I grasped his wrists. They were so thick that my fingers barely met. “But what…what if I was okay with it?”
“You’re not okay with it, Kat.” His belief in that statement, in me, rang true in his voice, and I couldn’t understand that blind faith. “I know you’re not.”
“How can you be so sure?” I whispered.
Daemon smiled a little. Not a full breathtaking kind of smile, but it still reached down into me, wrapping around my heart. “I know you’re good inside. You’re warmth and light and everything I don’t deserve, but you—you believe that I deserve you. Knowing all that I have done in my past to other people and to you, you still believe I deserve you.”
“I—”
“And that’s because you’re good inside—you’ve always been and will be.” His hands slipped down my throat, to curve around my shoulders. “There is nothing you can say or do that will change that. So grieve what you
had
to do. Mourn it, but never, ever blame yourself for things that are beyond your control.”
I didn’t know what to say.
His smile slipped into that smug half grin that infuriated and thrilled me. “Now get the rest of that crap out of your head, because you’re so much better than that; you’re more than that.”
His words, well, they may not have washed away everything and they may not have changed the part in me that wasn’t as perfect as he thought, but they wrapped around me like a soft down comforter. They were enough for that moment to…to understand what I had done and that was important, that was enough. There weren’t any words for how much I appreciated what he said and what he had done. A thank-you wasn’t enough.
Still shaking, my hands balled up into those tiny knots, I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his. His fingers tightened around my shoulders as his chest rose sharply. I tasted my own salty tears on his lips and as the kiss deepened, I tasted my own fear.
But there was more.
There was our love—there was our hope that we’d walk out of this with a future. There was our acceptance of each other—the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. There was so much pent-up longing. So much emotion that it packed a sucker punch straight to my soul and his, I knew it, because I could feel his heart rate picking up. Mine matched his—made for his. All of that was in a simple kiss and it was too much, not enough, and just perfect.
I pulled back, drawing in a sharp breath. Our eyes locked. A wealth of emotion shone in his brilliant green eyes. He cupped my cheek with one hand tenderly, and he spoke in his lovely language. It sounded like three lyrical words—a short, beautiful verse.
“What did you say?” I asked, my fingers loosening around the cover.
His smile was secretive and then his lips were on mine again and my eyes drifted shut. I let go of the blanket, felt it slip away, pool around my hips, and I felt Daemon stop breathing for a moment.
He guided me back, and I wrapped my arms around him. We kissed for what felt like an eternity and that wasn’t long enough. I could keep going, never stop, because in that moment, we created a world where nothing else existed. We lost ourselves in each other for a while and time, it sped and crept by in the same instance. We kissed until I was breathless, pausing only to explore each other. We were warm and flushed, twisting against each other. My body arched against his and when I moaned, he stilled.
He lifted his head but said nothing. Stared for so long and so hard that every point in my body seemed stretched too far. My chest squeezed. I reached up, placing my trembling hand on his cheek.
His head dipped against my cheek, and his voice was rough and raw. “Tell me to stop and I will.”
I wasn’t going to. Not now. Not after everything. There was nothing to deny anymore, and my answer was to kiss him, and without words, he understood.
He settled over me, not touching, not quite. The electricity between us snapped and pulled. A wild feeling pulsed through me. I lifted my hands, sinking them into his hair, pulling him closer. I swept my lips over his, and his body trembled. His fiery eyes drifted shut as my thumb moved on his bottom lip. My hands were on the move, slipping over the thick cords in his neck and back, around his chest and down. Lower, over the hard planes of his stomach. He sucked in a sharp breath.
The edges of his body started to glow, casting the room in a soft light. Heat rolled off his body. Daemon’s eyes snapped open and he sat up, pulling me into his lap. His eyes were no longer green, just orbs of pure light. My heart tripped over itself. A fire started in my stomach, spreading through me like a wave of lava.
His hands trembled on my hips and the sudden onslaught of fresh, unbridled power washed over me. It was like touching fire or being hit by a thousand volts of electricity. It was exhilarating.
I’d never been more excited, more ready.
When his lips met mine, a thousand emotions erupted in me. His taste was delicious and addictive. I pressed against him, our kisses deepening until I was swimming in heady sensations that beat against every pore in my body. Everywhere we touched my skin came alive. His lips trailed a fiery path from mine to the column of my throat. All around us, his light flickered, like a thousand stars lining the walls, fading in and out.
