Oregon Outback (33 page)

That, because a month ago she’d met Justin Love. Darrow pressed a finger to her lips. A simple touch from him had planted a forest of doubts in her heart. On Monday night he’d followed her in the pouring rain. And then … he’d kissed her. How could she ever forget the feel of his lips on hers or his arms around her?

Closing her eyes, she recalled the moment. He’d poured into her passion, stirred a fire in her belly, and it was then she knew how much he felt for her.

He’d asked if Darrow would marry Smit, but she hadn’t known the answer. If he was passing through, why would he care? Why would he ask? He’d made no indications of any intentions toward her. What should she do?

Had anyone ever been this torn? She’d prayed for the Lord to guide her in one of the most important decisions of her life. So far, He’d been silent on the matter. Either that or Darrow wasn’t listening.

She weighed her options. Marry Smit, and a home and children were hers. They would be good together, she and Smit. Or end things with Smit and wait to see if she had a future with Justin Love, a man she barely knew.

Someone knocked on the door, and Darrow bolted from the bed. After a quick glance in the mirror, she left her bedroom, strolled through the small living area to the front door. She opened it.

Smit smiled at her. Dressed in slacks and a nice collared shirt, he looked more handsome than she’d ever seen him. “How’s my girl?”

She allowed his familiar greeting to wash over her doubts. “I’m good, Smit. You look handsome tonight.” Yes. This was the way she wanted it. She always knew what to expect with Smit. She could count on this man. He wasn’t just passing through. He owned a stable and prosperous business.

“And you’re too beautiful for words.” He took her hand. “Shall we?”

On the drive, Smit talked about his workweek, and she shared a little about hers, though it seemed to go by in a blur. Sitting next to him in his truck, Darrow found that some of the expectancy she’d lost was beginning to return. All she needed was to spend more time with him.

The restaurant in Rimrock was the finest dining Darrow had ever experienced, and she and Smit stuffed themselves with steak and lobster. She couldn’t remember when she’d enjoyed herself so much. Yes. They would be great together. He looked across the table at her, his eyes sparkling with love, she felt sure. When he reached across the table and placed his hand over hers, Darrow’s breath caught in her throat.

Was this the moment? Would he ask her now?

Once the check was paid, Smit escorted her outside where they walked slowly around a small pond with a lighted water fountain and gazebo. Such a romantic place. Had Smit scouted out the location beforehand? That he’d considered all the details impressed her.

Smit led her inside the gazebo and cupped her cheeks with his hands, his face mere inches from hers. He kissed her softly at first, and then thoroughly. Darrow willed herself to respond. With all her heart she wanted to experience that fire of passion she’d felt with Justin. She loved Smit, didn’t she?

He eased away from her, a deep sadness in his eyes. An ache sliced through Darrow’s heart. “Smit …”

He sighed. “I had hoped that tonight would bring that sparkle back into your eyes.”

“You don’t see a sparkle in my eyes?” Darrow swallowed the lump in her throat. “Tonight has been the most wonderful time of my life.”

At her words, he smiled and ran his fingers through her hair. “I know you have doubts. That something has changed in the last few weeks. And that’s okay.” Smit dropped to one knee. “Darrow Kincaid, will you marry me? You don’t have to say yes now, just think about it.”

Darrow smiled down at Smit, looking into his love-filled eyes. “I’ve dreamed of this moment for a lifetime.”

Holding her hand, he stood. “Oh, I forgot something.” He tugged a little black box from his pocket. “I hope you like it.”

Darrow peered into the box to see a small, but beautiful solitaire diamond ring. Tears streamed down her cheeks. She had no words. It was everything it should be and yet …

Not.

Darrow couldn’t bring herself to share all her doubts with him. At least he knew she had them.

Smit tugged her to him, whispering, “I love you. I’ve been worried you were slipping away from me.”

Justin lounged in a high-backed, cushioned chair next to the fire sizzling in the hearth, thinking that his week was almost up.

At eleven thirty at night, everyone except him had left the small lobby. He kept the fire stoked, allowing the flames to mesmerize him, keep him from drowning in his thoughts. Could he leave without finishing? Without finding Reed? Would he leave without seeing his brothers, or facing what he’d run from?

But what kept his heart rate beating an unnatural rhythm was thoughts of Darrow out with her Smit tonight.

He happened to peer out the front door at the very moment Smit assisted her into his truck. The shiny blue-green dress—the color of her eyes—made her look like a beautiful princess. Justin’s gut had burned ever since seeing them.

Smit would ask her to marry him tonight.

After Justin had kissed her that rainy night, he’d asked her if she would marry Smit. She answered that she didn’t know. But Justin did. Darrow would say yes. End of story.

Why wouldn’t she? Justin wasn’t husband material. He was much too restless to settle down. Then why had he kissed her?

Feeling the warmth from the fire against his face, he closed his eyes and thought of the dreamy look in her eyes, and the longing. He never thought he needed a woman in his life—too risky, too much heartbreak. People died or were killed in his line of work. He’d seen it all too often.

If only he hadn’t played a part in the tragedy that ended a life, and left him walking away from his career, things might be different.

Now, as a fugitive recovery agent, he saw a different kind of tragedy.

Betrayal.

Justin saw the betrayal when husbands or boyfriends skipped bail. The look in their loved one’s eyes when they were left behind or left uninformed. When the pressure was on, each person only cared about one thing—his own survival.

In Justin’s opinion, the heartache, the pain, wasn’t worth the risk.

Darrow had changed all that for him. She’d taken him by surprise, and he’d let down his guard. That was all it took. He couldn’t turn her affection away. Couldn’t ignore it. Not anymore.

But marrying Smit was the best thing for her because she didn’t know the truth about Justin. He didn’t have the heart after all to tell her he’d come to the lodge to hunt. He was after her brother.

