Oracle Seeing (The Phoenix Files Book 2) (16 page)

It was all she remembered.

He’d accused her of not telling him the truth. He believed the flaky blonde who handed him his heart. He believed her version of the truth, even when she didn’t see it the same way.

Yes, he was a mess, but Lucian Monroe was a good man. She knew it to her soul.

Her father knew it.

There was no doubt in her mind that he’d heal. That he’d come back and be stronger than ever. He wasn’t a quitter—until that moment when he’d quit on life.

And worse?

Bishop had become the whipping boy to his anger, all because a bimbo broke his heart. He wasn’t ugly, and he wasn’t a monster.

He was a smart man with the best intentions of helping others. She knew he had a gift. Her father had told her everything. This man supplied the police with details to bring the bad guys in, and there was only one way he could do that.

He was special.

That was enough for her.

As far as she was concerned, he’d gone down in the line of duty. That meant everything.

Valor wasn’t about beauty.

It wasn’t about the soldiers who came home from war in one piece. It was about the men who were scarred, damaged, and carried on despite what life had handed them.

Lucian had something valuable.

He was a hero to her, and to the people she’d sworn to protect.

And now it was right back to where it stood ten years ago.

He was angry, she was left to fix it, and it wouldn’t end well. On this one, Avalon was wrong.

But she’d try.

She’d given her word.

“Can we talk?” she asked.

“In my bedroom?” he growled. “This is the last place I want to talk to you!”

It was the truth. He didn’t want to see Bishop Killion here. It hurt too damn much. The future had changed without warning, and he couldn’t bear to see her this close to his bed.

“You’re the one who picked the room to hide in, Mr. Monroe. If you went to the bathroom, this would be a very different conversation, now wouldn’t it?”

He watched her from the shadows.

She was stunning.

The red hair, the green eyes, and the bow lips that he’d thought about for so many years. He’d hid from her for a reason. It was because he had fallen for her at his weakest moment, been embarrassed in front of her, and ran.

He was a coward.

Here he was, hiding again.

“I’ll keep that in mind. I’ll hide in your home one day. Then you won’t find me since you’ll be invading my privacy.”

She closed the door.

It was time to do battle for Lucian’s soul, life, and heart. Avalon was expecting a miracle.

This was going to be tough.

“I’m going to help you, Mr. Monroe.”

He didn’t want her help. In fact, he wanted her as far from him as humanly possible.

She scared the shit out of him.

After all these years, he still felt something for her. At the time of his accident, something had begun growing between them. He’d almost forgotten about the blonde who wore his ring. She’d been a distant memory. Instead, this redhead, with eyes full of compassion, had been his focus. He’d finally gotten his time with her. When he’d called his fiancée, to find a way to break it off, she’d pointed out what he’d not thought about.

No one could want him like this.

There wasn’t a woman in the world who’d proudly walk by his side. In that heartbeat, he’d realized what he had to do.

He had to send her away.

Bishop Killion had to go.

So, he lied. He played hurt, and he pretended that his biggest issue was that she’d lied to him about his disfigurement. It was the only thing he had that would make her leave.

It was the only weapon in his arsenal against this woman before him.

She’d bough it.

It gave him time.

In that moment, as he contemplated scaring her away, he’d taken the time to memorize a few things.

The way she felt touching him. To that day, he could still feel her fingers in his as he woke from the coma. There was the way she smelled. He could pick up the whiff of the same perfume she’d worn then.

Yeah, Bishop Killion was dangerous to him then and now. Nothing had changed. He couldn’t tie her to his life, and he couldn’t let her break his heart.

That was exactly what would happen.

So, as far as she was concerned, he’d never forgave her for the lie. It was best she hated him. After all, he was a monster, and he couldn’t let her in.

At first, he thought he could.

Then his ex had buried any chance that he’d ever be happy again. She’d pointed out the truth.

He was unlovable.

It looked like she needed a reminder of what kind of bastard he could be. His fingers itched to touch her again, but he knew better.

Bishop had to go.

“I don’t need your help.”

“Tell me about your gift.”

He said nothing.

“Okay, let me tell you about it.”

He laughed. “What do you know, Sheriff? What could you possibly even know about me?”

She crossed the room toward him. Immediately, he stood from his chair and backed away. The whisky glass went to the table as he tried to retreat.

AGAIN.

She had this power over him.

It was getting old.

“I know you gave my father information that only someone who had a special gift could give him. I know that you’re blessed with insight.”

He was shocked.

He didn’t know what to say.

Lucian couldn’t speak.

“He told me everything, Mr. Monroe. He kept files that no one else saw. When he was killed, I found them. His blood was on your files. You were his informant.”

Lucian swallowed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She moved closer.

“I’ve kept your secret for the last two years. I don’t know why I bothered, since you hate me, but I wanted to protect you. No one saw them but me.”

His heart hurt.

God!

He wanted to love her so much, but she didn’t deserve his hellish life. Here was the proof. Even after he raged at her, trying to break her, she’d protected him.

Bishop had to reach him. She knew that this was a turning point. “I need your help. I need to find who killed these people, and you’re seeing them, aren’t you? That’s what this whole dog and pony show is about—Avalon, the FBI, and the mess on your gate. You’re in the middle of this.”

