Operation Cowboy Daddy (15 page)

Mary’s heart stuttered in her chest. “No, that’s crazy. Tony doesn’t love me and he’s not in love with me. He just believes he needs me right now...because of Joey. He appreciates how I’ve helped him out, that’s all.”

Tony wanted her. There was no question that he’d like to have her in bed again, but love had nothing to do with it. He couldn’t love her. She just wouldn’t allow it.

Halena smiled at Cassie. “My granddaughter is a very foolish woman. Now, about those hats you mentioned earlier...”

* * *

Tony watched as several of Frankie’s men unloaded lumber from the back of a truck. In the past three days the interior of the house had been repainted and now it was time for Frankie and his men to put back the porch where Mary had spent an afternoon teaching him about her basket weaving.

Tony was making the porch bigger and better than it had been. He hadn’t told Mary yet, he wanted it to be a surprise. But besides increasing the size of the porch he was putting in glass and screens so that if she wanted she could work in the space throughout the whole year.

It was the very least he could do for the woman who had put her own life on hold to help him. It was the very least he could do for the woman who had captured his reluctant heart.

He leaned with his back against his truck’s driver door, raised his face to the warm afternoon sun and then frowned as he thought about the past three days.

Mary and Halena seemed to have settled in nicely with Cassie. The three of them got along well and Cassie appeared to be enjoying the company of the two females and Joey.

Each evening one of the men went on guard duty, patrolling around the house and looking for trouble through the night. During the days Tony was inside the house playing with Joey or feeding him or putting him down for sleep in the crib.

What he hadn’t been doing was spending any quality time alone with Mary. He missed the hours when Halena would retire for the night and he and Mary sat on her sofa and just talked.

Hell, who was he kidding? He not only missed those conversations, but he also missed tasting her lips and feeling her body warm against his own.

A fire in the dark and a tragic murder in a motel room—nothing that had occurred had lessened his desire for Mary. And nothing that had happened over the last couple of days had cleared his confusion about what exactly she wanted from him.

She’d told him she didn’t want a relationship with him and yet far too often he felt her gaze lingering on him. There was a heat in her eyes when she looked at him, an occasional wistful yearning there that made him believe she wanted him as badly as he wanted her.

He’d given her the opportunity to walk away from this whole mess more than once, but she hadn’t walked. What had kept her with him? He didn’t believe it was just her love and concern for Joey.

He mentally cursed himself for his own desires. With the potential danger that was a constant undercurrent in the air, was it any wonder she wasn’t in the mood for romance?

Once again old feelings of inadequacy filled him. Was he just not good enough for her? Was he mistaken in thinking that she wasn’t just staying for Joey, but for him as well? He just didn’t know what to believe. All he knew was that he was grateful she was still in his life.

He’d called Dillon earlier that morning to get updates on Ash and on Amy’s murder investigation. It was an understatement to say that he was disappointed with Dillon’s report.

Ash was still on the loose, apparently hiding out someplace where the authorities hadn’t been able to find him. The knife used to kill Amy had been found in the motel room but had yielded no fingerprints.

In fact, the entire room had been wiped down and interviews with other guests and motel staff had also come up empty. The bottom line was that so far they had found no evidence to help them name a specific suspect in her murder. Tony didn’t need evidence to know who was guilty.

He straightened up as Frankie approached him. “We should be able to get a frame up before nightfall,” he said. “And then hopefully within a couple of days it should be done.”

“Sounds good,” Tony replied. “I’m going to head out. I’ll check back in here tomorrow.”

Minutes later he was in his truck and headed back to the ranch, his thoughts still filled with Mary. With a guard at the house, he was back sleeping in his bunk each night and having meals in the cowboy dining room.

Still, he spent every minute of the day that he could inside with the women and his boy. His boy...he prayed it would be so. The paternity test should come in the next couple of weeks and he was surprised by how badly he wanted Joey to be his biological child. And how badly he wanted Mary to be his woman.

He scarcely recognized himself anymore. Three weeks ago he was a confirmed bachelor who had no desire to share his life with anyone. It had taken a happy little boy, the telling of his childhood misery and the nearness of a strong, beautiful woman to shift his priorities and turn his life upside down in a positive way.

When he reached the ranch, he parked his truck in the shed and then walked up to the big house. Halena sat in a chair on the back porch talking with Sawyer.

