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Mera paced in her rooms, worry tightening her
face and stomach. She had chewed her lip until the coppery taste of
blood spilled into her mouth.

Where was she?

Part of her longed to burst into tears,
another kept her moving, firmed her resolve. It had been four days
since her mother went into labour, four and a half. It was now the
midwinter solstice, the whole palace was pent, all celebrations and
festivities cast aside, and everywhere lay a thick, waiting
tension. Two days ago her mothers waters had broken, the midwives
had reassured her family that the labour would go swiftly from that
point on. But it had not.

When she had
been allowed to visit her mother she had found her weak and pale,
her hair sweat soaked and matted to her brow. Hard contractions had
wracked her body regularly. The midwife and healer had fed her
their own wine early on, Mera had been furious when she heard. She
had tried to tell them of the one she had given her, but they had
dismissed her as a child, saying one would do much the same as the
other. After her mother
’
s
waters broke she refused to drink anymore, saying it made her feel
sick. They had been coaxing her to drink whilst Mera was there. Her
mother had taken up the chalice and thrown it at the healer,
telling her to get out. Mera almost smiled at the memory,
almost.

She had
overheard the midwife talking to the King, saying the problem was
that her mother was not widening to allow the babes passage. Now it
was clear they were beginning to panic. Her mother
hadn
’
t eaten or slept at any
point, she was becoming increasingly weak. She heard them speak of
poppy and blades. She knew mamma could die if the babe
didn
’
t come soon, that both
mother and babe could die. The tears threatened once
more.

She
wouldn
’
t
let that happen. She had seen the herbs they had given her,
none were what Cerid had told her of. Some were beneficial, yes,
but not the best. Earlier her mind had shifted to something Cerid
had told her of and in her desperation she had sent Tansy to fetch
them. Her maid had not argued, but she left with red rimmed
eyes.

Where was she?

Her door opened and Mera spun round, rushing
to meet Tansy in the hallway.

“
Do you have
them?
”

“
Yes, yes! I
picked the best ones I could find, only the bushes closest to heat
of the kitchens had any left, I thought for a moment I would have
to find some dried.
”

As soon as
Mera had heard the yes, she grabbed
Tansy
’
s arm and pulling her
toward the door. Soon they were rushing down the halls, heading up
the few flights that led to her
mother
’
s rooms. Those they
passed spared taunt glances their way, sympathy vying with the fear
that some new and terrible news hurried their footsteps. The guards
immediately let her through. In the formal parlour Llew sat by the
window, when he looked at her she could see him pale and worn,
gangling limbs tucked all askew. The king sat at the table,
slouched, his face long and drawn, beard and hair unkempt, clothes
unchanged now for days. A healer and the midwife was standing
before him, talking quietly. At her entrance he looked up and Mera
saw despair on his face, his eyes hollowed and dark with a
threatening grief. She remembered then that
Llew
’
s mother had died in
childbirth, taking what would have been a daughter with her to the
Otherside. She felt a flash of sympathy, but
didn
’
t let it
settle.

“
I need to
see my mother.
”

The women looked at her in annoyance at her
rude interruption, but the King just stared at her for a moment, a
painful sympathy written there. He nodded.

It was enough. She stalked through the door,
Tansy at her heels. As they had agreed earlier, the door was closed
firmly behind them. Immediately Tansy began to look by the drinks
cabinets, searching for the wine Mera had prepared. She trusted her
to gather what was needed.

Mera walked
through another door, the one that led to her
mother
’
s bedroom. A window
was thrown open to permit cold gusts of wind and sleet, whilst a
steady fire burned in the hearth. The bed had been stripped down to
simple white sheets and coverlet. Her mother was standing, shakily,
over a chest of draws. Her hands white knuckled where she gripped
it, bent at the waist and panting. Mera immediately went to her,
firmly rubbing circles on her lower back. Her mother had said it
helped last time. When the contraction had passed, her mama looked
at her with her beautiful brown and green eyes, lines of fatigue
framing them. She spared her a small smile, trying to push her hair
away from her face.

“
Help me sit,
daughter.
”

Mera led her to the bed, helping her to lower
herself down. When she was finally comfortable, enthroned on
pillows, she let out a sigh, heavy. Closing her eyes, her hands
continuously moving over her belly. Tansy entered, relief on her
face as she held the wine. She set about putting it in a warming
pan over the fire, stirring in plenty of honey as instructed.

“
Mama?
I
’
ve bought you some wine,
and a little fruit. You need to keep up your
strength.
”

Her mothers
eyes opened, one hand seeking Mera
’
s.
“
No, no more of
that foul concoction. I cannot think with it, it makes me feel
sick. I am not hungry. Please, my sweet Meredith, my little wild
girl, sit with me. I need to tell you
…”

“
No. No, you
can tell me once the babe is here, once you have your strength
back. It isn
’
t
healer
’
s wine, I promise. I
prepared it, it
’
s your
favourite, with plenty of honey. It
’
s midwinter, did you know? You must have a glass. And at
least eat a little, just a few berries. Please mama,
please...
”

Mera
hadn
’
t meant to sound so
forlorn at the end, but she couldn
’
t help it. Seeing her mother like this, knowing she thought
she would die
…
suddenly the
tears fell and she couldn
’
t
stop them. Her mother
’
s hand
rose to wipe them away.
“
Meredith, Mera, I will take a little.
Don
’
t
cry.
”

