Authors: Elle Hansen
But those thoughts took the back burner now
. She and all of her children were beginning a new life, making a fresh start. Away from the shadow of Wesley Conway.
A light knock on the door made Josephine look up with a start
. Ava stood in the doorway, an enormous bouquet of yellow roses in her arms.
"Oh, Ava! It's so wonderful to see you!" she cried, rising to take the flowers from the beautiful woman
. She still got emotional when she thought about all Ava had done for her and her family. It was Ava's idea to have Lucia look after Marie's siblings, which proved to be a wonderful situation all around. Lucia was loving and warm and it gave Josephine time to be near Marie without worry. Ava had also given a sworn statement against Wesley in court, enabling Josephine to leave him immediately, without any sort of hassle. Wesley was facing the threat of jail time and heavy fines. As far as Josephine was concerned, it was one of the first happy endings she had seen in a long time.
"How has she been?" Ava asked, her gray eyes very large and still as they gazed at the girl's face
. Marie's cheeks looked pinker, and it seemed like her mouth was curved up in a tiny smile. Ava’s heart clenched tightly when she noticed the thin, wire framed glasses by the bedside table. It had been so long since that day when she had found them, out in the desert where Marie had been cruelly ripped away from everything she had ever known.
"She's been just fine
. She needs a lot of rest, as you could imagine. But other than that, she's recovering really well. I can't wait to take her and the kids to California. We're moving in with my aunt." Josephine's warm smile made Ava's heart glow. "I'm going to ask Lucia to come with us. I think she might like to make her new start with a family around to support her."
"I think she'd like that very much," Ava said quietly
. "I think that sounds like a perfect beginning."
***
Ava stalked around her small house, jittering with nerves and energy. She had already washed every dish, done all of her laundry (including all of her sheets and towels), mopped the entire kitchen and dining room and rearranged the couches. Twice.
Why did she feel so agitated? She mopped the sweat off of her forehead hastily and took a long drink of water.
An idea took a sudden hold of her agitated brain. She could take a shower!
Even as Ava stripped her clothing off, she shook her head
. Sure, a shower would feel excellent. Her muscles were aching from all the work and her skin was clammy from the heat. But was a shower something to look forward to with such desperation?
The hot water pelted Ava’s golden skin, rinsing away the dirt from the day
. She wished with all that was in her that she could rinse her memories the same way. It would be perfect if she could take the image of Marie’s emaciated, broken young body and make it swirl away in a wash of color. If she could fade the image of Angel bleeding to death on the cold stone floor until it was just a shadow and then nothing at all.
She leaned her head back, stretching the muscles in her neck and enjoying the wash of water pouring over her
. It occurred to her that she might be missing the case. It had happened before, working for Division Lynx. She had poured her heart and soul into cracking a particular code or decoding a sequence, and when it was all done and the glow of triumph had washed away, Ava had felt and extreme emptiness. Until the next case, when the cycle would start again.
The problem with being self-employed was that it required she go out and find her own cases
. And, more importantly, it required that she take on all aspects of the cases she handled.
Even if those aspects brought her face to face with abuse, child endangerment and incest
. Drying herself with a thick, freshly washed towel, she padded into the kitchen, thinking about some of the other things that were bothering her.
Take Miguel for instance
. A sexy, amazing man with an incredible future and a past he had to fight tooth and nail to escape cared about her. Yet once they had returned from Mexico, Ava found herself ignoring his calls and avoiding his meetings. She wasn’t sure even now if she had pushed him away for good.
The plane ride home had been a frightening experience
. People who she felt so close to they might as well have been friends from birth surrounded her. She held a girl everyone had lost and forgotten in her arms, ready to be returned to the mother who loved her. An incredible man was sitting next to her, holding her hand and making her feel supported. But all she could think about was what could have been. In her mind, sharper and more horrible than the real life image of Angel on the floor in his own blood, was the scene her mind had created. This time it was Miguel lying before her, his life running out of him. And it had been her fault. She had drawn him back into his old life, just when he was ready to leave it all behind.
She could have been responsible for his death.
He had proved beyond any doubt that he would take care of her. But instead of making her feel comforted, it made her incredibly afraid.
There was a weight on her that she couldn’t escape, no matter how much cleaning she indulged in
. The only way to deal with it was to face it.
Ava blow dried her hair, pulled on a soft orange sarong and high silver sandals, and put on a coating of soft pink lipstick
. She was about to get in her car when she noticed the light on her answering machine was blinking. Pushing the play button, she listened while Cormac’s familiar voice filled the room.
“Ava love, it’s me Cormac
. Thanks for all the flowers and beer! I’m feeling much better and I have some great news! There’s been a ring of jewelry thieves operating right over the border. The government doesn’t have a single lead after eight months of looking, so there’s been a reward set for anyone who can get to the bottom. Not very much like what we did before, but I figured it was in everyone’s best interest to keep everything shaken up. Right, um, I guess I’ll wait for your call back. Be safe, Ava.” The machine clicked off leaving the room shrouded in silence.
Ava felt a familiar happiness flood through her
. A mission! This time it was jewelry involved, not a child. This time she had a team to work with from go. This time she could rely on her new friends. A wash of relief flooded through her, bringing out a glow in her skin and a brightness in her eyes that she hadn’t had in over a week.
She had just picked up the phone to call Miguel when there was a knock at her door.
Her first thoughts made goose bumps prickle along her arms, up her shoulders and behind her neck. Was it someone from Angel’s mourning family? A loyal friend from Mexico?