The woman wore a silver sequined beret set at a cocky angle and Sawyer wore an expression of quiet, horrified fascination. Sawyer grinned in obvious relief as Tony approached them.

“Like the hat,” Tony said.

Halena reached up and touched it with a satisfied smile. “It’s from New York City. I showed Cassie how to make my enchiladas this afternoon and this handsome cowboy and I were just talking about sex.”

“Uh...she was talking and I was mostly listening,” Sawyer said hurriedly.

Tony decided to take pity on his friend. “I saw Adam down by the shed and he needs you to help him with something.”

Sawyer gave him a grateful smile and then turned to Halena. “Guess I’d better go. It was nice talking to you.”

Tony had never seen the man move so fast as he took off across the lawn. “Were you being a bit naughty?” Tony asked the old woman.

Halena smiled like a small girl caught with her hand in the cookie jar. “Perhaps a little. He has the most beautiful blushes. By the way, Cassie was kind enough to allow me to use her printer this afternoon. I left your homework on the coffee table inside. I have not forgotten your lack of education, Tony Nakni.”

“I’ll be sure and take it with me to my bunk room when I go in a few minutes, but in the meantime I need to go inside and check on your granddaughter and Joey.”

“I’ll just sit here a bit longer and see if I can entertain myself with another one of the cowboys here.”

“Behave yourself,” Tony said with a laugh, knowing she would do no such thing.

He entered the back door and immediately smelled the scent of the cooking enchiladas and heard the sound of female voices coming from the great room.

“Hello,” he yelled, wanting them to know of his presence before he just appeared.

“In here, Tony,” Cassie called from the great room.

He entered to see Cassie and Mary seated on the sofa and several paintings leaning against the wall. Joey was on his back on a blanket on the floor with his feet in his hands. When he saw Tony, he released his feet and waved his hands wildly with excitement.

Tony leaned down and picked him up. “Hey, little man, what’s going on in here?” Joey wiggled in his arms.

“Cassie has been showing me some of her paintings,” Mary said. “She’s incredibly talented.”

Cassie’s face glowed with happiness. “We’ve come to an agreement and Mary is going to offer some of my Western-themed paintings for sale on her website.”

“That’s great,” Tony replied and sat in a nearby chair with Joey on his lap.

“It definitely gives me the incentive to pick up the paintbrushes again,” Cassie replied. “I haven’t done much painting since Nicolette and Sammy were staying here with me.”

“That’s right, Nicolette married one of your ranch hands,” Mary replied.

Cassie nodded. “Lucas Taylor. He was the first of the men to leave this ranch behind. Since then we’ve had another one leave. Forest Stevens ran off to Oklahoma City to be with his lady love. At least when Dusty and Nick found true love they didn’t stop working here.”

“Adam told us that you intend to hire on a couple of new men,” Tony said.

“We’ve got four empty rooms in the cowboy motel and plenty of work for additional hands,” Cassie replied. “I’ve got an ad for help wanted running in the paper starting next week.”

“It will be kind of strange to have new men here.” Tony shifted Joey from one thigh to the other. “It’s always just been the twelve of us. But it’s been strange since Lucas and Forest stopped working here.”

“Life brings changes,” Halena said from the doorway. “The real mark of strength comes in how you adapt to the changes.”

“And with that piece of wisdom, I’d better get to the dining room. Cookie hates it when we show up late to eat.” Tony gave Joey a kiss on the cheek and then placed him back on the blanket.

“Mary, want to walk out with me?” he asked as he picked up the pile of papers Halena had printed for him. He found himself holding his breath, just hoping for a couple of minutes of private time with her.

“Okay,” she agreed. She got up and together they walked through the kitchen and out the back door.

“Frankie thinks he’ll have things finished at the house in the next couple of days,” he said once they were outside.

She sank down on the chair where Halena had been sitting earlier. “I guess that’s good news, right?”

“Your house will be repaired, but that doesn’t mean I want us moving back in there right now. We’re far safer here and I’d like us all to remain here until Ash is finally arrested.”

“And what if weeks go by...months pass and he still isn’t in jail?” Her beautiful brown eyes stared at him intently. “Tony, we can’t stay here forever and once your vacation time is finished I think you need to find other arrangements for Joey.”

He’d known this was coming. He’d feared that eventually she’d want out. This had never been her problem. In doing him a favor she’d become embroiled in a dangerous drama she’d never asked for. What he hadn’t expected was the sharp stab of pain in his heart, the almost breathless feeling her words caused him.

