Otherwise Engaged (11 page)

“What do you
mean?” Daphne asked.

“That first day
when you were here, he asked me to go for a walk with him after you left for
the drug store. He told me he still loved me.”

“Oh.” She’d
noticed Rain had been particularly mopey that evening, but she’d thought it’d
just been the pain of seeing Carolina again and truly realizing she was going
to get married.

“Yeah.”
Carolina drew her knees to her chest and rested her back against the wall.

“What do you
think? About him?” Daphne asked. “Wanting to…why he’s here.”

Carolina was quiet
for a moment, staring straight ahead. She sniffled a little. Daphne tore off a
length of toilet paper, folded it, and handed it to her. She murmured her
thanks and then concentrated on blowing her nose for a moment. When she was
done, she said, “I’m not sure.”

“He wants to
talk to you tonight. To beg you not to marry Manny.”

She sighed, and
there was a slight laugh in it—a hopeless, bitter sound. “To marry him
instead?”

That queasy feeling hit Daphne again.
“I’m not sure. I’m
thinking that’s what he has in mind, though.”

“Manny is such
a beautiful person. I was so broken and angry until I met him. There were other
guys, but none could make me forget Rain—make me put him in the back of
my mind. I was always tempted to come back for more punishment until I met
Manny. He’s so funny and sweet. I told him the whole Rain story, and instead of
getting jealous and angry, all he wanted was to be there for me.
To help me work through my feelings for Rain.
And he was so
patient. He wanted to know he was really the one for me, and that no part of me
was making a mistake.”

Daphne nodded.
“I remember you telling me that. And how he encouraged you to invite Rain to
the wedding if that was really what you wanted to do.”

She smiled.
“Yeah.”

“So do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Still have
unresolved feelings for Rain.”

“Clearly.” She
gestured to herself. “I mean, just look at me. I went off on you for no
reason.”

“No. There was
definitely a good reason,” Daphne said. “I deserved it. I shouldn’t have gone
along with his stupid idea.”

“Really. It’s
fine.” Carolina shook her head. “It showed me what an idiot I still am for him,
and I needed to see that.”

“So what are
you going to say tonight? When he asks to talk to you about it?”

“I honestly
don’t know,” Carolina said. “But I can tell you this much. There will be a
wedding tomorrow, and Manny will be the groom.” Carolina turned and looked
Daphne straight in the eye. “I’ll always love him, I know that. And I’ll always
wonder ‘what if.’ There’s a part of me that will never shut up with the ‘what
if’s.’ I know that, too. But we’re not good together. We make each other crazy.
And while I think that he cares about me, and he may actually be confused about
what he wants, this little stunt of his is more about me no longer being available
to him in the abstract one hypothetical day in the distant future than it is
about him really discovering I’m his ‘one true love.’ Yeah right, I am. Me and
every other woman in the world who catches his eye.”

“He really does
love you a lot.” Suddenly, Daphne felt kind of bad for Rain.
 
“He’s told me multiple times.”

“Manny is ready
for a wife. And I’m very lucky that he wants me to be that wife. Because I’ve
never met anyone so wonderful and who thinks I’m just as wonderful. We mesh. I
need that. Want that. I’m Manny’s, no matter what.” Carolina shook her head.
“And it wouldn’t be fair to Manny for me to keep holding out hope.” She
laughed. “You remember that old song, right? You don’t really love me, you just
keep me hanging on?”

“‘You Keep Me Hangin’
On.’ The Supremes.”

“I think about
that song all the time when I think about Rain.”

“He does love
you, though. In his own way.”

“Yeah.”
Carolina held her head to the side and seemed to consider this for a moment. “I
think so. I also think that ‘way’ isn’t enough for me.”

Daphne clapped
her hand over Carolina’s shoulder. “Understandable.”

“First and
foremost? Rain Foster will always choose Rain Foster. He loves himself more
than he loves anyone else except for maybe his parents. Maybe.”

Daphne laughed.
“True.” She said, “So are we okay now?”

“As long as you
promise not to avoid me anymore over the next couple days and to come visit me
more in New York. Oh. And to be the godmother of my children.”

Daphne said,
“What about your sister?”

