Other Side of the Wall (7 page)

She
rinsed her soapy hands off. “Let’s go sit on the couch. I think you need a
little

Langston history lesson.”

I
obediently followed her. I was more than interested in what she had to say. She
sat close to me on the couch and took my hands. She had long, red manicured
nails to match her hair.

“Alright
sweetheart, let me set you straight. Scotty and Jenna hung out with the same
group of friends growing up. I could always tell she had a thing for him, but
he only liked her as a friend. She was one of those annoying, know-it-all types
and there always seemed to be something wrong with her. She complained about
everything, and I mean everything. Do you know those girls I’m talking about?”

I
shook my head, yes. I had known a few in my day.

She
squeezed my hands and continued. “I probably would have set her straight when
she was younger had I known she was going to be my daughter-in-law, but I knew
Scott didn’t like her that way, so I just let it roll off my back. Then Scotty
left for Florida to go to school and I didn’t give her a second thought. We
maybe saw her a couple of times over the years, when Scotty was in school, and
again he showed no romantic interest in her.”

I
interrupted. “He told me that they didn’t start dating until their ten year
reunion, but that only lasted a few months.”

She
shook her head in disgust. “Believe me, I wished they would have stayed broken
up.”

“Why?”

“Because
she changed my son. He’s always been thoughtful and on the more serious side,
but he was also fun loving and she seemed to suck that out of him.”

I
thought about some of the times we had been together and I saw that fun loving
side. I smiled. “I love that side of him.”

She
looked at me slyly. “I think you have helped him discover that side of himself
again.”

“Oh,
I don’t know.”

“Well
I sure do know.”

“So
tell me why they broke up, I had a feeling there was a story there, but Scott
wouldn’t say.”

She
laughed a little. “You may have noticed we are not the most politically correct
people on the planet and while we make a good living, we’re blue collar and
proud of it. You could say Jenna didn’t agree with our way of thinking, and she
wasn’t afraid to express her opinions and I wasn’t afraid to express mine.
There was a big blow up one night and she kind of gave Scotty an ultimatum and
he chose his family.”

“I
guess I’m confused, how did they ever end up married?”

She
breathed a huge sigh. “Scotty has a big heart and he has always liked to rescue
things. I can’t even tell you how many stray dogs and cats went through our
house while he was growing up. Jenna was kind of like those strays. She played
the victim well and Scotty was a great hero.”

I
sat back. “Oh.”

“What’s
wrong, Ava?”

“Do
you think that’s why he became friends with me? He thinks I need to be rescued.
Because I don’t,” I said defiantly.

She
sat back, too, and smiled. “No, Ava, I think he doesn’t know what to do with
you because you’re not the one that needs saving in this relationship.”

I
closed my eyes. “What do you think I should do?”

She
took my hand in hers again. “Believe me, sweetheart, I would love to tell you
what to do, but I learned my lesson with Jenna. But, I would like to get to
know you better, so what do you say you come down to my shop this week and you
let me get my hands on your gorgeous hair.”

“I’d
love that.”

“I
have a feeling about you, Ava.”

Chapter 7

I
wasn’t quite sure what she meant when she said she had a feeling about me, but
I definitely thought a lot about what she told me over the next several days. I
found I had plenty of time to think with a lot of free time on my hands. Scott
wasn’t ignoring me, per se, but all of a sudden, he got really busy with work—or
so he said. He called a couple of times, but they were brief conversations and
mainly consisted of general niceties.

I
made an appointment with his mom for Friday after work. I needed some girl time,
and I was in the mood to make some major changes - I was starting with my hair.
Myrna’s shop was about five miles from my house, in an older, well-kept
neighborhood and business district. It gave me a nostalgic-type feel. I liked
it. When I walked in, Myrna was at the front desk, like she was waiting for me.
She came around and gave me a huge hug. I wished she could rub off on her son.

She
introduced me to everyone. I felt like I had been transported into a
chick-flick that took place in a beauty shop. Or more like Cheers where
everyone knows your name, because it seemed like everyone knew my name and knew
about me. They were all giving me those looks - you know those looks, the looks
that said they knew juicy secrets about you. In a way, it was amusing.

She
sat me in her chair. “All right, sweetheart, what will it be?”