She didn’t tell him that Avalon said he’d die if she didn’t help. He might just want that. He was so far gone all those years ago, that she didn’t want to see him do something stupid.

“Yes.”

“Please help me.”

“And?”

“I’ll help you.”

His laughter was filled with pain. “Help me how, Sheriff? What can you do for me?”

“I heard you last night. You were in my dream. You asked me to help you.”

“No, I didn’t. You told me you were going to save me.”

His admission said enough.

It was clarification for her, and it backed him further into the corner. For a lawyer, he was out of practice. He’d just ratted himself out.

“I mean…”

“I’m here to help you. I will save you.”

He kept the hoodie over his head and his face adverted from her. He couldn’t bear to see the disgust in her eyes. The Feds said nothing because they needed him. Avalon was blind.

But Bishop Killion?

She saw to his soul and that was unnerving.

Bishop moved closer. “I’ll save you, Lucian, but we have to settle something.”

He didn’t like the sound of that. When she was right in front of him, he could smell the kiss of vanilla she was wearing. It was that and jasmine.

Jesus!

It undid him.

He knew it so well because it had haunted him for ten years. It was the first smell he’d picked up after he woke up, and it never left him.

She touched his arm, and he pulled away. “Why are you so damn stubborn and afraid of me? What did I do?”

It was more what she could do.

But he lied to keep his secret. There was no choice. He had to stick with the original plan. Even though it was bullshit, Lucian had to keep her safe—and that meant keeping her at arm’s length.

“You knew I was a monster. You knew she had dumped me. She told me you were supposed to tell me. You let me walk into that.”

She was well aware.

Every day, Bishop hated herself for that too.

“She didn’t deserve you, Lucian. I didn’t know how to break it to you. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Well, you did.”

He hoped she was buying it.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been sorry for the last ten years. Do I have to pay for the next ten too?”

He loathed that she was hurting. He could hear it in her voice. Still…this was for her own good. Lucian was doing one last good deed.

He was giving her a real shot in life with someone who could go places with her, take her to dinner, and show Bishop what she was worth.

This was his greatest gift to a woman he’d fallen so helplessly in love with that he hurt every day being away from her.

She didn’t give up.

“I didn’t want to do it to you. I’m sorry you took it as me lying to you. If I could go back and fix it, I would.”

He made a sound like a wounded animal as she touched his arm again. He couldn’t move away. It was go through her or stay with his back to the wall.

“I’ll be honest with you right now, and then you’ll have to decide what to do about it. Since you’re a captive audience, maybe you’ll listen.”

What choice did he have?

None.

“I was put on guard duty that day. When the car blew, my father wanted you safe. He felt horribly guilty. In the back of his mind, he really believed it was because you were helping him bring the animals to justice. He blamed himself.”

Lucian listened.

“I was there when they wheeled you in from surgery. I sat there for those four days, holding your hand.”

He remembered.

Bishop moved to face him. He was still hiding behind the hoodie, and she needed him to see she was being honest.

He flinched when she stood before him.

He was waiting for the comments—the blows to his heart and ego. Lucian didn’t know if he could take any more.

“I spoke to you.”

“I don’t remember.”

It was lies. He’d never forget any of it. That was the last four days of peace he’d ever had. They, despite it all, were the best days of his life.

He’d found love.

Finally, he’d found his soul mate.

“I do,” she offered. “I told you everything about me, my job, your job, the weather, and what I was having for lunch. My father offered to replace me, so I could sleep, but I wouldn’t leave your side.”

He was aware. The nurse had told him, after he’d chased Bishop away. It only confirmed that he’d done the right thing.

“Yes, I was there when your trash bag fiancée showed up. I was there when she took one look at you in the bed, sobbed, and put on the drama.”

He wished he wasn’t listening to this.

“She told me to dump you for her. I told her to fuck off. I called her every name in the book, and they were all right.”

He was aware.

He saw his huge mistake.

When he was handsome, he never noticed that she was only using him. She was beautiful, he was beautiful, and they seemed to fit. Then he met Bishop at the courthouse.

He’d seen her once and knew.

Still…

Now he was ugly, and he didn’t want her to live like this, locked away in the darkness. Bishop was sunshine and happiness, and he was darkness and anger.

“Please leave,” he whispered.

She didn’t stop.

Instead, she took Avalon’s advice and forced him to deal with the here and now. She couldn’t let him run anymore. His life depended on it.

Bishop took a chance.

Reaching up, she pushed his hoodie off his face, and away from his head. She wanted to see him.

The real him.

It had been too long. She’d been right all those years ago. He had healed, and his wounds weren’t bad at all.

“I used to watch you while you worked. You never saw me in the courtroom. You’d smile at your fiancée when she was covering one of the cases, and I was invisible.”

He couldn’t speak.

Bishop was so very wrong.

He’d seen her each and every time.

“I used to wonder what it would take to get a man like you to ever notice me, and I wondered why you were with her. She was ugly inside, and the world saw it. I wanted to save you then, but who was I? I was a twenty three year old deputy, and you were the man everyone loved—including me.”