Only Yesterday (60 page)
Aside from that ancestor, Balak had other relatives who were also famous for their exploits, like those who aided the Sages and Rabbis of the Ashkenazim in their war against the secular schools. And when Ludwig August Frankel ascended to the Land to establish schools in Jerusalem, some of them volunteered their tails and the Sages and Rabbis tied notes to them saying, I am Ludwig Frankel excommunicated and ostracized; and moreover, the dogs behaved more heroically than the humans, for when Frankel complained to the consuls, most of the disputants withdrew and said they had had no part in that, while Balak’s relatives didn’t withdraw, and moreover
they carried their tails with pride, and when the humans wanted to take the notes off them, they barked. As a result of that, in the days when the wife of the Rabbi of Brisk, may she rest in peace, ruled, some of Balak’s relatives helped her in her war against the enlightened. The historian will have to conduct an exhaustive study to de-termine where the adventures of human beings end and the adventures of dogs begin.
Study of Impurity
1
I
But from the day Balak was exiled from Meah Shearim and bereft of his livelihood and wandered from place to place and from neighborhood to neighborhood and from quarter to quarter and from na-tion to nation and from sect to sect, an intelligent mind entered into him and he started thinking thoughts, like tourists and travelers. But tourists and travelers see every part of the world as different from every other part and creatures in the world as different from one another, while Balak saw the world as one whole. The earth is the same everywhere, said Balak, and there is no distinction between the peo-ple of this place and the people of that place. And if there is a difference, it is an external difference, for the end of every creation is flesh and bone, that is sustenance, whether they say a blessing over slaughter like the Jews, and say Who hath sanctified us with his commandments and commanded us to slaughter, or say a blessing like the Karaites, who say, Who allowed us to slaughter, or say a blessing like the Ishmaelites, who bless in the name of the merciful and com-passionate Allah, or they slit the neck like all other nations, they all intend the same thing, sustenance.
Ever since the day Balak came to that worthless knowledge, he didn’t regard the rich more than the poor or the boors more than the sages. Things came to such a pass that he didn’t make any distinction between those clothed in rabbinical garb and those in dung and straw. Said Balak, Both the former and the latter intend the same thing and both the former and the latter shout give, give, arf arf, but the latter take their food with the toil of their arms and with the labor of their hands, and the former by grace of their long garments and
I
499
their fedoras. But he was very clever and concealed his thoughts in his heart so that he wouldn’t end up like those dogs whose mouths are muzzled. And when he restrained his wisdom, his head became like a beehive, until it was amazing how this simple creature could exist. To his thoughts he added his dreams. We already said that Balak was wont to dream a lot of dreams and to forget them immediately, but sometimes he remembered them. And when he remembered he would think they were actual events that had happened. But dreams sometimes have a bit of truth, whereas most studies of them are nonsense. And it wasn’t enough that Balak held onto his nonsense, but he attached hypotheses to them and hypotheses to hypotheses and worked out systems and reinforced them with systems weaker than they were.
There is a view among dogs that they too were once human creatures, but because they revolted against their master, he turned them into dogs. Some of them repented and were restored to their original form, and some of them maintained their rebellion and remained dogs. Needless to say, this view has no scientific support. And scholars now agree that the dog came from the fox or from the wolf or from the hyena or from some primeval dog who is extinct now. It seems that the dogs heard the rumor about Nebuchadnezzar, who was turned into a bear and repented and went back to being a man. The dogs latched onto that tale and translated it for themselves. We don’t know if it was out of extreme naïveté that Balak held that view or out of conviction, for he saw many human creatures who had a ca-nine temperament.
I
From that view, he came to a worse view about the story of creation. And why do we mention it if it is incorrect? If another sage comes and says, I know that from tradition, we will tell him, It was the words of Balak the dog you heard.
