One to Keep (One to Hold) (19 page)

His dirty hand passed over his lined face, and then he threw an elbow at me, twisting as he tried to escape my grip.

“Let me go, motherfucker,” he yelled, no longer the sniveling idiot he was half a second ago.

I held on and shook him harder. “Why did Stacy send Toni Durango to me?” He flailed again, and it was all I could do to keep from kicking his sorry ass. “Stop struggling and tell me.”

He tried one more time, and my grip tightened on his neck. Whining, he dropped to his knees. “You’re hurting me, man.”

“What was the lesson?”

“Stacy said you didn’t give her a chance.” He was spilling his guts fast. “She said she wanted a hot chick to teach you a lesson. That’s all I know.”

I let him go with a shove. “That doesn’t make any fucking sense!” I yelled. Ron lay on the floor now, and my leg was itching to kick him. But I held back. “A lesson for what? She cheated on me.”

He crawled over to the couch and pulled himself into a sitting position. Then he reached for a soft pack of cigarettes and pulled one out. I watched as he lit up, inhaling deeply and then blowing out a long stream of smoke.

“That’s just it,” he said. “She wants to get you back.”

Rubbing my eyes, I turned to the door. “For what?”

“No, man, she
wants
you back. She wants you to be together again.”

Not so long ago, those words would’ve affected me. Even after Kenny, and our supposed “rebound sex,” I would’ve cared that Stacy wanted me back. Now everything was different.

“That logic is about as fucked up as you are,” I said, pulling the cheap door open and inhaling the fresher outside air.

“You should call her,” Ron yelled after me, but I slammed that door shut.

It was late, and I wanted nothing more than to drive to Wilmington and spend the night holding Elaine in my arms. But I was mad, and I smelled like old cigarettes. And I had to get to the bottom of this bullshit first. So instead of going back to heaven, I drove to the nearest Hyatt and got a room.

Chapter 17 – Changing Everything

Stacy’s voice sounded the same as it always had—light and breezy, like a Saturday afternoon by the lake. I could still remember how that sound used to make me feel back when I thought she was worth having. I lay on the king-sized bed staring at the ceiling as I listened. It was ten o’clock, and I had the room until noon. I wanted to finish this now, shower, and then get on the road to Wilmington. It was only a two-hour drive to Elaine, and she’d be almost finished with her teaching day when I got there.

“I’ve thought about you a lot,” Stacy said, but her disembodied voice on the line wasn’t enough for me.

The entire Star episode and fallout, that it happened at my office, that she orchestrated the entire thing was too sharp in my memory. For a half-second, I wished I was back in Chicago having this conversation.

“Hang on,” I said, sitting up. “I’m calling you back on video.”

I ended the call and pulled out my tablet. I wanted to see her face when I heard her answer. Seconds later she appeared on the screen. Her blonde hair still ended at the tops of her shoulders in a little flip, and today she wore a pink sweater. Her brown eyes were open and hopeful, and I thought of how she’d looked the first time I saw her almost three years ago at the University of Chicago. I was fresh out of the military, starting a new chapter in my life, and she’d seemed perfect, a shiny pre-med student. I’d asked her out, and we’d spent two sweet years together, leading up to my proposal. Turns out sweet wasn’t enough for her. Now I knew it wasn’t enough for me, either.

“You look great,” she said in that voice. “So beachy and fit.”

“Thanks,” I said. “You look… the same.”

A little smile lifted the corner of her mouth. “What’s on your mind?”

I was not smiling. “I talked to Ron last night. He said you wanted to get back together.”

That made her brow crease. “You talked to Ron?” Her voice was not so Saturday at the lake now. “How is he?”

“He’s the same loser he ever was, but I wanted to know if what he said was true.”

Her forehead relaxed, and she gave me that smile again. “Well, I did tell him I’ve been thinking about you and us… How would you feel about that?”

“I might’ve felt something not so long ago,” I said. “Now I just want to know what the lesson was.”

“Lesson?” She blinked quickly. “What do you mean?”

“You’ll have to tell me. Ron and Toni only know you were trying to teach me a lesson, but I guess I need to be in the slow class. I don’t get it.”

“This is all too cryptic for me.” She fake-laughed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“About three weeks ago, a foxy blonde call girl gave me the works. Then she tried to make me think she was married and psycho. She tried to rattle me.” I said. “All of it was courtesy you.”

“Did Ron tell you that?”

“Yes, and I believe him.”

She shook her head. “Well, I don’t know why. I have no idea what he’s talking about. He probably wants drug money.”

“Toni corroborated it, and she has no reason to know about our history.”

“She’s probably one of Ron’s whores. They’ll do anything he says.” She sat back and looked away.

Irritation was stirring low in my gut, and my chest was growing tight with anger. I was sick of this.

“I would’ve agreed with you, but I saw them separately. Toni isn’t doing your brother any favors. So cut the crap and tell me what message you’re trying to send.”

Her head snapped to the screen, and though we were miles apart, it felt like we were in the same room at that moment. “You said I wasn’t worth the time of day.” She dared to sound injured. “You called me a whore.”

My jaw clenched, but I let her finish. I remembered how hurt and angry I’d been when I said those words.

“Now you know what it’s like to be tempted. It’s not so easy to say no when someone’s coming on strong. When you’re weak and not expecting it.”

She seemed to be done, but I waited a few moments longer to be sure. When she still didn’t speak, I nodded.

“So that’s why you think what you did to me is okay?” I said, completely calm.

Her eyes blinked down to her lap. “I didn’t say it was okay. I only said you should understand now.”

I pressed my lips together as if that required any thought. “I understand that we were engaged when you cheated on me. I understand that I trusted you when you started screwing 24B. I also understand that when Toni appeared in my office, I was single and broken and still trying to recover from your lies.”

