Only for You (11 page)

He mutters a curse, one
that I’ve never heard him say before. “Sit on the table. I want to
taste that pussy.”

“
In front of everyone?” I
squeak.

What we’re doing is more
than I can take as it is, but a blatant public display… I can’t. He
can’t. We can’t and it has nothing to do with who either of us
are.

He seems to consider it,
something dark sliding in his eyes, but he shakes his head. “Course
not.” Without looking around, he orders everyone to
leave.

“
What the
hell?”

“
But the ball hasn’t
dropped, yet.”

“
Oh is your other ball
missing its buddy?”

“
Screw you,
Parker.”

“
We can go to my place.”
This invitation is issued by Beau.

“
Get out,” Cole
growls.

I try to pull my skirt
down, but Cole glares at me and says, “No.” I bunch the material in
my hand instead, praying that no one wants to fist bump Cole before
they leave

“
Happy New Year,
party-pooper.”

“
Seriously? What are
you—three?”

The door slams shut, and
then I hear the lock click into place.

“
Happy?”

I nod, unsure of the guy
standing before me.

“
Get. On. The.
Table.”

Glancing down at his hand,
then back at him, I whisper, “Help me.”

“
Pull up your
legs.”

I do as he says, sending
his fingers deeper. I close my eyes and moan, my hands urging him
to move. “Don’t make me go anywhere.”

Suddenly, I feel the soft
flick of his tongue and my eyes fly open. He’s kneeling beside me,
his dark hair tickling the skin of my thighs.

As soon as I say,
don’t stop
, he does just
that. And his fingers leave me. Empty and wanting more.

He undresses me slowly,
deliberately brushing the most sensitive parts of me until I’m
nude, until I’m shaking and wanting him. Only him.

“
Damn, you’re
beautiful.”

Then he’s unbuckling his
belt, unbuttoning his pants, and before I even have time to try to
get his shirt out, he thrusts inside of me. He’s hard, huge, and
relentless.

Nothing about this is
playful or even romantic.

It’s erotic, dominating,
and powerful.

I grab his shoulder and
hold on tight, but he gently forces my hands to my sides, his hands
holding me prisoner.

Involuntarily, my back
arches and he takes a tight nipple in his mouth, scalding it.
Scalding me. I want to touch him so badly that I don’t know what to
do.

The chair’s cold on my
butt, the wood digging into my back, but being pinned between it
and Cole turns me on like nothing has before.

Finally, he lets me go, but
only to slide his hands under my legs, placing them up and over his
shoulders, opening me to him even more.

His big hands cup my hips,
pulling me to the edge of the chair. He’s not saying a word, just
biting his bottom lip and staring down at where we’re
joined.

I’m going up in flames but
dying inside. This seems so impersonal. So not the man I love, but
then he touches me, pinches my nipples and my clit.

I scream his name, and he
rocks faster. The chair moves with us, and his pace picks up.
Furious and driving inside of me so hard that I can barely catch my
breath.

“
Love you,” I say,
catching his gaze. “So much.”

Suddenly, he’s cursing
again and pulling out of me. I barely have time to blink before
he’s completely dressed. The bulge in his jeans the only indication
that he was ever inside of me.

Cole’s eyes are wild, his
breathing furious. I climb down from the chair, my flats still on
my feet—thank God—and approach him, not caring about how nude I am
in this moment.

“
What’s wrong?”

“
Everything,” he says.
“Every. Fucking. Thing.”

“
Don’t be that way,” I
say, cupping him. “Let me take care of you.”

He shakes, actually shakes,
and puts his hands on my upper arms. I rub my body against his, my
nipples still hard from his touch and the air.

“
Let me ease you,” I say,
sinking to my knees. He takes off his belt and I unbutton his
pants, glancing up at him when I’m done. “Okay?”

He nods, his fingers
furrowing into my hair as I put my lips around him. He’s hard satin
and tastes like me, like us.

I do everything he likes,
everything he’s ever told me, as I take him in my mouth. I lick,
suck, and nibble at him. I let him take over, guiding his cock
further into my mouth, his hand cupping my neck.

When he finally lets
himself go, I don’t pull away. I stay with him, until the very end.
Something I’ve never done before. Something he’s never asked me to
do before.

He helps me to my feet,
tugs off his shirt, and pushes it over my head. I adjust it and
wrap my arms around him, listening to his heartbeat. After a
minute, he scoops me up and heads to his office.

He lays me down on the
couch there, one that he had replaced over a month ago. It’s wide
enough for the two of us, and he lies down beside me.

“
I’m sorry,” he says, and
I know he’s not speaking of what just happened. Well, not
completely.

“
It’s okay.”

“
Ever think all this
fighting we’re doing means we don’t belong together?”

My heart speeds up. “No. I
think it’s us trying to figure things out.” But I know it’s not.
It’s just us, fighting over stupid stuff, like when we got in an
argument at the Piggly Wiggly the other day.

“
I can pay for my own damn
groceries, Rae,” he said once we were in his Jeep.

“
But it was my idea for
steaks and all the stuff you don’t normally buy. Hence, why I
should pay,” I teased.

“
Steaks are only for
normal people?” He stomped on the gas and then hit the brakes at
the next red light.

“
I only meant—”

“
I know what you meant. I
know what you always mean,” he ground out.

I shook my head. “I don’t
even know how to answer that.”

He doesn’t disagree, but he
doesn’t agree with me either. We stay like that, until the DJ
announces the New Year. Cole kisses me softly, like he used to
do.

“
You’ll be leaving me
soon,” he says.