Carolina raised
an eyebrow. “Have you met my sister?”

“Good point.”

“I love that
little disaster waiting to happen, but there is no way I think she can handle
raising anyone’s children. Lord
help
them if she ever
has any.
Dios mio
.”

Daphne grabbed
Carolina and hugged her tight. “Deal.”

Chapter Sixteen

Rain opened the
main door to the suite a little after Daphne arrived back from the spa, looking
all chill and relaxed, and found himself face to face with Carolina.

“Hi. I was just
about to come find you,” Rain said.

“I know,” she
said. “I heard.”

Rain started to
speak, but she held her hand up for silence.

“Don’t be angry
with Daphne. She was trying to be a good friend.”

“I’m not,” he
said, although he didn’t know if he was or not. He knew he didn’t have a right
to be angry with her after all he’d put her through over the last few days.
That was for sure.

“Come on,”
Carolina said. “We’ll go out to the beach.”

He followed her
out of the hotel and down to its private beach. They left their shoes near the
edge of the sand, where the hotel’s cement pool and patio area met the sand,
and walked down to the water. Carolina wore a knee-length skirt, so she didn’t
have to worry about getting it wet. Rain rolled up the pants legs of his dark
chinos to mid-calf. They went into the water until it came up a little higher
than ankle-length. For a moment, they just stood there, letting the water roll
over their legs. Feeling the water erode the sand below their feet. They sank a
little deeper each time a wave rolled in and receded.

Finally, she
said, “You wanted to talk to me. About tomorrow.”

Tomorrow.
New Year’s Day and her wedding day.
And she said it all
casually as if it weren’t doomsday or anything. Or not even as if it were going
to be the best day ever for her despite the fact that it would be sheer torture
for him. Actually, her voice was kind of matter-of-fact. Neutral tone. Like
they were talking about an impending trip to the grocery store or something.

Rain?” she
asked.

Realizing he’d
been spacing out on her, he said, “Sorry. Yeah.”

“So what about
it?”

More sand
washed away. He sank deeper. “Um…Daphne and I aren’t really dating.”

She watched the
waves instead of watching him. She nodded. “She told me.”

“I guess she
also told you I don’t want you to marry Manny.”

“Yeah, but so
did you. Remember? The first night you were here? Before you even met him?” She
continued to stare out at the waves, the horizon. “So it didn’t really come as
a surprise.”

He nodded.
“What do you see in that guy? He’s nothing like me.”

“That’s kind of
the point,” she said.

Ouch. He pulled
his feet free from the muck and settled them on top of the underwater sand. He
knew it was pointless, that he’d sink right back down a few waves from now, but
he did it anyway. He said, “I always thought you would be the woman I married.”

“And I always
thought you would be the man I married, but things change, Rain. People
change.”

“And they meet
losers named Manny.”

“You really
think he’s a loser?” Carolina gave him a wounded look.

“No,” Rain
said. Unfortunately he didn’t. In fact, he was just damned perfect. Not that
Carolina deserved any less.

“He makes me
happy,” Carolina said.

“I know,” Rain
said begrudgingly. “We were happy, weren’t we?”

“Sometimes.”
Carolina said with a sad smile. The ocean breeze blew some of her hair free of
the ponytail she’d tucked it into.

“But not enough
of the time?” He tucked a few strands of her hair behind her ear. She turned
away from him a little so that she was halfway between facing him and facing
the ocean.

“Rain, you
don’t want to marry me.”

“Hey, wait,
that wasn’t a question.”

“No, it
wasn’t.”

“Don’t I get
some say in this?”

“You had
say
. For most of the last nine years, you had
say
.” She took a deep breath. Tears were glistening in her
eyes. “This is a big change. It’s scary for you, for me, for everybody
involved. You want to cling to what’s familiar. What you know. It’s
understandable. It’s what people do.”

“I love you,
Carolina. What I’m clinging to is the hope that you could feel what I’m feeling,
too. That we could have forever.”

She laughed but
tears spilled over her cheeks. “You’re killing me, Rain. Please stop.”

He pulled his
feet out of the muck again. Another wave washed over their legs.