I
took one last look at my long golden brown hair in the mirror. “Let’s chop it
off.” I pulled out a picture I found online that I liked.

She
smiled broadly. “Oh, yes. I love it”

She
didn’t waste time going to work. I tried not to freak out as I saw lots of hair
falling all around. Myrna kept me from looking in the mirror; she said this
called for a surprise reveal at the end. As she cut, we talked. Of course she
asked how Scott was. I said I wouldn’t know, I hadn’t seen him all week. She
didn’t look happy about that. I asked her about the rest of her family, and
they all seemed to be doing well. Next she started asking personal things like
did I like kids, how many did I want, did I still love my ex-husband, you know
fun stuff like that. I told her I loved kids and I wanted lots. That seemed to
make her very happy. I also told her I couldn’t stand my ex-husband. That made
her smile.

She
looked at me squarely. “Do you think you could convince Deanna they should
start a family? I don’t know what it is with kids these days, you all want to
wait. You’re not getting any younger. Me and Jerry got married early and had
our kids early, that’s the way it should be.” She patted me. “Not that you’re
old, honey. And I know it’s not your fault you’re not married, but these girls
today.”

I
couldn’t help, but laugh at her.

“I
think you and my mom would get along really well. I think at the rate my
brother and I are going, she’s ready to adopt grandchildren.”

“You
know,” she said, “Scotty always wanted lots of kids too, but Jenna believed the
world was over populated already and it was selfish to have kids.”

Huh?

“Not
me. I think when you have a child, it’s the promise of making the world a
better place.”

She
quit cutting my hair and looked at me thoughtfully. “Ava, you’re a good girl.”

I
winked. “Sometimes.”

“Oh,
I like you.”

I
liked her too, and I loved what she did to my hair. It was a layered bob that barely
skimmed my shoulder line, and she gave me bangs. It was so different, but I
loved it. She suggested doing some subtle highlights as well. I agreed. I
walked out of there with a new haircut, a manicure, a pedicure and a facial. I
felt fabulous, at least physically. Emotionally I felt beat up, but his mom
even helped with that. I agreed to have lunch with her the following week. I
guess she was going to become my new best friend.  

On
the way home I stopped and got Chinese take-out and rented a movie out of one
of those kiosk things. Maybe it sounds vain, but every time I stopped at a red
light, I would check myself out in the mirror. My hair was so different, but I
really liked it. There was something so freeing about it.

I
got home and settled on my couch with a remote in one hand and a Chinese food
container in the other. I pressed play. I was ready to have some vicarious
romance since I wasn’t getting any in real life. A few minutes and bites in, my
phone rang. I automatically got my hopes up that it was Scott, but they were
quickly dashed - it was work. There was a terrible multi-vehicle accident on
one of the highways, and there were multiple injuries; they were calling in all
available staff. I immediately rushed back to the hospital. I knew, as a nurse,
this is what I had been trained to do, but you could never quite prepare
yourself for situations like these.

I
could hear several emergency vehicles as I approached the hospital. This was
going to be a long, hard night, not just for our staff, but for all involved. I
suited up immediately and scrubbed when I got there, and I started helping with
receiving and assessing patients and ranking them on severity and urgency of
treatment to make sure we treated the critical ones first. It seemed like there
was a never-ending line of the injured and not enough hands. Heartbreakingly,
age was no discriminator. Scared little ones in the ER were my kryptonite. I
tried my best to comfort them when I assessed them, but they had just been
through a major trauma, and some had critically injured parents. I knew I had
to keep my emotions in check, but it was hard at times.

An
hour in, an eight year old little girl was brought in. She had to be removed
with the Jaws of Life and life-flighted in. I met them on the rooftop along
with several other medical personnel; it was my job to remember all the
information given to us by the paramedics as we rushed her into the OR. It was
one of those cases where her outside injuries didn’t compare to the damage on
the inside. We knew she was bleeding internally, and we were racing against the
clock to find where, in order to stop it. Her blood pressure was dropping
quickly, and I knew we were losing her. We tried everything we could to keep
her going while we tried to stop the massive bleeding. It was to no avail. Her
time of death was called, and we all stood still for just a moment.

