Authors: Kelly Jamieson
“I made fun of you a lot, didn’t I.” He said it as a statement, a heavy feeling settling in his gut.
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry, Kaelin.”
“I know why you did it,” she said. “I guess I always sort of did.”
“You hit the nail on the head last night when you told me I was covering up my own insecurities by mocking other people. That was exactly what I did. But…” He glanced at Nick, took in his attentive expression. “I don’t do that as much anymore. Right?”
Nick smiled slowly. “Not quite as much, yeah.”
“This trip home has been tough,” Tyler added.
“You know, you could have a better relationship with your parents,” Kaelin said, rubbing over his pecs. God that felt good. “If you tried. Maybe if you talked to them.”
He shook his head. There was more to that than she knew, more than he had any intention of telling her. “Not gonna happen. They don’t want that either.”
“I think they do,” she said slowly. “Your mom talks about you all the time, Tyler. She bragged about you to me, about your degree, the great job you got in Chicago, now you opening your own business.”
“Because I’ve finally done something they can brag about,” he said bitterly. “They still don’t feel any differently about me.”
“I don’t think that’s true.”
“You heard my mom last night,” Tyler said. “She immediately jumped to the conclusion that I’d done something to piss you off, when you slapped me. And guess what? She was right.”
Kaelin pressed her lips together and said nothing. What could she say? It was true.
“I only came back for Avery,” he said. “Because she’s getting married and she wanted me here. I just want to get this damn wedding over with and get the hell back to Chicago.”
She nodded but her eyelids lowered and he wished he hadn’t expressed that quite so forcefully. Although they all knew this was definitely a one-night thing. It wasn’t as if she didn’t know he was leaving on Sunday. She’d said that herself.
She looked at Nick, then back at Tyler. “So your parents don’t know about you and Nick?”
Tyler’s mouth twisted. “I don’t think so, but I think they know something, or suspect it anyway. I don’t remember exactly when it happened, but back in high school, all of a sudden they didn’t want me hanging around with Nick anymore. Even though they’d always thought he was a good influence on me.”
“I tried,” Nick drawled.
Kaelin smiled.
“I think they knew something was going on and they wanted to put a stop to it before it got out and ruined their precious reputation.”
She nibbled her bottom lip and nodded. “Hmm. Maybe.”
“We knew there were rumors going around about us,” Nick said.
“But we didn’t give a shit,” Tyler added. “In fact, at that point I kind of enjoyed the idea that my parents would freak out about it, like I said. I know it was immature. But Jesus, we were young and I was messed up.”
“Oh, Tyler. You couldn’t have been that messed up. Look at you now. You have a successful career and a relationship with a great guy.”
“It’s not a relationship.” Tyler didn’t look at Nick. “Just so you know. I mean, yeah, we live together and we fool around and stuff, but…”
“We still date women,” Nick added. “Well, Tyler does more than I do. Someday he’s going to meet the right woman and he’ll get married and…” His voice trailed off but he smiled. “Right, Tyler?”
Tyler knew Nick’s feelings for him were different than his feelings for Nick. He loved the guy, and yeah, there was sexual attraction, and Nick knew him better than anyone in the world and loved him despite that. But Tyler knew himself too, and knew if he was going to fall in love, the forever kind of love—and that was a big
if
—it was going to be with a woman. Nick accepted that, and though they’d never had any kind of deep discussion about it, Tyler kind of suspected Nick hoped that was never going to happen. It was one of those deeply awkward, uncomfortable topics they successfully avoided ever having to discuss, though it always lurked there below the surface.
“Right.” He met Kaelin’s eyes. “I know it sounds weird, but that’s the way it is for us.”
“I can’t say I totally understand,” she said, but she smiled. “But I don’t think any kind of love can ever be bad. If you care about each other, that’s all that matters. Thank you for telling me about that. I’m honored that you trust me enough. And thank you for sharing each other with me tonight.”
Tyler’s heart tightened at her words. She was thanking him. Jesus god, what had he done to deserve thanks? He reached for her and hauled her onto his lap, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her, long and desperate and wild. Her hands slid into his hair and she kissed him back. When they finally moved apart, panting, they both looked at Nick.