In the beginning was the camel. Once he ate a field of prickly pears, and another field and another field. His belly exploded and he died. All the livestock, animals, birds, insects, and reptiles gathered in his belly. Vegetarians lived on the vegetables that remained in his belly, carnivores lived on his meat. And since they didn’t spare him and ate his flesh, they became cruel. At last, nothing was left but the bowels of the camel. Came the pig and ate the bowels. At last nothing was left of the camel but his skin. Came the mice to nibble on his skin. The dog and the vulture stood to guard it from the mice, the dog down below and the vulture up above. They stood one day and two days and three days, until seven days. They grew impatient and became bored. They started playing with the skin. This one pulled it this way and that one pulled it that way. The skin stretched and became the firmament. It rose up and stretched over the earth, for the firmament is wont to be up above. The dog saw and was amazed. He said to the vulture, What is that? Said the vulture, I’ll go and see. He spread his wings and began flapping them. That created a wind that stirred up the whole world. The dog shuddered and pounded the ground with his tail. The whole land became mountains and valleys and dales and rifts. The dog shouted from the earth and the vulture shrieked in the air. The firmament grew frightened and wept. From its tears, the whole land was filled with water. Came livestock and animals and birds to drink until they drank up all the water and there was no more water left except the water in the seas and the streams and the rivers and the springs. As they drank they kicked their feet. The earth was plowed and brought up grass and trees. And the firmament went on weeping. With his wings, the vulture dried the eyes of the firmament and wiped away its tears. The firmament dried up and the world was about to be destroyed. They came to the dog. The dog sent to the vulture. The vulture wrapped himself in his wings and wasn’t responding. Once again he wrapped himself and wasn’t responding. He said to the dog, If my prayer doesn’t work, perhaps your teeth will. Come and I’ll ride you on my wings and you’ll rise with me to the firmament and bite it the same way you bit that Arab merchant. Once an Arab merchant brought a waterskin to Jerusalem. You bit the skin and the skin brought down tears. The dog rode on the back of the vulture up to the firmament, the dog bit the firmament and the firmament began weeping. The whole land was soaked with its tears and filled with water. From those bites, the firmament was cracked and the moon and the stars
emerged. That’s why when the moon comes out, all the dogs bark, for the dogs remember all the efforts of their forefather, the Great Dog, and they shout.
At first, when Balak dwelt among the Jews and adhered to the ideas of his forefathers, he believed like all Jerusalem that the rains come only when the Shofar is blown, and when the rains stop, they take up the Shofar and blow, and the whole firmament starts trembling and bringing down rain. Some of it the land drinks and brings out bread for human beings, some of it livestock and animals and birds drink so their flesh will be sweet to human beings. Ever since the day Balak was exiled from his place and the faith of his forefathers shattered in him, he denied the power of human creatures and took issue with those who say that everything created in the world is created only for human beings. Said Balak, It’s enough for man that he is like a dog and like all other creatures. And what led Balak to that conclusion? They said, Once seventy died in Jerusalem from dog bites. Said Balak, Where is the strength of man and where is the power of his awe? And there are those who say, He saw people behaving like animals. So, he went and sinned.
I
When does Balak deny the valor of human beings? When no person is before him. When Balak sees a person before him holding a stick in his hand, his mind immediately becomes meek and his spirit is humiliated and he subjugates himself before him and flatters him. How awed is Balak of man? There was a convert in Balak’s neighborhood, the convert saw Balak and his writing, he went and de-nounced him to the Gentiles and they wanted to kill him. That convert is a worthless person, they don’t even believe his faith, but they accepted his testimony and were prepared to kill a creature on his say-so.
Balak shouts in torment, Oh, why am I hounded out of the whole world, everyone who sees me wants to kill me. Did I ever do anybody any harm, did I ever bite any one of them. So why do they hound me and not leave my bones alone. Balak complains to Heaven and shouts, Arf arf, give me a place to rest, give me righteousness and justice. And when Balak’s shout is heard, they assault him with stones and sticks. Balak bites the stones and the dirt and screams. The stones and dirt say, Why are you shouting at us? Do we have a choice? Evil humans hurl us and do with us whatever their hearts desire. If it’s revenge you want, go and bite them. Says Balak to the dirt and stones, Do you think I’m a mad dog to go and bite hu-mans? The dirt and stones say to Balak, Then, go and complain to them. Says Balak, Do they want to hear complaints, you didn’t hear them saying whichever is stronger can take possession. The dirt and stones say, In that case, show them your strength. Says Balak to himself, Maybe they’re right and I can rely only on my own strength. Great is the strength, for just bringing it out imposes fear. And what is the strength of a dog? To bark. A dog has to bark even if no one is attacking him. It’s a shame for a dog to shout just when humans come upon him, as if barking depends on humans, but rather you should shout whenever you want to. Just as man is scared of the strength, so he is scared of the voice. Moreover, superior is the voice that frightens even from a distance.
