One to Hold (6 page)

“Yes,” Derek’s voice was full of authority. “A bottle of cava, two glasses, and two of your olive-salad sandwiches.”

The young woman nodded, and hastened away.

“In south Louisiana, those are called muffulettas,” I said, resting my head back against his chest.

“You’ve been to New Orleans?”

“No,” I smiled, “but I read a lot.”

His hand traced circles on my upper arm, and I could feel my eyelids drooping. Sitting here with him, under the desert sky with the temperature dropping, watching the fire in the pit and waiting on olive-salad sandwiches, I could almost pretend we were a couple. That I was a normal person on a holiday with my boyfriend, without a care in the world.

But I wasn’t.

I stirred and started to move away, but his arm tightened over me. “What’s wrong?”

“I really should head back to my room. It’s late.”

He released his hold on me, which was good because he was a thousand times stronger than I was. I couldn’t have fought him if I tried, and for a moment, I considered that might be the reason I’d always avoided such muscular men. Not because they weren’t attractive, because he was damn sexy.

“Just stay and have your dinner first,” he said.

As if on cue, the young waitress appeared with a tray holding a dark green bottle, two clear silicone wine glasses, and two large sandwiches. She placed the entire load on the small table in front of us and handed it out.

“Shall I charge this to your room?” she asked.

“Two thirteen,” he said.

I didn’t want to remember the number, but it seemed the harder I tried to forget it, the more firmly it was imprinted on my brain.

“I thought hotels always skipped thirteen,” I said. “Bad luck.”

“I don’t believe in luck.”

A popping sound announced the opening of the cava, which the waitress poured into the glasses for each of us. I took mine and waited until she’d put the bottle in a small stoneware bucket and gone.

“Are we still celebrating?” I asked.

His dark eyes met mine, and for a moment we didn’t speak, he only studied my face. I was starting to grow self-conscious when he broke the silence.

“Every day’s a celebration, right? We’re alive?”

I smiled and nodded, tapping my glass against his. He put his down on the table and picked up his huge sandwich.

“We could’ve split one,” I said evaluating the size of mine. “Half would be plenty for me.”

He smiled. “But not for me.”

I gingerly took a bite and set the savory concoction back on the plate. The sharp cheese flavor filled my mouth, and I thought it was the perfect blend of tangy and salty.

“So you were a Marine?” I asked, watching him chew.

He nodded, swallowing. “Did my tour in Iraq during the first Gulf War.”

“You must’ve been just a boy!”

“Eighteen,” he said, lifting the glass and taking a sip of cava.

“And the special forces?”

“Did that for a while after, before I retired and went to the police academy.”

I nodded. “How long were you a police officer?”

“I wasn’t,” he said with a smile.

“But…”

“I bypassed that and got my private investigator’s license. In college I studied finance, and with the Internet taking off, I wanted to hunt down cyber-criminals. I worked in Law Enforcement Online a bit.”

“What’s that?” I studied his dark hair in the moonlight, imagining him in uniform, in the desert, fighting terrorists. It was an extremely attractive image.

“LEO is a branch of the FBI.”

“So you’re a special agent?”

He laughed. “No. I just worked there a little while.”

“What do they do?”

“It’s pretty complicated, and much of it’s classified. How about we just leave it as is?”

“But you don’t do it anymore?” I pressed. Then I wondered why I even cared so much. I didn’t need to know all of this about him. We were just in this for a week. He could put himself in as much danger as he chose. I’d never see him again.

The thought made my stomach clench painfully.

He shook his head. “Now I’m freelance. I work with banks to hunt down cyber criminals. People who would steal customers’ money or attempt to make fraudulent transactions. Hack into online bank accounts, pfishers. Things like that.”

I pressed my lips together and nodded. “Still a hero.”

He shrugged. “I travel a lot. Do these conferences. I’m as much an educator as anything.”

“And do you have a girl at each stop?” I froze. I didn’t know where that question came from. “I’m sorry,” I said quickly. “It’s not really my business—”

“No.” He cut me off, staring straight into my eyes. “I don’t have a girl anywhere. Actually, I’ve never done anything like this before.”

Suddenly we were both very quiet. I looked at the half-eaten sandwich on my plate and realized I was finished. I didn’t want any more wine. I needed to get back to my room, to get my head straight. We were venturing into impossible territory now.

I stood quickly. “Thank you so much for dinner,” I said, dusting my hands together.

Derek stood just as fast, towering over me in the night. “Please don’t go,” he said. “It’s still early.”

I shook my head. “It’s late, and I’m tired. And… well… I think we both know it’s for the best.”

Just as I turned to leave, I felt his touch, light at my elbow. “See me tomorrow. Don’t stay away. It’s just for a few more days.”

His words, the tone in his voice, caused a sharp pain in the center of my body. It was as if a sword were thrust into the space below my ribs, above my stomach. I glanced back at his blue eyes, bright and open. It was impossible to believe I could have any power over him at all, but it seemed in this one request, I did.

I nodded. “What would you like to do?”

He smiled and lowered his hand. “What’s your last name?”

I shook my head. “My room is 323 in the spa tower. Call me that way.”

The crease in his brow told me he didn’t understand, but if he truly had access to all of our background information like Patrick had teased, I didn’t want him knowing what my year had been like. I didn’t want anyone knowing. Having not gone officially on record, I wasn’t sure if he could find anything out, but I couldn’t be too careful.

“Goodnight,” I said leaning forward to kiss his cheek, cutting off any further discussion. Just as I was about to pull back, he caught the back of my neck and pulled my mouth to his for a better kiss.

