Oregon Outback (23 page)

Oh, she was afraid all right. Afraid of what this man could do to her heart, but she wasn’t about to admit that to him.

“You said it yourself. I’m afraid of the very things you live for. We’re too different. We work together. And … the truth is …”

He’d been open with her, sharing that he’d wanted her to be with him when he went hang gliding or biking or all the other things he loved to do. She studied him for a moment. She could barely see his face but for the stars in the night sky, still she was close enough to see the frown lines in his forehead and around his eyes. That her reaction bothered him this much touched her. His dark blue eyes penetrated hers. She could feel him searching for answers. But she had none.

“What is the truth, Avery?”

“Part of me wants to do something new, something risky. I’d love for you to show me a slice of your life. Maybe—maybe we could help each other. Maybe you can free me from being a workaholic. Maybe I can help you to settle down, enjoy life outside of adrenaline-pumped thrills. But, I don’t want to hurt you, Lucas. Let’s just be friends.”

She’d flipped things a little on him, made him the one at risk. Would it work?

Under the star-flickering night sky, she could make out his big dimpled grin and her heart jumped—she wanted to kiss him again. He took a step toward her, and Avery sensed the attraction between them growing stronger, despite her words.

With his next step, she thought to back away, but she didn’t. She let him draw near and slip his hands over her arms, then slowly around her back. Avery stepped into his embrace and lifted her face to receive the kiss they both wanted.

“Tomorrow, Avery.” His lips hovered near hers and, when he whispered, his breath warmed her cheeks. “Tomorrow we can be friends. But for this moment, it’s too late.”

He covered her lips with his. Joy and warmth spread through her heart and mind, all the way down to her toes. Without realizing it, she’d slipped her hands around his neck, and now she pulled him closer. Was this how love was supposed to feel? And if she wasn’t in love, if he didn’t return it, should they be kissing? The thought battled for her attention and lost. She could stay in his embrace forever.

He eased his lips from hers, slowly and gently, keeping her wrapped in a cocoon of his affection. His forehead pressed against hers, they lingered in the afterglow. Avery didn’t want to break the connection.

She smiled, and his lips spread wide in return. “Tomorrow is going to come too fast.”

“I know.” He drew in a languishing breath and released it slowly. “Are you going to hold me to this friends-only thing?”

“Yes. Remember, I don’t want to hurt you. In the end, you could fall in love with me, but I can’t fit into your lifestyle.”

“I’ve never met anyone like you before. Can I still come over to your house and eat bread?”

With that, Avery allowed her head to rock back in laughter.

“We’ll see,” she teased.

He gave her a cockeyed frown then brushed his hand down her cheek. “What would you like to try first? Hang gliding? Four-wheeling? Mountain biking? The list goes on.”

Avery twisted her hair behind her head, drawing in a strained sigh. “I don’t know.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll take it easy on you.”

“Surprise me.”

“Tomorrow, I’ll pick you up after church. I used to go to your grandmother’s church. Is that where you attend? It gets out at eleven thirty, right?”

Her grandmother had known Lucas, then. How Avery wished she could hear what her grandmother would say about him. “Why don’t you come with me?”

“I go to a cowboy church where my older brother Carver and his wife go. It makes them happy and keeps him off my back. But I’d rather go somewhere else. Sure, I’ll come with you.”

“Off your back about what?”

“It’s the older brother arrogance, thinking he’s the head of the family and has to watch out for everybody. He thinks he needs to ride me all the time about …”

Avery snickered. “About growing up, settling down, getting married.”

He ran his hand down his face. “Yeah, that. But he waited long enough to get married. He’s in his thirties, and he just married the sheriff six months ago.”

“Well, you’re a good younger brother to at least go to church with him and keep him happy, as you put it.” Avery climbed into the truck.

Lucas drove her home. She was taking the biggest risk of her life where he was concerned.

Fearless … something told her she’d need to be fearless.

Sitting on his quad, Lucas squinted in the sunlight. Over ten thousand acres of sand dunes waited to be explored. Just one of the dangers lay in all the other explorers that would be out there today as well. Sometimes, people got hurt. Collisions happened.

The dunes had fascinated him since he was a boy and now were the source of his livelihood. He decided that since this was his business, riding an ATV over the dunes should be the first thing for Avery to experience, and probably the easiest compared to all his other activities.

She stood next to her quad and adjusted the helmet that accentuated her big blues while it dwarfed the rest of her. When she slid over the top of the quad her movements were lithe and graceful. Lucas looked away.

Let’s just be friends
.

He’d been insane to kiss her. Then he’d been insane to go along with her friends-only request. How was he going to stick with her wishes to be nothing more than friends? But hadn’t he said that friendship and camaraderie was all he’d wanted from the other women he’d spent time with? He didn’t want to get serious and end up in a commitment.

Avery had turned the tables on him. The fact that she was giving him what he’d said he wanted—friendship, someone to enjoy his activities with—said a lot about Avery as a person.

Lucas liked challenges. He could do this.

Let Avery be the girl he didn’t hurt.

In the end, despite that Avery was different from all the others, that kissing her had changed something in him, and that he couldn’t get her baby blues or the smell of her bread baking out of his head … in the end, Lucas still prized his freedom. He wanted the same thing as Avery.

The challenge ahead of him was more than remaining platonic for her sake. The life he’d built and cherished was on the line. He’d have to backpedal on the emotions she’d stirred in him. She’d done it without him realizing what happened. She’d somehow caught him off guard—but that wasn’t right either. He’d known he shouldn’t give her a second look.

Oh, he’d known.

Sigh. It was no use. He’d lost but a little of the control he’d had, and here he was spending time with her.

