Open Road (5 page)

Angus sat in one of Paul’s chairs, and he looked at Paul’s face. He didn’t look happy, which sucked. Angus knew Paul had gone through a divorce last summer, and he definitely understood how that felt, but he’d hoped to see Paul looking a bit less grumpy. Gave him hope that someday soon he might not still feel like he’d fallen into a black hole he couldn’t crawl out of.

“Hi, Angus,” Paul said as soon as he hung up his phone.

“Hey, Paul.”

“Listen, Angus, this isn’t easy.”

Angus knew as soon as Paul said the word “easy.” No, no he couldn’t do that to him. “Paul….”

“I know you’ve had a rough couple of months, but, man, you’ve been gone more than you’ve been here, and I know you said you were working from home, which is fine, but that’s only if you
do
the work. Projects that you’re supposed to be finishing are either late or sometimes I have to send them out to someone else to fix. I can’t work with this anymore. I really tried to put it off.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a mess.” Angus honestly wanted to cry. He felt like he was going to cry. “I just… I’m really sorry. I won’t be a mess anymore.”

“I’ve lost a few accounts, Angus. I have to let someone go, anyway. Do you honestly think it would be fair for me to do this to someone else when you haven’t been putting in the effort here?”

It sucked so hard. Paul was his friend more than a boss—they used to go out for beers and nachos sometimes after work. He’d gotten him such a nice birthday gift too. But that seemed like far more than the three months ago it had been. His birthday party and everything that had happened before it felt like another lifetime.

“No,” Angus whispered. “It wouldn’t be fair.” And it also wouldn’t be fair to Paul for him to keep making it hard. He beyond deserved to be laid off. It was probably a hell of a lot better than what would’ve happened to him at another company.

His stomach twisted, and he felt like he was going to throw up. It hadn’t been all that long since the last time Angus had thrown up. A few days tops. He struggled to a standing position and clutched at the back of the chair. He felt shaky.

“It’s definitely not fair to get rid of someone else. I understand.”

Just like with everything else lately, he barely even cared about the actual job. Sure, there was the nausea and an accompanying vague sense of panic, but he didn’t actually
want
to keep going into the office. He had some savings, he thought, and he could manage for a few months. It sucked, but whatever.

“Sorry about this. I just can’t keep you anymore,” Paul said.

“Yeah. No. It’s fine.”

Angus turned and left his ex-boss’s office. The nausea drained away, and all he felt was exhaustion, like he was underwater and the water was too heavy for him to try to make it to the surface. It was easier to sink.

He wanted to go home and drink. He wanted to strip his ill-fitting clothes off and lie back in bed. He didn’t want to go anywhere or talk to anyone. He was just so
tired.
Angus grabbed his bag and his keys from his desk and just kept walking out the door. He had to stop to hitch his pants up over his hips, but he just got in his car and drove. On the way home, he ran a red light by accident, but nothing really happened. He supposed it was a good thing he didn’t get T-boned by a truck or something.

Back in his apartment, he pulled his shirt and trousers off, slid into a pair of baggy sweats and a T-shirt, and got into bed. He answered a few insistent texts from Reece and his mom, then turned off his phone, closed his curtains, and went back to sleep.

ANGUS WOKE
up later that night and poured himself a whiskey. He downed it and poured another. It had taken more and more whiskey to make him forget lately. One drink used to be enough, then two. Now it took three to even get the edge off the humiliation a little bit. He didn’t know what he was going to do with his life. He’d gone from a serious boyfriend and a career and a nice apartment to no boyfriend, no career, and an apartment that was a disaster.

He fell back to sleep and didn’t wake again until he heard someone pounding on his door.

Angus didn’t feel like dealing with whoever it was. There weren’t too many likely options, and all of them would want him to
do
something. He squeezed his eyes closed and tried to go back to sleep. No such luck. Angus heard the door open. It was Reece, and he had a key.

Reece had come over a lot in the beginning. He’d taken care of Angus, made him soup, and let him cry on his shoulder. He’d tried to keep coming over, but Angus had pushed him away. He didn’t want to deal with Reece’s sympathy, his big, gorgeous smile, or his hugs that smelled like home. Everything Reece was highlighted what Angus was missing in his life. Reece had been stubborn at first, like only he could. But his visits had gotten less frequent lately. Just like everyone else’s.

