One Wish In Manhattan (A Christmas Story) (34 page)

H
ayley ditched
the jumper sleeves and let the cardboard cup warm her hands as she watched Michel with Angel on the ice. Holding hands, laughing, getting faster with every circuit, her daughter was having the time of her life.

‘He seems to be taking to it,’ Oliver remarked. ‘Fatherhood.’

She looked at him. ‘It’s like a first date. Neither of them really know what to say or do. I’m hoping there’ll be a second but it’s a difficult situation.’ She sighed. ‘And it takes a lot more than skating and hot dogs to make a parent.’ She smiled, her eyes on him. ‘What is it you need to tell me?’

She watched him put his coffee cup to his mouth and take a sip of the liquid. He turned to her, adopting a serious expression then clearing his throat. ‘It’s about my Wish Women really,’ he stated. ‘And, the reason I meet women that way.’

She could see he was struggling to get the words out and she clamped her lips shut before something inappropriate spilled out.

‘The truth is, Hayley … I can’t give anyone a future with me,’ he stated.

Hayley nodded her head up and down. ‘I understand. We’re not dissimilar. I’ve not introduced any man to Angel for the very same reason. There are no guarantees and if you’re going to put a lot of time and effort into something there has to be some sort of assurance, or at least definite intentions. Dates and one nights are OK as long as everyone is on the same page.’

‘It isn’t that.’

‘Oh.’

‘This is so hard.’ He put his cup down on the wooden railing.

‘Just tell me, Clark,’ she begged. She was nervous. Whatever he had to say sounded serious. ‘Just take a deep breath and get it out there.’

‘OK,’ he agreed, filling his lungs with the chilly air. ‘OK.’

She waited, letting the steam from her cup caress her cheeks as she watched him.

‘The reason Ben died was because he had a defective gene.’ He sighed. ‘Ready for the science bit? Well, there’s something called a calmodulin protein, which is a kind of sensor that measures calcium in the heart cells and regulates heart rhythm. Ben’s didn’t work properly and it caused a sudden cardiac arrest.’ He took a shaky breath. ‘And he died.’

‘I know all about that now,’ she said softly. ‘I read his story on the McArthur Foundation website.’

He nodded. ‘Of course you did.’ He put a hand to his hair, raking his fingers through it. ‘Hayley … I have the same defective gene.’ He swallowed. ‘And because of that … I don’t know how long I have to live.’

H
is heart was kicking
him right this second. Drumming hard and irregular beats as he watched for her reaction. Right now she was looking confused, gripping the cardboard cup a little too hard, her eyes small, as if she was trying to understand exactly what he’d said. He needed to hammer home his point. She needed to be clear. If anything it would make her see how much better an option Michel was.

‘My brother had it, he died before he was thirty. My grandfather too, dropped dead at the same age, he had it. And my father only made it to sixty-five. It’s what the Drummonds do. We work ourselves into the ground and then we die.’

Hayley was shaking her head, tears bubbling up in her eyes. This was what he’d wanted to avoid. Her pain. This reaction right now. He could feel the tearing of her insides, the kick to her gut and the punch to her heart.

‘Listen,’ he said, reaching out for her hands. ‘It’s OK.’

‘This is what happened wasn’t it? In your apartment, after our date, when I had to call the ambulance …’

He nodded. ‘I should have told you then. But all I could think about was how much faith you’d put in me just going on that one date and that I’d somehow duped you into being there. Because, despite the crap I came out with at St. Patrick’s, that date meant something to me, Hayley.’ He paused. ‘And the more it meant, the worse the situation was. So I did what I always do when faced with anything remotely emotional, I switched off, I pulled back and …’ He looked to the ice rink. ‘I found you a replacement.’

Her tears were falling now, dripping down her face, her reddened cheeks bitten by the harsh New York weather. He wanted to kiss her tears away, make her pain stop but he held off.

