Ordermaster (29 page)

"What happened then?" Hagen's voice was gentle.

"It turned out that it was the same bravo, lord's second son. He hired

an assassin. They set a fire in my neighbor's shop. I went to help. The assassin killed the girl with one of my shop knives. The Watch hauled me off, and put me up for murder. There were witnesses, though. They came to the Hall of Justice and said I couldn't have done it. One was well known to Lord West." Kharl shrugged helplessly. "They found blood on Charee's blouse, said she'd done it. Hanged her and flogged me. Arthal took it hard. He blamed me. He said that it was all my fault, that I should have listened to his mother. Wasn't that long before he walked out and shipped on the Fleuryl as a carpenter's boy. Lord West raised my tariffs so high I would have lost the cooperage. Except I killed the assassin. I didn't even know it was him until later. He'd murdered my neighbor for speaking up for me at the Hall of Justice. I caught him coming out of the scriptorium. Had to run then, and hid till you and the Seastag ported in Brysta. You know the rest."

"You did the honorable thing," Hagen pointed out. "More than once."

   
"No one else thought so. Not Charee, not Warrl, not Arthal." Kharl sipped the wine. "Especially not Arthal. He said I never listened and that nothing could be worse than staying with me. I should have stopped him."

   
"For how long?" asked Hagen. "He would have left when you were not around." His laugh was sad and rueful. "That was what Narlan did. He left a note. He wrote that since I could talk him out of anything, he couldn't say good-bye except in writing."

"You said . . . you lost him ..." offered Kharl.

   
"He sailed with a Delapran merchanter-except it wasn't a mer-chanter. She was a sometime pirate, and one of the black ships of Reduce sank her in less than a season after he left."

"I'm sorry." What else could Kharl say?

   
"It was a good ten years ago. You don't ever get over it. It always hurts. It just doesn't hurt as often." Hagen offered a faint smile. "You have to remember, Kharl, hard as it is, hard as it will be, that young men make their own choices. We did, and they will. When you've done your best-and you're a man who always tries to do what's right-in the end, they have to choose for themselves. The hard thing is when they don't choose well, and there's nothing you can do about it."

   
What could Kharl have done differently? He still couldn't see ignoring Sanyle or Jenevra. Nor could he have not tried to help fight the fire that had threatened
  
Tyrbel's
  
scriptorium.
  
After
  
that... nothing
  
would
  
have

changed, and Arthal would never have understood, no matter what Kharl had said.

Yet...

   
He looked at the wine. That was no answer, either. He was just glad that Hagen was there.

XXXII

Each day brought Kharl greater recovery, and by threeday, he was only occasionally finding holes in his vision, and the sight-daggers had become infrequent, and more like momentary wasp stings. He still brooded about Arthal, wondering if there had been anything he could have done that would have persuaded his son against leaving the cooperage. Even if Arthal had waited ... for a later ship . .. anything ... Every time he recalled their parting, he came to the same conclusion that Hagen had voiced. Arthal had been so angry that nothing short of chaining the youth would have stopped him from taking the billet on the Fleuryl.

   
And then, to find after his death, that his son had been within a handful of kays, and Kharl had not even known it.

   
Slightly after midday, Kharl was sitting alone in the small dining room, sipping light ale from a beaker and waiting for his meal when Norgen entered and walked over to his table.

"Might I join you, ser Kharl?"

   
"Please do." Kharl gestured to the seat across the table from him. He was more than glad to see the commander of Ghrant's personal guard. Everyone else, except Hagen, had been most polite, most courteous, and most distant.

   
"Thank you." As Norgen seated himself, he absently brushed back the thin and fine hair that had once been far redder. He gestured to the serving girl. "An ale, here, when you have a moment."

"Yes, ser."

   
Norgen smiled at Kharl. "You're looking better. Your face was blistered all over after the battle."

"An eightday's worth of rest helps. Or almost an eightday."

   
"That can be a long time. I imagine it's been rather quiet for you." Nor-gen paused as the server set a beaker of ale before him. "Thank you," he said to her.

The server inclined her head and slipped away.

   
"Not many people wish to talk to you, I'd think, and those few that do aren't the ones you'd wish to exchange words with."

Kharl raised his eyebrows. "Those words come from experience."

   
Norgen laughed, a harsh sound, for all that the laugh was not that loud. "Commander . .. surely you could have prevailed without losing so many lancers? Commander, if you had been more effective, Lord Ghrant might not have had to rely so heavily on the mage ..."

"That's not the lord-chancellor," Kharl said.

   
"No. It's lords like Vhint and Ferosyl. They had to supply lancers and armsmen to replace casualties in the personal guard. Like all armsmen in a battle, some didn't survive, and now the lords are complaining-as if casualties in battle were a great surprise."

"I did the best I could," Kharl said.

   
"Ser Kharl... you'll get no complaint from me. If you hadn't prevailed, all of our forces would be ashes, and I'm not sure that the ones with Hen-solas and Fergyn wouldn't still have been as well."

   
Both men looked up as the server returned and set platters before each, and a basket of bread between them. Dark bread, and freshly baked, Kharl noted with satisfaction. On each platter were three cutlets in brown gravy, cheese mashed potatoes, and soggy-looking beans.

"Thank you," Kharl said to the server, offering a smile.

   
"Yes, ser." The young woman's eyes avoided Kharl's, even as she half bowed and backed away.

"The terrible mage," murmured Kharl.