Our hands were everywhere. His fingers were on my stomach, moving up, between my ribs. There seemed to be something slower about this. Each touch was measured and precise. Breathing became difficult as our explorations grew. This was definitely not his first time at any of this, but he didn’t rush and he shook as much as I did.
His jeans ended up somewhere on his floor and our bodies were flush. Hands delving lower and lower. Daemon took his time even when I was pushing him to go faster. He slowed it down, made it last for what felt like forever…until neither of us could wait any longer. I remembered what Dee had said about her first time. There was no awkwardness here. Most things were expected. Daemon had protection and there was
discomfort
…at first. Okay. It hurt, but Daemon… He made it
better
. And then we were moving against each other.
Being this way with him was like tapping into the Source but more powerful. The roller-coaster feeling was there, but different and deeper, and he was right there with me. It was more than perfect and beautiful.
After what felt like hours later and honestly could’ve been, Daemon kissed me softly, deeply. “Are you okay?”
My bones felt like mush in a totally good way. “I’m perfect.” And then I yawned, right in his face. How romantic.
Daemon busted into laughter, and I turned my cheek into the pillow, trying to hide. He didn’t let me, though. As if I expected anything less. He rolled onto his side, pulling me against him, tilting my head toward his.
His eyes searched mine. “Thank you.”
“For what?” I loved the feel of his arms around me and how I fit against him, hard against soft.
He trailed his fingers over my arm, and I was amazed by how he could make me shiver. “For everything,” he said.
Elation swelled inside my chest, and as we lay in each other’s arms, our breaths coming out ragged, our bodies tangled together, we still couldn’t get enough of each other. We kissed. We talked. We
lived.
Chapter 34
When I left Daemon’s house early Sunday morning, he stayed with me until he heard my mom’s car pull up the driveway. Then he did that freaky, super speed alien thing and got out without being seen. But while he’d lay there in bed beside me, apparent that he didn’t want to leave me alone after what happened with Will, I never felt safer in my life. Sex had nothing to do with that, but when he came back in the afternoon and we left to get lunch for us and my mom, every small look and brush of our skin meant something infinitely more—a tender and knowing quality that had been there before, but was emphasized.
I didn’t look any different. Part of me thought it would be posted on my forehead or something and I was half afraid that my mom would somehow guess and then we’d have that mortifying birds and the bees’ conversation again, but she didn’t.
Life went on and for a little while. It was the same… a little better in some areas, but over the next week, Daemon and I had very little time together. No one talked about Will with the exception of asking if I was okay. Even Andrew had asked and sounded genuine. Other than that, it was like that event never happened. There was a really good chance that Daemon had something to do with that.
Our practices had increased with Dawson, Matthew, and Blake, and they also included the rest of our crew. Everyone knew their plan. Everyone also knew that we wouldn’t get another chance after Sunday if we failed.
We were already pushing our luck.
Blake stood apart from the group. He’d been that way since I’d confronted him about his creepy, stalkerish behavior… Thank God. “The time frame is still the same. We have fifteen minutes to get in and get out with them.”
“And if anything goes wrong?” Dee asked, nervously twirling her hair around her faded fingers.
Daemon picked up a piece of Onyx. All of us at this point could handle it for about a minute and twenty seconds. And with the tiny piece of opal, it didn’t even bother Daemon and I.
“We’ll be fine with the onyx shields.” He tossed the rock back into the pile. “Each of us can withstand it long enough.”
“But it’s not being sprayed in your faces,” Dee protested, eyes wide. “You’re just handling it.”
Blake inched closer. “It was never sprayed in my face. All I did was handle it over and over again. It’s the only logical explanation.”
“No. It’s not.” She let go of her hair and faced her brothers. “Handling onyx and having a tolerance is one thing. Having it sprayed in your face is totally different.”
Dee had a point, but it was all we could do.
Dawson smiled for her and it was always strange to me when he did smile, because it was so rare to see a real one, and it transformed his face. “We’re going to be okay, Dee. I promise.”
“And the lasers—you have the lasers to watch out for,” Andrew threw in, grimacing.”
“No doubt,” Blake said. “But they shouldn’t be an issue. The emergency doors are activated only when the alarm goes off and if everything goes smoothly, we’ll be fine.”
“That’s a big if,” Dee muttered.