“Come here,” Kaelin whispered. She extended a hand to Nick, and Tyler did the same, glad that she had said that, because he felt the same way. He had pretty strong feelings for Kaelin, always had, but he didn’t want Nick to feel excluded. Because even though Nick loved him, Tyler knew Nick cared about Kaelin too.
Nick moved on the bed, closer, until he was sitting right beside them, and he laid a hand on Kaelin’s back. Their three faces were so close together. Tyler wanted to kiss Nick, to reassure him, of what he wasn’t sure. This was a crazy one-night thing and didn’t change anything for them. But Tyler looked at Kaelin, unsure what she’d think about that.
Understanding and warmth filled her eyes when he met them, and she leaned to kiss Nick herself. And then she drew back and said, “Go ahead. Kiss him.”
Tyler held her gaze for a long moment then turned his face toward Nick, his strong-jawed face, his clear and steady silvery gaze. And Nick moved too, and their mouths met in a hot, clinging kiss.
Chapter Nine
Kaelin watched the two men kiss, heat sliding over her, through her. Her own mouth parted almost hungrily as their mouths met. Softness expanded in her chest, stealing her breath. She watched Tyler’s hand come up to Nick’s face, their eyes closed, open mouths fused. Oh. Oh wow.
After a long, deep kiss, they slowly drew apart and both men looked at her. She gave them a shaky smile, unprepared for how she felt about watching them. Emotional. Aroused.
She knew she liked to watch, though she’d kept that kink buried deep inside her along with her desire to be tied up. There’d always been a forbidden thrill about watching, along with a measure of guilt too, going way back to the time when she was a teenager and had been in the park, sitting on a bench reading a book and had seen a couple, strangers, stretched out on a blanket not far away, making out. She’d watched them over the top of her book, guilty but turned-on.
And that night she’d walked in on Tyler and Nick and that girl, she’d stood behind the door and watched way too long, hurt and shocked, but fascinated, with prurient interest.
But she’d never dreamed about watching this. Tyler and Nick. Two men. It surprised her, but on another level, it felt so completely right. The way they looked at each other, the emotions she sensed between them, the ease with which they touched each other, so comfortable and confident, it made it beautiful to watch. Absolutely, heart-meltingly beautiful.
“Let’s lie down,” Tyler said, shifting her off his lap. “Need a rest.” They arranged themselves under the covers, Kaelin in the middle on her back, the guys on their stomachs, each with an arm flung across her. The heat from their big bodies warmed her, their arms pleasantly heavy on her. She kept thinking about that kiss, awareness now acute that the two men on either side of her probably wanted to touch each other as much as they wanted to touch her. And she wanted that too.
If she was going to have this one wicked night, she might as well have it all.
“Have you ever thought about moving?” Tyler asked.
Huh?
She turned her head on the pillow to look at him. “What do you mean?”
“Moving. Away from Mapleglen.”
“Um. Well. Not seriously.”
“But you’ve thought of it?”
Why was he asking her this?
“Avery wants me to move to Los Angeles.” She closed her eyes and pressed her face against Tyler’s shoulder, found Nick’s hip with one hand. “But I can’t move away from here.”
“Why not?”
Just like his sister, he didn’t accept her answer. Why not? Why couldn’t they understand that this was her life? She’d lived here since she was born and didn’t know anything else. “Because I have my job here. A life here.” Not much of a life lately, but still… “I have my house. My dog.”
“Why’d you move back here? After college?” Tyler asked.
“I had to.” She turned her head to look at him. “My mom died just after I finished college. My dad…well, you know about him.”
“Not very much, actually.”
She’d assumed everyone knew about her dad and what had happened to him. “He was hurt in an accident at work,” she told them. “When I was fourteen. He had a broken arm and leg and a head injury. His arm healed, but not his brain.” She sighed, remembering how physically he’d looked the same, big and strong, but he’d never been the same person again. Instead he’d been like a child, with poor impulse control, no short-term memory and no inhibitions. Her dad had been taken away from her in that accident and had never come back. “The first few years after his accident were hard,” she continued. “It was like he was a different person. We had some help, but mom started working night shifts at the hospital so she could be home during the day. My dad didn’t have much insight into what had happened to him and lived happily on in his own world. But he couldn’t be left alone for any length of time because he’d do things like leave the stove on or cut his finger off with a knife, so we had to try to be there as much as we could for him.”
