One White Lie: Barrington Billionaire's Series: Book One (17 page)

He debated going with the standard dark cherry boring set like he had but then his eye caught a bed that had a frame built like a race car. The hood of the car opened and turned into a slide, and the tires opened to reveal shelves to store toys.
Where was this stuff when I was growing up?
Brice didn’t stop there. His search revealed every crazy type of bed one could imagine. From castles to dragons. Every once in a while he would click on one and find it was for a girl, for a princess.
Next one needs to be a girl.

What the fuck?
He would have punched anyone who would have said he was having one child, never mind letting a second one cross his mind.
The next one?
The thought shocked him. He hadn’t planned on one, had no idea what being a full-time parent meant. He knew he wanted what the Barringtons had, but that didn’t mean he could do it. They were different people. Two parents with one goal. He and Lena couldn’t seem to agree on anything.
Except in the bedroom.
But that wasn’t going to make a good home for one child, let alone more.

He closed the laptop and left the lab. He was spending too much time dealing with the material things, not what was important.
Time.

When he went to the office again Lena was on the phone. “Yes, Mr. West. I’ll be sure to give him your message. Yes, I understand. I’m sure he will call you at his earliest convenience. Have a good day.”

She handled those calls almost as well as Nancy. If she only could learn how to be mean and tell them off she would be perfect.
But you’re already perfect in my eyes. Don’t change.
She was what every man would want by his side. The problem wasn’t her. It was him. He was the last thing she needed.

“Brice. Did you need something?”

“Yes. Let’s get out of here. Tell the answering service to take calls until the end of the week.”

“I thought we discussed this. I’m not quitting.”

“Good. Now as a good employee, do as I say.”

Lena picked up the phone and dialed the number. He listened as she gave them the information as he directed.

“Now what?” Lena asked.

He reached out and took her hand. “It’s too beautiful to sit inside. Let’s go pick up our son. Have you taken him to the children’s museum yet?”

Lena shook her head. “Are you feeling okay, Brice?”

He wasn’t sure. He knew he didn’t feel like himself. If this was a good or bad thing was unclear. He hadn’t changed. Business and success meant everything to him, but what would a few days off change? On Monday, Nancy would be back in the office, and everything would be back to normal.
It’s only a few days. Nothing more.

L
ena had no idea what had gotten into Brice. One minute he’d been telling her to be a stay-at-home mother, the next he was taking time off to spend with Nicholas. She had no doubt this was going to be short-lived. There was an unforeseen lull in his work at this time but once Asher gave the go-ahead, it would be back to normal.
Living and breathing the job and nothing else will matter.

It was good she realized that. That way Lena didn’t set herself up for heartache later when he no longer showed any interest. There had been a few changes at his home, but none that affected her.

Nicholas now had his own bedroom, one that looked more like an apartment. It had everything a child could imagine and more. He spent hours going up and down the slide until he finally laid himself down on his bed and decided it was time for a nap.

He had always slept with her, mostly due to lack of space in their apartment. He was in the room next to hers, and she had the baby monitor on all night, but she felt lost without him. It hadn’t hit her until that first night alone that she needed him as much as he needed her.

Each night when they put Nicholas to bed, Lena thought for sure Brice would try making a move on her. She missed the nearness of him, and she was sure he must feel the same. There were things that weren’t important now, and an active sex life was definitely at the bottom of the list.
With me.
It was one more thing that, once he was bored with it, he brushed to the side.
And I’m one of those things. Is that what happened three years ago? He’d simply become bored with me?

The remainder of the week was like a family vacation. Brice never went to the office. Of course neither did she. Every day they went on a new adventure. Some big, some small, but always together. They didn’t talk about the future, about family, or anything permanent. She wanted to bring it up. She wanted to talk about what comes next, but each time she hinted at the subject he cut her off.

She had been awake most of the night, and morning had already come. What she knew would happen, did. Brice got up long before dawn and slipped off to work. The happy little family unit they’d had was over. Reality was back. Today it was just Nicholas and her.
We were okay before, and we will be again. Is it time to move back to my apartment? Is that what Brice wants?

Being back at work felt good. A few days without a routine was nice yet unnerving. Every time he was near Lena he felt himself slipping, wanting her more and more. The best and worst times were watching her with Nicholas. He had always known she was a special person. Loving, caring, and gentle.
Everything I’m not.
But when he watched her with Nicholas, she blossomed into the most amazing woman. She was a natural teacher and had the patience of a saint.

Nicholas had had an occasional tantrum on the floor because he was overtired when Brice had kept him up past his nap. Lena knew exactly how to calm him without giving in to his bad behavior. Within minutes, Nicholas was fast asleep and all was well again. Growing up, if he was crying his father would have said, “Wipe those tears or I’ll really give you something to cry about.” The reason behind tears didn’t matter. Injury, sickness, or loneliness, the end result had always been the same.
And there had been many times he had given us something to cry about.