He wanted to tell her how he felt about her. He wanted her to know that he loved her, but there was a distance in her eyes that kept the words trapped deep inside him.

“By the time my vacation is finished, I’ll figure something out,” he finally said.

“I just want what’s best for Joey,” she replied. “I don’t want him getting too attached to me, since I have no intention of being in his life long-term.”

Her words shot new tiny little daggers through his heart. If she didn’t intend to be in Joey’s life long-term, then she definitely had no intention to be in Tony’s life.

“That’s what I want, too,” he agreed.
You’ll never amount to anything. You’re nothing but a dirty half-breed and nobody will ever love you.
The deep, familiar voice slammed into his brain.

“Then I guess I’ll see you this evening after dinner,” he said.

“Good, you know Joey loves spending time with you.”

He gave her a curt nod, clutched the papers from Halena more tightly in his fist and then turned to head to the cowboy motel in the distance.

Chapter 12

C
assie had insisted on a special night. After a week of eating Halena’s food and them all being cooped up in the house, she’d decided it would be fun to go down to the cowboy dining room for dinner that evening.

Mary and Joey were ready and seated on the sofa waiting for Halena and Cassie. The last few days had been difficult ones. After her talk with Tony about needing him to make other arrangements for Joey when his vacation was finished, the air between them had been fraught with an uncomfortable tension she didn’t quite understand.

Surely, he hadn’t expected their arrangement to last forever and she’d made it clear to him that she wasn’t interested in a romantic relationship with him. He shouldn’t have been surprised that she’d finally put a time limit on things.

And yet his eyes now held a faint wounded look when he gazed at her. Their conversations since then had been stilted and mostly revolved around all things Joey.

That man is head over heels in love with you.

Cassie’s words had played and replayed in Mary’s mind. One minute she rejected the very idea. She told herself Tony needed her but he certainly wasn’t in love with her.

Then the next minute her heart ached for both Tony and herself because she saw his love flooding out of his eyes, she felt his love for her in his simplest touch.

But in the end, it didn’t matter whether he loved her or not. Their future was written in stone and it wasn’t one that ended with the two of them together with a happily-ever-after.

Cassie came down the stairs, looking gorgeous in a pair of designer jeans and a pink Western shirt with pearl buttons. “I had Cookie do a barbecue night for dinner,” she said. “You’re all in for a real treat. Nobody does pulled pork and baked beans like Cookie.”

“Sounds good to me,” Mary replied.

“And after dinner we have to hang around long enough for you to hear Mac sing and play his guitar. He has a wonderful voice.” Cassie smiled. “And Clay will entertain you with stories of his womanizing, which aren’t true, and Brody will brood because that’s what he does...”

“How are you ever going to leave here?” Mary asked. “You obviously have a lot of affection for all the men.”

Cassie sighed. “Why do you think I’m still here? These men were like my aunt’s sons and this is the only home they’ve known for most of their lives. When I first arrived here, my thought was to sell the place immediately and then the skeletons were found and I couldn’t sell. Now I’m just so torn between the life I thought I wanted and this place that my aunt loved so much.”

“I don’t envy you that kind of decision,” Mary said.

“I’ve already planned for a big barn dance at the end of October. I figure if I’m going to make a move, right after that would be the time, hopefully before the first snow flies.”

“Tony has told me that the men think a lot of you.”

“Are you trying to make my final decision more difficult on me?” Cassie asked with a wry grin. “I had a dream for myself for years and sometimes it’s hard to let go of dreams.”

“Trust me, I know,” Mary replied.

The conversation was halted when Halena came down the stairs. Mary was surprised that she wore a pair of jeans and a T-shirt advertising Mary’s business. Her hair was neatly braided and she looked almost normal, if one didn’t look too closely at the wicked gleam in her eyes.

“A whole room of handsome cowboys,” she exclaimed. “I can’t wait!”

“No pinching, Grandmother,” Mary warned her.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Halena replied with her dark eyes wide with innocence.

“Tony should be here anytime to escort us,” Cassie said and as if on cue Tony and Clay came through the back door.

“Are we ready for some barbecue?” Tony asked.

“Personally, I’m starving,” Mary replied.

Clay grinned. “It’s not every day I get to escort three beautiful women to dinner.”

“Down, boy,” Halena replied, making them all laugh. She grabbed the bouncy chair and minutes later they all made their way across the lawn and down a slight hill to the cowboy motel.

