One Of Our Dinosaurs Is Missing (22 page)

“It does? For a moment, it slips my accursed memory,” said Lui Ho.

“Yes, Comrade Leader,” Sam Ling chose his words carefully. “You suggested we should secrete ourselves until we were certain as to what the nanny-ladies were doing. Then, you wisely advised, we should wait until they left, and, in the darkest part of the night, we should remove the bones to a new hiding place. Later, you said, we would take the bones thirty miles out to sea in a fishing boat, in the early morning mist, and, avoiding the United States war-mongering patrol boats, radar and aircraft, rendezvous with our submarine.”

“Of course! I remember now,” said Lui Ho, to Sam Ling’s relief. “That’s the plan I intended you to carry out.” He paused. “But what did I suggest we should do if the nanny-ladies take any of the bones away with them?”

“Ah,” breathed Sam Ling, his mind working like a motorized abacus. “You said that, in such an eventuality, we were to follow and hijack the bones the moment they left them unattended. Wisely, you ordered that our glorious Bureau must never be suspected of involvement.”

“Of course,” smiled Lui Ho. “That is the brilliance I have learned to expect from myself. For, if we reveal ourselves to the nanny-ladies, the dung-fly Hooligan may learn of our interest. Up to now, his imbecilic investigations have been limited merely to the disappearance of the fake dragon. We must not draw his attention to the espionage implications.” His smile widened. “And now, dear comrades, to fill the dull moments of our waiting, I propose to read you a small and apposite portion of the Quotations of Chairman Mao.”

Billie Big Canoe was enjoying his ride in front of the museum truck. He grinned to himself at the thought of three well-dressed New Yorkers traveling in grubby discomfort and sitting on piles of old sacking behind him.

“Head for Columbus Circle,” Billie told the museum official. “Now down East 59th.” He issued the route a few blocks at a time. He wasn’t convinced he could trust his companions.

“Keep ahead. Over the bridge. Now take the elevator down to Welfare.”

“Of course,” breathed the official. “The old hospital buildings.”

“Okay,” said Billie when the lift had lowered them to the island. “Follow the river. Hey, wait a minute!”

A scruffy figure darted out from behind a bush and began to run. Billie yelled out of the window.

“Herman! Herman, you crumb!” The figure stopped, and turned. “Herman! You just come back here.” Billie swung himself down from the truck. “You crummy bastard. What you doing running away like that? I left you on guard.”

“I was on guard,” stuttered Herman. “Gee, Billie, I
was
on guard, but some crazy nurse came along and told me to get out of the hospital grounds. I waited around ’cus of the money. I thought you was more hospital people.”

“Nurse?” said Billie.

“Nurses. Lots of them. They’re still inside. They scared Euclid. Maybe we made a mistake. Maybe them’s hospital bones, after all, not dinowhatsit bones.”

“What’s going on?” called the museum official. “Nothin’,” said Billie. “Just that my buddy got frightened by some skirts. Your bones are safe. Come on, I’ll take you to them.”

“It’s where?” Jumbo Hooligan sat up in bed, yelped with pain as his ankle jarred, and glared at Adam. “Ulysses followed them on a motorcycle he borrowed?”

“A speedcop’s ’sickle,” said Adam.

“He’s loaned it to Ulysses?”

“Not exactly,” said Adam. “We’ll have to square it, later. Ulysses reports Lui Ho’s Reds are in on it. Six of them in a garbage truck.”

“The hell they are,” growled Hooligan. “I’ve been waiting for those bastards to step out of line. Now I’ve got them. Loosen off that cord.” He pointed toward the support holding his leg. “I gotta get out of this god-dammed bed. Can’t do a thing from here.”

“For Christ’s sake, Jumbo. You’ll spring your fracture again. I’ll handle the job. I can get the boys down there and sort it out.”

“Nope.” Jumbo Hooligan clamped his jaw. “This is my hunt. I want to be there at the kill. Get Sheba . . “He winced again. “Get her and say I want a chopper on the roof here in half an hour. And tell the doctor that I’ve got to get out. If he’s worried, tell him I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

“You’re crazy, Jumbo. But, okay, I’ll fix it.”

“And warn Two-O Precinct. Tell them that my team is heading for Welfare Island. I want the whole place sealed off. Stop all traffic crossing the bridge. Keep a path through for our cars. Break out the special equipment and fix up roadblocks. Don’t let anyone on, or off, the island.”

“Okay, boss.” Adam turned by the door. “Gee, you’re a wild bastard.”

“Nurse,” roared Hooligan, “N-U-R-S-E!”

A frightened young Sister trotted in.