Heck ya, it was a huge if, but we were in this to the end. Just looking at Dawson reaffirmed why we were about to put our lives on the line again. Because I knew beyond a doubt, if it were Daemon locked in Mount Weather, I’d take as many risks as there were to free him.
Part of Dawson was missing and the other half was Beth. None of us could expect him to walk away from this. And all of us would go to the end of the earth for the ones we loved.
After another grueling session with the onyx, we called it a night and gimped back to the houses. Matthew and the Thompsons left, as did Blake. Dee went inside while the three of us lingered and finally Dawson disappeared somewhere around the side of the house.
Daemon took my hand and sat on the third step up, pulling me down between his legs, so that my back was against his chest. “You feeling okay?”
“Yes,” I said. It was the same question he asked every, single time after practice. And yeah, I sort of loved him for that. “You?”
“You don’t need to worry about me.”
I rolled my eyes, but leaned back, liking the feel of his chest and the way his arms circled me. He dipped his head, pressing his lips against my pulse. I could tell where his mind was going and I was on board that train.
Dawson reappeared, the fading sun casting a halo around him. That train came to a crashing halt. He shoved his hands into his jeans and rocked back on heels, not saying a word.
Daemon sighed and straightened. “What is it?”
“Nothing,” he said, eyes squinting at the rapidly darkening sky. “I was just thinking.”
We waited quietly, because we both knew that Dawson couldn’t be rushed. He’d say whatever it was he wanted to say when he was ready. Again, I found myself wondering what he was like before all this terrible stuff had happened to him.
Finally, Dawson said, “You guys don’t need to do this on Sunday.”
Daemon’s arms fell away. “What?”
“You guys shouldn’t have to do this. Dee’s right. It’s too much of a risk. We don’t know if we really are going to be able to walk past those onyx shields. Who knows what Blake’s deal is really? This doesn’t involve you all.”
Dawson looked at us then, expression full of sincerity. “You shouldn’t be doing this. Let Blake and I go in. It’s our risks to take.”
Daemon fell silent for several moments. “You’re my brother, Dawson, so whatever risk is yours, it is mine.”
I smiled, tipping my head back. “And whatever risk is Daemon’s, is mine.”
“
That
I don’t agree with, but you get what we’re saying?” Daemon placed his hands on my shoulders. “We’re in this together, for the good and the downright crappy.”
Dawson’s lashes lowered. “I don’t want to see either of you two get hurt. I don’t think I could live with that.”
“We’re not going to get hurt,” Daemon said, so strongly that there was no doubt in my mind that he believed this to be true. His hands landed on my shoulders, gently rubbing the tensed muscles. “All of us are going to walk out of there, along with Beth and Chris.”
Pulling his hands out of his pocket, Dawson thrust them through his hair. “Thank you.” His lips twitched as he lowered his hands. “You know, I’m going… I’m going to have to leave afterward? Maybe… I can finish out the semester, but Beth and I will have to leave.”
Daemon’s hands stilled and I felt his heart trip over itself, but then his hands started up again. “I know, brother. We’ll make sure that Beth is hidden until you’re ready to leave. It’s going to suck, but… but I know what you have to do.”
His brother nodded. “We’ll stay in touch.”
“Of course,” Daemon said.
Lowering my gaze, I bit my lip. Man, I sort of wanted to start balling. Their family shouldn’t be split up again. All of this because of what they were and none of them brought this on themselves. It wasn’t fair.
Worst of all, it didn’t seem like there was anything we could do about it.
…
Thursday evening, after another skin-numbing training session, Daemon and I caved to our mad sugar need by hitting up the local fast-food joint—sweet tea for the win. Instead of going in, he lowered the latch on the back of his SUV and we chilled out.
The skies were clear and the glimmering stars started to fill up the heavens. Whenever I looked at the stars, I thought of Daemon and his kind.
He elbowed me playfully. “What are you thinking?”
I grinned around the straw. “Sometimes I forget what you are, but then I see those stars, and I remember.”
“Do you forget what you are?”
Laughing, I lowered my cup. “Yeah, I guess I do.”
“Nice.”
I swung my feet back and forth. “But seriously, I really do. I think that if the public knew about you guys, they’d get used to the Luxen.”
“Really?” He sounded shocked.
I shrugged. “You guys really aren’t any different.”
“Besides the whole glowworm thing,” he teased.
“Yeah, besides that.”
