the last time she’d seen him. There was
something incredibly sexy about that. “I was in Thailand.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.
Do they not have phones in Thailand? You mean to tell me that top of the line,
overpriced phone you have doesn’t work in other countries?” The anger and hurt
she’d felt over the past weeks came out in her words. The vitriol in them
shocked even her, and it seemed to shock him, too.

He was quiet a
moment. Rocking back on his heels, he said, “I know. That was wrong. I
just—I had to sort some things out.”

“Like?”

“How I felt.
No, how I feel about you.” He gave her a look with those hazel eyes that
could’ve melted ice. And it did begin to melt the layer of ice she’d so
carefully built up around her heart. No. She couldn’t let him do this. She’d
promised herself. No more.

“Rain, you’re
not going to play these games with me. Not three months ago, you were
completely in love with Carolina and determined you had to have her. Remember?”

He nodded, and
his now shaggy hair fell across his forehead. “I remember.”

“So what
happened?”

“I
realized…Realized you were right. She was, too. That was about jealousy.
About not wanting to lose.
I care about Carolina a lot. But
I’m not in love with her. I realize that now because for the first time in my
life, I know what being in love feels like. I’ve been running from it for so
long because I was stupid and self-involved, but it was always there. I’m not
running anymore.”

Oh
shit don’t
say
it. Don’t say it. Don’t you dare do that to me,
she
thought.
“You’re not going to flit in and out of my life when you want to. I’m not
some—some groupie.”

“You’re
different. I can easily count on one hand the number of women I’ve had repeat
sex with.
Very easily.
And I can easily count on one
finger the number of women I want to have repeat sex with in the future.”

She had to be
careful. With that face, he could get her to agree to almost anything. And that
face along with those pretty words he was piling on was a deadly combination.
Yeah, downright lethal.

“I don’t want
to hear this.” She drew in a shaky breath. “You’re not the commitment type, and
I need more than sex whenever you decide you want to screw me. I can’t have
that kind of relationship with you. At one point I thought I could, but with
you, there’d have to be more.” She was just too attached for it to be
otherwise. That she was turning into a babbling basket case trying to explain
it to him proved that.

“What if I
wanted to be the commitment type for you?” Rain stepped closer. “You’re always
in my head. I can’t sleep half the time. Not being able to touch you is
torture. I zone out at work. Forget things. It’s driving my partners nuts. I’ve
never been like this before. Not being able to see you, to touch you is hot
coals in my stomach. No matter what I do, how much money I have, how many
connections I make, none of that will bring me the one thing I want more than
anything in the world. Nothing can. This not having you is the worst feeling.
I’m not even a whole person anymore.”

“Please. I’m
sure you have plenty of women to help you ease this supposed pain.”