Brice had feared an abusive father was something passed down genetically. Scientifically, that shouldn’t be possible, but that was why he’d chosen to never have children.
A reason why I ended it with Lena all those years ago. I knew she wanted a family. She deserved a family.
He slammed his fist on his desk.
They both deserve someone better than what I can give them.

He didn’t need to work late, but he did anyway. It was time for them to get back to the way things were, the way they had always been and always would be. It wasn’t going to be easy, not for him or either of them, but it would be the best for Lena and Nicholas in the long run. People like him were meant to be alone.
For their sake, not mine.

“What are you doing here so late, Brice? I thought you would be going home by now.”

“Nancy, when have you ever seen me leave before nine?”

Nancy shook her head. “I was hoping . . .”

Brice arched his brow. “Hoping what? That your little matchmaking game would work?”

“You know about that?” Nancy admitted.

“You’re lucky you are invaluable to me or your ass would be on unemployment and I would make sure no one would hire you again.”

Nancy laughed. “Oh, if I had a dollar for every time you said that to me.”

“Glad you find this humorous. I don’t. My personal life is just that. Personal.”

“Yes, Mr. Henderson. Whatever you say, Mr. Henderson,” Nancy said in a joking tone as she turned and headed back to her desk. “If you don’t mind, I am leaving, as I
do
have a life outside of B&H and I’d like to keep it that way.”

Good to have you back, Nancy. You’re such a pain in the ass. I’ve missed you.
With the office now silent he was left with nothing but his own thoughts and they led him to the one place he didn’t want to go.
Lena.

It had been more than a week since he’d tasted her, held her in his arms. His cock was aching to be in her. Did she purposely wear tight jeans that hugged her perfectly round ass? And why did she always bend over in front of him? Was she trying to kill him? Didn’t she realize his control was starting to break? If he didn’t stay away today he knew he would have her tonight.

That’s not happening since it’s my turn at the hospital.
He needed an update from the one person who seemed to give a damn.

“Zoey. Any change?”

“Brice, good news. He is awake, not saying much, but awake. Are you still coming tonight? It’s been a long day, and I need a break.”

“I’ll be there shortly.”

Before putting his phone away he texted Lena. “Not coming home tonight. Say good night to Nicholas for me.”

Being an asshole comes so naturally to me. Will she wonder where I am? Will she assume I’m at the hospital, or with someone else?

The night at the hospital was anything but usual. Zoey said their father wasn’t talking much. The entire time Brice was there he talked nonstop. Nothing Brice wanted to hear. Things he could never repeat. Things about him and his siblings.
We’re even more fucked up than anyone can imagine.

Was it his father’s way of messing with him one last time? He shared with Brice why he’d acted the way he had. What his childhood had been like.
And I thought you were bad, Dad. You had it worse than we did.
That didn’t make anything better. Understanding where he came from actually seemed to make it worse. There was no way he could share this with his brothers and Zoey. It was best that it died with him.
And now I carry the burden of this knowledge. This sick fucking knowledge. Is this a sign that I have no right to be a father? How can I be a fit father knowing where I come from?

No matter how hard it was to process all the shit just unloaded onto him, it didn’t change the fact that his father had lost the battle. His heart gave out. His suffering was over.
And mine begins.

He called his sister and gave her the news. “Dad’s gone.” What he didn’t understand was why she broke down crying. Dad had been so mean, so abusive to her.
God, I’m not even sure he knew she existed.
But with what his dad had just shared, he understood why. She represented everything he’d hated.
We all do, but most of all Zoey.

Brice needed a drink. Leaving the hospital, he went to the one place he knew he could escape reality.
Home . . . to Lena.

N
icholas was fast asleep in his room, and with Brice not coming home there was no reason she shouldn’t take advantage of the huge tub in his master bedroom.
One bubble bath won’t hurt anything, and he won’t ever have to know.

It wasn’t like there was a horrible bathroom in his home, but the guest room only had a shower. It was very nice, better than anything she would ever have, but she’d always liked a tub.
Soft music, lots of bubbles, and a glass of wine.
Sliding in so only her head was out of the water, she moaned.
Heaven.

It had been a long day. After only a few days of Brice being around, Nicholas had adapted quickly. His new routine of “follow Daddy and copy everything he is doing” didn’t happen today. He was whiny and looked lost. Lena knew he was missing his daddy. Brice probably didn’t comprehend the impact he was having on Nicholas.
It’s his loss. Enjoy your job, Brice. I’m glad you have something that makes you happy, but don’t hurt my boy.