Angus didn’t want to see Cherry either—for different reasons that included her kicking his ass out of bed and making him move on with his life. He couldn’t explain it. He just didn’t
want
to move on. He didn’t want to do anything. Angus had never felt like this in his life. He didn’t know how to get out of it.

He lay there in the dark and tried to pretend he wasn’t home. Reece, however, wasn’t stupid, and would’ve seen his car out front. He came into Angus’s room and flipped on the light.

Angus opened his eyes and sat up long enough to register the bald shock on Reece’s sweet, sincere face.

“What the hell is this?” Reece asked, gesturing at Angus’s room.

He knew it was bad—bottles, glasses, old sad clothes. Angus flinched at the shock and disappointment. Then he sighed and flopped back against his greasy pillowcase.

“Why are you here? What time is it?” Angus’s head ached.

“It’s almost noon, and I’m here because Kathy called me. They’ve been trying to get ahold of you for over a month, babe, and you’re not answering any of their calls.”

Angus had been aware of time passing as he tossed and turned all night. He’d felt the sun rise, but he didn’t realize it was already so late. He just hadn’t wanted to move.

“Kathy?”

“Your landlord, who you apparently haven’t been paying?”

“She called you? Shit.”

That was the kind of stuff Brad had always taken care of. In his… lack of giving a shit, it was the last thing Angus had thought of. Checking his messages was on that list too. And opening his mail. It was probably a good thing quite a few of his bills were withdrawn automatically.

“She didn’t know who else to call. Babe, what’s going on with you? I knew it wasn’t good, but I wanted to do what you asked and let you deal with it. You said you were
better
. What happened?”

“I don’t know, okay?” Angus rolled over and buried his head in his pillow. He had a headache, and his stomach hurt. He wanted Reece to go away, but a tiny chunk of his aching heart was glad to see him.

“Fuck.” Reece sank down onto the corner of the bed. “I’m so sorry. I knew I shouldn’t have left you to deal with all of this, but I—” He put his hands on his face.

Reece had always taken everyone’s problems to be his own. It was the first time Angus had come out of his hole long enough to be sorry for anything since January.

“It’s not your fault. I’m just a big mess.”

Reece shook his head. “I paid it… but—”

“Wait, you paid my rent?”

“Yeah. She was going to take you to court, babe. She still wants you to move out.”

“But the rent is paid.”

“She says she needs a reliable tenant.”

Fan-fucking-tastic.
He didn’t exactly have an emotional tie to the place where he got his heart ripped in half, but it wasn’t really about romance. It was about the fact that every single part of his life was a mess, and that didn’t seem to be changing anytime soon. Unless it was for the worse.

“Shit. Where am I going to go?”

Angus didn’t have the heart to tell Reece he’d lost his job. He wanted to crawl back under the covers and never come out. Or drink. Drinking had been the best thing for him lately.

“We’ll find you another place, babe.”

Yeah, he didn’t think he was going to get out of that little confession.

“I can’t find another place.”

“What do you mean? I know you didn’t pay rent here, but Kathy didn’t report it to the collections people. Your credit should be fine.”

“Yeah, but my lack of a job isn’t fine.”

“You…
shit
. You lost your job.” Reece sounded more resigned than surprised.

“Today.” Angus screwed his eyes shut and dragged his comforter over his head. “I’ve lost a lot of things lately, I guess,” he said. His voice sounded muffled and dull even to him. Exactly how the rest of him felt.

“Not me,” Reece said firmly. “You’ll never lose me. We’re going to fix this.”

Angus sort of wanted to cry. He needed another drink. Drinking was the only thing that made him forget the look on Brad’s face when he’d broken up with him—cold, distant, uninterested. He hadn’t even seemed sad. And no fucking wonder. Engaged. Engaged the next day. Every once in a while Angus wondered how long Brad had been cheating on him with twinky. Then he got the violent urge to retch and tried to think of anything else. Angus needed a drink. He threw back the comforter and stood. He felt a little wobbly at first, but then he got it together. Reece gasped. Angus supposed his T-shirt and baggy sweats didn’t do much to hide how thin he’d gotten.