Part of the reason her teenage social life had been so dismal. Why so many nights, including Saturday nights, had been spent at home studying. Although it had been important to her to get good marks, she’d also felt an obligation to help out and look after her dad.
“It was really hard on my mom, looking after him all by herself while I was away at college, but she was managing. But then she got breast cancer. I’d been hoping to go to law school, but that was okay.” It really wasn’t. She’d wanted to practice law pretty much her whole life, had done well in college, and had aced her LSAT, but when she’d had to come home to Mapleglen, she’d pushed away the disappointment to do what had to be done.
Tyler stroked her hair.
“My mom didn’t discover the cancer until it was too far advanced to do anything. I don’t think she looked after herself very well. After she died, I had to stay home to look after my dad, but a few years later he had a stroke. Probably a consequence of the brain injury.” She closed her eyes remembering the loss of her parents so close together. It had been a few years, so it wasn’t as painful as it once was.
“I’m sorry.” Tyler said the words, and Nick added, “Me too, Kaelin.”
“It’s okay.”
“What about going back to school? Ever think of that?”
All the time.
“Sometimes, yeah. But I like my job. And you know what they say—a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. I figured I was better to hang on to what I had here—a job, a home, friends—than to give it up and go after something unknown.” Something scary.
The men were silent.
“I know that’s not how you live your lives,” she whispered. “But it’s how I live mine.”
Tyler rolled to face her and his blue eyes studied her. “As long as you’re happy,” he said. “That’s what counts. Are you happy here, Kaelin?”
She stared back at him, a tightness in her chest, an ache deep inside.
“Of course I am,” she lied.
He nodded, looking as if he didn’t believe her, but pulled her up against him, Nick warm and big on her other side.
“What about you two?” she asked. “You’re happy in Chicago?”
“Yeah. I love it there,” Tyler said. “So much energy, so much happening.”
“And your business is going well.”
This time Nick answered. “Pretty good.”
She turned back to him. “That didn’t sound enthusiastic.”
Nick grinned. “We’ve only been in business a year. It takes a few years to get going, but we’re doing okay. We actually made money the first year, which is unusual.”
“He’s the numbers guy,” Tyler said. “I’m the creative. We’re in the middle of trying to sign a big new client, but we’re having a…hmm…difference of opinion on it.”
“Who’s the client? What’s the problem?”
“The client is Healthy Solutions.”
“Wow. Big company.”
“Oh yeah,” Tyler said. “Huge. This would really establish us in the advertising business in Chicago.”
“In the whole country,” Nick said, but his mouth twisted.
“So what’s the problem?” Kaelin looked back and forth between them, rolling her head on the pillow.
Tyler propped his head up on an elbow. “What’s the problem, Nick?”
Nick also rose, and the two men looked at each other across her. Oh-oh. She hadn’t meant to start a battle here. There was clearly some tension between them over this.
“The stuff they sell is useless crap,” Nick said.
“Oh.” Well that was blunt.
“Their image is all natural and healthy and herbal products,” Nick continued with heat in his voice. “But that stuff doesn’t do shit. They’re taking advantage of people, selling dreams.”
“That’s what advertising is,” Tyler said. “It’s not up to us to judge the products.”
“I think it is.”
“We can’t do that in every case! You think we should never advertise condoms because of moral reasons? Come on.”
“We’re not talking about condoms, which is a whole other tricky issue. We’re talking about creams that will increase a woman’s bust by two cup sizes.”
Kaelin perked up. “There’s a cream that will do that?”
They both gave her a look.
“I’m kidding,” she said, relaxing again. “Healthy Solutions sells that?”
“Yeah. Along with herbal pills for erectile dysfunction and whole bunch of different cures for cancer.”
“Oooh.” Yeah, that was low. “But don’t they sell vitamins too? They’re in all the drugstores.”