“Get me a wheelchair. And I want to get on the roof.” He took a deep breath, “and pronto!”

They winched Jumbo Hooligan, in his shiny chrome wheelchair, into the helicopter. Half a dozen medical orderlies sweated and heaved. A posse of worried doctors and nurses watched.

“Hurry up, damn ya,” shouted Hooligan. The pilot pulled the chair backwards into the cabin. “You,” screamed Jumbo, pointing at the broadest of the orderlies. “You come along. I want a pusher.”

The orderly swallowed and climbed aboard. The rotors sputtered into life. The nurses’ skirts flapped as the helicopter lifted into the dusk. It climbed quickly and headed towards the East River. Hooligan bellowed loud instructions to the pilot, clamped on headphones and buckled a throat microphone into position. He looked down. The evening lights of the New York traffic seemed a long way below. The aircraft started to drop towards the Queensboro Bridge.

Hooligan was ahead of his team. The home-going New York traffic had slowed them, even though their sirens blasted a path. The precinct police were already there. Hooligan watched them flagging down cars. He spoke into his radio.

“Where are you, Adam?”

“Be at the bridge in a few seconds,” replied a static- crackling voice. “We can see the roadblock ahead.” Hooligan looked down the approach road to the bridge. He could see his team’s car lights flashing. He spoke again into his microphone.

“Okay, okay. Check with the lieutenant and make sure he’s got the island properly sealed.” As he looked down, he could see Adam’s car stopping alongside the police barrier. He watched his deputy open the door and run to the officer standing by the bridge rails. A moment later, Adam called him on the radio.

“Everything okay down here, Jumbo. The bridge and all approach roads are covered. The river police boats are deployed. The island’s watertight. How’s the leg?”

“Doing better than my stomach,” said Hooligan, as the helicopter dropped another few feet. “Right, start the men moving in slowly. Get all the searchlights trained on to the island.”

“Hey, Chief ...” Adam’s voice, metallic through the radio, was startled. “I can see a flashlight, and men outside one of the buildings--and a truck.”

“Get the boys in close, and line up the arcs. We’ll swing the chopper round and drop onto the car park at the other end of the island. We don’t want to wise them up. Let me know when you’re ‘go.’ “

Hooligan bit his nails until Adam called back a few minutes later. “All ready, Chief.”

“Get me down.” Jumbo signalled the pilot, and pointed to the ambulance park. He tensed his muscles as the helicopter dropped, like an express elevator, toward the concrete square. The machine vibrated to a halt, the long blades swishing. The young orderly and the pilot pushed the Hooligan-laden wheelchair out of the doorway, and winched it, revolving slowly, the five feet to the ground.

“Cummon,” growled Hooligan. “Cut me loose of the damn bird.”

The orderly unhooked the cable and began wheeling the chair in the direction of Hooligan’s pointing finger.

Jumbo hissed over his shoulder: “If any shooting starts, make sure you get behind something solid. Just stay out of my way.”

The orderly eyed Hooligan’s broad back, and decided exactly what he’d do if any bullets started flying.

“Hurry,” snapped Hooligan, pointing to a group of men standing near the bridge. Adam, holding a submachine gun, ran to meet him. The orderly watched him arrive, saw the gun, let go of the handles of the chair and raised his arms above his head.

“Push,” hissed Hooligan. “Push, you crazy nut. He’s one of mine.”

Adam panted over.

“You got everything how I want?” Hooligan demanded.

“Yup. And we can see some figures. Seem to be a lot of them. There’s some inside the building, some outside with the truck, and a few in the bushes. I think they’re shifting the bones.”

“Right,” said Jumbo. “Give me your special.”

Adam pulled his police revolver from the holster on his belt. He passed it over to his chief. Hooligan flicked it open and spun the cylinder. “Don’t lose it,” said Adam. “It cost me money.”

Hooligan ignored the jibe. “Tell everyone to get their lights ready. When I raise my arms, I want everything turned on. No shooting unless they open fire.” He paused. “And tell the uniformed men not to perforate one of my boys this time.”

He motioned to the orderly to start pushing again. “And make it real quiet,” he told him. Nervously, the orderly padded forward. The wheelchair made a soft, crunching noise. Suddenly, Hooligan signalled him to stop. They could hear voices arguing by the derelict building ahead.

“But, madam, of course it’s MY dinosaur ...”

“Absolutely nae proof, laddie ... yours isn’t the ONLY dinosaur in the world, you know ...” Hooligan shuddered as he recognized the voice of the Scots nanny.

“What about our ten grand, then?”

