One Night Scandal (24 page)
And with his father’s money. The idea that she would go to him for money still irritated him completely. He felt as if she betrayed him by doing so. He understood that she didn’t have enough to go on her own, but she might have come to him.
When they returned, he intended to give every pound back to the duke. Once she explained her reasons for taking his money.
“Tell me, Somerton”—Nicholas paused for a long moment—“do you think I can convince her to return home?”
“She believes she would only ruin you, Nicholas.”
Nicholas blew out a sigh. “I have told her repeatedly that I don’t care about that. I even told her I love her.”
“Nicholas, do you know Sophie’s biggest fear?”
Thinking back upon their earlier conversations, he couldn’t remember her speaking of anything except her fear that her father’s identity would get out. “Her father?”
“Not quite.” Somerton shook his head. “She would kill me if she knew what I was about to tell you. All her life, she has been abandoned by everyone she loved. First and foremost was the father who would never even admit she was his. Then, her loving mother who left Sophie with a nurse or governess in order to fuck some man until he tired of her. I was another great influence in her life. I would see her when it fit into my plans. Not when she needed me.”
“She does have her friends,” Nicholas reminded him.
“All of whom are now married and busy with their own lives.”
Nicholas remembered the loneliness he noticed in her gray eyes. “She had me.”
“Ah, yes. You. A marquess and future duke. In her eyes why would such a man take her for a wife? She’s a bastard.”
“I offered for her several times. Each time, she refused me.”
“Of course she did, you fool.” Somerton swore under his breath. “She doesn’t want to hurt you. She doesn’t want you to abandon her because marrying her ruined your reputation. She doesn’t want to watch you die, leaving her heartbroken and alone . . . again.”
“Watch me die?”
Somerton told him about her lack of visions with him and what happened with Lady Cantwell.
“She thinks I’m going to die?”
“Yes. So how will you persuade her to come home?”
Nicholas grinned. “I am bringing my secret weapon.”
Somerton laughed. “Emma! Of course. She cannot resist a child.”
“I didn’t think she could. Once Emma tells her how much she wants Sophie to be her mother, I believe Sophie will feel compelled to return. Besides, if I am truly to die, then Emma will desperately need a mother.”
“Devious, Nicholas.” Somerton smirked. “I do like the idea. And by the way, tell her that I have already informed the dowager Lady Selby that Sophie is my half sister. I’m quite certain Lady Selby will spread the gossip throughout the
ton
in a few days. By the time you and she return, everyone will know.”
ton
in a few days. By the time you and she return, everyone will know.”
“She might not be happy that you did that,” Nicholas commented.
“Just go bring her home. I can deal with my sister’s anger when she gets here.”
“I shall do just that.”
Chapter 24
After almost four weeks on the ship, with her morning sickness made only worse, Sophie had never been so happy to step on solid ground. Her mother met her at the docks in the count’s gondola.
Sophie looked around the city wishing she felt happier about returning. A bead of sweat rolled down her back as she held a handkerchief to her nose. Venice had been much more pleasant in winter.
Once the short ride ended, they walked toward her mother’s home through the small alleys that made up the city. Sophie had forgotten how confining some of the passageways were. If she put out both hands, she could reach the buildings on either side of her.
“I still cannot believe you are here,” her mother said as she opened the door to her home.
Sophie smiled at her mother’s warm greeting. “I am a little surprised that you are still here. It’s been a few months, are things still going well with the count?”
Her mother smiled brightly. “Very well.”
“Good.” And Sophie meant it. While her mother had never placed Sophie first in her life, she had done the best she could. Surviving on a man’s fancy was never easy, especially as a woman aged.
Although, her mother still had her looks. At forty-eight, her black hair had only a few strands of gray. Her face had a few more wrinkles but not as many as most women her age. And the woman had a figure most her age had lost decades ago.
“I want you to rest and have some tea.” Angelina brought her into a warm room with very high ceilings and a large crystal chandelier. The room vaguely reminded Sophie of the bedroom she and Nicholas had made love in. “I put you in a room next to me. If you decide to stay, we can find you a place on your own.”
While Sophie would love to stay with her mother for a longer amount of time, she understood. This house was only for the count to visit Angelina without his wife knowing. Sophie never realized just how hard a life that must be for her mother.