‘Don’t cry,’ he whispered, moving a strand of her hair away from her face.

‘I
want
to cry.’

‘
I
don’t want you to cry.’

‘Well they aren’t your tears so I’ll do what I want with them.’

He held onto her hands, locking their fingers together until they were bound tight. ‘I’m sorry I lied to you, Hayley, and I’m sorry I let you down.’

‘Shut up. Just stop talking,’ she ordered. ‘I don’t want to hear any more sorrys from someone who’s been living a half-life, picking up random women and having an intimate relationship with an android tablet.’

‘Ouch.’

He watched her close her eyes, then she tightened her grip on their interlocked fingers. She was so beautiful. He would happily spend the rest of his life just looking at her. He swallowed. He had given up on that chance, but at least now he had finally been honest. All he wanted was for her to be happy. Maybe with Michel she could be.

She snapped open her eyes, holding his gaze.

‘I actually think it’s pretty presumptuous of you to assume I wouldn’t be interested in what we have just because you have a rapidly expiring eat by date.’

‘Eat by date?’

‘Short shelf life. Use by.’

He shook his head, unable to keep the smile from his lips. ‘Food.’

‘It scares the hell out of me, Oliver.’ Her voice shook. ‘And … I have to think of Angel.’

He watched her swallow, drop her eyes for a second. Of course she was right. What good was a dying man to a nine-year-old? Especially one who had spent her whole life without a father figure. The child needed more than he could ever give her.

‘But I also know that I’ve spent the last nine years on my own with my daughter and I’m not about to pass up something special just because I might end up being alone again some day.’ She sighed. ‘I thought that for a minute when Michel almost didn’t come through. I thought maybe it had to be just me and Angel, two girls road-tripping through life, not letting anyone else in. But … life’s all about taking chances isn’t it?’ She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. ‘We all know the end destination, it’s all about the stops along the way.’ She smiled. ‘And how boring would it be if everything was calculated like Sat-Nav?’ She squeezed his hands again, bunching them tightly in hers. ‘The Oliver I know isn’t afraid of anything. And he’s clever and funny and ever so slightly sexy and …’

‘Whoa, hold up there a second.
Ever so slightly
sexy?’ He twisted their fingers together. ‘I challenge that.’

‘I challenge you back. I challenge you to take a chance on me, because however this pans out I want to start something with you … here, now … then via Skype, seeing as there’s a little distance issue, but …’ She paused. ‘I want to be more than just the woman you called Lois once. That’s what I deserve, not this talk of replacements and switching off.’ She held his gaze. ‘And it’s what you deserve too. Me and Angel, two crazy chicks who won’t bore you with wishes but might want you to join in singing to
Lip-Synch Battle
.’ She smiled. ‘Something real.’

He gazed into her eyes, seeing her feelings for him so openly displayed. He swallowed. He was a fool to think he could live without trying to love. And he
did
love her. He
loved
her. Whatever time he had left he wanted to fill it with feelings just like this.

He pulled her into his embrace, wrapping his arms around her, loving the way she fell against his body. ‘God, how could I think I could live without you?’

‘Yeah, how could you?’ She took a step back from him, picked up her jumper sleeves and wiped her eyes with them. ‘Multiple uses. I should patent these.’

He swallowed, then let out a breath. ‘I am scared, Hayley.’

‘I know,’ she replied. ‘Me too. But the way my ice skating’s been going today there’s every chance I’ll be dying before you.’

‘Do you look on the bright side of everything?’

‘Is your glass always half empty?’

He smiled. ‘I’m not going to win this one, am I?’

‘You know how I am with the last word.’

‘I remember.’

‘Good.’

‘So, there we are.’

‘Yes.’

‘I’m not letting you have it.’

‘Oh yes, you are.’

‘We’ll see about that.’

He cupped her face with his hands, pressing his lips to hers and pushing her body back against the Perspex surround of the rink. He’d never met anyone like her.