Both Tony and Clay had their guns in their hands, a grim reminder that, although the past week had been peaceful, Ash Moreland was still at large.

As they walked, Halena grilled Tony on Choctaw history and he passed each question with flying colors, having obviously really studied the papers she’d printed for him.

“I’m glad you passed,” Halena said. “I would’ve really hated to give up my pink hat.”

“And I really don’t want to wear it,” Tony retorted.

Before they even reached the back of the building, the savory scent of barbecue wafted in the air. “Smell that, Joey?” Mary said to the little boy in her arms. “Someday maybe you’ll be a cowboy and eat pulled pork.” He laughed and wiggled as if the very idea excited him.

When they got inside the large dining area, Tony took Joey from her and placed him in his bouncy seat and then set the seat in the center of one of the wooden tables.

They were greeted with friendliness by the other men. Throughout the week Mary had managed to put names with faces for all the ranch hands.

Several of the men beelined straight for the baby. Mary watched in amusement as Flint and Sawyer made goofy faces to Joey’s delight. There was something magical about watching grown men act like fools just to hear a baby’s laughter.

“The men waited for us to arrive so you women could go through the food line first,” Tony said.

“Then let’s go,” Halena replied.

The food was served buffet-style. There were thick rolls for the pulled pork, baked beans, coleslaw and potato salad. Dessert was either cherry or apple cobbler.

Cookie stood at the end of the table, his arms crossed and a frown on his face. He might not look friendly, but it was obvious he knew how to cook.

They filled their plates and then sat at the long picnic table, where Joey served as the centerpiece. The men were all respectful and Mary suspected they were on their best behavior, since their boss was in the house.

Once all of them had filled their plates and were seated at the tables, conversation and laughter filled the room. The food was excellent and Joey cooed and blew spit bubbles for anyone who paid attention to him.

Halena got a second helping of the cherry cobbler, and when she returned to the table, her gaze remained on Cookie. “Does he always look like he’s got a stick up his—”

“Grandmother,” Mary said sharply, cutting off Halena’s sentence.

Tony laughed. “Yeah, pretty much. I’m not sure I’ve seen him smile more than once or twice in the last fifteen years, but there’s no question that the man can cook.”

It was difficult to think about anything bad with the warmth of the company surrounding her and the obvious camaraderie in the room.

After they finished eating, some of the men moved from the tables to a recreational area, while others drifted back outside to finish up evening chores.

“Come on,” Clay said. “We’ve saved you beautiful ladies the seat of honor on the sofa.”

Tony grabbed Joey’s seat and they all got comfortable on the oversize sofa while Mac McBride pulled out his guitar and began to entertain them.

He played old standards and they all sang along. Even Halena sang loudly despite the fact that she couldn’t carry a tune if her life depended on it.

The music and the laughter created a warm bubble around Mary. She couldn’t imagine how Cassie could ever leave all this behind.

It wasn’t long before Halena stood. “I think it’s time for me to say good-night,” she said.

Cassie got up as well. “Me, too.” She looked at Mary. “But you stay and enjoy more of the fun. I’ll take Joey and give him a bottle and tuck him into bed.”

“Oh, no,” Mary protested.

“Please, Mary...stay,” Tony said softly.

“I’m sure between Cassie and me we can wrestle the little warrior into bed,” Halena said. “Relax for a while, Mary. Enjoy the rest of the evening.”

“I’ll walk you ladies back up to the house.” Sawyer stood from a folding chair where he’d been seated.

Mary watched as they left the building, feeling as if she should have gone with them, but not wanting to end the night of fun. Right now there were no concerns banging around in her head. She was just in the moment with the music and the men and the odd feeling of belonging.

Tony joined her on the sofa, his nearness as familiar to her as the beat of her own heart. Mac continued to play, this time slower songs, and when he lent his voice to the guitar, it was sheer magic.

Mary was shocked when she glanced at a clock on the wall and saw that it was just after ten. “I should go,” she said when there was a break in the music.

“And I’m done for tonight,” Mac said. He smiled at Mary. “It was nice having all of you here tonight, Mary.”

“Thanks, Mac. I appreciated being able to enjoy the entertainment. You’re so talented.”

“I’m just a cowboy who likes to strum his guitar and sing,” he replied.

“I’ll walk you back to the house,” Tony said.