She blinked up at those words. “But you don’t have to recover!”

“You’re damn right I don’t. I have to thank you.”

“Thank me?” The glimmer of hope on her face might’ve made this moment sweet if I still needed revenge. Somehow, I didn’t anymore. Somehow, what she’d done didn’t matter to me now. The fist in my chest had released, and I just wanted to say these last words and be done with her. For good.

“Thank you for removing any last feelings I might’ve had for you.” Pausing a moment to check, I nodded as I recognized my insides were completely still. “You’ve shown me how I’ve changed. I am finally able to say I don’t give a shit what you do. You’re completely out of my system.”

“But—”

“Have a nice life, Stacy.” I reached forward and tapped the screen, ending the call. Then I stood, feeling whole again. Any unfinished business was completely wrapped up. If it were a real thing, I’d put a bow around it and drop it in the trash can.

Instead, I walked to the bathroom and started the shower. I was ready to scrub this trip from my body and wash it down the drain. Then I’d spend the weekend with the woman I did care about. The woman I loved.

* * *

Holding Elaine in my arms made me feel like a lifetime had passed between what happened in Raleigh and now.

I’d arrived at her small, private school in time to see her in action before the day ended. Her principal had let me check in and go to her class, but Elaine didn’t know I was there.

I stood outside the door, watching through the small window as she taught her class of sixth graders about literature and vocabulary and fantasy and romance. I couldn’t help but smile as I watched her slowly go from desk to desk. She was so thoughtful working with them. Holding her long, blonde hair back, she leaned beside a boy’s desk and pointed to a passage in the book. She said something to him then waited, her pretty brow lined, a concerned expression in her eyes, until he responded.

Whatever he said, her entire face beamed with pride and she nodded. I couldn’t see the kid from where I stood, but I knew if that had been me at eleven, and I’d just made my hot teacher that proud, I would’ve been over the moon for the rest of the day. I couldn’t help but grin.

Just as the bell rang, her eyes rose and met mine through the glass, and a different smile crossed her face. My stomach tightened in response, and I had to remind myself we were at school. I wanted to go through that door, pull her to me, and cover that pretty mouth with mine. Instead, I waited at the door, and once the kids were gone, she lunged forward, throwing her arms around my neck.

“What are you doing here?” she cried. “I thought I wasn’t seeing you this weekend!”

I leaned down and kissed her softly. “I had some business to take care of in Raleigh, so I figured I’d stop by on my way back to Princeton.”

Her sweet laugh filled the now-empty classroom. “This isn’t on the way back.”

My lips followed the line of her jaw to the side of her face, brushing her ear. “You think I’d be that close and not come to you?”

She shivered and turned her head to meet my mouth. Our tongues curled together, and I couldn’t help the physical response her kiss evoked. She giggled, pressing her nose to my cheek. “We’d better head to my place before we get detention.”

“Indecent exposure?” I said against her skin. For a moment, I pictured lifting her onto her desk, sliding her red skirt up and taking care of business.

“At the very least,” she said, stepping away and picking up a case.

I waited as she slid three stacks of papers into it, followed by a computer tablet and a few books. She pushed a lock of light blonde hair behind her ear as she studied her phone.

“Something wrong?” I said, watching her progress.

“Melissa said she couldn’t make the meeting at school today.”

“Oh,” I looked down with a sheepish grin. “That could be my fault. I bumped into her in the parking lot.”

She blinked up to me. “What happened?”

I shrugged, catching her waist and pulling her to me again. Her hands went to my shoulders. “I might’ve suggested she consider giving Derek another chance.” Elaine’s eyes closed and she shook her head slowly.

“I know,” I continued before she could speak. “But he still loves her. And I hate seeing the big guy hurting like that.”

With a sigh, she rose up to kiss my cheek then stepped back to pull her case onto her shoulder. “I’ve tried telling her the same thing, but she’ll have to come around on her own. She won’t change just because we tell her to.”

I nodded, following her out. “She’s tough,” I said. “Derek’s met his match in the stubborn department.”

She waved goodbye to a staff member and her principal made a joke about me remembering to call her as we went through the door.

“Were you flirting with Ms. Alvarez?” Elaine’s eyes narrowed when we reached the car.

I leaned in for another quick kiss. “Only because I wasn’t sure if she’d let me back to see you.”

“I can’t let you out of my sight.”

“Yes, you can.”

Now we were in her bed, bodies entwined, relaxed from an intense round of catch-up sex that had started on the kitchen counter and ended in the bedroom. I couldn’t help but smile as I took in her flushed cheeks, her sparkling green eyes, shiny blonde hair spilling over the pillow beside me. I still couldn’t believe this amazing creature came out of nowhere to be so right for me. How she’d barged into my life, snatched my heart, and changed everything.

“What are you thinking?” Her voice was soft as she leaned up to kiss my lips.

“How much I love you,” I said, kissing her back.

She smiled and breathed a little laugh. “You are very charming, Mr. Knight.”

“You are very sexy, Ms. Merritt.” I leaned down to kiss her neck and noticed her breasts needed attention. Naturally, I slid down to kiss them as well.

“Mmm…” Her fingers slid through the sides of my hair, and I turned my face to rest my cheek against her heart, listening to it beating in her chest. Different, better, real.

* * *

Our weekends felt shorter every time we were together. On Sunday after breakfast, we went down to the shore before I had to leave again, and I could tell by her quiet mood, the distance was on her mind.

“What are you thinking?” I said, stopping our walk and pulling her into my arms.

She didn’t answer at first. She placed her chin on my shoulder and looked out at the waves, the soft breeze blowing her hair back. I kissed her temple and whispered in her ear, “Tell me.”