One of the Guys (23 page)

Chapter 34

Sam

Just when I seem to think everything is moving in the direction I would like it to, things turn for the absolute worst. Not the worst exactly but it’s not good.
I squeeze the giant pink teddy bear to my chest and then squeeze it a little harder when I see Marsh here in his uniform. My heart jumps for a split second at the thought of him in that uniform. His brown eyes are sparkling like little chocolate morsels and I quickly shake the thought away. Obviously working. In that moment I’m so glad that Adryian isn’t here to gloat in my face. I’ve had enough of that. Right now all I can feel is absolute hate for him. He arrested me. He placed cold silver handcuffs around my tiny wrists and placed me in the back of a cop car. I just can’t let that go. I hated Cole and Trey for getting on the Ring of Fire. I was vulnerable and Marsh picked up on that as he approached me.

“Hey Sam, good to see you.” That voice, damn it still gets me.
But I can’t let it
.

“Hi.” I squeak out just wishing he would disappear. This is possibly the most awkward moment. I’m sure of it.

“I’m glad to see you’re ok.” He paused briefly searching for what he wanted to say. His hand touched mine and as I felt the shock it sent through my body, I jerked away almost immediately. “I’m so sorry about that night Sam. You have no idea how horrible that was for me. I worried about you so much. I couldn’t even tell Adryian about it.” Cue the cringe and complete look of disgust on my face. “She asked how my day was and I couldn’t tell her. I’m sorry I brought her up.”

Sincerity. I hear it in his voice and for a moment I let the anger subside. “It’s ok Marsh. Really. You were just doing your job.”

“I do miss you Sam. I know you asked if I love her and I do. I know you don’t want to hear that but I’m going to be honest with you. That doesn’t mean I can’t miss you, we’ve had too many good times together. You, uh, you still fighting?”

The screams of people on the rides filled my ears and cotton candy traveled up my nose as I watched him intently. “I am. I really like it.”

“Wow.” He chuckles. “I can’t say I would have ever pictured you doing something like that but I’m glad to see you’re happy. That’s all I wanted Sam, was to make you happy.”

Why is he telling me this? He can’t see but it’s tearing me in two and it sucks. In my gut it feels like there is so much I want to tell him. So many words left unsaid but I can’t. I love Cole, Marsh loves Adryian…its how it has to be.

“I’ll leave you alone Sam. I just wanted to say hi. If you ever want to talk, you know you can call me. We’re still friends.” Friends. How can I look at Marsh and just want to be friends with him? That would be complete torture, not to mention completely inappropriate.

A simple smile and wave later, he’s gone maneuvering through the crowd making sure the fair is safe for all these kids who seem to be running around without parents. Cole and Trey come walking off the Ring of Fire and I can’t help but tell them I would have puked all over the place if I had rode that. After bickering with Trey for a few minutes, he walked off to go do what he does best. Cole and I stood there in the warm evening air. The expression on his face was unreadable, he hadn’t even laughed at Trey and that was almost impossible.

“You ready to get out of here babe?” I tugged at his arm but he didn’t budge. His eyes met mine, his blue a little more worn than normal.

“Why was he talking to you Sam? I saw him. He waited until I wasn’t here and he walked right up to you.”

Marsh. Dammit. Nothing I do is right. “He just wanted to say hi. Nothing more I swear.”

“I’m just saying it didn’t look like nothing.” My ears can’t believe what they are hearing right now. I didn’t do anything wrong. He tried to touch my hand and I pulled mine away. He’s jealous and of what, I’m not quite sure. It was nothing more than a friendly conversation.

“Why are you picking a fight with me Cole?”

A thousand pins could have dropped on this noisy fairground and you could have heard every single one of them. He’s frustrated I can tell, his face is turning red like it does when he’s in the ring. The face he gets before he annihilates his opponent. Everything is screaming that I am the opponent right now.

“I’m not picking a fight Sam.” He raised his voice. He raised his voice at me. He’s never done that before. I’m staring at him wondering what the hell is wrong with him. Marsh didn’t hug me, he didn’t barely touch me. This was stupid, plain and simple. My head stayed down as people passed us whispering. They could hear, I know they could and I was highly embarrassed.

“Calm down Cole. I told you it was nothing.”

“You want him back don’t you? I may have been several feet up in the air but I could see it. I’m not stupid Sam.” His finger points at me and part of me wants nothing more than to slap it away but I just stare at him incredulously trying to decipher this screwed up, very public situation.

“Where are you getting this from? I don’t want him back. I love you. Where is this jealousy coming from?”

“Look I’m sorry. Let’s go home ok?” Just like that he dropped it. Never in my life have I seen Cole behave this way but it wasn’t every day we ran into Marsh. I set the teddy bear in the backseat of the truck before climbing in and securing my seatbelt. I reached over turning the volume on low, anything to hear some sort of noise to kill this silence. I can’t help but admit I am furious over his display of jealousy at the fair. Even more furious that he raised his voice at me, and yes I’m furious but at the same time it scares me. When we arrive home, I blindly toss the teddy bear onto the couch and walk straight into the bathroom. The shower is on to drown out any silence and to keep him from talking to me. My mind races trying to understand where he was coming from. He actually raised his voice at me and that hurt more than I would ever let him know. If he could raise his voice, what else could he do? I’ve gotten out of one angry, damaged home. I refuse to step back into another. For the first time since I agreed to date him I stupidly realize that I don’t know him at all. He’s yet another stranger in my life. One that I’ve made the mistake of falling in love with. Would he hurt me? I’d hope to hell not but right now, I just don’t know and my past is sending off flare after flare telling me to keep my distance.

There’s a faint knock at the door followed by his pleading voice. “Sam, baby I’m sorry please talk to me. I don’t know why I got so jealous. I just love you so much. I can’t lose you.”