So I was right and wrong.
Maybe he’s just nervous about me being so far away, without him and
with my ex. “But I’ll visit on my off days, and you could always
come to the venues we’re playing around here.”

“
I can’t just take off
work to watch you prance around on stage.”

Hurt beyond belief, I jerk
away from him, sitting up. “I don’t
prance
around on stage.”

He scrubs his hand over his
face and sits up too. “New Year, old us.” Then he stands, crosses
the room, and heads out into the bar.

I want to cry, but all that
happens is a lump forms in my throat. One that I can’t swallow, no
matter how hard I try.

***

I’d been dreading this day
for months now. I’m worried sick that Cole will do something I
think is stupid, like break up with me, with one of those be-free
platitudes you see in movies.

Like if you love something,
set it free. Ugh. That’s never made sense to me. I’m already here
of my free will.

For some reason only known
to God and Everett, the entire crew is meeting at in The Double
Deuce’s parking lot to kick off our tour. And for some reason only
known to God and Cole, Cole’s letting him.

“
Play nice with Callie,”
Cole says and I roll my eyes.

“
If by play nice, you
mean, sleep with one eye open at all times, okay,” I mutter and
Cole laughs softly. It’s the first real laugh I’ve heard from him
in weeks.

“
I’m not joking. Callie
could probably give you a run for your money.”

Cole leans into me, taking
me in his arms. Finally. “I don’t see why she’d want to hurt you.
You’ve been hurt enough as it is.”

Then why are you so bent
on hurting me
? I want to cry, but I don’t.
“I’m competition.”

“
But not for Jaxon,” I
quickly add at his dark look. “For songs and, gosh, you should have
seen her throw a fit on the set list.”

“
So the two of you are
opening for Jaxon?”

I laugh. “Oh Cole… I’ve
never opened for Jaxon Hunter.”

Confusion fills his eyes.
“I thought he’s a bigger name than you.”

Despite everything running
through my mind and hurting my heart, I tilt my head to one side
and grin.

Music has always been one
area of my life where I’ve felt like I’m in control, where I felt
like I could kick ass even when my entire world was falling down.
It’s also the one place where Jaxon and I are equals.

Venues always billed us
alphabetically—not by talent. The two of us together owned the
stage, apart the magic just isn’t there.

But I say none of this to
Cole, unsure of how he’d take it or if he’d even understand it.
Maybe I’m worried he’d equate it with love, lust, or something like
that. “We’re equally billed. Callie is
our
opening act.”

“
Even after—”

“
Especially after. I’m
bigger news than he is,” I say wryly.

He makes a face. “You might
need to sleep with both eyes open, then.”

I burst out laughing and
then kiss him. He kisses me back, hunger in his touch. His hand
cups the back of my head and his arm presses me against
him.

“
I need more time,” he
says. “Damn, I want you.”

“
I’m too sore.” I blush
when he pulls back to look at me. Last night, we’d made love so
many times and in so many positions that I can barely walk. He had
been equal parts brutal and tender. Frantic and slow, angry and
sweet… it made my head whirl.

He’d made me come so many
times that I lost count, and this morning, not even a couple of
hours ago, he’d started right where he’d left off.

“
Widen those thighs,
baby,” he’d said as I rolled over and sleepily hugged him. “I need
to be deep.”

Automatically I did and he
slid inside of me, moving in hard thrusts that woke me up in a
hurry. My body had been shamelessly wet and ready for him. I ached
everywhere, yet I wanted more and I didn’t want it to
end.

“
Cole, Cole, Cole,” I had
chanted, and then he had kissed me.

And he didn’t stop until I
had to scream his name.

But apparently, that wasn’t
what Cole had been thinking about at all. “You didn’t let me
finish, darlin’.”

My blush grew hotter.
“Sorry.”

“
I want you to know how
much I love you.”

Smiling as the
embarrassment rolls from my body, I say, “I love you
too.”

“
And I also want you to
know that I understand if this is what you really want to do, for a
really long time.” His gaze skitters away, focusing on something
behind me.

“
Why can’t I have
both?”

“
Because one will
eventually become more important than the other.”

“
Time to leave,” someone
says before I can respond to his statement. Doesn’t he know that
he’s the most important thing to me? I’ve been doing this for so
long that it’s not all of me now. It’s still a big part, but it’s
not the guy I love.

“
Violet, kiss your
boyfriend goodbye and let’s go,” Jaxon shouts at us.

“
Or you can stay here,”
Callie chimes in. “We really don’t need you.”

“
Shut up,” Jaxon
says.

Cole and I turn just in
time to see Callie flip Jaxon off. They head to separate
busses.

“
Wow,” Cole mutters. “True
love there.”

“
Yeah, well, I get to ride
with the soon-to-be Mrs. Jaxon Hunter the entire way to
Texas.”

“
Lucky you.”

“
Cole—”

“
Kiss me good-bye, baby,”
Cole dips his head. “Leave me with a good memory.”

But I wasn’t leaving him,
not permanently. I kiss him anyway, tears falling as I do. He gives
me a last, lingering look and curses. I start to walk away, but he
grabs me and hauls me up in his arms.

“
Damn it, this is harder
than I thought it would be.” He lets his forehead fall to
mine.

“
It’s worse than what
I
knew
it was
going to be,” I whisper.

“
So, take my hand, don’t
be afraid. We’ll get through this. Come what may,”
he sings softly to me, and this time I
sob.

I can’t help it. He’s
singing his song, the one I wrote for him, to me. This boy who
hates country music and who never let it be played in his bar until
a few months ago is singing a country song to me. This boy who
never sings because it reminds him of the dad who abandoned him is
singing to me.