Afterward,
I just kept looking at this sweet, young, lifeless girl with honey colored
hair. She reminded me of my friend Nancy’s little girl from Orange Beach. I
don’t know why, but I reached out and stroked her hair, and I prayed for a
miracle. But it never came.

You
think I would be used to death, but you never get used to it, especially for
one so young. You never get used to the heart-wrenching cries of loved ones as
they weep over the bodies of those they love. I remember the first time I saw
death. It was in this ER. I had never dealt with the death of a patient until I
moved here. It was a middle aged man; he had a heart attack right here in the
ER. I came home that morning seeking comfort from Peter, but all he could say
was, “Ava that’s real life, you need to toughen up.” He couldn’t even just hold
me. I didn’t want to be tough. Strong yes, tough never. There’s a difference.

By
the time I left the ER, it was close to 5am. It had been a brutal night, but we
only had the one casualty. Others had died, but it was on scene. I cried all
the way home. I parked my jeep in front of my house; I didn’t even bother with
the garage. I was emotionally and physically drained. I didn’t want to be by
myself. I needed a friend. I needed Scott. I had wanted him all week, but I was
trying to give him his space.

I
made a split-second decision and walked up his porch instead of mine. I knew it
was early, but the thought of being alone … I just couldn’t do it. I
tentatively knocked on his door and waited. I was surprised when he answered
fairly quickly. He was obviously surprised to see me so early on a Saturday
morning. His hair was unkempt, and he was wearing a white cotton t-shirt and
black pajama pants. As soon as I saw him, I broke down. The emotion of the
night and the emotion of how I felt about him overwhelmed me.

“Ava,
what’s wrong?”  He pulled me into his house.

And
without thinking about how he might react, I embraced him. I clung to him for
dear life. I knew he hesitated for a second, but then he wrapped his arms
around me. I just cried. I couldn’t speak. He pulled tighter and began to stroke
my hair, he whispered words of comfort in my ear, though he had no idea what
was wrong. He had no idea what that meant to me and how safe and warm I felt in
his arms. We stood like that for several minutes. Finally, my cries became
intermittent shudders.

He
eventually let go, but he put his arm around me and led me to the couch. If I
had to guess, I think he had been sleeping there. That would explain why he
answered the door so quickly. As we sat down, he stroked my cheek. “Tell me
what I can do for you.”

“Please
just hold me.”

Without
hesitation he pulled me to him once again. I laid my head against his t-shirt
clad chest and closed my eyes.

I
felt him kiss my head. “Whatever it is, it will be ok.”

I
was too tired to respond, but he didn’t seem to mind. As he rubbed my back, I
relaxed and eventually fell asleep there on his chest. I don’t know how long I
slept there, but when I awoke, it was light out. Scott had pulled a blanket
around me, but his arms were still held me as I began to stir. I slowly sat up,
and in the process, extricated myself from him. I regretted leaving his arms,
but I figured I couldn’t stay there all day, even though I would have liked to.

As
I sat up, he looked at me thoughtfully. The first thing I asked was what time
it was. Scott said it was around nine.

“I’m
so sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

He
touched my cheek softly. “It’s ok, I enjoyed it.”

I
smiled.

“Ava,
what happened?”

I
told him about my night and about little Kelsie. I couldn’t help but cry when I
talked about her. “Peter told me I needed to toughen up and get over this and
death was just a part of life, but I just don’t know if I can.”

He
wiped some of my tears away. “Ava, Peter’s an idiot and he didn’t deserve you.”

I
laid my head back against his couch and turned toward him. “I really am sorry to
have woken you so early. I just didn’t want to be alone and I missed you.”

I
couldn’t help but throw that last part in there. I did miss him.

He
leaned back too, so our faces were close together. He tucked some of my hair
behind my ear. “You don’t need to apologize, I missed you too.” He stroked my
hair again. “By the way, I like what you did with your hair.”

“Thanks,
your mom cut it for me. I really like her.”

He
smiled. “She likes you too.”

I
reluctantly sat up. “I guess I should go home.”

He
stood up and helped pull me up. Every muscle in my body ached and protested.

Surprisingly,
he held my hand as he walked me to the door. And more surprisingly, I didn’t
feel his wedding ring. I didn’t say anything, but inwardly I smiled.