When she found out, then…
then,
he’d see the haunted look of betrayal he never wanted to see directed at him.

But right now, Justin wanted to forget all that. He wanted to remember the desperate longing and the gleam in her eyes as he leaned in to kiss her. He wanted to think about that kiss. About if things were different. If Darrow weren’t getting engaged tonight. If she weren’t the sister of a fugitive.

That would always stand between them.

A soft sigh to his right drew his attention.

Darrow …

She lounged in the chair across from him, firelight flickering across her delicate features and sparkling in her eyes. Deep in his thoughts of her, he hadn’t heard her come in.

“You’re leaving,” she said and glanced at his duffel bag in the corner.

“My business here is almost done.” Justin pulled his gaze from the hurt in her eyes and stared at the fire again. He wouldn’t wait for Reed much longer.

“I made the right decision.” She thrust her hand out and a diamond sparkled on her finger.

The reflection of a thousand lights pierced his thoughts, his heart. Dazzling him, he couldn’t pull his gaze away though it ripped at his soul. He squeezed his fist, holding in the pain and anger.

Let her go …

“If you call settling for a man you don’t love the right decision, then yes, you’ve done that.” Justin leaned forward, elbows on his knees. Why had he said that? This was best for her. Leave her alone.

“He’s a good man. And stable. I can count on him. I know where he’ll be tomorrow and five or twenty years from now.”

Justin rubbed his jaw up one side and down the other. “Stability is overrated.”

A sniffle forced him to look over at her again. Exaggerated by the firelight, moisture welled in her eyes. “I’ve dreamed of this all my life. Why did you have to ruin it for me? Why? And I don’t even know you.”

“You keep saying that. Don’t you know all you need to? Besides, you’re engaged now. Would it make any difference?”

Darrow pursed her lips and stared at the flames. She should be happy, ecstatic. Justin had done this to her.

“Smit knew something was wrong. He told me he could tell that something had changed in me.”

“But you didn’t tell him what changed?”

Darrow stood and meandered to the fire, her lovely dress contradicting her mood. “No. You told me you’re just passing through. And now I see that you weren’t lying.”

Justin rose to join her. He couldn’t tell if she was aware of his approach, but her gorgeous eyes—he could live in those eyes—widened when she saw him.

He needed to let her go, do what was best for her, for them both. “I’m no good at this. Never have been. But something has changed in me, too.”

Against every good and right judgment in him, Justin did the unthinkable. He lifted her chin and leaned forward to kiss her, fully expecting a slap.

Be true to Smit. End this for us both
.

Darrow received his kiss tentatively at first. He slid his arms around her waist and then her back and suddenly, she threw her arms around his neck, turning the kiss forceful and passionate until finally, Justin had to catch his breath.

Still holding her, he whispered, “Why did you say yes?”

“How can I say no to a sure thing? You’ve given me nothing.”

“Haven’t I?”

Confusion tempered her soft smile. “You’re leaving. I can’t count on you.”

“Have a little faith.” With the words, Justin understood that he’d been waiting on her all along. But now that she’d made the choice, and it wasn’t what he wanted, her decision was too much to bear.

“I’ll give you the rest of tonight, right here in the lobby, to tell me about yourself. I don’t even know what you do for a living, or why you’re here.” She touched her lips to his, brushing away the shards of ice wall she’d broken down over the last few weeks.

“Darrow?” a male voice called.

Justin released her and they both turned to see a man in the shadows a few yards away.

She took a slow step forward. “Benson?”

B
enson!” Darrow rushed over, leaving Justin standing at the fireplace.

Just short of throwing her arms around her brother, she stopped, hesitating. She missed him and yet, she hadn’t heard from him in so long.

What was he doing here? Why had he come? The same questions she had for Justin.

Still … he was all the family she had. “It’s good to see you.”

“You look beautiful.” Benson’s voice was deeper, richer than she remembered. “Celebrating a special occasion?”

At thirty-five he looked more haggard than she would have expected. Though his dark hair was a little long and shaggy, even for him, he was still a good-looking man.

Not knowing how to answer, Darrow shook her head and smiled. “There’s so much to catch up on. Are you staying at the lodge? Did you check in?”

“I planned to, but I wanted to see you first. In case—in case I wasn’t welcome. Then I spotted you by the fireplace …”

Darrow knew her face flushed. He had to have seen the kiss. His glance traveled down her left arm to her hand, where the diamond engagement ring encircled her finger.

“I guessed you’d be married by now. This must be your husband.”

Justin glanced at Darrow, a deep sadness in his eyes. Was he unhappy because she was engaged to Smit? If this situation wasn’t so awkward, she’d take the ring off right now.

“We’re not married,” Darrow said, hoping she wouldn’t have to explain further.

“Engaged then. Congratulations.” He thrust out his hand to Justin.

Justin shook Benson’s hand but didn’t correct Benson regarding the misunderstanding. She was engaged, but not to Justin.

“I know it’s late.” Her brother weaved his hand through his hair, uncertainty in his eyes. “But can we talk?”

Darrow nodded. “Let’s sit by the fire.”

Justin cleared his throat. “I should leave you two alone to catch up.”

“No …” Her vehemence surprised even her. “You can stay.” To Benson, she said, “You don’t mind, do you?”

Reed frowned, hesitating. “No, of course not. Why would I?”

His tone told her that he probably did mind, but if Justin left now, she might not see him again. She might not have the chance to finish their conversation. Besides, she loved her brother, but she didn’t trust him completely. Given his past, she had no idea what he was into. He could be dangerous, but she hoped not. She hoped he had changed. But why hadn’t he called, written … something?

Her brother strolled with her to the couch and chairs positioned around the fire, where she and Justin were only moments before.