One Way or Another (24 page)
Read One Way or Another Online
Authors: Rhonda Bowen
Chapter 31
A
dam followed the custody officer down the halls of the police precinct that had over the past three years become all too familiar to him. He silently wondered how it was that his day could go from 100 to 0 in only a few moments, but that was what had come to be his life at Jacob's House. Every high moment, every achievement, was merely the calm before the next storm. And now that he was standing in the eye again, he was wondering how far-reaching the bands of this particular catastrophe would be.
dam followed the custody officer down the halls of the police precinct that had over the past three years become all too familiar to him. He silently wondered how it was that his day could go from 100 to 0 in only a few moments, but that was what had come to be his life at Jacob's House. Every high moment, every achievement, was merely the calm before the next storm. And now that he was standing in the eye again, he was wondering how far-reaching the bands of this particular catastrophe would be.
The court officer hadn't been interested in much of what Adam or Immanuel's lawyerâthe one who occasionally helped out Jacob's Houseâhad to say. Technically this had been Tarik's fourth strike. The first time he had been caught hanging out in his old neighborhood Adam had managed to squash it and keep it off his file. But the second time, the police had been there and so there was no hiding it. First strike.
After that it was suspension from school for fighting. Second strike. Adam remembered sitting Tarik down and explaining how serious his record was. If he got in trouble again before his term was done, there would only be one optionâreal jail time. Three to five in a state facility. Tarik had said he understood, but as Adam followed the custody officer into the small windowless visitors' room, Adam began to doubt that the young man in fact had.
“Please be reminded that you are not allowed to touch the prisoner,” the officer said as he directed Adam to a chair on one side of the single table in the room.
“Any sudden movements will be regarded as hostile and lead to an immediate termination of the visit. A guard will be in the room at all times. Any questions?”
Adam shook his head and sat down. A few moments later, a door on the other side of the room opened and Tarik shuffled in with restraints on his wrists and a scowl on his face. When he looked up and saw Adam, a flash of something that he suspected might be regret passed over Tarik's features. But it was gone before Adam had time to be sure, and replaced with the default emotion for most of the boys at Jacob's Houseâindifference.
Tarik slumped into the chair across from Adam as the guard took up position at the door. The two men looked at each other for a long time, neither saying anything. Adam had questions, and yet none of them really mattered, none of them would change the current situation.
“So what, boss? You got something to say to me, or you just wanna get one last look at my mug before they lock me up and throw away the key?”
“I'm not your boss anymore,” Adam said.
Tarik nodded. “Yeah, you must be glad about that.”
Adam narrowed his eyes, trying to understand what was going on in Tarik's head. “Why are you here, Tarik?” he asked.
“You know why,” he said dryly. “ 'Cause five-oh picked me up.”
“Yes, I know that part,” Adam said. “What I don't know is why you were trying to hitch a ride out of state.”
The young man curled his lip and shifted his eyes away from Adam.
“You knew the rules,” Adam said. “You knew that if you ever tried to leave the state without a judge's permission that it would be over. You knew you were down to your last strike.”
Tarik continued to give Adam attitude.
“I don't understand you, man. You had what, seven months left? By this time next year you would have been free and clear.”
Tarik shrugged. “I wasn't feeling the Jacob's House vibe anymore. I'm nineteen. I can't be hanging around a bunch of kids just waitin' for something to happen. A brother needs to live his life.”
“How were you planning to do that?” Adam asked angrily. “Did you even think it through? Don't you think you would have been on the police radar once they realized you had skipped the program? How were you going to live your life with a sentence hanging over you?”
Tarik shrugged and turned cold eyes on Adam. “The same way you did.”
Adam felt his insides turn to stone as Tarik's words slammed into him. He blinked several times and tried to recover, but he knew everything he was feeling was all over his face.
Tarik laughed. “What, you ain't got nothing to say now?” he asked, sitting forward and placing his cuffed hands on the table. “I thought you had all the answers, man.”
Adam's mind fumbled for a response but he was still reeling.
“You gotta admit you got a pretty sweet deal though,” Tarik continued, his eyes narrowing. “Get all you can out of your crew, but when the hustle gets too hot, and the cops get too close, just bounce. Run off to the other side of the country until things cool down. The church scene is a nice touch too. I bet that's why they let you out so quick in B-more. I mean, you got Jesus now, so you must be really different.” Tarik laughed again, shaking his head.
“Is that how you think it is?” Adam asked.
“Hell yeah,” Tarik said. “You might fool them other little niggas, but I know what's up. And if you weren't stupid enough to turn yourself in, none of us would ever know anyway.”
Adam felt his jaw tense. He wanted to reach across the table and shake Tarik until he got some sense in him. Tarik thought this was a game, but it wasn't. He had no idea how sorry Adam was for everything that he had done in his past.
“I turned myself in because I regretted what happened and because I was tired of running from my past,” Adam said through his teeth.