   
"It's the same folk who want you-or me-to use whatever force is necessary so that their lives can go on, undisturbed," said Norgen cheerfully. He broke off a section of the dark bread and handed the basket to Kharl. "I've been in service long enough to see how fickle folk are. When there's peace, they see no use for lancers-or mages. When there's war, they'll promise you anything and look the other way if what you do is too bloody for their sensibilities. But if you suggest that a campaign will be too bloody, you're accused of cowardice or sympathizing with the enemy. Afterwards, they all say that you didn't have to be so brutal... or something like that."

   
After taking a chunk of bread, Kharl set it on the edge of his platter. "Gratitude doesn't last long."

   
"If you get it at all," replied Norgen. "Most people are like small children. They want things their way, and they don't like to be reminded of their duties, or that they should be grateful to those who have protected them. Children don't ever appreciate their parents, not until they have children of their own. The problem with ruling-or fighting for a ruler-is that most people never get that kind of responsibility. So they never understand the choices and the costs." He took a sip of the ale before continuing. "There are folktales that go back as long as people have told them. In them, most rulers are evil and greedy. Ever hear one that talks about evil and greedy subjects?" He laughed.

"You don't think much of people, then?" asked Kharl.

   
Norgen smiled, sadly. "I'm one of them. I get as greedy and as upset as the next person when things don't go my way. You remind yourself of that, and don't expect people to do more at their best than you at your worst, and you'll be pleasantly surprised in life. People are people. Those who expect goodness from everyone all the time-they're the ones who die bitter and unhappy."

"Do most commanders think the way you do?"

"The good ones do-like Casolan-not that I'm as good as he is."

"You both believe in doing the best you can," observed Kharl.

   
"So do you, ser mage. I've seen that." After a pause, the lean commander added, "What else is there in life, other than doing your best? Youth doesn't last. Neither does good fare or ale. Gratitude certainly doesn't. Fame doesn't. About all that does is the satisfaction of knowing you did your best."

"You should have been a scholar," Kharl suggested.

   
Norgen grinned sheepishly. "I was for a time. Don't tell people. Upset my folks something awful. Couldn't stand all the older scholars arguing about things they'd never known and couldn't prove. Far as I know, you only get one life. Decided I'd rather live mine than study and write about the lives and acts of dead men and women. Or about the way languages or laws have changed. Or ..." The commander shrugged.

"You have any children?"

   
"Two daughters, one son. He's a scholar. Thinks his father's crazy, but he's scared to say so. My daughters, they just shake their heads when they think I'm not looking. Kasrina understands, and that's enough."

   
"If she understands, you're a fortunate man," Kharl said, after finishing a mouthful of a too-chewy cutlet. "None of mine did ... or have, not so far, anyway."

   
"I know that, too." Norgen took another sip from the beaker. "You had to leave your family behind?" The word were not quite a question.

   
"My consort died, and my eldest son ... he left. He blamed me." Kharl swallowed. He'd wanted just to mention Arthal and let it go. He shook his head. "The Nordlan merchanter, the one that had the Hamorian envoy on it. The Hamorians . .. they sank it. He was a carpenter's apprentice."

   
Norgen nodded slowly and gravely. "I'm sorry. I had wondered. You have been quiet and withdrawn, even for a mage with much to think about."

   
"I wouldn't have thought they would destroy an entire ship, just to punish a failed envoy."

"They are without compassion. I am sorry." Norgen lifted his beaker.

   
Kharl couldn't help noticing that the commander, for all the number of times he had sipped the ale, had drunk less than half. He swallowed and pushed away the thoughts of Arthal, for the moment, at least. "Do you think there will be any more rebellion?"

   
"There's no one left to rebel-not with enough golds and armsmen to stand against even what's left of Lord Ghrant's personal guard. No... things will be quiet here for a while, maybe a long while. Hamor will go make trouble somewhere else, Nordla or Candar, most likely. The lord-chancellor will keep Lord Ghrant from being too vindictive and from tariffing too much. Lord Ghrant will try to forget that you're around, except to summon you to the Great House now and again, just to remind the lords of your power, and on those days, we'll get our blades and harnesses polished and parade, and the young lancers will think that they're getting paid for doing little-and when the next trouble comes, the ones who learned the least will die, and we'll start all over again. But, by that time, I hope, I'll be stipended or even long gone."

   
Kharl found Norgen's cheerful cynicism refreshing-and depressing. Perhaps what made his words even more depressing was the honesty behind them. The commander saw life as it was, not as he wished it to be- and he didn't seem to hate those who were cruel and stupid.

   
What was it that the druid had said? Not to act out of anger and hatred? Kharl wished he had listened to the druids more carefully. He half nodded, more to himself than to Norgen. "I hope you're right."

"Oh ... things will go that way. Lord Ghrant's not the brightest who

ever ruled, but he's far from the dimmest, and he's come to understand that he'd do far worse with anyone else as lord-chancellor."

   
Was Norgen being too charitable to Lord Ghrant? Kharl couldn't say. So he took another mouthful of the potatoes. Time would tell.

XXXIII

On fiveday afternoon, Kharl stood to the right of Hagen in the audience hall, a half pace back, watching as Lord Deroh walked toward Lord Ghrant, who remained seated in the high-backed chair. Unlike the last time, Ghrant was attired almost entirely in black, with but just enough green trim that he would not be mistaken for a mage.

   
The angular and dark-bearded Deroh stopped several paces short of the dais and turned his head. He stared directly at Kharl, and his face seemed to narrow. After a long moment, he spoke, in a hard and deep bass voice, "Are you going to strike me dead, mage? The way you did Guillam."