“You know,” she
said, “Despite all…this, Manny really likes you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. He even
wants you to come out to the bachelor party tonight.”

“Why?” Rain
blurted out before he could stop himself.

“Beats me,”
Carolina said.

They stood
there for a while, staring at the various oranges and pinks of the sunset. She retreated
out of the water to the point where it barely lapped her toes. He followed her.

“No, I do know.
You’re a likeable guy. That’s why I put up with you for so long.” Carolina’s
smile was incredibly sad.

“I love you, Carolina.”

She looked at
him, and the pain in her eyes hurt his heart. “I love you, too.” She took a
large and shaky breath. “So much. You have no idea how much.”

He stared at
her for a moment. Maybe letting her go really would be the best thing. Maybe Daphne
was right. The only reasons he wanted to tear her away from Manny—whom
she clearly loved, and it was obvious the man was smitten with her, too, as any
man with good sense would be—were selfish reasons.

Daphne had been
right. The decent thing to do, the thing a man who really loved this woman and
wanted her to be happy would do, would be to let her go. Let her go to a man
who was promising forever when Rain wasn’t sure if he could really promise
anyone forever. He wasn’t sure he was quite ready for that. Carolina would have
been worth trying to be ready, but he’d already missed his chance. The S.S.
Manny had come along and swooped her up out of the sea. Damned Manny.

One thing was
for sure, though. Manny had great taste. Carolina wore a tan skirt and a loose,
off-the-shoulders
gauzy top. Both looked great against
her tan skin. Strands of her hair blew free around her soft face. She’d never
looked more beautiful. And he had to let her go. It was over between them.
No more back and forth.
No more maybe. No more incredible
hook-ups whenever Carolina happened to be in town or when he dropped in on her
in New York. It was done now. That was for the best. He couldn’t keep hurting
her and claiming to love her both.

“I want us to.
Um. Do you think we can still be friends?” he asked.

“Of course.”

He reached out
for a hug, and she flung herself into his arms. He squeezed her tightly and
lifted her off the ground for a moment. It felt so intoxicatingly good to hold
her again. Pulling back a little, he went in for a kiss.

She put her
fingers over his lips at the last moment and said, “Not a good idea.” She
smiled weakly. “Do you really think it would be?”

He knew he
wanted to. “It seems like a good idea right now.” And it did, standing so close
to her.

“If we open
that door, who knows where it could lead? I think we’re better off leaving it
right here, right now, while we’re in a good place,” Carolina said. “After all,
what did we just get finished talking about?”

“I guess you’re
right,” he said. And his heart sank the same way his feet had sunk into the
sand earlier. They stood there for a little while longer, trying to make
conversation while carefully skirting the subject of the wedding, but it was no
use. Eventually, Carolina said she had to go because it was time to get ready
for the rehearsal dinner. He nodded and watched her go. He stood on the sand a
little while longer, needing to be alone with his thoughts. Then he trudged
back to the suite.

#

Daphne was in a
much better mood when he got back. She pranced around the suite, getting ready
for the rehearsal dinner, as he sat glumly in front of the television. He was
trying to find something he wanted to watch, but every time he flipped the
channel, all he saw was crap.

Daphne hadn’t
asked about his conversation with Carolina. She seemed to sense how it’d gone.

She stood
before him in a pair of dark slacks and a sleeveless, silk blouse. She looked
so good in that form-fitting blouse. He was sure his eyes betrayed him before
he was able to pull them away. Time had been passing kind of sloppily for him
since his conversation with Carolina. He hadn’t realized she’d finished getting
dressed already and it was time to go.

“You sure you
don’t want to go to the rehearsal dinner? I could come back and get you after
the actual rehearsal if you want,” she said. The look of sympathy in her eyes
made it worse. Made him feel even more pathetic.

“Nah, I’m kind
of tired. I think I just want to stay in if it’s okay with you.”

“Of course,”
she said. “It’s fine with me.”

“I’ll be there
tomorrow. I promise. And I’ll be on my best wedding date behavior,” he said.

She grinned. “I
don’t doubt it.” Her grin faded. She grabbed his hand. It remained limp in
hers. “If you want me to come back…just call. Any time. If you don’t—you
know, want to be alone tonight.”