H
ayley was feeling
that deep pull of longing again, just from the touch of his mouth. He was stripping her bare with his kiss, setting fire to her heart. She wound her fingers through his hair and dragged him closer still.

‘Mum!’

Angel’s voice had her falling away from Oliver and jarring her elbow on the railing. ‘Ouch!’

‘Why are you kissing Mr Meanie?’ Angel hissed as Michel skated up to join her.

‘Mr Meanie?’ Oliver said.

Hayley smiled. ‘Michel, this is Oliver Drummond.’

Angel pulled a face and folded her arms across her chest.

‘It is nice to meet you,’ Michel greeted, holding his hand out to Oliver.

‘Likewise. I’ve been watching your moves on the ice there. Did you play hockey?’ Oliver asked, shaking Michel’s hand.

‘Oh no, in Belgium we skate just for fun,’ he answered. ‘You are coming on the rink?’

‘I don’t think so, I …’ Oliver began.

Hayley tugged at his sleeve. ‘Why not? Didn’t you tell me you were an expert on skates?’

‘I may have exaggerated a little and I haven’t done it for years,’ Oliver added.

‘Well, you can’t be any worse than me. In fact if there is anyone worse than me I’d really like to meet them,’ Hayley said.

‘OK,’ Oliver said, clapping his hands together. ‘Now I’ve been put on the spot I think I ought to get out on the ice and show you what I’ve got.’

‘Oh my God are you going to wave your hands in the air like you just don’t care?’ Hayley asked, slipping on her jumper sleeves.

‘Only if
you
do. Wait,
you’ll
need both your hands to hold on to the barrier,’ he teased.

Angel laughed. ‘That’s funny.’

‘Right, that’s it! You’re going down, mister!’

A
ngel had been standing
in front of the mirror in Dean’s hall for the past twenty minutes. First her hair had been down – brushed flat – then it had been parted and palmed into position – then it had been swung up into a high ponytail. Now she was trying to plait it but Hayley could see she was all fingers and thumbs.

‘Do you want me to …’

‘No.’ Angel shook her head.

‘I’ll do it really quickly.’

‘That’s the problem. It won’t look right.’ Angel let out a heavy sigh.

Hayley knew what this was because she was feeling exactly the same. It was trepidation. Angel’s very first outing alone with her newly found dad.

Without asking, Hayley stepped forward and began braiding Angel’s hair.

‘The one thing we can’t have happen is Michel turning up and you looking like a walking, talking fashion alert,’ Hayley stated, trying to lighten the mood.

She lifted her eyes from the plaits and looked at Angel’s reflection. Her daughter was tight-lipped and lacking the enthusiasm that had oozed so readily when this trip was planned after ice skating.

This was going to be the only real time she had let Angel go. She was about to entrust a man she barely knew to take her daughter into the heart of a heaving, over-populated metropolis. The school day trip to the science museum in London had set her teeth on edge when Angel was seven, but this was something else completely.

‘So where did he say he’s taking you?’ Hayley asked, slipping the three strands of hair together.

She knew exactly where Michel planned to take Angel. There was no way she’d let him have her without knowing every stop on the agenda and a definite time to be back home. But she wanted to hear it from Angel. Hope the planned activities would reignite her spirit.

‘On a horse and carriage ride and then lunch at the House of Sandwich,’ Angel said, her voice monotone.

‘Let’s have a little more feeling for those horses. They work hard every day of the year. Do you want to take a carrot?’ Hayley suggested.

Angel shook her head.

‘Keep still or these plaits are going to fall out and you might end up with the soft perm look like her.’ Hayley moved her eyes towards the photo of Shirley Bassey.

‘What are we going to talk about?’ Angel blurted out.

Hayley let out a rush of air as she tied one plait into place. ‘Angel Walker, if there’s one thing you’ve always been excellent at it’s talking.’ Hayley smiled. ‘I’ve been coaching you in this area for years.’

