Only for You (16 page)

She glanced aside, her heart seizing slightly when she noticed how rigid his profile and posture looked. His regret over Dharma’s death was palpable, despite his even, matter-of-fact tone. No wonder he’d understood her without words earlier when they’d spoken of Sterling McClarin. He seemed personally affronted by the cult leader’s antics.

“I’m sorry,” Gia said sincerely. He waved his hand as if to say
that’s life, right?
But Gia wasn’t buying his nonchalance. “It wasn’t your fault, Seth.”

“I know it wasn’t. But you can’t help but wonder if you did enough, that’s all.”

This
was the real reason he’d sacrificed his time and put up with the inconvenience of their trek across the country. Of course, it hadn’t related to her personally, she acknowledged with a sinking feeling.

“Were you involved with her?” she asked.

“Who? Dharma?”

Gia nodded, her gaze glued to the road. Why had her heart started to beat uncomfortably fast upon asking the question?

“You mean was I sleeping with her?”

“Yeah.”

“Of course not,” he said with quiet disdain. “Haven’t you been listening? I don’t get involved with actresses,
especially
a fragile one like Dharma. I tried to be a friend to her. Not that it worked.”

A silence settled between them. He seemed as thoughtful as she was.

“But Dharma, and other women like her,” Gia said after a while. “Are they the reasons you routinely don’t date actresses? Because they’re vulnerable and needy, and often don’t show the best judgment?”

He exhaled, making a frustrated sound. “No. Not entirely. I know you say it’s prejudice on my part, and maybe it is,” he said stiffly. “But it’s my
experience
. I’m not saying every actress is as fragile as Dharma. Far from it. It’s more than that.”

He glanced aside and noticed her raised eyebrows.

“Personalities and weaknesses of character aside, two people who are both part of this business shouldn’t be involved. It’s too much craziness and not enough reality.”

“That seems like way too rigid a rule.”

“Do you really love it that much?” Seth asked her. She blinked at the unexpected question.

“Yes,” she replied without hesitation. “Sure, it’s crazy at times, but acting has been my passion since I was in middle school. I thought the theater was everything to me, but I’m finding film to be fascinating too. It’s stretching me creatively. I’m not power or fame hungry, and I think my feet are planted solid on the ground. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to take my career as far as I can.”

He didn’t reply for a moment.

“You should be careful what you wish for,” he said somberly. “This business can eat people alive or take you bit by bit until there’s nothing left. You’re young. You still have a lot to learn about it.”

“Do
not
throw my age in my face again, Seth Hightower,” she said, pointing at him accusingly. “You’re only ten years or so older.”

“That’s a hell of a lot of years of experience.”

“I’m old enough. I was then too,” she grated out. Her words echoed in her brain in the tense silence that followed. She hadn’t meant to bring up what had happened two years ago. Seth’s calm know-it-all attitude had pricked her temper. Again.

“Fine. I didn’t intend to argue with you about it. You’re the one who asked why I’m offended by assholes like McClarin,” Seth said, staring out the passenger’s-side window.

“Is it that surprising that I’m annoyed? You’re labeling me as an emotional simpleton on the sole basis of my career and the number of years I’ve been alive.” How could he be so clueless as to not realize how insulting that was?

“I said no such thing,” he shot back with force, making her jump. “How can you imagine for a second I think you’re an emotional simpleton? You’re smart as a whip and courageous as hell. Look at what you’re doing, testifying against McClarin despite every obstacle being thrown in your path? Most people who have far less at stake than you do would never put themselves on the line like that.”

She glanced at him, her mouth sagging open.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he demanded sharply, seemingly as aghast by her incredulous reaction as she was by his passionate declaration.

“Because I didn’t know you thought those things of me.”

“Jesus, Gia. I can’t keep my damn hands off you. Do you think that’s all because you’ve got a pretty face and phenomenal body? I see gorgeous women every fucking day,” he said, his deep, rough voice pressured and beleaguered.

