Authors: Kelley Lynn
“I looked like a total nerd. A loser. Self absorbed.
I studied really hard
.” I mock the words I said and tuck my hands into my flannel shirt.
Darren shrugs. “You
are
a nerd. And that's why we won.” His lips curl into a light smile. “But you're not a loser.”
I give a halfhearted nod and twirl my hair. A few pieces are stuck in my fingers so I discard the strawberry blonde strands out the tree house window.
Keeping my eyes on the stars, I say, “You guys all did really well. I should have said that.”
Darren sits next to me. “If everyone knew you like I do, they'd know you're not self absorbed⦠most of the time.”
The corner of my lip tugs.
I reach over and pull his beanie over his eyes and then push him so he rolls farther back into the tree house. Before he can see again, I jump to my feet and rush to the telescope, trying to put on a stern face. “If you're not going to look, I will.”
In just one second, I'm transported to a different world. When I put my eye on the scope I glimpse a place we're only beginning to understand. It's a challenge, almost a game. To comprehend what's going on out there before we miss a chance to make a big discovery, the universe forever changed. It's the next frontier. The great unknown.
And I plan on being the one to figure it all out.
“There's Arcturus right at home in the constellation Bootes. Which makes sense because it's spring now,” I explain to Darren though he already knows this.
“Yeah, and Leo still looks weird,” Darren says. I look up to find him writing something in the dirt on the floorboards with a stick, his beanie back in place on top of his head.
I step away from the telescope and rest my arms on the ledge of the worn two-by-four walls, looking up at the night sky, easily finding Leo. The constellation is too big to see through a scope. Just as we've witnessed every night this month, Saturn is butting up to Leo's number one star, Regulus. I breathe in the night air and throw my arms out as if I could fly into outer space and escape.
“Have you told your dad yet about our win?” Darren asks.
I don't look away from the stars. I hold onto them like the constant companion they always are. Like Darren always is.
“No, he hasn't gotten home from work yet.”
“There are these things called cell phones. And these days, you don't even have to call the person. You can just send them a text that says something likeâ¦oh, I don't knowâ¦maybe start with âwe won the State Academic Decathlon Competition!'” Darren shouts it as though it just happened again. I shush him, but not wholeheartedly. Who cares if our neighbors hear? It feels good to share it.
Because we frickin' won.
I'm staring at Darren now. Well, not at him. More like through him. He wiggles his eyebrows forcing me to think about his original question. I shake my head and put my eye back on the telescope.
“I'll tell him when he gets home.”
”Lyra, you know how forgetful your dad is. It doesn't hurt to remind himâ”
“Shh, I'm looking at the stars.”
Darren groans. “You don't need silence to do thatâ”
“Shh.”
“I'm just saying it wouldn't hurt for him to come to
one
â”
“Darren,” I say in a warning tone.
I move the telescope and focus on Leo's Triplet, the small group of spiral galaxies consisting of the M65, the M66, and the NGC 3628. The floating disks in a sea of black and starlight send goose bumps up my arms. “You sure you don't want to look at this?” I ask, finally taking the time to look at him.
His eyes are soft, concerned. After a few seconds of my staring he sits a little straighter and smiles. “Naw, you keep looking. Unless, you want to continue discussing your brilliance in front of a camera.”
I grab the twig next to my foot and chuck it, nailing him between the eyes.
“Hey!” he shouts and throws it back, missing by a foot.
We both laugh at his horrible aim. Or maybe we're still laughing at my interview. In any case, being with Darren is easy.
The look in Darren's eyes changes, more intense, and I watch as a thought forms. His eyebrows dip and his smile mellows. A heat grows in my cheeks so I look at the floorboards and clear my throat. The silence is so sharp we could hear the stars twinkle.
Darren jumps up, brushing the dirt off his jeans. “I should get going. I told Abby and June I'd pick them up some ice cream on the way home. Abby says mint chocolate chip helps her stomachache."
“She has another one? What's wrong?”