“Nah, man,” Tarik said with a shake of his head. “You turned yourself in 'cause them niggas downtown found out about you. And don't even try to say it ain't about that. 'Cause you had what, ten years to feel sorry 'bout what you did, but you never felt like talking to five-oh back then.”
Adam looked down at the table. He couldn't deny the truth there. He had had many opportunities to do the right thing, many times when God had spoken to his heart. But he had delayed, until he couldn't delay any longer.
“You're right. I should have come clean before. But I didn't. And I regret that too. I know you probably don't believe me but it's the truth,” Adam said.
“But just so you know, Tarik, it was never easy for me. And if you had disappeared like you wanted to, it wouldn't have been easy for you either. It would be day after day of trying to stay under the radar, wondering if when people looked at you too closely they were remembering you from your old life. It would be worrying every time you applied for a job that your boss would run a check on you and find out your history. It would be that tightness in your chest every time you saw red and blue lights in your rearview mirror. Even when you weren't doing anything wrong, you would always wonder if they were coming for you.
“That's not living life. That's not being free.”
Tarik smirked. “You did it for ten years. It can't be that bad.”
“Two minutes,” the guard at the door said.
“I'm sorry, Tarik,” Adam said, his brow furrowed.
“For what?”
“For failing you.”
The remorse Adam had seen before flashed across Tarik's face again, lingering only a moment longer this time than before.
“Whatever,” Tarik said, when the indifference had returned. “It was good knowing you, Bayne. Guard?”
Adam watched as the guard by the door moved to Tarik's side. Without a look back, Tarik walked out of the room and out of Adam's life. But Adam knew the young man's words would stay with him for much longer. Just like the feelings of failure that they had brought with them.
Chapter 32
“H
ey, man. How's it going?”
ey, man. How's it going?”
Adam turned away from his computer screen to the window so he could give Chauncey's phone call his full attention. It's not like he had been getting much work done anyway.
“It's been better,” Adam answered with a heavy sigh.
“That bad, huh?”
“It feels that way,” Adam said. “We just lost another one to the system.”
Adam gave his friend the Cliffs Notes version of the Tarik story. Even though it had been over a week, his disappointment in the young man and in himself still felt fresh. The other boys had seemed to sense his foul mood and were giving him more space than usual. He felt bad for neglecting them, but he just needed a minute to recover. Before Tarik it had been almost eight months since they had lost a young man from the program. He had almost forgotten what that kind of failure felt like.
“Man, I keep going over the last year and a half and wondering what we could have done differently.” Adam leaned back in his chair and rubbed his eyes.
“Don't beat yourself up, Adam,” Chauncey said. “There's only so much you all can do, and if I know you like I think I do, you probably did all of it and a little more. At the end of the day those young men have to make up their own minds. I know nobody could have told us anything when we were actin' a fool and playing like we were grown.”
Adam nodded. “I know that's right.”
“And like you said, Tarik's been the only one this year so far. That's something to give God thanks for. In fact, I've been checking around and the success rate for Jacob's House is unprecedented. The YMCA tried to start something like this in Detroit back in the nineties and they shut it down within three years. They weren't the first either. A bunch of other groups have tried similar setups all over but most of them go under within a couple years.”
“Yeah, Pastor R. clued me in on the YMCA and a few other programs when I just got here,” Adam commented. “He said when he became pastor at Immanuel one of his top priorities was to make sure that the center stayed open and stayed successful.”
“Well, he should be proud of himself,” Chauncey said. “I don't know what it is, but somehow you guys have stumbled onto the winning formula.”
Adam sensed his friend's pause.
“Which leads me to the reason for my call.”
Adam chuckled. “And here I was thinking you just wanted to check in on a brother.”
“Yeah, that too,” Chauncey said. “But I'm hoping that some time in the near future I'll be able to do these check-ins face to face, like in the office we're preparing for you at House of Judah.”
Adam had known that sooner or later he would have to give his friend a definite answer. The weeks since he had left Baltimore had flown by, but throughout House of Judah had stayed a constant in the back of his mind. If he didn't know better he would have thought Chauncey had been reading his mind. He sure had picked an opportune time to call.
“I'm still thinking about it,” Adam said. “It's not going to be easy to pick up and leave this place.”
“I know,” Chauncey said. “You put a lot of your heart into those boys. But if those couple weeks you were away proved anything, it was that they can manage without you.”
“Is this your way of making me feel special, Chaunce?” Adam asked, only half jokingly.
“No,” his friend answered. “This is my way of telling you that they could use you there, but we really need you here. You've got the background and experience to run this program in its pilot phase. And being native to Baltimore, like most of the young men in the program will be, will definitely give you an advantage connecting with them.”
Chauncey was saying all the right words at the right time. Running a pilot project would be challenging. But at the moment it seemed easier to Adam than staying at Jacob's House, especially now that he'd let the boys down so badly.