Angel met her eyes in the mirror then. ‘We’ve only talked about drawing and stuff … and you were there last time.’

Hayley let go of Angel’s second pigtail and put both of her hands on her daughter’s shoulders.

‘Is that what you’re worried about? Being with Michel on your own?’ Hayley asked softly.

‘No,’ Angel answered immediately. It was obvious the real answer was yes.

Hayley swallowed. What should she do here? Her maternal instincts were telling her to bundle Angel up in a hug and tell her she’d come along too, the other part of her was advising she didn’t do that just yet.

‘Well, you always tell me about school. I bet Michel would love to hear about the time that boy brought in a photo of the Chelsea football club owner when you were doing about the Romans.’

The beginnings of a smiled formed on Angel’s lips.

‘Or you could tell him about the brilliant firework display we went to this year. Eating toffee apples until our teeth stuck together.’

Angel shook her head.

‘Keep still. I’m nearly done.’ Hayley tied up the plait.

‘Will you come with us, Mum?’

Angel’s plea tugged at her but she maintained what she hoped was an unreadable expression as Angel surveyed her in the mirror.

Oliver was seeing his mother tonight so Hayley planned to stay in with her ideas book and notes for the fundraiser then Dean’s cable channels until Angel got home. The ice-skating had been so much more than circles around the rink. It had seemed to start a new phase for everyone. Michel had delighted in Angel. Father and daughter with pink cheeks and excited eyes as they raced each other around the ice and Oliver had joined in too. He and Angel had paired up to beat Michel when the cones came out and a slalom ensued. He was good with her. He made her laugh. He was making it look like he wasn’t trying too hard. And it seemed natural, no matter how crazy the whole situation really was. And it
really
was. She swallowed. There were moments when she thought about what it would be like to lose Oliver, if this faulty gene claimed him. She tightened the band on Angel’s hair. She tried not to let those thoughts seep too deep. She’d only just found him. She wasn’t about to give up easily.

The buzz of the intercom broke the silence.

‘He’s here,’ Angel whispered.

Hayley turned her daughter around to face her.

‘Listen,’ she paused. ‘This is exciting! This is your dad, taking you out!’ She took another breath. ‘I searched for months for him and … Oliver looked too,’ Hayley added.

‘He did?’ There was surprise on Angel’s face.

‘Yes he did. So, you see, a lot of people have been wanting to get you your Christmas wish, Angel.’

‘It isn’t that I don’t want to go. I really do. It’s just …’

Hayley knew how Angel was feeling. Until a few days ago her daughter had known nothing about the search for Michel. Now he was here and it was all very real.

Hayley smiled. ‘I know. It’s OK.’ She squeezed Angel into a hug. ‘If you want me to come, I’ll come but let’s go and answer the door.’

The horse was called Marco but Angel had decided to call it Snowy given it was a dappled grey who had almost been camouflaged against the snow on buildings, street and trees when they’d boarded. A white carriage, red and black canopy up to stave off the winter weather and a driver dressed in top hat and tails. Only in New York!

Now Hayley was sat on a red velveteen seat, close to Angel, snuggled under a tartan blanket, her teeth chattering as a strong wind blew snowflakes at them as they trotted through the park.

Central Park looked like the icing on top of a rich Christmas cake, with tree decorations sparkling with frost. Compared to the towering buildings encasing them, it was a patch of serenity, the only noise being the faint beep of car horns, Marco’s hooves and a saxophonist playing jazz who was braving the inclement weather.

‘This is the best way to see this part of New York,’ Michel stated. He was sat on the seat opposite them, a rug over his knees, snowflakes settling on his coat and in his hair.

Hayley smiled. Michel had been fine about her coming with Angel. She could tell he was nervous too and she didn’t blame him. This was a big step forward in their relationship. ‘When do we have to stop to pick up Marco’s poop?’

‘Mum!’ Angel exclaimed.