Darren shrugs. “They don't know, but they say it's nothing to worry about. Just getting older, I guess.”
“Okay. Well, let me know if you need anything⦔
“We're fine, Lyra.” He squeezes my shoulder. “Better than fine.”
I tug at my hair as I recall the empty refrigerator the last time I was at his house. He's a liar. They're not fine. Darren works, but he's still forgoing lunch tomorrow to buy his sisters their ice cream. I fish through my jean pockets. I have some left over cash from Dad. The astronomy book I wanted wasn't as expensive as I thought it would be.
“Don't.” Darren shakes his head as I pull out the ten-dollar bill.
“I don't need it.”
“I can get my sisters ice cream.” His expression is a little harder, begging me to believe in him.
“Can't you just tell them the ice cream is from me and I'll see them soon?” I let my voice get a little higher, hoping he'll just take the help so I don't have to watch him drink a cup of water and say no to all the food I offer him tomorrow at lunch.
The softness in his eyes is back. His shoulders relax and he picks his backpack up, holding out his hand. “Okay, I'll tell them it's from you.” Calluses from stocking the shelves at the electronics store brush mine when I give him the cash. I leave my hand there for a split second, and then pull away when he speaks. “See ya in the morning.”
“Yeah, see ya.” I rub the fingers that touched his as I watch the top of Darren's beanie descend the ladder. The uneasiness in my stomach disappears with him. Not that Darren makes me uncomfortable. He's my best friend.
I shake the thoughts away and put my eye back on the telescope. I locate the constellation Lyra, basically a rectangle attached to a triangle. Dad was insistent that I would be named after a constellation. I guess Lyra is as good as any.
A loud sigh escapes. Not even the stars can wipe that fiasco of an interview from my brain. I need to apologize to the team.
But the idea of standing in front of all five of them â well, I guess I don't have to count Darren â so all four of them, forming sentences into an apology, makes the muscles in my back tense. I can already picture the hurt in their eyes.
Maybe I'll send them an email. That way I can make sure it's perfect.
I focus on the âSleeping Beauty Galaxy' located in the Coma Berenices constellation. It's one of my favorites. Heck, they're all my favorite. I never let anyone catch me, but sometimes I talk to the stars. As if they'd understand my issues.
Virgo, the second largest constellation, calls for my attention so I focus on the Sombrero Galaxy found within. The galaxy is exactly how it sounds. It looks like a sombrero thanks to the dust rings that⦠whoa.
That can't be.
I shift the telescope around a little and jam my eye harder on the eyepiece.
What the hell? It's almost as ifâ¦
A small noise escapes my throat. I pull my head away from the telescope and stare at it as if it's broken. I force my eye back down. This doesn't make any sense.
Why can't I see it?
Spica, usually in the Virgo constellation, is gone.
I snap the cover shut. It's the eighth astronomy book I've searched. Not to mention all the online research I did before I resorted to physical books. There has to be an explanation for the star I can't see. But so far, no luck.
I push back from the kitchen table, the chair screeching in the silent house. The sound of my soda can popping echoes down the hall. I thought he said he was coming home last night, but I guess it was another long day at the office. That happens with Dad, more often than not.
But I need to talk to him about this.
The clock above the stove says 6:30am. Whoops.
Forty-five minutes later, I'm locking the front door and trudging down the road. I steal a glance at the car in the driveway. I haven't had the time to take Driver's Ed, what with Acadec practices and everything. This summer, I'll get on that.
My shoulders hurt under the weight of my calculus book, and the ninth astronomy book that I hope to look through over lunch. I bring out my cell and quickly skim an article as I walk, but there's nothing in this one either.
Darren's leaning on the mailbox when I get to his house, looking calm and content. Immediately when he sees me he stands up straight.
“What's wrong?”
I shrug and try to make my voice light. “Why would there be anything wrong?”
He gestures to me. “You're all pouty and it looks like you're thinking so hard it hurts.”