Mera
unwrapped the hanky Tansy had wrapped them in, revealing seven fat
juniper berries. She took up one and placed it in her
mother
’
s mouth. Slowly and
dutifully her mother chewed and swallowed all seven. Tansy passed
her a goblet of the wine warmed with angelica, and her mother sat
and sipped. She even gave a small
laugh.
“
Well, this tastes
much better than the other, thank you, I
…”

Her mother
gasped, Mera quickly took the goblet away from her, holding her
hand tight as another contraction hit. This one was longer than the
last. When it had passed she gave her back the goblet and
encouraged her to drink. They sat like this for some time, mostly
in silence, holding hands. Mera wiping her mothers brow with a cool
cloth, for an hour then two. A few times the healer walked in to
ask if her mother was well, or as well as she was. During this time
contractions came and went. It seemed to Mera they were getting
longer, harder for her mother, and she embraced the quiet that
Cerid had instilled and sought to gentle her
mother
’
s pain. Soon she was
asking Mera to help her up, to turn around onto all fours. Her
forehead rested on the sheets, her hands near tearing the cloth
with each wave. Mera thought there was more colour to her
cheeks.
“
Send for the
midwife, I
…
..ah, I want to
bear down. I think it
’
s
time.
”

Tansy rushed
from the room, wearing a fragile hope on her face and Mera rubbed
her mother
’
s back as another
contraction hit, on the very tail of the last. Her mother writhed
and cried out, and fluids ran down her legs. Blood, and a thicker
yellow substance. A pungent odour hung on the air. The midwife and
healer entered. She immediately moved to her
mother
’
s rear and
unceremoniously lifted her night dress. She let out a pleased
humph, her hands seeking below.
“
I can feel the babe
’
s head, well done, my Queen. You are doing beautifully.
It
’
s time now, you need to
push dear, push with the next. I know you are tired, but it
won
’
t be long
now!
”

Even as the
midwife was talking another wave rolled over her mother, Mera could
see her exposed stomach roll and roil. She knew what happened
during birth, but seeing it like
this
…
why would women want to
go through it?

As the
contraction passed they moved her onto her back. The healer
supporting her legs, the midwife manipulating her opening. Her
mother turned a slick face to her, eyes beseeching.
“
Please stay, my daughter, my,
please
…
ah!
”

Her mother gripped her hand so tight Mera was
sure it would break, but she held on. Returning that grip and
giving her mother something solid to cling to as creation cleaved
her mortal flesh.

Llew sat and
watched his father. He paced, then he sat, pulling his hair, only
to pace again. He was white as the dead and seemed almost angry in
his worry. Llew was rather frightened of him in that moment. He had
been like this since Mera
’
s
maid had rushed in to take the healers. Before that they had been
telling them that if the Queen started to fade, their only option
would be to accept the her death, but perhaps save the babe by
cutting him out. Llew had felt sick listening to them. Is this how
his mother had died? He rarely thought of her,
couldn
’
t really remember
her, but watching his father
’
s agony and hearing the screams that filtered through to
them
…
he felt his lip
tremble. Tears slowly seeped down his face. He
didn
’
t know what to
do.

The screams
reached a crescendo, then ceased. His father and he both froze,
staring at the door that blocked them. The long and terrible moment
held then there was a babble of voices. An undertone of surprise, a
bleating squalling sound. The sound of a new born. His
father
’
s face flushed with
relief only to have a darkness sink into it as he stood, quivering,
before the door. One hand resting just above the handle. They
started as the door swung open. Llew looked up into the formidable
face of the healer, who beckoned them forward. His father rushed
past, not bothering to let her show them the way. Llew jogged to
keep up.

Jessamine sat
propped on pillows, in her arms a naked and blood slicked babe with
a little fist waving in the air. Mera turned at their
entrance
…
with a little
bundled babe in her arms too. He could see a small face blinking up
at her, hands clasping her fingers. Mera bestowed them with a
beautiful smile, placing the babe in his
father
’
s arms. He let out a
sound close to a sob, staring down, and moved slowly to
Jessamine
’
s side. Llew felt
drawn with him.
“
Twins? We
have two?
”

“
Yes Gallai,
I was surprised too. This one here, he came first, and she came
next, almost straight away. She was holding on to his
ankle.
”
Jessamine's voice
came throaty and with the lightness of unreality that comes from
knowing great pain.

His father
looked down at the little girl in his arms, a smile sundering his
beard. He turned that proud gaze on Llew.
“
Would you like to hold your
sister?
”

Llew swallowed hard and nodded. Awkward at
first as his father placed the tiny babe in his arms. As he watched
his father reach for his newborn son, a small mewl dragged his
attention down.

She was so
tiny, he couldn
’
t believe
how small. A thick head of dark hair, some curls wisping out
between some gross white gunk that coated her in places and her
head was a funny shape, sloped and lumpy. He thought she looked
strange. He loosened the blanket and tentatively stroked the back
of one tiny, delicate little hand. That hand startled under his
touch and wrapped around his finger, barely able to hold it all.
Her eyes fluttered and met his, dark and huge they seemed in that
tiny face. Llew felt his throat close sharply, and tears well up as
amazement flooded him. Suddenly she
didn
’
t looked strange at
all. He looked up to find Jessamine watching him, smiling with
shared joy, tears streaked her face too, but they were laughing
when the little girl started to noisily suck his fingers. Jessamine
spoke, her voice heavy with fatigue and joy.
“
They shall be named Dittander and
Dittany.
”