‘What? Did you not see the buckets hanging underneath the carriage?’ She turned to Angel. ‘You’re so good at doing that for Randy, maybe you could volunteer.’

Angel pulled a face and then quickly smiled at her father. ‘What’s your favourite New York building, Michel?’

Michel rubbed his hands together and blew some hot breath onto his fingers. ‘That is a hard question.’

‘Oh it isn’t,’ Hayley said. ‘It has to be the Statue of Liberty. She’s strong, she’s feminine and she’s green. What’s not to love?’

‘Mum, the Statue of Liberty isn’t a building,’ Angel corrected.

‘Well, landmark then. She’s my favourite landmark.’

‘I like the Brooklyn Museum,’ Michel answered. ‘It’s near to where I live.’ He directed a smile at Hayley. ‘There is a replica of the Statue of Liberty there.’

‘Can we go there?’ Angel asked.

‘Yes, of course.’ Michel looked to Hayley again. ‘If this is OK with your mum.’

Hayley smiled as the carriage came to a halt.

‘Angel,’ Michel said, sitting forward in his seat and holding a bag out to her. ‘You would like to feed the horse?’

Angel’s face lit up. ‘You brought carrots? Mum said to bring a carrot but …’

‘Apples actually,’ Michel interrupted.

Angel didn’t need to be told twice. She grabbed the bag and jumped down from the carriage, heading across the snow for the horse up front.

‘Can you see her?’ Hayley asked, moving to the side of the carriage to keep Angel in her line of sight.

‘Yes, I can see her,’ Michel said. ‘Why don’t you come and sit over here?’ He patted the banquette next to him.

Hayley stood up, holding onto the blanket and dropped down next to Michel, settling when she could clearly see Angel offering an apple on the flat of her hand to Marco.

‘She was nervous for today,’ Michel remarked.

‘You guessed,’ Hayley said. She sighed. ‘Yes, it wasn’t me being overprotective, although I seriously am. She was just a little apprehensive, worried about what to talk about, that sort of thing.’

‘Me too,’ Michel admitted. ‘It is all so very different and I want things to go well.’

‘I know,’ Hayley answered.

‘I feel as if every small moment is magnified a thousand times.’ Michel let out a breath. ‘This carriage ride through the park, feels like something monumental.’

‘You mustn’t overthink it,’ Hayley said. ‘That’s what Angel’s doing too. You both need to relax. Just be yourselves.’

Michel ran his hand through his hair, snowflakes fluttering into the air as he moved. ‘I feel I have so much to make up for.’

‘No,’ Hayley shook her head. ‘
I
have so much to make up for.’ She pulled the blanket up over her body. ‘I should have told you when it happened.’

‘We said we would not talk about the past,’ Michel reminded her.

‘I know I just …’

‘Cannot ever stop talking?’ Michel said, smiling. ‘I remember this about you.’

She nodded. ‘I’m taking memorable as good, seeing as we had a child together.’ She watched Angel petting the horse, slipping her fingers between the hairs of its mane.

‘You are getting serious with Oliver?’ Michel asked.

His question surprised her for a second and she had to stall a little, playing with the fringing on the rug before she made her answer. Despite Dean’s first remarks insinuating she might be looking for Michel with a view to the whole mother/father/daughter package there was no reignited spark. Michel was still an attractive guy but there was no chemistry fizzing. Was that why he was asking about Oliver? She looked to him then, analysing his expression. No, there was no flicker of desire from what she could tell.

She sighed. ‘We have a distance issue. He’s here in New York and I live in England.’ She put a finger to her lips, biting on the nail before continuing. ‘But I haven’t felt for anyone what I feel for him.’ She laughed then. ‘Which is completely crazy because it’s so new.’

Michel shrugged. ‘Some of the best things in life are new and come out of the blue.’

Hayley watched his eyes go to Angel then and her heart warmed. This was going to be OK.