I pull my backpack higher on my shoulders and look around the neighborhood for eavesdroppers. Not like anyone would really know what I'm talking about. Or care.
I take a few steps toward school and Darren falls in alongside me. “I saw something last night that I can't figure out.”
“Huh. Lyra, stumped?
That's
newsworthy.” Darren laughs and punches me lightly on the shoulder.
“I don't know everything, Darren.”
He spins so he's walking backward. His smile is gone.
“I'm sorry. That was meant to be funnyâ”
“It's fine.”
“No, I hurt your feelings. That's not
fine
.”
“How about⦠it's okay?”
His lip tugs a little. “We'll work on it. So what's wrong?”
“Pothole.”
“What?” His heel hits the pothole in the road. His arms windmill and I reach out to grab hold of him before he falls.
“Thanks.” He says, breathless. I stare at my hand holding onto his arm. It's gone instantly warm. So have my cheeks. When he clears his throat, I let go of my death grip and shake my head awake.
“No problem. Maybe walk forward from now on?”
“Good idea.”
We walk another half a block in silence.
“So are you going to tell me what's bothering you?”
“I was looking at the constellation Virgo after you left.” He nods for me to continue. “And I couldn't find Spica.”
“What do you mean, you couldn't find it?”
“I mean, I looked, for a long time, and itâ¦wasn't there.” I shake my head at the foolish thought. “Or, for whatever reason, I couldn't see it.”
“How do stars usually leave the sky? I mean, they do right? Falling stars and all that?”
“Falling stars aren't actually stars, Darren.” A smile tugs at my lip. “They're meteoroids as they enter the Earth's atmosphere.”
“Oh, that's right. I knew that.”
“Sure.” I chuckle.
“I did!”
“I said, I believe you.” I kick a stone down the road.
“But you said it in that âI don't believe you' tone.”
I clear my throat. “I believe you.”
“That's better.” He smiles wide. “So refresh my memory on how stars could leave the sky since they're not meteoroids.”
I snort and laugh.
“Some stars die, but it's a process. If they're the size of our sun they become a red giant, then a white dwarf. There's a bit more to it, but that's the gist.”
Darren nods, so I continue.
“If they're bigger than our sun they become a supernova. That isn't anything we would miss. The last one happened in the 17
th
century and you could see it during the day.”
“Whoa,” Darren whispers.
“And those that are even bigger turn into black holes. Spica wasn't big enough for that.”
“Maybe something was in front of the star, like an asteroid.”
I tilt my head, thinking about this theory, but then shake it. “If something was blocking it, it would have passed by within the time I was looking.” I shift my backpack. “But there
has
to be a logical explanation.” There always is. “I'll figure it out.”
“You weren't looking in the wrong part of the sky, were you?”
I turn to him. His eyes glint with mischief. I punch him on the shoulder and try to erase the smile from my face.
“Maybe I was just really tired.”
“Or on a high from our State win!” He grabs my shoulders and shakes them. I laugh along with him.
“Yeah, that too.”
Darren lets go and grabs the handle on the top of my backpack, gently shaking me around as we finish our walk to school.
I raise my head from staring at my feet when I hear the echo of car horns. Morning greetings from our peers float among the beater cars in the school lot. None are directed at me.
I avert my gaze as we cross the lot. It's better not to make eye contact. Darren waves to his friends. Even though he's a nerd he pretty much gets along with everyone at school. And yet he stills hangs out with me. Still considers me his best friend. I'm not oblivious to the fact I offend people, no matter how hard I try not to. I peer at Darren through my hair. He turns his smile from a classmate to me and shrugs when he catches me watching him.
“What?” He laughs.
I shake my head and look at my shoes again. “Nothing.”
“If you say so.”
Darren holds the door open for me and we make our way through the halls. I steal looks at my classmates, their lockers. The inside of a locker is perfect for gathering information on my school. Who's dating, who's friends, what's popular. I don't watch TV or hangout online or read magazines, so the hallways are my goldmine for information.