He smiled.
“Thanks, Daph. Now go. Get out of here. You’re gonna be late.”

“Okay,” she
said. “See you later.” She walked over to the door, paused, and looked back at
him. After hesitating for a moment, she crossed the room back to the couch,
leaned down, and surprised him with a huge hug. After smiling down at him and
placing the sweetest, briefest kiss on his forehead, she let go and hurried out
of the suite.

As soon as she
was out of the door, he flopped back on the couch, closed his eyes, and tried
to shut out all the thoughts he didn’t want.
Thoughts of him
and Carolina first meeting in the dorms.
Dancing in the rain. Making
love. Fighting. Making up. Her making him laugh at times when he hadn’t thought
such a thing would be possible. And then, for some reason, there was another
thought that wouldn’t leave him alone.

Kissing Daphne
the other night.

#

Daphne had a
blast at the rehearsal dinner. It went a lot better than the spa day had.
Everyone was so happy and carefree. Manny and Carolina’s relatives regaled her
with tales about the two as children, the two growing up, and the two as a
couple. The food was delicious. She stuffed herself on various types of seafood
and rice. There were all sorts of cakes for dessert. She kept her eye on a
coconut cake that she
’d been told was mixed
with Funfetti
cake mix. Mm. Funfetti. Coconut.
The things that made life
worth living.

Julio was never
far from her side throughout the night. He’d given her a ride over to the home
of Tia Concepcion, who was Carolina’s aunt. He was her guide for the night,
filling her in on tidbits about all the relatives on Manny’s side and even some
of those on Carolina’s side. It appeared the two families had grown close over
the time Carolina and Manny had been together. Everyone was thrilled about the
wedding. Some of them seemed more thrilled than even Manny and Carolina. Daphne
wouldn’t have believed such a thing could be possible before that night.

Carolina only
mentioned Rain once that night. Daphne and Carolina were talking after one of
the many toasts given that night when Carolina asked, “How is he doing? Is he
okay?” Carolina had smiled at her, but her worry was very apparent in her eyes.
Daphne had assured Carolina that Rain was fine because she knew that was what
Rain would have wanted her to do and because it was mostly true. He would be
fine anyway even if he weren’t quite there yet. Daphne was almost sure of it.

When Carolina’s
mother got up to give her toast, she was overcome with tears. Manny’s younger
brother and cousin got choked up when giving speeches as well. It was one of
the most beautiful rehearsal dinners Daphne had ever attended. Tia Concepcion’s
backyard was bursting with love for the happy couple that night.

“So your friend
isn’t here tonight,” Julio said when they were between toasts and dessert.
Julio often referred to Rain as Daphne’s friend even though he was still supposedly
under the assumption that Rain was Daphne’s boyfriend.

“Nope,” Daphne
said.

“Is it serious
between you two?” he asked.

“Definitely
not.”

Julio grinned.
“I hope you’ll save me a dance tomorrow night then.”

“Definitely,”
she said.

“Good.” He gave
her a gorgeous dimpled smile.

“Ooh. Dessert
time. I’ve been waiting for that Funfetti coconut cake all night,” she said.

“Yeah,” he
said. “Me, too.” He looked her over in a manner that was both appraising and
hungry.

She had a
feeling he wasn’t talking about the cake.

After tons of
pictures, and spending a little more time with Carolina, Carolina’s mother, and
the other bridesmaids, Daphne decided to head back to the hotel. She hadn’t
heard from Rain all evening, and she kind of wanted to check on him.

When she got
back to the suite, Rain was in the exact same spot she’d left him in. She bounced
onto the couch next to him. He glanced at her before turning back to the
television but didn’t say anything. He was sprawled out on the couch, looking
broody and dejected in a sexy way.
Always sexy.

“How’s it
going?” she asked.

“Obviously not
as well for me as it is for you,” he said. He looked pretty bummed. So it was a
safe bet to say his words were an understatement. He rubbed his hands over his jet-black
hair, causing it to stand up in places. She’d always wondered what it’d be like
to run her hands through that silky hair.

“Are you still
feeling sorry for yourself?” she asked.