He chuckled and leaned in, rubbing his chin along my shoulder like a big cat. Thinking he’d like the idea of him being compared to a lion or something, I grinned. “I want you to carry the opal on you on Sunday,” he said.
“What?” I pulled away and twisted toward him. “Why? You’re the stronger one out of all of us.”
A cocky grin appeared. “And that’s why I don’t need the opal.”
“Daemon.” I sighed, handing over the rest of the tea. He took it. “Your logic fails. Because you are stronger, the opal will do more for you than any of us.”
He sipped the tea, his eyes practically twinkling. “I want you to wear the opal in case anything goes wrong. I’m not arguing with you.”
“Whatever.” I crossed my arms.
“And if you don’t agree, I’ll tie you up—and not in the fun way—and lock you in your bedroom.”
My mouth dropped open.
“Okay, maybe in the fun way. Like later, after everything is done, I’ll come back and—”
I cut him off. “I’d like to see you try to tie me up.”
His eyebrow arched. “I bet you would.”
“Shut up,” I growled. “I’m being serious.”
“So am I. You’re wearing the opal.”
I scowled. “This makes no sense.”
“It makes perfect sense.” He kissed my cheek. “Because I’m perfect.”
“Oh, dear God.” I elbowed him, and he laughed. I turned my gaze back to the starry sky and then it hit me like a cement truck. How could we have not thought about this before? “I have an idea!”
“Does it involve getting naked?”
I elbowed Daemon. “God. No. You’re such a perv. It involves the opal. What if we can break it up into pieces and share it between us?”
His brows furrowed in concentration. “It could work, but it’s a huge risk. What if we shatter the rock? I doubt it would work in powder form. And even if we did manage to break it into pieces, will it still be effective?”
All good questions. “I don’t know, but can’t we try? Then everyone is protected, at least some.”
He didn’t say anything for a long moment. “It’s so much of a risk. I’d rather know that you’re protected instead of hoping that you are. And I know that makes me sound selfish, but I am. I am
incredibly
selfish when it comes to you.”
“But Dawson…?”
Daemon looked at me. “Like I said, I’m incredibly selfish when it comes to you.”
I honestly didn’t know what to say.
He sighed as he rubbed his palm along his jaw. “If we ended up destroying the piece of opal, then you go in there with nothing backing you up. Matthew, Dawson, and I are Luxen. We are going to be stronger than you. We won’t tire as easily. We don’t need the piece of opal, not like you do.”
“But—”
“I’m not willing to risk it. If breaking up the opal weakens it, then how does it really help you out?” He shook his head. “We don’t need the extra boost. You do.”
My shoulders slumped at the finality in his words. Frustration swelled inside me. It wasn’t that I didn’t get what he was saying, we just didn’t agree.
Later on, Daemon retrieved the opal from wherever his hidey-hole was and pressed it into my palm, wrapping his hand around mine as we stood on my porch. Night birds sung out around us, a canopy of chirps and calls. The spring roses I’d planted after school a week before filled the air with a clean, fresh scent.
It would be romantic if I didn’t want to punch him in the face.
“I know you’re mad.” His eyes met mine. “But this makes me feel better about everything. Okay?”
“A few days ago you told Dawson that nothing was going to go wrong.”
“I did, but just in case… I want you to be able to get out no matter what.”
My heart stuttered. “What…what are you saying?”
He smiled, but it was forced and I hated it. “If something goes wrong, I want you to get out of there. If you have to leave this damn town or state, do it. And if for whatever reason I can’t get out of there, you don’t stop. Do you understand?”
Air rushed out of my lungs painfully. “You want me to leave you?”
Daemon’s eyes were brilliant as he nodded. “Yes.”
“No,” I cried out, wrenching away. “I will never leave you behind, Daemon.”
He clasped my cheeks, holding me still. “I know—”
“No you don’t!” I grasped his wrists, my fingers biting into his skin. “Would you leave me behind if something happened to me?”
“No.” His face twisted into a fierce scowl. “I would never do that.”
“Then how can you ask me to do the same?” I was close to tears, mainly because I couldn’t bear the idea of Daemon being captured, suffering what his brother had. “You can’t.”
“I’m sorry.” The lines of his face softened and he bent his head, quickly kissing me. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have asked you to do that.”
I blinked furiously. “How could you even consider asking me to do something like that?” Now I really wanted to sock him, because my heart was racing and terrible, horrific images were in my head. But then…then I realized something.