“Well, I’m so sorry to be such a distracting . . .” She fumbled for the right word. “
Nuisance
. You’re sort of a nuisance yourself, you know,” she added under her breath.

She listened to her heart throbbing in her ears in the strained silence that followed.

She reached for the control button on the radio and turned up the volume on a pop song. From the corner of her vision, she saw him open his mouth as if to say something, but then he seemed to think better of it. Instead, he picked up his cell phone and resumed checking his messages.

Gia wondered furiously if the atmosphere inside the SUV could spawn lightning.

They stopped at a roadside gas station and restaurant for breakfast three hours past Oklahoma City. Gia was feeling prickly and edgy, but not for the same reason she had been in the early morning hours when she and Seth had argued. Well, not argued, really. Disagreed.

Heatedly.

Her edginess now came from what had happened before they got to the restaurant. In short, Seth had gotten her into full disguise again, and that process was always a trial on her senses.

“So when we get to this house, what are we going to do?” Gia asked him as she spread some jam on her toast. She paused in her actions when she met his stare. Instead of looking grubby and sweaty as she did—after nearly twenty-four hours without a shower, wearing a hot, itchy wig and constrictive binder—Seth looked rugged and a little dangerous. His jaw was shadowed with whiskers, and his amber eyes seemed to glow in his swarthy face. His longish, smooth hair was made for road trips, looking best when swept back from his face in finger-combed carelessness. She scowled at the appealing sight of him and shoved a corner of the toast into her mouth.

He shrugged and picked up his coffee. She’d learned already that he didn’t hold the handle of a coffee cup, but instead gripped the whole thing in his large hand. She found the habit extremely sexy, which only amplified her current annoyance.

“I think we should stay in as much as possible. And it’s not like there’s much to do around Vulture’s Canyon anyway. As long as you’re in full makeup and character, we can go out now and then. If that’s what you want,” he added very quietly.

She realized she was staring at him, thinking about what he’d said after they’d given in to their feverish libidos in that parking lot outside of Amarillo.

I can’t imagine not touching you, now that I have.

Ever since their disagreement on the road, Seth certainly hadn’t touched her. Gia wasn’t sure if he even wanted to proceed with his suggestion that they carry out a sexual affair while hiding out from the world in the forest. She wasn’t sure
she
wanted to. He took a sip of his coffee, holding her stare over the rim of the cup.

“Do you want to test out your role on someone?” he asked, setting down his coffee cup.

Gia blinked. “Who?”

“Rill and Katie Pierce live close by to where we’ll be staying. If Katie knows we’re there, she’ll probably extend an invitation.”

“And you think it would be okay for us to go?”

Something about his certainty when he nodded made her realize he’d thought about it. “Yeah. I trust Rill and Katie completely. I’d have to tell Katie not to say anything about this plan to Joy though. Joy and Everett are in Mexico right now. If they talked, I wouldn’t want Joy to actually
believe
she had a half brother.” He paused, his flickering gaze over her face made her go still in awareness. “You said that you’d seen Rill do a presentation at UCLA. Did you ever meet him in person then, or have you met him since?”

“No. His scholarship recipients were supposed to meet with him after he spoke, but he was called away on some emergency.”

“So it’ll be a good acting challenge for you, won’t it? To see if you can fool Rill and Katie?”

“Don’t you think they’ll be insulted when they eventually find out the truth about us tricking them?”

“I don’t think so. Not if we explain. But we don’t have to see them if you don’t want,” Seth shrugged. “It was just a thought. I can think of plenty of other things I’d rather do,” he said frankly. The sunglasses she wore didn’t provide any protection from the lancing quality of his stare. She felt herself going warm beneath it. Her chewing slowed. “I was just thinking about how you hate being confined. Have you been thinking about what I suggested?” he added so quietly, for a few seconds she thought she had misunderstood him.

“What?” she asked, although her prickling skin warned her of what he meant.

He didn’t respond, his answer clear in his heavy-lidded stare, despite his impassive expression. She looked unseeingly at her half-eaten bowl of oatmeal.