She sat on the brocade sofa as her mother ordered tea. Finally, the world had stopped spinning. She’d spent the first week onboard the ship doing nothing but crying and vomiting. Once she had cried herself dry, she did her best to convince herself she’d done the honorable thing.
But it never helped the pain in her heart.
Even now, almost a month later, she ached to see Nicholas again. How would she survive never seeing him, knowing he was in London with his wife and they were creating a family together? All the while, she would be here attempting to care for a child alone. Once the count tired of her mother, Angelina would no doubt return to London. Something Sophie could never do.
“Now, I would like the truth,” her mother said as she poured the tea. Handing the floral cup to Sophie, she added, “I know you would not be here if everything was going well in your life. Did your father threaten to stop paying your expenses?”
“I think you already know why I am here,” Sophie commented.
“Perhaps,” her mother replied with a nonchalant shrug. “I would still rather you told me than my sensing it.”
“I am with child. By a marquess.”
Her mother’s gray eyes widened. “Oh my, I thought an earl was lofty when I went after your father. But a marquess?”
“He will be a duke when his father dies, which might be any time as he has consumption.”
Angelina shook her head with a slight smile. “All these years you told me you would not end up like me. And yet, here you are.”
“I know, Mother.” Sophie stared at her hands as humiliation stained her cheeks.
“So your marquess gave you money to leave the country before his wife discovered the truth?”
Sophie sipped her tea. Her stomach was finally starting to settle. “Not quite. He is not married but he is betrothed. I left on my own because I would only ruin his reputation and that of Anthony and the girls.”
Her mother frowned as she shook her head. “You have spent your life always worrying about other people. Your protector knew what he was getting into when he made you his mistress. He should have offered to take care of you or at least the baby.”
“I wasn’t his mistress. We were lovers with no ties that bound us.”
Angelina stood and paced the room. “If you were going to take after me you should have paid more attention. A man needs to pay for your favors. He needs to set you up in a proper house with servants and dresses.”
“Mother, I didn’t want those things from him.”
Angelina blew out a long breath that waved her black hair away from her face. “You love him, don’t you?”
Tears blinded Sophie as she nodded. “I tried so hard not to, Mother.”
“Did you try to read him to see if he loved you?”
“I tried, Mother.” Sophie explained how she only saw him in her vision after she was knocked unconscious by the gondola. “I went to bed with him because I assumed he was the one for me.”
“But, Sophie,” Angelina started then paused. “If you are like me, you cannot read yourself.”
“What?”
“I have never been able to read myself. I always assumed it was just the way God made me. He wanted me to read others but not have an advantage on my own life.”
“Then why did I see him after I fell into the canal?”
Angelina paused for a long moment before replying. “You said you hit your head on the gondola. Maybe that had something to do with it. Perhaps the injury allowed you to see your own future for a short time until your mind healed.”
“Then why couldn’t I read Nicholas? I could sometimes read his thoughts but when he wanted to find his match, I could not read him. And then there’s Lady Cantwell . . .”
“Who is she?”
Sophie sighed and told her about her lack of visions with Lady Cantwell and her subsequent death.
“Darling, there are several things I’ve learned over the years about my visions. Perhaps it’s time you are taught the same lessons.”
“What lessons?”
“First, I have never been able to know for certain when someone is going to die. I’ve had people I read hours before their death and could still read them and then others, like this Lady Cantwell, where I see nothing for a week or two before their death.”
Sophie rubbed her temples to ward off the imminent headache. “What other lessons are you willing to impart?”
Angelina laughed softly. “You cannot read yourself. And you cannot read your true love’s future if it involves you.”
“Nicholas is my match?”
“I think your heart already knows that answer, my dear. I think it’s your head that can’t quite accept him as your match.”
Oh, God, she had made such a mess out of her life.
Sophie rose and walked to the window, letting her mother’s words sink in. She pushed open the wood shutter allowing the heat of the afternoon to filter into the room. Staring down at the small Campo Santa Marina, she wondered if her mother was right.
She turned away from the window and back to her mother. “Can you read me?”
“Does it matter?” Her mother sipped her tea with a secret smile.
“What do you mean?”
“What does your heart tell you?”
Sophie fisted her hands. “You taught me not to trust my heart!”
Angelina drew back. “I never did anything of the like. I only taught you to help others when they didn’t trust their own hearts.”
“Every time you trusted your heart you ended up getting hurt!”
Her mother shrugged. “Perhaps. But it was usually well worth the hurt. Sophie, if you truly love this man, what are you doing here?”
