One Night Rodeo (41 page)

Celia found herself hauled into Kyle’s arms. He let her curl up in a ball on his lap, and held her as she sobbed. Which made it worse because he had the ability to soothe her like no one else. How could this all be a lie?

She cried harder.

Her phone began to vibrate on the floor. She practically leaped out of Kyle’s arms to scoop it up.

Tanna. Again. She hastily wiped her face. “Hey, T. No. It’s okay.” Celia began to pace as she listened to Tanna’s nonsensical ramblings. “Of course. You don’t even have to ask. Seriously. It’s a three-hour drive. I’ll let you know as soon as I get there.” Celia couldn’t look at Kyle. “Kyle has this ranch thing down pat. He won’t miss his ranch hand at all.”

Kyle made a growling noise behind her.

“Cell service in Wyoming sucks, so don’t panic if you can’t get ahold of me, okay?”

She couldn’t afford to break down now. She had to focus on Tanna. Be strong for her friend. She grabbed her duffel bag from Bernice’s office and slipped her coat on. She felt Kyle’s burning gaze on her so she met it head-on.

“Goin’ someplace?”

“Texas.”

“You’re going to Texas now?” he said incredulously. “How are you getting there?”

“I’ll drive to Denver and fly to Dallas.”

“So you’re just gonna jump in your truck and leave without talking to me about any of this first?”

“Tanna needs me. Her family has been my family for the last four years. And there’s nothing for me here anymore.”

“Celia,” Kyle said sharply. “You can’t just drop everything and go to her.”

“Says who?”

“Me.”

“And who are you? Right. You’re the man who’s not really my husband. You’re the guy who kept me in the dark about our marriage being a lie.”

“It wasn’t a lie, goddammit. The way I feel about you isn’t a lie. What we had—what we still have—isn’t a lie either. You know that.”

“It doesn’t matter.” She raced out the door.

Two seconds later Kyle had caught her and latched onto her biceps. “It’s the only thing that matters. Look at me, Celia.”

She shook her head.

“Please.”

She might’ve snapped at him if he hadn’t softened his tone. Softened his hold. If he hadn’t said
please
. Against her better judgment, she looked into his eyes and saw the same misery she felt.

“These last three months have been the best of my life. I don’t want to lose you. Not because I need your ranching expertise but because I need you.”

“Why are you telling me this now?”

He broke eye contact for a second. “Because you wouldn’t let me tell you before.”

“It just proves you didn’t try very hard to tell me anything, did you?” Celia jerked out of his hold and made tracks for her truck.

But Kyle didn’t let her get far. “Fine, you’re right. I’ve been a closemouthed jerk. I’ll come with you and we’ll talk about it on the way to Denver.”

“I don’t know how long I’ll be gone and you have a ranch to run.”

He snarled, “I don’t give a shit about the ranch right now.”

She wheeled around after throwing her duffel bag in the back of her pickup. “Don’t ever say that. Those animals depend on you. They are your responsibility. This is your life now. You can’t just up and take off whenever the hell you want.”

“And you can?”

“It’s not
my
ranch, Kyle. I have no claim on it.”
I have no claim on you.
“And don’t worry about giving me any of the money you promised me when I agreed to stay married to you. I don’t want it.”

“You certainly don’t need it anymore, do you?” he shot back.

Celia stiffened.

“You wanna talk about a secret? How about the amount of money in your bank account? Was your claim that you were too broke to buy even a jug of juice a total lie?”

“No! I was that broke. I’ve been so broke for the last year I couldn’t have competed if it hadn’t been for Tanna.” Was that part of the reason she’d felt so obligated to go to Texas? Because she owed Tanna?

“Then where did you get that much money?” he demanded.

Tell him it’s none of his business
. “From Abe and Hank. You got your inheritance and they gave me mine.”

“Were you going to tell me?”

Celia stared at him, refusing to feel guilty. “It’s pointless now, isn’t it? You have your ranch and I have the means to go to school. We both got what we wanted.”

“So we’re done? You don’t need my money, you don’t need me, and so you’re not sticking around? We played house for a few months and that’s it?”

“What do you want me to say?”

His eyes searched hers with such intensity she couldn’t look away. “Say that the time we spent together meant something to you.”

No matter how upset she was, she couldn’t lie to him.

You don’t have to be an idiot and blurt out the truth either.

But Celia found herself doing just that. “Yes, it meant something to me, asshole.”

Just like that, his miserable posture changed. He erased the distance between them with four angry strides. “You want to know the honest-to-God truth, Celia? I love you. For chrissake, woman, I’ve been half in love with you for the last two years and you haven’t even noticed! So what if we were impaired the night we got married? Marrying you was the best thing I’ve ever done in my life and I won’t apologize for it.”

Her mouth dropped open. “Then why didn’t you just tell me that?”

“Because I was afraid this would happen! You’d get pissed about the marriage license screwup and not believe me when I said it didn’t matter to me. I wanted to be with you anyway. With you as my wife. I’d decided to give myself every single fucking minute of those six months you promised me because that might be all I’d ever get with you.”

“Kyle.”

“I love you. Do you hear me? I love you.” He shouted the last part. “Only you. Only ever you, Celia. From the moment I knew I’d made pledges to you I’ve considered you my wife.
Mine
. Even now, when I know the rings aren’t legally binding, I won’t take mine off. Because it means something to me. You mean everything to me. You know in your heart that what we have is real. No little piece of paper should have the power to change that.”