“I really didn’t mean to insult you earlier, Gia,” he said, his hoarse voice just above a whisper. “Do we have to agree on everything in order to—”

“Have meaningless sex?” she finished for him as calmly as she could muster, looking up.

They faced off, the din of the restaurant fading to distant background noise.

“I was just being honest by saying I’ve never met an actress I thought wouldn’t be more trouble than pleasure to get involved with.”

“Including me.”

“That’s the whole point, isn’t it? You
are
different. I clearly can’t abide by that rule when it comes to you.” He glanced around tensely, assuring himself no one was listening. “And don’t act like this is all on me, Gia.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like I said yesterday, you had my number two years ago. Why didn’t
you
call
me
? This isn’t the 1950s. Women call men all the time. Did your not calling have anything to do with the fact that starting a relationship would have broken your career focus at that point in time? You’ve skyrocketed to fame. I admire your single-minded ambition, but I don’t think having someone like me hanging on your arm at every turn would have served your purpose very well.”

“You would hardly
hang on my arm
,” she snapped, finding the idea of a clutching, insecure Seth ridiculous. She met his solemn stare and swallowed back her flash of irritation.

It wasn’t as cut-and-dried as he was making it sound, but there was
some
truth to what he said. Gia had always been a planner. If you didn’t set goals, it was hard to focus on the desired outcome. Things that didn’t blend with her goals—things like Sterling McClarin or her off-the-charts attraction to a gorgeous, blatantly independent man like Seth—tended to sidetrack that focus.

Still
 . . .

“It would have made a difference if you’d contacted me after that night. I wanted it,” she said honestly.

“Yeah. But not enough to potentially screw up your carefully made plans and call me yourself.”

She opened her mouth to argue, but he held up a hand, stilling her. “I’m not mad about it. I understand. I’m just pointing out that we
both
have histories. We
both
have reasons to be wary about this. I’ve learned that a Hollywood relationship is a hell of a lot more complicated than most people could even begin to imagine.
You
learned early on from your mom that you were never going to let a man sidetrack your career.”

It was like he’d applied a mild shock to her skin. She stared at him, tingling, left stunned that he recalled that small detail from the night they’d spent together. His words replayed in her head.

“Is
that
what you really think? That I didn’t try to contact you, because I didn’t want to repeat my mother’s mistakes?” she breathed out, amazed. Unsettled.

Disturbed.

Was he right?

“When’s the last time you were in a serious relationship?” he asked quietly.

“I . . . I’ve been in plenty,” she sputtered.

“Really? The press isn’t doing its work for once? You’ve hidden
that
from your adoring public?”

“I assume that means you’re one who’s checking?” she challenged.

He threw her a dark look that somehow conveyed her attempt at sidetracking him was beneath her. Damn. She was a glass surface to him. It wasn’t as if she was
lying
or anything, it was just that she was a little worried he was right. Sort of. She’d had two involvements with men in the past couple of years that lasted more than six months, which was her record for relationship length. The problem for Gia was that she was always so busy. She seemed to match up with men who initially seemed comfortable and secure with her hectic schedule but in reality were just taking advantage of the fact that she wasn’t around enough to interfere with their typical tomcatting activities.

God. She hadn’t matured a bit since catching that moronic rock star Tommy Valian in bed with another woman and whining about it to Seth.

She exhaled, feeling drained suddenly.

“Yeah,” he said, as if he’d noticed she had finally gotten what he was trying to convey. “It’s complicated,” he told her pointedly, reaching for his wallet. He dropped some bills on the check resting on the table and met her stare again, his gaze unflinching. “The fact that I want you, though? That’s as simple as it comes.”

