Authors: Scottie Futch
“There’s only one fruit on it.” said Scott. “Can we split it?”
“No. The entire fruit, including the seeds, must be eaten to remove the poison.” said the man quietly.
“I see.” said Scott.
“You should eat it. You’re young and have much to live for.”
Scott glanced at the old man. Briefly he wondered if this was some sort of test. It seemed highly likely that he was being tested by this old man to see if he had a good heart or whatever. That sort of thing was common, right?
In the end, it did not matter. He would fail his test, or perhaps pass it, because of his actions now. Still, he refused to let someone die just for his sake. Scott went and plucked the heart-shaped fruit from the bush, a bush that looked nothing like a mongoose.
“Here.” said Scott.
“No, you should eat it. An old man’s life is not worth as much as a young man’s life.” said the elder.
“That’s stupid. Without the wisdom of old people, young people wouldn’t do anything but have sex and fight all day.” said Scott with a smile. His expression shifted right after as he felt a sudden pain in his chest. It was like his heart had temporarily ceased up.
“Son, listen to this old man. There is a season, a time for everything. Do you understand?” said the elder.
“I’m not going to let you die just because you feel bad for me helping you.” said Scott, just before a bead of sweat rolled down the side of his face. He was starting to feel hot.
The old man looked him in the eyes, and said. “When a man plants a seed, he expects it to grow. Why would he do otherwise?”
Scott looked at the old man for a moment then said as lightly as he could in the situation. “Time, like the mighty honey badger, does not give a fuck. Even young people die, and it is never before their time, even if it is a tragedy.”
Harsh words to be certain, but there is a truth to them that cannot be denied. Days pass without care or concern for those who must live them. Life and death happened due to choices people made or random events that were inflicted upon them.
“How can that be true? The natural order of things dictates that the old dies in order to make way for the new.” said the old man quietly. He seemed to be having trouble staying awake.
“The natural order of things can kiss my ass. Now eat the damned fruit and live to annoy random naked men another day!” snapped Scott.
The elder’s eyes widened in surprise “You’re a sorcerer and you say such a thing?”
“What good is having the power to blow up a city if I can’t even get one old man to see reason and eat a damned piece of fruit?”
The old man stared at Scott briefly then tilted his head to the side. “What good is an old man’s life if ending it would save the life of a man with such a power?”
Scott was starting to lose it. His heart ceased up again and his vision started to blur. He could eat the fruit, there was even time to knock on the damned door. The old man was wasting time. Was this a test or just some old fart who wanted to annoy him to the end?
“What if the man- What if that man, was not a good man?” Scott pressed the fruit toward the old man’s mouth and started to pant heavily. His body felt like it was on fire. He did not have long left.
The old man smiled at Scott then placed his hand gently against the fruit and pushed it away with far more strength that he was supposed to have. “What if he is, but thinks passing a test is as simple as being selfless?”
“W-what if he, he doesn’t care about passing if it means an old man dies.”
The old man tilted his head to the side then nodded. “Good point.” said the old man before he plucked the fruit from Scott’s hand and took a bite from it.
Scott collapsed to the ground and gasped feebly. His heart started to clench and seize erratically. His legs spasmed wildly.
“You fail by the way, but good point.” said the old man before nibbling delicately on the fruit in his hand.
Scott tried to laugh but he lost the energy to do even that. He could barely breathe. It was hard to even move his body. He had failed the test already. It figured.
The old man finished off the fruit then licked his finger. “So good.”
He glanced down at Scott. “So, was it worth it to die to save an old man you didn’t even know?”
Scott did his best to nod. He would have done it anyway. This guy was one of those mystical assholes who lived on mountains, but even so, he would not let someone die to save his own butt.
“You’re an idiot.” said the elder.
Scott used the last of the energy left in his body to force a smile and then closed his eyes. He would rather be an idiot that sacrifice people for his own sake.
“Such contentment in death.” The old man stood up then casually slung Scott’s body over his shoulder. He walked over to the gate and knocked on it with the gate knocker.
“Hey no entrance till the sun rises!” howled the gate.
“Shut up gate. Let me in.” said the old man.
“Oh, sorry master.” said the chatty entryway. The gates opened slowly revealing the stairway beyond.
The elder carried the corpse up the stairs without care or concern for the weight. Once he reached the citadel he stepped into the court yard and several robed men raced forward. “Master!”
“Take this thing to the altar.”
“The altar master? No one has been taken there in quite some time.”
“Yes, yes. Just go.” The master tossed Scott’s body onto the stone courtyard floor then wandered off toward a nearby bench. He wanted to sit and watch the sun rise, as was his custom.
Two of the robed men reached down and each of them took one of Scott’s arms. They dragged him through a set of massive stone double doors that led into the mountain.
**
Light, the enemy of sleep, it poured in through the half closed blinds of Scott’s bedroom and speared him in the face. His eyes fluttered open and then he hissed at the light of day in protest of his sudden awakening.
Scott looked around and sighed. “Dead, huh?” He had died and failed his test. Now he was back on Earth, forced out of ARS for twenty-four hours.
“Man, this blows.” He said before he tried to sit up. He blinked when he realized how difficult it was to do so.
He pulled back the covers and looked down to see what the problem was and his eyes widened in shock. “The hell?”
His bedroom door opened and a tired looking woman with stringy blond hair poked her head in. “What is it, honey?”
“Sarah?” asked Scott in further surprise. What the hell was going on here?
“Yeah? Did you call me?” she asked.
“Uh no…. Just, the hell?” asked Scott in confusion. What was going on, seriously?