Balak began shouting. Sometimes he shouted sporadically and sometimes he shouted incessantly. If he stopped, he stood amazed, imagining that his voice had got rusty. Said Balak to himself, Why did my voice get rusty? Because I don’t use it enough, so I shall shout again until it gets strong again. He barked and shouted and whined day and night, whether there was a man or whether there wasn’t. He who didn’t hear Balak’s groans, may he not hear them. Even dogs were shocked by his voice. And once upon a time, Balak was wooing a bitch. When he jumped at her, she leaped onto the top of the rock and fell down and died.
Balak wanted to shut his mouth and subdue his groaning, but habit does a lot. At first, it was he who ruled his voice, now his voice ruled him. He shouted and his tail was between his legs and he walked on the side for fear of the Angel of Death, for Balak was afraid they would poison him like a pig that strayed among the Ishmaelites. From now on, he kept away from all food and drink lest they had put a drug of death in it. Of all deaths, the one Balak feared most was death by poison, for if he was healthy in his body and healthy in
his limbs, suddenly the Angel of Death would come from his guts as if he himself had lodged him there.
Said Balak to himself, Woe unto me from the Jews and woe unto me from the Gentiles. If I dwell among the Gentiles, Gentiles will poison me, and if I dwell among the Jews, Jews will split my skull. Between the former and the latter, woe unto me. Even Heaven fought with him, for the radiance of the late summer sun seemed to him like ropes used to bind mad dogs.
Out of extreme caution, Balak’s ears pricked up, and every ripple and trace of a ripple would wander into his ears and hum like a military drum and stir his soul and he would bob up and down like a Cantor’s Adam’s apple. But Balak didn’t produce melodies, for he already knew that the world doesn’t need singing. His stormy soul was filled and a shout was wrenched out of his throat, and he added to it a dry wail to make the shout forgotten, and lay back prostrate on his belly and was silent again. As if he hadn’t barked. All those days when he was away from home, he followed the maxim: A dog away from home doesn’t bark for seven years.
Along with the sense of hearing, the sense of smell was so well developed in him that he would smell the trace of the trace of a smell. The sense of hearing Balak ruled by himself, the sense of smell ruled him. If he was following a smell, before he got there, another smell came to him, and when that smell came to him, another smell came and grabbed him by his nose and led him away. If he ran with it here, another smell came from there, and before he arrived, another smell ran to meet him. The garbage of Jerusalem could deprive anyone with a nose of his sense of smell, but not Balak, every single heap of garbage reveals its smells to him.
Impossible to dwell in many places at the same time and impossible to stay in one place when all kinds of voices are bustling in the soul, and so Balak ran around from place to place, and listened and smelled and smelled and listened. And what sounds didn’t do to him, smells did; and what smells didn’t do to him, sounds did. Balak reverted to shouting and he smelled and poked his nose into garbage, so they wouldn’t think it was he who was shouting, but that garbage.
I
This abundance bestowed upon him made him sad. All those senses couldn’t have been given in vain. There must be a great design to it, but why were they given and what is the design? As the abundance increased, his understanding diminished.
Balak straightened up from the garbage and went somewhere else, like someone walking in the middle of the night and gloom, and a candle is placed at his feet, and he moves away from where he is standing so the candle will illuminate him. He went up to the cliff and opened his eyes and shook his ears, and tried to grasp something of that design with his eyes or his ears, for like most prim-itive creatures, Balak didn’t distinguish between his mental images, his internal organs and external organs. And so he stood, and all the things in front of him were deafening and didn’t tell him anything. He stretched out his legs and started scratching on the ground until he dug a hole in it, either to force it to open its mouth or to make it a new mouth. Came a dust storm and darkened his eyes, and after the dust, from the earth appeared the head of a brush that had been discarded by some painter. Balak sniffed this handful of hairs. His skin shuddered as on the day he spent in the neighborhood of the Bukharans, the day when the man with the wet instrument plastered his moisture on him. But that throb wasn’t a throb of pleasure, but a throb of fear. His eyes were filled with blood and a voice was torn out of his mouth. Not the voice of wailing and not the voice of whining and not the voice of groaning, but a new voice, a voice of revenge.