She advanced slowly, taking her gun out of her purse and moving towards the front door with cautious, deliberate steps
.
The knock came again, more insistent this time
. Ava licked her lips and swallowed. It could be Miguel, or Magdalene, she reasoned. Cormac’s parting words ran through her head. “Be safe,” he had said.
The shape outside the door was large and dark, and Ava was unable to determine who it could be
. One hand edged toward the doorknob, turned it quietly and let the door swing open.
The large person walked in, surveyed the room and let out a long laugh.
“Honey, don’t even tell me you’re scared of Tess McQueen!”
Ava started
. This voice from her past, rich and acidic at the same time, hit her right in the gut. Before she knew what was happening, she was taking the calm powerhouse of a woman by the hand, leading her to her shining kitchen table and making a cup of tea.
“You look different, Ava
. You look older. Wiser,” Tess said, picking up a small silver teaspoon and catching three dips of sugar from a large glass bowl in the middle of the table. Ava couldn’t take her eyes off of the smooth brown hands.
“I am,” Ava said softly, tucking a long silky piece of hair behind her ear impatiently
. It was wonderful to hear Tess talk about her like she was among the chosen ones. It made Ava begin to really wonder why this figment from her past was sitting right across the gleaming table like a friendly neighbor dropping by for a chat. “Is my new wisdom the reason you’re hear?” She couldn’t keep just a hint of irony out of her voice. I occurred to her that Tess might have decided that now was the time. Now Ava was ready to join Division Lynx and fight for good and honor like a true agent.
“There are a few reasons I’m here
. But I want to know exactly what you think.” Tess settled back in her chair, hands folded over her stomach, eyes locked on Ava’s face. “You start from the beginning. Don’t hold a damn thing back. You let it all out.”
And something welled up inside of Ava
. Something swirled thick and red from her gut. She felt her hand slap the table hard, watched granules of sugar jump out of the bowl, heard the clatter of the silver spoon vibrating on the table.
“I was a good agent,” she started sharply, a fire in her gray eyes
. “I was a hell of an agent. And I liked my job. I really enjoyed it.” She paced the kitchen, covering the room in a few short, choppy steps. “And I hated it that you didn’t think I was good enough.” She choked on the last words, almost biting back the rest. The smooth nod of Tess’s head encouraged her to let it out.
You really pulled the rug out from under me
. Do you understand how lost I was? All of the sudden I had no friends, no ties! No one answered my calls, no one gave me a gold watch and said ‘best wishes, you meant a lot to us.’ I was just…thrown away!”
In her mind’s eye Ava saw herself alone and desperate in her hotel room, growing increasingly perplexed and scared when her phone wouldn’t dial through the people she had learned to depend on.
“Go on girl,” Tess said quietly, closing her eyes briefly.
“Then I had to uproot! I had to leave every damn thing I had known for years and move here! I had to move here…” Ava’s voice trailed off as she tried to map out her argument
. What had moving here been like? How could she describe it to Tess?
“Tell me, honey,” Tess said, her voice crooning encouragement.
“I moved here and I met an incredible man. And two amazing friends. Partners. And I learned that I’m a good agent, a good worker. And I’m versatile.” Ava paused, feeling like the blinders had suddenly been ripped away from her eyes, exposing a new, glowing light. “And I found people who loved me even when work was done. People who would never disappear when the case was over. People who would never leave me without a phone number to call.” Ava hugged her arms tight around her chest, letting her last words echo through her head.
There was a long moment of silence before Tess decided to talk.
“You know I have to put my two cents in, honey. And I’ll tell you that you don’t need any wisdom from me. You’re doing just fine yourself. Setting you free made you stronger. You’re a leader, a gut feeler. You never needed an operative or a set of rules. And you needed heart, Ava. You needed people to care for you.” Tess looked at the lovely girl’s profile, her strong, courageous face. “We all loved you at Lynx. But our division took a kind of person less forthright than you are, more resigned. You have to disappear in our world, you have to sever every tie at the hint of a threat. Ava, you aren’t made like that.”
“What am I like?” Ava asked quietly, needing to know more than where she didn’t fit from this woman who had forced her through a trial by fire.
“You know just what you’re like,” Tess grinned, getting up and straightening her fine linen coat. She took Ava’s face gently in her papery hands and chuckled. “You just have to learn to face it and never ever let it go.” She hugged Ava to her and made her way to the door, steadily.
Ava didn’t move, didn’t dare disturb the warmth that had snuggled into every nook in the room
. She felt like she had just been massaged or awakened from a deep, perfect sleep. Tess McQueen had given her life a new luster. She had reassured her that she was a woman who was worth it.
A shimmer on the table caught her eye
. She took a small, brightly wrapped box in her hand and pulled at the delicate ribbons. The paper fell away revealing a blue box. Opening the top, Ava saw a delicate gold watch. She felt a smile play at her wide lips, blossoming into a full grin when she turned it over and read the inscription.
To Ava London, Never stop kicking ass! Love Tess
Ava’s heart skipped a beat as she gazed down at a closed chapter in her life. There was a real tinge of sadness, but more than anything, she felt emancipated. Her old life had sunk quietly to the bottom of her mind. In place of that messy confusion lay the path to her new life, clear open and full of hope. And love.
Ava rushed to the door, ready to find Miguel and tell him everything she had ever held back
. She couldn’t run fast enough.