Operation: Endurance (When the Mission Ends) (27 page)

“Okay, you can turn back around.” He laid back on the couch so he could rest both legs across the cushions.

When she turned around her gaze immediately flew to the pillow and she smirked at him, but her demeanor turned professional as she inspected lower. She gasped as she caught her first glance at his knee and he couldn’t resist the impulse to look, too.

He knew better. The knee was the size of a softball, heading toward a basketball. Already, shades of purple, black, and blue radiated out from where the boot had hit. His stomach roiled. You would think by now he would be used to seeing his body, in particular this knee battered and bruised. But knowing how close he’d come to losing that knee entirely, the nausea surged with the possibility of going through that whole ordeal again.

A delicate finger lifted his chin and he looked into Julie’s concerned hazel eyes.

“Hey, it’s okay. I know it looks bad, but I watched you move. It’s not as bad as it looks. Don’t panic,” she said softly, trying to get him to relax.

He hadn’t realized that his breath was sawing in and out like he’d just run a marathon. Damn, he was hyperventilating.

She lowered her head closer to his and focused on his lips. “Chris, it’s okay. Just breathe in and out.” She brushed a feathery kiss across his lips and all thoughts of his knee fled.

Pear and jasmine invaded his senses. He threaded his hand through the hair at her nape and pulled her closer to deepen the kiss. The adrenaline of the evening after the frustration of last night was just too much. He wanted her closer.

She obviously agreed, pressing her hands into the folds of his t-shirt to explore his chest as his tongue ravished hers. She lowered onto his lap so she straddled him. The pressure of her heat against his erection was bliss and torture at the same time. It had been so long. His hips surged up of their own accord, seeking satisfaction against her. He hurt everywhere, but need overtook that pain quickly.

Julie writhed frantically on top of him, her hands massaging and rubbing whatever skin she could find. Impatient, she ripped his t-shirt over his head and immediately rained kisses along his chest.

Eyes shut, he dropped his head back, enjoying the feel of Julie on him. Oh God, he’d thought he’d never feel this ever again. Needing more, he slid his hand under the edge of the leg of her shorts and discovered she wore no panties. Groaning, he began the trek across her skin to find that place of heaven. Arousal saturated her silky folds and he couldn’t resist the need to sink his finger into them. As he did, she arched her back, making a perfect present of her breasts heaving toward his mouth. Lowering his head, he kissed her nipple through the thin fabric of the t-shirt. He suckled and stroked the hard nub with his tongue as he dipped a second finger into her core. The muscles of her vagina clenched around his fingers and a drop of moisture leaked from the tip of his cock.

Damn, he needed to slow down or he wasn’t going to make it to the finish line. He switched to work her other breast, but needed more, so he tugged at her shirt. “Take it off,” he growled. Her hands fumbled to comply and he looked up into her desire-laced eyes as she removed it. When her eyes met his, he knew he’d made a mistake. She’d seen the bruises on his face.

“Oh God, how could I forget? You’re hurt. We can’t do this.” She began to rise off him, but he grasped her hips to hold her down, knowing she could feel his hard as steel arousal against her.

“I’m fine,” he whispered harshly. “Please don’t stop for me. I want you so much.” His fingers still thrust inside her and he curled them to work her folds. The sensation appeared to
rock her concentration on his wounds and she moaned deep. Her eyes lost focus and her breathing gasped. Her hips surged again and again. He ran the pad of his thumb over her clit and she shattered around his fingers, moisture flooding over them. She screamed his name and continued to clench over and over leaving a trail of scratches down his chest.

He couldn’t hold off any longer. He needed to be inside her. He tugged at his boxer briefs so that his cock was free. She’d scrambled to shed her clothing. Before climbing back on top of him, she took his shaft in hand, rubbing up and down his long length several times, before throwing her bare, long leg over him. He hissed as she lowered over him so he was just touching the edge of her delicate folds.

She held still there for a moment, their harsh, heavy breathing reverberating throughout the room. Then she looked at him with so much emotion in her eyes it left him feeling stunned. But as she sank down the length of his cock, he forgot how to feel anything but the pure ecstasy of being a part of her.

Her warmth pulsed around him and the tingling at his spine warned him he was too close. He grabbed hold of her hips and held her still while he laved kisses over her breasts, trying to gain some semblance of control. She wouldn’t be held down, though, and continued to slide down him and flex her hips as she rained kisses and bites across his neck and chest.

It had been too long and his control was nonexistent. His orgasm barreled down as her inner walls convulsed around him. He slid the pad of his finger across the nub of her clit as he latched on once again to the nipple of her breast. She tensed and cried out his name as he exploded, sending wave after wave of bursts of hot cum into her core.

When the spasms along her inner walls ended, she collapsed against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and simply held her, reveling in the feel of her breath fluttering across his chest hairs. Her rapid pulse pounded against his chest and the hard nubs of her nipples teased at the planes of his stomach. These were the little things that he swore he would never take for granted again.

This, this closeness, this being a part of another person, Julie, was the best feeling in the entire world and he never wanted to go without it again. Selfish? Yeah, but he wanted to keep her in his life, and not just as friends.

Her head still lay against his chest, her hair resting just below his chin. Her fingers played with the hair that trailed up his stomach and she whispered, “We didn’t use a condom.”

He closed his eyes. He didn’t think he could get her pregnant. That probably wasn’t possible for him anymore. “I’m sorry, Julie. I didn’t even think about it, but I can promise you I’m clean. I haven’t been with anyone since you.”

Her head lifted off his chest and she watched him with wide eyes.

“I’ve been through a continual battery of medical tests since then. I know I’m clean.”

“I haven’t been with anyone since then either.”