Sophie explained again how she couldn’t be the one to ruin everyone’s reputation. “It’s just wrong of me to think I’m more important than their name. I am nothing but a bastard.”
“No, your father is the bastard for not claiming you.”
Sophie could not tell her mother why her father had never claimed her. She had understood how important his standing was in Society. And after finding Anthony, she sensed the secret about his mother. “My father did what he thought was best. It might have been far worse for me . . . and you.”
“I suppose you are right.” Angelina smiled. “Let’s talk of something more pleasant. When do you think you are due?”
While she discussed her pregnancy with her mother, Sophie’s thoughts remained on Nicholas. Should she have trusted her heart?
No, it was far more important to keep his reputation and Emma’s from harm.
The next two weeks flew as Sophie moved into a small apartment not far from her mother. Thankfully, the home was furnished, saving her some money.
Sophie rubbed her tummy for the second time in just a few minutes. Why did it feel like she had tiny bubbles inside her? She pressed her hand to the spot again and laughed.
“What is it?” her mother asked, drinking her tea.
“I think I feel the baby moving!”
Angelina smiled back at her and then frowned in concentration. “Well, that is about right. You should have a little under five months left. Have you had your maid take out your dresses yet?”
Sophie smiled at her mother’s knowing look. “Yes, the bodices were starting to get a little tight.”
While not showing much, there was a slight bulge in her belly where a week ago there had been none.
“Mother?” Sophie said and then shook her head. It was wrong to ask this question.
“What do you want to know?”
“Can you sense the sex of the babe?” she whispered. It seemed so wrong to want to know, but she understood if it was a boy, she would have to inform Nicholas. He had a right to his son. Of course, he had the same rights for a daughter, too. And remembering how much love she saw in his eyes for Emma, she knew not telling him was so wrong.
“I can usually sense the sex of the child. But I prefer not to let the parents know.”
“Why not?”
“After nine months of carrying a child, it’s lovely to have a surprise at the end. I never would have wanted to know what you were.” She reached over and squeezed Sophie’s hand. “Holding you that first day was the most incredible experience of my life.”
“Thank you,” she whispered and wiped a tear away. “I only wanted to know because of Nicholas.”
“You haven’t informed him of his upcoming fatherhood?”
“I know I must but . . .” But there was no excuse other than fear. “I thought it best to wait until after he married.”
“You will write him today,” her mother ordered. “In fact, I believe I will leave you to your writing now. Boy or girl, he should know about his child.”
Sophie waited for her mother to leave the house before dipping her quill pen into the ink. She had written to all her friends a fortnight ago to let them know where she was staying. Her mother had found her a small apartment near Campo Santa Maria Formosa. But Sophie had never felt so lonely.
Her loneliness reminded her of Nicholas. While he had his friends and Emma, Sophie had seen something was missing from his life. And just like her, he wanted love.
Slowly, she wrote, trying to explain why she left him. Why she didn’t tell him about the baby. She crumpled five different versions and tossed them into the empty fireplace before finishing the sixth. Every letter reinforced the thought that she was terribly wrong. She should have told him in person about the baby. She should have told him she loved him.
As she reread the letter, tears welled in her eyes. She ached to return to London and see him again. She yearned to feel his strong arms about her.
Would he come to her when he learned of his child? She doubted Miss Littlebury would allow it. Justine would probably tell him not to worry about his bastard because she would give him an heir and a spare. And she would be right.
Nevertheless, Sophie would love this child enough for both of them. She rubbed her belly again as she felt slight tickling inside her. Soon she would feel real kicks. Movements that Nicholas should feel too, but he never would.
She readied the letter for the post and then gave it to her footman to be sent out. Nicholas would receive the note in about a month. It would then take another month before she might obtain a reply. If she received one at all.
She wiped her eyes and readied herself for her first client. Angelina had recommended Sophie to one of her friends. Thankfully, the woman was English therefore Sophie would not have to translate her thoughts from Italian to English. Starting her business again in Venice was not as easy as she’d thought it might be. Mediums abounded in Venice, and most spoke better Italian than she did.
Lady Sidwell had lost her husband two years ago and moved to Venice to mourn. Now she felt ready to move on and find love again. Angelina had promised her that Sophie could assist her in that matter.
A part of Sophie felt as if she were a fraud for giving people information on their true love when she’d given up her own love.
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