*   *   *

Losing several hours because of the time zones, they reached the Shawnee National Forest in the afternoon of a cool, brilliantly sunny day. Seth drove the last leg of the trip with familiar ease. They passed St. Louis and finally were traversing a narrow, twisted country road that meandered through hills and forest. Gia didn’t speak for the whole forty-five minutes before they came to a halt, awed by the beauty of the rolling land and woods decked out in brilliant hues of yellow, orange and vivid red. It was a shock to her city eyes, but a wonderful one. She lowered her window all the way and inhaled deeply of the crisp, spicy air rushing across her face. It was like the cobwebs of the past several months—the anxiety of the McClarin trial, the hounding reporters, the worry of completing
Interlude
without creating a scar on her work record—slowly melted away. The road trip had succeeded in one thing; it made Los Angeles seem distant and small.

She glanced sideways at Seth’s bold presence behind the wheel of the SUV.
He
seemed even bigger and more vibrant since their cross-country escape. Her uncertainty about how she should proceed with Seth Hightower in a secluded forest home remained, but the lessening of her other anxieties at least made her feel clearer . . . lighter.

That incident in the parking lot had vividly brought back his dominant manner of making love. She’d found it intensely arousing, which had surprised her a little. Two years ago, she hadn’t had enough experience with men to know she would like having someone call the shots in bed. Certainly, she’d never been with a man—then or since—who was as physically powerful as Seth. He could so easily optimize her pleasure.

There had never been a doubt in her mind that Seth enjoyed sex. A lot. He was clearly practiced at getting it precisely the way he wanted it.

She shifted her hips restlessly in the seat, her thoughts arousing her more than was appropriate, given the circumstances. But where was the harm in giving in to her desire full throttle? She’d been banned to the forest for three weeks by circumstances beyond her control.

Why couldn’t she turn it into a sex-drenched, indulgent getaway with Seth Hightower? Most women would leap at the chance.

They traversed down a two-lane country road that was shrouded by trees on both sides and from above, creating the feeling of traveling down a sun-gilded, leafy tunnel. She leaned out the window slightly, curious when Seth turned off the road onto a long drive. In the distance, she saw a log home cozily situated on the side of a hill.

“Is that it?” Gia hoped. In her almost twenty-five years of existence, she’d never stayed in a forest retreat, so remote from the rest of the bustling world.

“Yep.”

“It’s lovely.”

A moment later, he brought the SUV to a halt. The forest crowded around the log home from the back. When she stepped onto the leaf-strewn driveway a moment later, she filled her lungs with fresh, cool air.

She slowly spun around in a complete circle, absorbing her surroundings. The trees blazed with color. The forest seemed alive with the sounds of birds chirping and leaves rustling and falling to the ground in the soft, cool breeze. The house looked new. The back of it and part of the sides nestled inside the hill, but the front was almost all windows, giving it an airy, modern feel.

“John had it built fairly small, better for security,” Seth said as he popped the trunk and began to haul out luggage and duffel bags. Gia hurried to help him. “Because of the way it’s dug into the hill, I only have to be worried about a few exposures as far as a potential security breach.”

Gia smiled but held back her teasing. He couldn’t help it if the lessons of security had been ground down into his bones. That’s why the FBI and Charles had been comfortable sending her away with him, after all, even if everyone agreed there was no likely threat.

“I’m just excited about a hot shower,” she said longingly. She glanced up at him. They hadn’t stood side by side much on the trip. When they did, she was always a little surprised at his height. The top of her head was only a few inches past his nipple line.

Excitement bubbled up in her. The trip had seemed so interminable, she hadn’t really allowed herself to dwell much on the bliss of arriving. It rushed her now, making her feel a little giddy. Maybe Joshua Cabot was right. As unlikely as it would have seemed just days ago, she suddenly found herself smack dab in the middle of a picturesque getaway with an extremely sexy, attractive man.

There were much worse things in the world.

She took her favorite suitcase from Seth—a small vintage leather steamer trunk that she’d had updated with roller wheels. He continued to rustle around in the back of the SUV, seemingly deciding what to grab now and what to take later. He’d packed a hell of a lot more than she had, she realized for the first time. She spotted some sketch pads, art supplies and his large makeup kit. He’d packed dry goods and groceries. She saw a case of bottled water. In a paper bag she saw coffee, paper towels and a loaf of bread.