“Babe, what’s happened to you?” Reece said.

Angus had been surprisingly good at avoiding his family. Reece hadn’t seen him in weeks. Angus figured he must look pretty shocking to get that reaction.

“Just not hungry ever.” Angus shrugged.

Reece was dead silent for a few long moments. “We’re going to get out of here,” he finally said.

“Where am I going to go?”

“Anywhere. You need to get out of this apartment and out of Portland.”

“What about all of this stuff?” Angus asked. “If Kathy is kicking me out, I have to deal with it.”

They both knew he wouldn’t if Reece left him to his own devices.

“Cherry will. And the moms and Pey will help too.”

“Don’t tell my mom. Please don’t tell my mom.” The thought of her finding out what he’d let his life become in a few short months was horrifying. Angus shuddered.

“We have to tell them something. Can we at least let Cherry invite Peyton in for the weekend to help?”

Angus thought about it. He supposed he didn’t have much choice. “Yeah.”

“Okay, then, you get a shower. I’m going to pack what I can in a bag. We’re probably going to have to go shopping.”

Angus knew his jeans wouldn’t fit any better than the pajamas or the trousers he’d worn to work.

“What good is leaving going to do?”

Reece looked determined. “I have no idea. But it has to be better than this. Anything would be better than this.”

REECE HAD
never been so angry in his life—mostly at himself for letting it happen. How could he not have known? He’d
believed
Angus when he’d put Reece off, said he had it all together and he was just swamped with work. Why did he believe him? Reece had never considered himself stupid. He supposed that was what happened when someone stuck their head in the sand for long enough.

Angus had been the opposite of together that day after the birthday party.

Reece remembered when Angus had seen the engagement post. He’d been cheerful enough while they ate breakfast and had their coffee, even made a few remarks about how it was a rough time for him and Brad, but they could end up together again in the future. Reece hadn’t wanted to tell him; he didn’t want to be the messenger. He hadn’t even gotten the chance. Angus went on Facebook to reply to a few birthday messages, and he’d seen it.

It.

Capital letters, outlined in red, maybe a few exclamation marks too. The status change. Reece had watched his face melt into a mask of pure devastation. He went over and wrapped his arms around Angus’s shoulders and pulled him close.

“You knew,” Angus whispered.

“I did. I’ve been trying to figure out a way to tell you since I saw it, but you beat me to it. I’m so sorry, babe.”

Angus crossed his arms on the table and let his head flop into it. “He’s fucking engaged, Reece.
Engaged
.” His voice came out muffled, like he might be crying. Reece had never heard him sound so anguished.

“Don’t look at the guy. There are pictures. Just… don’t.”

Reece leaned forward to grab Angus’s phone before he could do any more damage, but Angus snatched it out of his grasp. “Right. Like I’m not going to look at the guy after you said that.” Even in his pain, Angus managed to be snappy and sarcastic.

He clicked on Eric Taylor’s name and gasped just like Reece had. The sappy engagement pics must have been right on top of the page.

“The bastard has a type for sure. You can say that about him,” Reece muttered.

Angus merely slid down off his chair until he was slumped on the floor. “Please tell me you have some vodka. There isn’t enough alcohol in the world to make this go away.”

“You don’t need to drink, babe. You just need to work on moving on.”

“I think I want to go home,” Angus croaked.

Reece had picked Angus up the night before so he wouldn’t have to worry about driving. It was up to him to get Angus back to his apartment. Reece didn’t think that was a very good idea.

“Babe, you sure you really want to do that?”

“What? Go home? I don’t want to do anything but drown in the vat of the vomit I’m about to spew. I just need to do it alone.”

“I don’t want you to be by yourself for this. Do you want me to at least call your mom?”

They had dinner plans with the moms later that evening. If Reece had to guess, he’d imagine those plans were going to be cancelled.

“Oh for Christ’s sake, please don’t call my mom. That would be about the worst thing I can imagine.” Angus dragged himself up from the floor. “Just, take me home, please. If you won’t, I’ll walk.”

“Angus….”