“The hell what? Breakfast’s almost ready. Oh, you’re going to have to pick up the kids from school today.”
“Kids?” Scott stared at her like she had grown a second head.
“Don’t give me that look! You know I had to take Glitter’s shift at the club tonight.” she said in annoyance.
Scott slid out of bed, his beer gut jiggled in protest at the sudden movement. “Sarah? What the hell are you doing here?”
Sarah looked at him, surprise obvious on her features. “What do you mean?”
Scott flailed his arms around at the sad looking little room, “This!” He looked at her. “Us!”
She looked hurt for a moment then shook her head. “You know what. I don’t want to do this now.”
“Want what? What is this?” asked Scott in annoyance.
“Sometimes I wonder! Fuck it, I’m going for a walk. You can finish cooking your own damned breakfast!” snapped Sarah, before she turned and stormed out of the room.
Scott watched her go, still confused by what was happening. He looked down at his beer gut and cringed. “Damn, so hairy…”
There was something wrong here. Had he died and gone to a different Earth? What was this? He walked into the bathroom to splash a little water on his face. The man he saw in the streaked and dirty bathroom mirror frightened him. It was Scott, but as an older man. He looked to be in his late thirties, perhaps early forties. He was balding on top and had the look of a man who had been defeated by life.
“Fuck, I look like a bum… and my hair’s brown.” He frowned at the specter in the mirror. That was not him! He was not that guy!
Scott stepped back from the mirror and shook his head. No, this was not happening. This could not be real. He was a sorcerer!
“Magic!” Scott slammed his hands out and called out, “Freeze!”
He accomplished nothing with his hand gesture and command but a healthy jiggle of his belly fat. Jiggling around knocked something loose inside of him and he realized that he had to use the bathroom.
“Dammit…” He closed the door and lifted the toilet lid. The moment he saw his masculine equipment he nearly cried. His manly
bait and tackle
were far from ideal. The bait seemed alright enough, but the tackle hung loose and looked like it too had been defeated by life.
“No, no….” He shook his head. It could not be, this could not be! He was married with children. His balls were saggy and sad. This was not right!
Scott started shouting names of the people he knew. He started with Ero, the sweet fairy who had been with him every moment since they had met. After he received no answer, he continued with the various names of Rhea. Neither Rhea, Aria, nor Origin answered him. He continued to yell out names and asked for help, but no one came to tell him what had happened.
He burst into tears. This could not be happening. It was too much.
He sat down on the toilet and clutched his head in his hands. This was not his life. Sarah was not his cheating wife!
Sadly, no matter how he denied it, he continued to persist inside the nightmare that he now called existence. There was no log out, no beautiful goddess to love him. He had neither fairy BFF nor magical powers. He had only a beer gut and the anger of a woman who he had last spoken to months after she had dumped him.
The problem was, that this life was far more likely to be true and he knew it. Didn’t he just wake up in his own bed? What was more likely, that he was an elbow-dropping fire hurling sorcerer, or a balding middle-aged man married to a stripper.
He could literally feel the reality of the situation rushing in around him. His body felt like it was being pressed in a vice. His heart beat faster, the walls seemed as though they might close in at any moment.
“Daddy?” asked a small, sweet, voice.
Scott was on the verge of hyperventilating, and the sound of that voice had startled him greatly. He nearly fell back off the rim of the tub.
“Did you call me? Are you OK?” asked the voice. She knocked gently on the door.
“W-who… who is it?” asked Scott.
“Dad? It’s Rhea, are you OK?”
Scott blinked then stared at the door. “Rhea?” he asked, surprise rose up in his tone almost as quickly as he rose from the tub. His brain removed the parts about her calling him daddy. He had obviously not heard her right.
He tore the door open and exclaimed, “Rhea!” and looked expectantly at the space before him. He saw no one.
“Dad?” asked the voice again.
He looked down and saw a little blond haired girl who had her hair tied back in a ponytail. She had the prettiest jade green eyes.
“Rhea…?” he asked her slowly.
“Dad, are you alright?” she looked up at him fearfully.
Her eyes were Rhea’s eyes. Her face was a tiny child-like Rhea’s face. Only her hair and ears were different. She did not have the vibrant blue hair of the elf woman he loved, she had the normal blond hair of Sarah. Her ears did not taper to delicate points, they were rounded like a normal girl.
He wanted to do a lot of things upon seeing her face, upon seeing the lie. But it was like he had been punched in the heart and he had no strength left to do any of those things. Scott collapsed to the ground. His consciousness faded.
When he awoke again, it was in a different room. There were tubes running into his arm and he could hear the beep of medical machines.
“He’s awake! Oh god!” called out Sarah’s voice.
Scott looked over to her and saw that she was wrapped in a white sheet. “Sarah…?”
She rushed over to his side and kissed him on the head and cheeks. “You’re, OK!”
“What… Happened?” asked Scott.
“You collapsed! Scared poor Rhea to death.” said Sarah with a hint of annoyance in her voice.
From the seat she had been sitting in, her cell phone rang. Sarah glanced at it then looked away quickly.
Scott tilted his head to the side. “Gonna answer that?”
“Not right now.” she said. Something about how she had said that caused a spike of anger to wash over him.
A painful silence ensued. The phone started to ring again after a few minutes and she glanced at it.
Scott took a shot in the dark. “Is it Jake?”
“Dammit, you just collapsed. We don’t need to go through this…” she said.
Scott frowned darkly but did not say anything. Pieces of the puzzle began to fit into place. They even made a strange sort of sense, albeit some of the implications were disturbing as hell.