Goodbyes were said all around and Tony and Mary left the dining room with several of the other men trailing behind them. “I need to stop in my room and grab a jacket,” Tony said. “I’m on night guard duty tonight and it gets cool before morning.”

Mary followed him to his room, and when he opened the door, she peeked in with interest. She was vaguely surprised that there wasn’t much to see. It was a sterile, impersonal environment for a man who had lived in the space for fifteen years.

“Maybe we could take some pictures of Joey and you could hang them on a wall,” she suggested.

“That would be nice.” He grabbed a denim jacket from the closet and then stepped back outside and closed the door. Together they started across the expanse of lawn toward the big house.

“What a nice night it’s been,” she said. It had been wonderful to cut loose just a bit and put the worries and the danger behind for a little while. The moon overhead was full, shining down a beautiful silvery light that illuminated their way.

“It was fun,” Tony agreed. His hand was on the butt of his gun and he gazed around the landscape as they walked.

Just that quickly, an edge of nervous tension returned to her. Was Ash Moreland out here right now? Hiding behind a tree? Maybe in the hayloft of the barn?

Was he watching them right this minute? Was he watching and waiting? She moved closer to Tony’s side.

“I thought maybe tomorrow I’d take you to the house so you can see all the repairs finished,” he said.

“That would be nice. I can’t believe how quickly Frankie got it all done.”

“He’s definitely good at what he does and I was lucky to catch him when he had no other jobs pending.”

As they got close enough to the house, Sawyer saw them in the yard light and began to walk toward them. “All is quiet on the home front,” he said when he reached them. “You’re on night duty?”

“That’s right,” Tony replied.

“Then I’ll see you sometime tomorrow. Good night, Mary.”

“Good night, Sawyer, and thanks.”

He gave an easy wave of his hand and then headed back to the cowboy motel. Tony and Mary arrived at the back porch. “Mary, sit with me for just a few more minutes,” he said and gestured to the two lawn chairs on the porch.

She hesitated, her desire to spend a little time with him battling with what she knew she should do. “Okay,” she finally said. “But just for a bit.” She eased down into one of the chairs and he sat next to her.

For the next few minutes they talked about the cowboys they’d had dinner with, the food they had eaten and the music that had filled the dining room.

“It would be a shame if Cassie sold this place,” she said. “There’s such a feeling of brotherhood between all of you.”

He looked out toward the cowboy motel. “We’ve been together for fifteen years. Each morning we all get up and wonder if Cassie will decide to sell and we’ll all not only lose our jobs, but also our home.”

He twisted his chair to face hers. “But in the last three weeks I’ve realized that this place is my childhood home. It’s time for me to find my grown-up home and I believe I’ve found that with you.”

Her heart stopped, leaving her not just breathless but unable to speak.
No, don’t go there
, a voice in her head cried.
Don’t say anything more, Tony. Please don’t do this.

He got up from his chair and pulled her to her feet and before she knew it, before she could protest, he was kissing her, and God help her, but she was kissing him back.

Last kiss, she told herself. This was the very last kiss she would ever share with him. This was the very last time she’d be held in his arms. She kissed him with all the passion she had inside her. She hoped to kiss him in a way that he would never forget her.

“I love you, Mary,” he said when the kiss finally ended. He took two steps back from her. “I didn’t think I knew how to love, I didn’t believe it was possible for me, but I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

He spoke quickly, as if he couldn’t get the words out fast enough. She could only stare at him in horror, wishing he’d stop.

“For years I didn’t think I was worthy of love, but my time with you and Halena and caring for Joey has made me realize I deserve this. I love you, Mary, and I know we all could have a wonderful future together.”

He stopped talking with his mouth, but his intense, tender gaze continued to speak to her of love. Her heart began to beat again, a slow rhythm of dread and of bitter regret.

She should have never kissed him. She definitely shouldn’t have kissed him like she meant it. She should have never slept with him. It had given him hope where there was none. She should have maintained a strictly professional relationship with him, one that didn’t include long, intimate talks and laughter.

“Mary, please say something.”

She wanted to escape. She wanted to weep because she was in love with him, but it was a love she would deny both of them, knowing that in the end he would run from the woman she could never be.

“Tony.” Her mouth was unaccountably dry even as she felt the hot moisture that tried to fill her eyes. “This has been a crazy ride that we’ve been on. With me helping you care for Joey I can understand why you think you might love me.”