Life wasn’t the same without the thrill, without the risk. Somehow he knew that life wouldn’t be the same without Avery either. That was a new reality for him.

What am I going to do?

“Lucas.” Avery’s soft voice spilled into his thoughts. “You okay?”

He grinned. “Sure. Now, remember where everything is? The clutch, gears, kill switch, front and rear brakes? We practiced on the pavement but the dunes are different. You’ll get the hang of it.”

She nodded, but her face was drawn. A lot of beginners were anxious at first, but as long as she took things slowly and built up her skill level, by the end of the day her face would be glowing.

Lucas’s heart pounded at the thought of her face flushed from the thrill. Though he didn’t want to wish the day away, he couldn’t wait for that moment.

Dude, you are in so much trouble
.

He started the ignition of his quad, revved the engine, and drowned out the warning sirens blasting in his head. How had he gone from committed to remaining uncommitted, to fearing that Avery wouldn’t want to be anything more than friends?

“You ready?” Lucas watched Avery.

She held up her thumb.

And … they were off.

Lucas’s ATV lurched forward beneath him. He’d installed mirrors for use when instructing a beginner and watched Avery—she drove like a granny. He laughed, thinking of the moment when he’d tease her later.

Yep. Trouble.

B
ig Indian Gorge,” he said.

Avery admired the view, though fearing what was ahead of her while Lucas shifted into P
ARK
and turned off the ignition.

After a rough and bumpy four-wheel drive over the second half of the loop that was the Steens Mountain National Back Country Byway, in which Avery thought she might get sick, they’d parked and climbed out of his truck, planning to hike a developed trail. At least, Lucas had assured her it was developed.

Wearing her hiking boots, Avery jumped from his truck and looked at the massive cliff face on either side of the grass-filled gorge.

“This is the best way to hike to the Steens Mountain summit,” he said. “Unless you want to drive up.”

“It’s breathtaking.” Though the scenic road had shown them much of the mountains, Avery couldn’t wait to get out and hike, to stand on the summit. “But I bet this isn’t the way you’d normally go, am I right?”

He started off on the Big Indian Gorge trail. “Are you coming or what?”

She jogged to catch up and walk next to him. “If I weren’t with you today, would you go this way to the summit?”

“I don’t need to climb the rocky side every time I go somewhere.”

“That’s what I thought.” She sighed. “Tell me about the rocky side.”

“Nothing much to tell. You have to know what you’re doing. Be able to climb mountains. The eastern face is steep. There aren’t any trails. And the ridges are jagged and sharp. It’s dangerous even for a skilled rock climber.”

Despite the beautiful day, and that Lucas was giving her a taste of his life, shadows grew long over her thoughts.

They walked for a few minutes in silence, enjoying the view. Though it was July, snow still lingered in places along the cliff face. Lucas stopped and drank from his pack.

“You can almost see the summit from here, just to the right.” He gestured toward a rocky top where a radio tower stood.

Avery sat on a boulder protruding from the tall grass. “I’m holding you back.”

He jerked his gaze around to her and scrunched his face. “What?”

“This isn’t an extreme sport, Lucas. You can’t share that part of your life with me like you wanted because I’m not able to participate. I’m not in shape for long hikes. I’m not trained to climb mountains or much of anything.”

She turned her face from his dark-eyed scrutiny. Why did she have to open her mouth? Why couldn’t she simply appreciate that he’d wanted her with him?

Lucas said nothing for the longest time. Avery pulled her gaze from the ridges surrounding them to look at him. The man was gorgeous, especially when he was in his element like today. Why hadn’t he responded? Her words must have hit their mark.

She’d not meant to ruin their day, ruin the hike by bringing up what had bothered her for weeks now. They’d even gone white-water rafting last weekend, driving several hours so she could enjoy the beginner’s version in the Deschutes River. Lucas had gone out of his way for her.

“I’m grateful for all you’ve done. But I feel like a burden.”

He stalked over to where she sat on the boulder. She couldn’t recall seeing him with such a grim face.

Hovering over her, he glowered, but then his expression softened. He sat next to her, forcing her over a little. “All my friends are married and have kids. It gets complicated planning a trip. Having fun. You’re far from a burden. So I have to go a little slower, that’s better than going it alone. Eventually, maybe you’ll get to the place where you’re ready for more challenging levels.”

Lucas brushed a hair from her face. It was the first time she’d felt his touch in weeks. She closed her eyes and forced her emotions into submission. So far, they’d managed to keep their distance. He’d honored her wishes that their friendship remain platonic. Now that she thought about it, it seemed a strange request, considering the kiss they’d shared. Avery quickly shoved that memory from her mind. She had her reasons.

“We had a deal to help each other. But it’s having the opposite effect. Instead of me helping you, you’re making an adrenaline junkie out of me—well, at least making me love the outdoors. But I haven’t done anything for you. You’re still a junkie.”

She remained still as his gaze drifted over her face and lingered on her lips. Her breath caught in her throat.

“You’re wrong, you know. You’ve brought meaning to it all. I didn’t even know it needed meaning, so that’s a start.”

“That isn’t enough.” She smiled, wanting to climb out of their somber discussion. “I’m supposed to cure you of your addiction and help you enjoy the little things.”

The light returned to his eyes, and he rewarded her with his multiple-dimpled grin. “You
have
cured me. I am enjoying the little things in life. Maybe I’ll get the chance to prove that to you.” His smile wavered and something—was it fear?—flickered in his eyes. “Maybe I’ll get the chance to tell you what I’ve been thinking about us, if you give me that. But right now, we need to finish this hike. It’ll be late when we get home as it is.”

What I’ve been thinking about us …