Silence. I refuse to talk. He pleads for another few minutes before the silence is back. I need to breathe. I need to get out this house alone. I text Trey asking if he’s left the fair and he agrees to pick me up for at drinks at Joe’s.

The bathroom door opens and I step out making my way to the bedroom to change. He’s watching me intently waiting for me to crack but I still don’t speak. As I adjust my spaghetti strap blouse and dab on some lip gloss, I turn to face Cole. “I need some time to myself. I’ll be back later. Don’t wait up for me.”

“Wait, where are you going?”

His hand is on mine, his eyes still pleading. I stand my ground in my black flats as I firmly tell him it’s none of his business. He doesn’t care for that answer but as I kiss him goodbye, he doesn’t argue. I tell him I’ll see him later then I’m gone. As I step outside, even though the air is full of humidity, I feel like I can breathe again. Within a few seconds, Trey is in front of the apartment and I jump in telling him to drive away before Cole can notice.

“So Sam, you going to tell me what all this is about?” Trey turned the radio down on purpose. Asshole. I didn’t want to talk, I just wanted to go sit at Joe’s, find something new to drink and forget all this mess.

“He completely lost his marbles because my ex came and said hi at the fair. It meant nothing. He raised his voice at me in front of people; I’ve never been more embarrassed or hurt in my life.”

Trey stares ahead at the road nodding as I talk. His phone buzzes and he looks at it before hitting ignore. I stare at him intently until he breaks. “It’s Cole.” A minute later a text comes through on his phone and he shows it to me.

Cole: Sam left to go out. If you head out will you keep an eye on her? I fucked up.

I roll my eyes at the same time Trey stares at me like he’s never been part of a scheme before. “What?”

“He doesn’t know I picked you up does he? Great, now he’s going to kick my ass.”

“I needed to get out.” I interrupted. “You didn’t see the look on his face at the fair. It’s the same look he gets in the ring. I’m scared ok. Is that what you want to hear? What if he put his hands on me? I need my space.”

“Sam, he wouldn’t dare put his hands on you. He loves you. He won’t shut the hell up about you. I like you and all but damn the boy doesn’t stop. In a little, you need to let him know I’ve got you so he doesn’t worry.”

Letting out a sigh, I stare out the window until Trey taps my arm handing me a bottle of beer. Immediately, my nose scrunched up. Obviously he doesn’t know I don’t like the taste of beer. He reaches down and pulls out a water bottle.

“Water Trey? No thanks I’ll wait til we get there.”

“Water? Please. What kind of man do you think I am? It’s vodka.” My eyes practically bugged out of my head as I opened the bottle and tried to smell it. Eventually I put the plastic bottle to my lips and threw a quick sip back. The liquid burned sliding down my throat and continued to burn for another few seconds before I could open my eyes. Once he parked, I had taken a few sips out of the bottle and stepping out of the vehicle was quite the task. Groups of people walked past heading towards the doors. Trey stood beside me for a minute and then nudged my elbow. Shit, I needed to text Cole now. That was why he handed me vodka, to loosen me up and make this not so hard.

The phone is sitting in my hand opened to his name but I can’t find the strength to begin typing. “Get to typing missy or I’ll do it for you. You don’t want that.” Oh dear lord he was right. No telling what he would type to Cole.

You can do this Sam. It’s just a damn text message. Suck it up and just type something
. The sooner I send this text, the sooner I can go inside so without thinking too hard on it I just type.

Sam: I’m with Trey. Don’t worry.

Short and sweet. I don’t even wait for his answer when I slide the phone back into my pocket. Flashing Trey a smile to let him know it’s done, he motions for me to walk towards Joe’s and once I’m inside I’m standing in front of the bar waiting. Trey has some red head practically sucking his ears clean and I want to barf as I sip my long island iced tea. The bartender suggested it and it seemed like a good idea until I drank it too fast and had to catch myself. Laughing uncontrollably, I decided to order a second one.

“Sam, we getting fucked up tonight!” Trey high-fived me before slamming back his shot glass. That sounded fine to me. My mind was a little too heavy and needed to be cleared.

A few drinks later we were both pretty toasted. His eyes took on a sad tone as he began talking, “I didn’t use to come out a lot you know. I was a mellow guy. My mom has cancer and she’s dying. How fucked up is that? She’s dying and I’m out getting fucked up.”

“Trey, I’m so sorry.” I had no idea. This was the first I’ve ever heard of this. I can’t imagine what he must be feeling.

“I fight to help pay her medical bills. No one but Rocky and Cole knows this but we’re good friends so I know I can trust you. I even met a girl….” He stopped mid-sentence when a song came on catching his attention. I was so lit I didn’t pry like I should have because I could swear he just said he met a girl. And ever since I’ve known Trey, I know he doesn’t meet girls. Not in the normal sense anyway.

We danced like there was no tomorrow. It should have felt a little awkward to be grinding my ass on Trey but I was so drunk I could have cared less. My dancing partner strayed when some girl began practically stripping on the dance floor. His eyes jumped out his head and he shot me an I’m sorry look as his now hungry eyes rested on her almost bared chest. I wiped the beads of sweat from my brow as I walked clumsily towards the bar. My heart raced as thoughts of Marsh in that uniform came creeping back up. Oh. My. God. What I would do to get him out of that uniform. He’s still working I think. My eyes roam the packed dance floor for Trey and when I see him, I make my move outside. Except I’m not sure it should be considered walking, more like tripping. I laugh at myself as I fumble for my phone and ignore a message from Cole. Two can play this game. Once again, his face flashes in my head and it’s the face that scares me so much but then I see the face that I love more than anything. Ugh this is so damn confusing. I push it away and dial the one number I know I shouldn’t even be thinking about right now.