I didn’t resist, allowing his soft lips to part mine. I placed my palms on his strong shoulders, bracing myself as our tongues entwined. His kiss turned hungry, and my mouth matched his pace. I wanted him to lift me again. I craved the connection of our bodies as much as he did. Heat flared between my legs, but I resisted, stepping back, inhaling deeply, eyes still closed.

“Goodnight,” I said, this time in a shaky whisper.

My eyes blinked open and only briefly caught his before I turned and walked away, not giving him a chance to respond.

Chapter 5 – Little Boxes

Our room was dim and empty when I arrived. The turn-down service had left organic dark chocolates on our pillows and soft track lighting ran around the walls behind the headboards. Beach sounds were coming from the little music station between the two beds, and the air smelled faintly of the signature cactus flower perfume. Everything was designed to cultivate a relaxed, spa vibe. I actually liked it.

Elaine was still with Patrick, I supposed. I went to the bathroom and flicked on the soft yellow lights, and for a moment, I was stunned by my reflection. My cheeks did seem rosier, and although the faint lines were still visible at the corners of my eyes, even my eyes were different. The smallest hint of that old brightness was fighting to return. Was it all the spa pampering? The easy, schedule-less days of sleeping in and then relaxing by the pool, allowing the nonstop tension to drain from my body?

Or was it him?

I shook my head and tied my long dark curls back so I could wash my face. Once I was finished and had smoothed a thin line of moisturizer under my eyes and across my lips, I turned and walked back to the large, queen-sized bed where I slept. My phone lay discarded at the foot. I hadn’t even thought about taking it with me. I didn’t want to check emails or texts. I was in a bubble, and everyone had been informed I would be unavailable for the week. I had auto-respond messages set up everywhere.

But still he called.

Sloan’s picture and number sat there staring at me like the cat that always came back. Tonight I didn’t listen to his message. I didn’t want to hear his lectures. I tossed the phone on the small sofa in our room and slipped between the cool, crisp sheets. I considered deleting his contact information, getting a new phone, a new number. But no. I needed to know where he was. At least for now.

Pushing aside those dark thoughts, I inhaled Derek’s warm, woodsy scent again in my hair. A little smile teased at the corner of my lips when I thought of how wild our encounters were. I slid my dark locks across my face, closing my eyes and imagining his strong arms around my waist, remembering him pushing me against the wall. The feel of that huge man trembling in my arms when he came. The sound of his groans.

Lying in the dark alone, I did the one thing that would drive my mother crazy. I compartmentalized it all. With my eyes closed, I imagined taking Sloan and putting him alone in his own, cold plastic box. I slammed the lid and shoved it on a back shelf in my mind. Then I gathered all the events of the last year as if scooping up scattered blocks and dumped them in another box, which I shoved under Sloan’s.

Stretching out in my bed, I took a new box. I imagined lining it with satin and flower petals. I took little pillows and made a soft bed. That’s where I put Derek and his memories. I pictured myself small, climbing into the box with him. He was lying back on the cushions in his grey slacks. The button-down he wore was open, and I could see every line on his sculpted torso. That little smile was on his lips as he watched me approach. I ran my fingers along the lines of his stomach, gazing into his eyes that darkened as I touched him.

His kiss, the same one he gave me beside the fire pit, was gentle but hungry. Our pace grew faster as we kissed each other again and again, tongues entwining, heat growing between my legs, until he pulled me under him. My breathing was fast, my whole body tense with anticipation, so wet, so ready for his awesome fullness. I felt his tip pressing into me, filling me, as a thought drifted through my mind.
We’d never done it in a bed…

Scuffing sounds and the loud noise of someone trying to be quiet woke me. I looked at the clock. It wasn’t even eight yet. Elaine was hurrying around the room, filling a bag with her bathing suit, a towel,

“What are you doing?” I asked, my voice thick with sleep.

“Oh,” she exclaimed. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to wake you.”

I sat up slowly, rubbing my eyes. Looking around, I almost expected to see Derek in bed with me. I’d drifted to sleep in our box, wrapped in his huge, protective arms.

“Did you spend the night with Patrick?” I asked.

A giggle was followed quickly by a throat clearing. “Yes,” she said, unable to hide her beaming face. “Oh my god.”

My lips pressed into a smile. “Good?”

“Holy fuck,” she flopped across the foot of my bed. “I think I came five times last night.”

I grinned, smoothing her now-messy blonde hair. “Is it possible to meet your soul mate in one day?” she asked, looking up at me.

“No idea,” I said, not wanting to think about questions like that. It made my stomach hurt. “I’m not sure I believe in soul mates. But you like him? Sounds like poor Brian is definitely toast.”

“Don’t even say the B-word. Patrick is the hottest thing. And that body.” She did a little shiver. “First we just talked all hours. Oh! You never came back. Did Derek find you? He said not to worry, and I figured since he’s practically a cop and an ex-Marine…”

I bit my lip, still not sure how much I wanted to tell her about Derek’s and my… relationship? Agreement? I didn’t have a clue what to call it. I’d never had a fuck buddy before. Were we even buddies? We never saw each other outside of patios, bars, and family restrooms.

“We… bumped into each other,” I said. Then I suppressed a grin at how that “bump” went. And how hot and noisy it was.

“Did you get any dinner?”

“I did, but tell me about you and Patrick.”

“Mmm,” she smiled again. “Okay, like I said, first we talked all hours, really got to know each other. Then we went down to the pool. It was completely dark, so we sneaked in—”

“You went skinny dipping?”

She giggled. “Have you ever had sex in a pool? It is
amazing
. Everything’s all wet, and the water was the exact right temperature.”

“I hope you used protection.” I mentally wondered at how many public decency laws these former cops of ours broke.