“Give it to me straight, Adam,” Chauncey pressed. “What's holding you back?”
“I don't know, man.” Adam closed his eyes for a moment. “Atlanta's all I've known for the past three plus years. I haven't even lived in Baltimore in almost ten. I'm sure the scene has changed since then.”
But Chauncey wasn't buying Adam's diversion. “Adam, you're holding out on me. It might have been a while but I still know you well enough to know that. Give me the truth. What's making you hesitate?”
Adam looked up as the door to his office eased open and dark inquisitive eyes peeped in at him. “Busy?” She silently mouthed the word, immediately drawing his attention to her pink-hued lips.
“I just need more time, Chaunce.” Adam's eyes never left Toni. “Let me give you a shout at the end of the week.”
“All right, brother,” Chauncey said. “Talk to you then.”
Adam hung up the phone and watched as Toni let herself into his office completely.
“So the boys tell me you've been channeling the Grinch this past week.” Her arms were folded and her face set in the almost-annoyed expression she seemed to reserve only for him. She was wearing another of those shirtdress things with leggings. He wondered if she knew the kinds of problems he had when she did that.
“The boys or just Jerome?” he asked.
“No, Rasheed mentioned it too, on Saturday at church,” Toni said. “Hence the reason I had to sacrifice my lunch break to come down here.”
“So what's your plan?” Adam asked. “You're gonna beat me back into a good mood with today's copy of the
AJC
?”
AJC
?”
Toni wrinkled her nose. “Is that the best you've got? Wow, you are in a funk.”
Adam rolled his eyes.
“I had a feeling this was going to require a big sacrifice on my part,” she said with a shake of her head. “But I'm willing to do it, for the sake of the boys.... I'm going to let you ride my baby.”
Adam's eyes widened and his mouth fell open. Even when she held out the keys to clarify what she meant, his shock only moderately decreased.
“What?”
“You heard me,” she said, jingling the keys to the motorcycle in front of him. “I've seen you checking her out. I know you want to.”
He closed his mouth and hoped he hadn't drooled all over his desk. “But Trey says you never let anyone ride it. You barely let him get on it.”
“Yes,” Toni said, a hand on her hip. “Consider yourself lucky. So are you coming or what?”
She didn't have to ask him twice. He grabbed the keys from her outstretched fingers and was up and around the desk before her hand even fell to her side. He could hear her laughter behind him as he strode quickly through the house to the parking lot.
However, when his eyes landed on the gleaming red and silver high power sporting machine, he couldn't help but pause. It was almost as beautiful as its owner.
“You do know how to ride one of these things, right?” Toni asked, coming up behind him.
Adam grinned as he got on the motorcycle and slipped the key into the ignition. “Get on.” He watched her eyes turn into saucers.
“But I only have one helmet,” she almost stammered.
“We won't go far.”
Without further protest, she got on behind him, resting her hands on his waist. Her grip tightened once he started the motorcycle and pulled out onto the road.
He had almost forgotten what it was like being on two wheels on the road with the wind directly against him and the world right up close. Even with the dangerous distraction of Toni's body so close to his, he could still appreciate the feeling of freedom that came from the experience. He was almost sad to have it end minutes later when he pulled back into the Jacob's House parking lot after going around a couple blocks.
He set down the kickstand but let the engine idle. He knew Toni had to get back to work, but he appreciated her letting him take her baby out. It really did make him feel better, if only for a moment.
“I'm kinda mad,” she said with a pout, after getting off and removing her helmet. “You've only known her for a minute and she already seems to like you better. Where did you learn to ride like that?”
“Back home,” he said with an easy smile, still straddling the bike. “And then in the army.”
She smiled. “Was it as good as you remembered?”
“Better.” He shook his head as his eyes roamed her face. “How did you know I would enjoy this?”
She shrugged. “Just a feeling I had.”
“Thanks,” he said quietly, hoping she saw the sincerity in his eyes.
“You're welcome,” she said with a wink. “But get a scratch on her and I'll kill you.”
He raised an eyebrow as she handed him the helmet.
“She's yours for the afternoon.”
His mouth fell open again. “You're going to leave me alone with her?”
“Yeah,” Toni said. “I think you need her right now. Don't worry. I'll get a cab back to work.”
In that moment all Adam wanted to do was pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless. But instead he dug into his pocket and pulled out his keys. “Take my car,” he said. “And don't worry if you scratch it. I probably won't notice anyway.”
She grinned and accepted his offer. “Duly noted.”
“Thanks again.” He stood up to put on the helmet and put back the kickstand. “I think Baby and I are gonna take the afternoon off.”
“Well, get on with it then,” Toni said mischievously, giving him a quick slap on the butt. “And while you're out there try to relax and have a good time.”
Adam grinned as he gunned the engine. That he could definitely do.
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