This was all new territory. She wasn’t sure what to do. Normally she would call brother Gary and talk things through. For a guy he really was a good listener. But this wasn’t something he could relate to. He was single, no children. What could a bachelor tell her that could help?
I really need to speak to Mom. I don’t need her to solve my problems, but I would value her counsel. Maybe tomorrow.
She knew she owed her parents an explanation as to why she had hidden Brice’s paternity for so long. She was sure her parents thought she didn’t know the father’s name since she had refused to tell them. That was never the issue. If they had known, they would have forced the issue and maybe Brice would have turned his back on them a second time. Lena believed things worked out the way they were supposed to if you didn’t try forcing them. Brice may have lost two years with Nicholas, but she had to believe they would make up for it now.

The soft music was food for her soul, and the hot water eased her aching muscles. She didn’t know there were tubs that kept the temperature the same from start to end.
Like I needed another reason not to get out.

She closed her eyes and let the music flow through her. It was a song she remembered dancing to with Brice one night long ago. They had traveled to Newport to hear some band jam. A local band had been competing. Brice hadn’t wanted to go, but back then he did a lot of things he didn’t want to. Mostly because it made her happy. Now he does only what he wants. She wasn’t sure that made him happy. There were a few times when she thought the spark of life that was once there had returned. But as quickly as it appeared, it disappeared. No, Brice was anything but happy.

Was there something she could do to help him find his way?
Did he want to find happiness?
Lena had read that some people liked to be miserable. She didn’t know anyone like that. Mostly because if they were negative people she cut them out of her life. It was hard enough to stay positive without surrounding yourself with people waiting to bring you down all the time.

So why do I still want to be with Brice?
He was the only person who had ever hurt her that deeply. Left her crushed emotionally. He also was the only person who had made her feel so alive. When they were together he had treated her as a special jewel. Something had happened to change it so abruptly. Even now she didn’t fully understand what caused their breakup. If she erased that nightmare from her mind for good, she would be left remembering a wonderful love story.

And there she had her answer. Through the pain, one thing survived.
My love for him.
No matter what transpired between them—the arguments, the misunderstandings, having a child—nothing made her stop loving him. The only reason he was able to hurt her so badly was because she loved him so much.
Life’s cruel joke. Well, I’m going to get the last laugh; I’m still standing. You haven’t won.

But how far will I allow him to hurt me? If he never loves me back, but finds someone else to warm his bed, how will I cope with that?
She could see living with him was not something she should continue to do. He didn’t want her. He might enjoy her sexually, but that wasn’t enough for her. She wanted the fairy tale, her beloved, her other half. That wasn’t in Brice’s plan and goals he had set for himself. There was no room for her, at least not the way she wanted. She needed to face the facts. This wasn’t going to be a permanent thing. Soon, they would go their separate ways, but at least Nicholas would have two parents now who loved him.
Something good came out of all this.

Taking another sip of wine, she reached to put it back on the edge of the tub. It slipped and fell to the bathmat.
Oh shit. How am I going to explain red wine on his white rug?

Getting out of the tub she bent over and tried to wipe off as much as she could.

It was getting worse. The rug was stained with the red wine and the floor was getting wetter as bubbles slid down her body to the floor.

“So much for sneaking in a quick bath.”

“And here I thought you were waiting for me,” Brice’s husky voice said from the doorway.

Naked, she turned to meet his gaze. The hunger in his eyes burned her flesh. Every part of her brain told her to turn away. They shouldn’t do this, not again. It would only complicate things more. But she couldn’t move.

“I thought you weren’t coming home.”

“I’m glad I did.” His eyes traveled her full length, and her body reacted.

“I should go to my room.” Her voice shook with desire.

Brice stepped closer and gently touched her chin, tipping her face to look at him. “You should stay with me.” Pulling her against him, she could feel his arousal, and that left little question as to what he wanted.

As he bent to kiss her, she felt her legs tremble.
Please. Don’t. We shouldn’t.
She wanted to stop him but the words were lost as his lips claimed hers. Slowly at first, as though he had never kissed her before. He traced her lips with his tongue, teasing and encouraging them to open for him, which they did. He was driving her over the edge with only his kisses. If she didn’t stop now, she wouldn’t be able to. Need roared through her body. She wanted him like she had never wanted him before.

His hands cupped her breasts and pinched her nipples softly. Lena moaned into his mouth as he kissed her.
God, I need you, Brice.

His mouth left hers and trailed kisses slowly down her neck, to her collarbone, and finally stopped at her breast. Taking one nipple gently in his mouth, he sucked and nibbled. When she thought she couldn’t take any more, he moved his attention to her other breast, repeating the process.

“Lena, I want to taste every inch of you.”

The heat in the pit of her stomach flowed through the rest of her body. He picked her up in his arms and carried her to his bed. He undressed and joined her. Both stood naked and hot with need.