Wait. What? Her eyes filled with tears and her voice was so low he wasn’t sure he heard her right. That couldn’t be right, could it?

“How is that possible? What about Aaron?”

She shook her head and the tears spilled onto her cheeks. “I couldn’t. I couldn’t sleep with him. I’d promised to wait for you and I just couldn’t break that promise. I tried, because you were dead, but I couldn’t.”

Shock sizzled through his system as he thought back to those months before Aaron died, and the torture of watching them together. There’d always been a slight tension between them that he hadn’t recognized at the time. This must have been the source for it.

“I don’t understand. If that was the case, then why did you stay with him once I was back?”

“He was a good man and he loved me. You made it obvious you didn’t want me, and I didn’t want to hurt him.”

“But,” he sputtered. He had wanted her, desperately. But he had been dealing with so many debilitating physical and mental problems. He remembered back over those days in the hospital, when he was zoned out with extremely high fever and excruciating pain. At that point in time, no one but family was allowed to see him. Cassie had sat by his bedside for hours, telling him stories about everything that had happened in the six months while he’d been held captive. Within those stories he learned about Julie and her new gorgeous doctor boyfriend.

But Cassie had never known his history with Julie. They’d chosen not to share it with her or any of their friends so she had no way of knowing how destructive those stories were to his heart. When he’d finally gotten to see Julie, he’d acted like he didn’t care purely as a self-defense mechanism. He was already hurting too much to be able to deal with her outright rejection, too.

He swallowed against the lump in his throat. “Butterfly, I never stopped wanting you. It was thoughts of you and that perfect day at Cassie’s house that kept me alive all those months.”

Tears flowed freely down her face, as she brushed her fingertips across the bruise on his cheek. As he winced, her eyes widened. “Oh no, I forgot about your knee.” She scrambled off him, throwing on clothes as she ran to the kitchen.

He slumped back, once again feeling all his aches and pains. His knee pulsed in time to his heart, his head pounded, and his ribs shuddered with every breath he drew into his lungs. Between the adrenaline, the orgasm, and the fact he hadn’t slept in over twenty-four hours, he was losing in his battle against exhaustion. He was aware of Julie propping his knee up with a pillow and placing an ice pack around it, but he was too far-gone into sleep to respond to it.

* * *

Julie watched over Chris as he slept. Every minute, it seemed as if the bruises on his torso and face became more intense. There were some stitches along his side that she was curious about. The wound didn’t look fresh, but she didn’t know how he’d hurt himself before this attack. She was jittery and having a hard time settling down. She paced around the room, glancing worriedly at him every time she rounded the corner.

They’d made love and it had been amazing. Her knees quivered just thinking about it. She studied him, taking a moment to lean down to examine the bruise blossoming over his temple. Tears welled in her eyes. She couldn’t stand that he was hurt, again. She could have lost him tonight. She took a deep breath and resumed pacing, mentally listing, alphabetically, the spices in her cabinet. She made it to marjoram before she had control of her emotions again.

He said he never stopped wanting her, but right now she wasn’t deserving of that love. She wrapped her arms around her waist and crouched down to the floor, rocking slightly. She had to deal with this. They needed full honesty if they were going to move forward. He needed to know about Nalia and that she was almost positively sterile after losing the baby. She had to face this if she wanted a future with him. It was time to stop running from the memories if she wanted to be able to make it work between them.

Resolved, she made a final switch on Chris’s knee removing the ice pack and was gratified to see the swelling had gone down a lot. She drew the blanket back up his naked form, brushing a lock of hair off his forehead, and then grabbed her cell phone off the counter.

It was just after 5:00 in the morning so she knew Rachel would be up already. She slid in between the covers of her bed and dialed her big sister’s phone number.

“Hello?”

“Rachel, it’s Julie. I need help.”

“Finally…”
 

Chris awoke at 7:45 on Julie’s couch with a crick in his neck, and the overwhelming memory of the night before. Hell yeah, he had an orgasm and it had been the most amazing thing. Relief, joy, and a touch of panic overwhelmed him all at once.

Where was Julie? Why wasn’t she there with him anymore? Guilt swept over him. He’d completely crashed on her. Memories from the night before swamped him, along with a good deal of confusion. He’d confessed his need for her and she’d immediately begun to doctor him like she wanted to avoid the subject. Was it possible he’d misread her? Maybe she didn’t have feelings for him anymore, but she’d said she’d never slept with Aaron. Those weren’t the actions of a woman who didn’t have feelings for him.

Julie was an extremely complex lady. He had a feeling he just needed to give her time. He could do that, but in the meantime, he wasn’t going to leave her side. He slowly stood, wrapping the blanket around his waist and tested how much weight his knee would take. Pain and pressure radiated out from his knee and up his thigh, but it would hold some weight. It wasn’t as bad as he’d expected it to be. Relief surged through him. Maybe there really wasn’t any new damage there besides some heavy bruising.

And as he moved his sore, tired body, he realized bruising was going to be the norm for the day. Everything ached and protested as he trudged slowly across the room. But he wasn’t going to let that deter him from his goal. He needed to find Julie.

He paused in the doorway of her bedroom, observing Julie while she slept. Gratitude surged through him. He had another chance here. Things weren’t as perfect as he hoped. He had a lot of work ahead of him especially since he still needed to explain to her about his fertility issues. He knew she wanted a family so this could be a major issue for them, but there were other options out there. He would tell her eventually. In the meantime, he just needed to convince her that she needed him as much as he needed her.

He dropped the blanket he’d wrapped around his waist and slid between the covers with her. He tucked in behind her and pulled her under his arm so she spooned with him, his chest pressed into her back.

She stirred lightly with a mumbled, “Chris?”

“Yeah, it’s me, Butterfly,” he whispered into her hair. “Go back to sleep.”