Hooligan’s eyes searched the gloom. He could make out darker than dark shadows amongst the trees. He looked out towards the river, the patrol boats were lined up in midstream, their bows pointing towards him. He glanced up at the bridge. It was lined with figures.

Hooligan whispered behind him. “Hold me up. I want to stand.” He raised himself gingerly and balanced his weight on his good leg.

Jumbo Hooligan took a deep breath. Dressing gown flowing like biblical robes, he raised his arms in a God-like gesture. Miraculously it became daylight.

“Hold it, you there . .he bawled. “This is the police. Freeeeeze.”

Jumbo Hooligan wheeled himself across the office, spun the chair and wheeled it back again. His team lined the side walls, pistols drawn and held, resting on folded arms, penning Hooligan’s captives.

“HA?” roared Jumbo. “A fine collection. All fresh from the hoosegow. Let me have a look at you. White collar workers... nurses ... hobos ... and spies.”

Una sneezed, loudly. Hooligan glared at her. “You, lady, I know you’ve got to do it. But do it quietly.” He swung his chair again and stopped in front of the museum official, “HA,” he shouted, again. The man quivered.

“Er . . Mister Hooligan, you remember me. I’m from the museum . .”

“Mmmmm,” said Jumbo. “So what were YOU doing down on the island? Excavating?”

“I ... er ... I had a tip-off.” He pointed to Billie Big Canoe. “This man, Mr. Canute. He came and told me he’d found our dinosaur. We just went along to collect it.”

“And of course, you notified the police first. Hell, man, the 20th Precinct have been screwing this town inside out for the past week, trying to get those god-dammed bones for you.”

“I... er ... forgot. The excitement,” mumbled the embarrassed official.

“But you notified the Chinese.”

“Of course ... er ... no. I’m afraid I don’t know them. Just these three gentlemen, my colleagues. We went together.”

“Okay,” growled Jumbo. “Ivor, take those four outside. Get statements from them.” He looked back at the museum official. “I’ll want to see you again later.”

Ivor and the four men shuffled out of the room. Hooligan spun his wheelchair again and stopped it in front of Billie Big Canoe.

“Who are you . . . ?”

“Billie Big Canoe, Chief,” said Billie. “And this is my buddy, Herman.” Herman nodded, wildly. “We was just along there with the museum man. We found the bones. We went and brought him back with us. Say, this won’t affect the reward, will it? I mean, ten thou . . .” Hooligan held up his hand. “Huw, get these two outside. Statements again. And you’d better hold them until we check ’em out.”

“Boss ... we ain’t done nothin’. We was only helping,” said Billie Big Canoe.

“How about trespass?” asked Jumbo Hooligan. He twisted himself in the wheelchair until he could view the five Chinese.

“Okay, Lui Ho. Spill it.”

“Tourists,” said Lui Ho, in pained English. “We are tourists over here on cultural mission. We visiting hospital on Welfare Island. Only to inquire as to entertainment offered to inmates.”

“Nuts,” grunted Jumbo Hooligan.

“And, generally furthermore,” continued Lui Ho, wearing his most innocent expression, “we claim special consideration, because we are exceedingly patriotic NATIONALIST Chinese--from Formosa. God bless Chiang Kai-Shek. Long may he reign over us. Hurrah for Imperialist dragon and for Nationalist Chinamen. And also, four cheers for America, for great kindnesses shown to our beloved Nationalist China.”

“Crap,” snarled Hooligan, remembering the hours spent debugging his office after the last visit paid by Lui Ho’s team.

Jumbo Hooligan pushed himself up in his chair, so he could stare into Lui Ho’s eyes behind the frosted lenses. “All right, all right. I know all about you, Lui Ho, and all about your stinking team of Reds. I know how you got here, and where you came from. And I know how you got your Nationalist visas. I’ve been waiting quite a while to put the finger on you.” He paused. “So okay, you want to be real Nationalist Chinese! Well, that’s how we’ll treat you.”

Lui Ho smiled with relief.

“And we’ll send you
back
to
Nationalist China
.”

Lui Ho’s face bleached.

“We have some very, VERY good friends there. They’re ALWAYS very happy to receive ex-patriots. You know, Lui Ho, I never have trouble with the Turks or the French. Why don’t you Reds behave like the other spies?” Hooligan sighed. “I almost wish we were at war. Then I could have you shot here and now.” He signalled Boots and Ulysses. “Get this load of crap out of my office. Get them down to Kennedy Airport. Don’t let them collect or take anything with them. Get them on the first flight to Taipeh. AND have them escorted all the way. If they argue, chain ’em in the freight hold.”