There was no stopping now, and she didn’t want it to. She wanted him, loved him, and needed him. Reaching out, she pushed him back onto the bed.

“First I taste you.” She slowly ran her fingers up the front of his legs, over his hips, and finally on his swollen shaft that was begging for her lips. Never turning her eyes from his, her tongue darted out and licked the tip, then blew gently on it. A husky groan rumbled through him.

“Oh God, Lena.”

His body tensed as her tongue continued to lick the length of him and back to the tip. His soft gray eyes darkened as he watched her. She loved knowing the effect she was having on him. It increased her own desire. He let out a deep growl as she took him deep within her mouth, stroking him with one hand and sucking him, teasing the head with her tongue before going deep again. Her need grew, so did her rhythm, faster and more aggressive. No longer giving, she was now taking what she wanted. His hands tangled in her long dark curly hair as he guided her head faster, deeper. His moans grew louder, proof she was driving him crazy. The more he moaned the more she was turned on. She knew it wouldn’t be long before she claimed her prize.

Then in one quick movement he pulled away, his breathing ragged. “If you don’t stop, I won’t be able to hold back.”

Brice grabbed her by her wrist and pulled her onto him then rolled over so she lay beneath him. “Now I taste you.” His kisses were fierce as he made his way lower, over her flat stomach then the tops of her thighs. Parting her legs with one hand he had full access to her delicate folds.

His fingers parted her so his tongue could lick her clit. Her body shuddered as his tongue darted in and out again and again. Then he circled her clit, sending her mind whirling. “You taste so sweet.” His words echoed through her. She fisted the sheets beneath her when he sucked her harder. Cries of pleasure filled the room.
Oh God, this feels so good.
When she thought it couldn’t feel any better he inserted a finger inside her, sending her body in waves of a climax that rocked her. She clenched around him as her release continued. “Yes. Oh yes.”

Her body still pulsing from the first wave, she felt his breath warm against her neck when he whispered, “You don’t know how badly I want to feel you wrapped around me.” He pulled away slightly, but she held him in place with her legs.

She felt him thick and hot, teasing her entrance. “Please, Brice. I need you now,” she begged.

“I don’t want to hurt you, but I need you so badly.” His voice filled with need.

Lifting her hips to him she offered herself. He entered her in a swift thrust. He was large, but she was wet and ready for him. Her body welcomed him.
Yes!
She rocked her hips against him, meeting each thrust with her own.

He rode her hard and fast. Both of them hungry for more and each willing to give it. He cupped her breasts holding them so he could suck her nipples, never losing a beat. He nipped her nipple and her body went wild. “Please, Brice. I need to—” Her climax came stronger than the one before.

“Yes. Oh fuck, yes.” His voice was husky as his body joined hers.

She tried biting her lip to contain her screams, but he seized them with his own as she felt him shudder against her one final time before they collapsed into each other’s arms.

They both lay there gasping for breath with their legs tangled together. She tried to move but Brice held her to him. He kissed her forehead and said, “Stay with me tonight.”

She was about to tell him she couldn’t but there was something in his voice that sounded desperate. “Brice—”

“Please, Lena. Don’t ask. Just stay with me tonight. That’s all I’m asking. One night.”

She would stay, because he needed her and because she couldn’t bring herself to leave.
One night is all you’re asking for, but I need so much more.

Although he was exhausted and his eyes were closed, sleep didn’t come. His father’s words haunted him. If his intentions were to share all his dirty little secrets so he could die with a clear conscious, then he should have asked for a minister, not one of his children.
And definitely not me.

For many years they all had been asking questions:
Why do you hate us so much? What happened to make you so mean? What happened to our mother?
The answers had now been provided, but never had he thought the truth would be so fucking ugly.

Brice had always tried to protect the others from their father’s wrath whether it was verbal or physical. With his death, he should no longer need to do so, but now he knew differently. He never wanted them to feel what he was feeling right now. An emotional war was taking place within him. Part of him was glad his father was gone; the abusive legacy had ended. Now he only felt sorrow for everything he’d learned about his father’s past.

Last week he’d been bitching to Lena that a mother’s place was home with her children. After hearing what severe abuse his father had suffered at the hands of their grandmother, he wished his father had been raised by nannies or placed in daycare. No one could have damaged a person’s psyche any more than his grandmother had.
I had always wanted more family. But I’m glad we never knew her.

Brice wasn’t sure if she was alive or dead, however, it didn’t matter. If she was half as bad as what his father told him, he wanted nothing to do with her.

Finding his mother on the other hand was going to be challenging and maybe impossible, but he would try. Once he found her, he could decide if he would share the information with his siblings. Until he was convinced she would bring something good into their lives—that they would actually benefit from knowing her—she would remain a mystery to them.
We’ve all suffered enough in this family. It had to end eventually. Let it end here with me.