Now that he’d finally opened up to her, telling her everything she’d wanted to hear for months…she had to leave? But she had no choice. Tanna, who took great pride in not needing anyone, had begged her to come to Texas. And Celia wouldn’t let Tanna down when she so desperately needed someone to help hold her up.

But what if her leaving at such a crucial time put everything with Kyle in jeopardy? What if he gave her an ultimatum?

He must’ve sensed her indecision because his eyes were gentle even when his tone stayed firm. “I know you need to go to Tanna. I’m not asking you to slap your friend’s hand away when she’s reached out to you.” He paused. “But don’t slap mine away either.”

She remembered saying that to him and it’d been a turning point for them.

“I’ll stay here and hold down our ranch. Not mine,
ours
. I will be waiting in
our
house, sleeping in
our
bed, waiting for you to come home to me. You belong with me. You’re happy with me.”

Kyle didn’t touch her. Didn’t beg her to keep in contact with him. He just looked her dead in the eye and said, “I’ll be waiting for you. As long as it takes, Celia. I love you.”

Then he turned and walked away.

Kyle had hoped for a declaration of love from Celia after he’d yelled out that he loved her in the parting lot of Bernice’s Beauty Barn, for chrissake.

But somehow…her calling him an asshole was close enough to an admission of feelings to prompt him to come clean with her about everything. He’d laid himself bare for her. He hoped it would be enough to make this right.

He just had to put his head down, keep the ranch running, and hope like hell she came back to him.

Day one without Celia sucked ass.

Day two without Celia sucked ass.

Day three without Celia sucked ass.

By day four without Celia, Kyle was ready to sell the whole damn ranch.

So when his mother’s car pulled up to the house, Kyle was so happy to see her he opened the door even before she knocked.

He watched her climb out of the car, the smart, strong woman who’d raised him on her own. She’d had no family, no one to count on but herself
during her pregnancy and throughout his childhood. It’d always been the two of them. It’d always been enough.

If he truly thought about it, he hadn’t been overly concerned about discovering the identity of his father growing up. Once in a while he’d ask his mother, never really expecting a serious response. He’d become obsessed with the male who’d given him half of his DNA only since he’d received the inheritance from that mysterious man.

Genetically, Kyle didn’t know if he’d inherited any of his father’s features. He’d not found a single picture of Marshall in any of his belongings. So because he had only a fuzzy mental image of the man, he had no idea if he and Marshall had the same hands or the same eyebrow shape or the same shoe size.

But Kyle knew what his mom had looked like as a child. As a teenager. As a young mother. He knew how she’d felt at all those different stages of her life. He knew he’d inherited her eyes, her mouth, and her good nature.

Her work ethic.

Her capacity to love unconditionally.

Over the past few days, he’d had all the time in the world to think and no one to talk to about his realizations. Maybe revelation was a more apt description for what he’d finally grasped: Marshall Townsend had lost out.

Kyle understood that he would not find a letter of explanation from Marshall in the boxes of papers about why he’d made no effort to get to know his son. He wouldn’t find a secret scrapbook Marshall had compiled with newspaper clippings of Kyle’s triumphs in the world of rodeo.

At last count his mother had thirty-two scrapbooks. One devoted to every year of Kyle’s life. And she made an effort every day to be part of her son’s life.

That’s what counted.

Kyle could spend the rest of his life second-guessing a dead stranger’s motives, or he could do as Celia had suggested weeks ago. He could let it go. Be happy with his windfall. Be grateful Marshall had given him some land, cattle, and money. Be grateful his mother had given him so much more.

Two weeks ago he’d authorized the lawyer to release the money
Marshall had set aside for her, plus extra from his account. She’d called him immediately, completely in shock. When she’d started crying, he’d lied about having chores to finish and quickly ended the call. He’d had no idea how to deal with her gratitude.

Looks like he’d have to come up with something on the fly.

Sherry Gilchrist bounded up the steps and hugged him. “My boy.”

He hugged her back. Hard. “Hey, hot Mama. Come on in.”

“What’s this? You actually seem happy to see me.”

“I am.”

“So, how are you?”

Lonely. “Hanging in there.”

She glanced up. “Don’t lie to me, Kyle Dean Gilchrist. You look like hell.”

“Thanks for the confidence booster.”

“You’d be disappointed if I started sugarcoating my maternal responses to you now.”

He grinned. The woman who’d given birth to him definitely had her own way of doing things. And he appreciated more than ever the easy rhythm to their relationship. “What brings you by?”

“I’ve got appointments in Rawlins and I wanted to talk to you face-to-face so you couldn’t hang up on me.”

“Am I in trouble for that?”

“No. But I’m pretty sure I raised you better than that.” She kicked off her stiletto boots and wandered through the living room. “Oh, Kyle, just look at your home. It’s so nice. Not too fussy. Warm and welcoming. It’s perfect for you and Celia.”

“Thanks. I owe all the decorating and stuff to her.”

She sat on the love seat. “Where is your lovely wife?”

“Texas. Her best friend’s mom had a stroke, so she went down to be with the family.”

“That girl…She really is a sweetie, isn’t she? So thoughtful. So genuinely helpful.” Then she frowned. “Wait. She left you here to handle the ranch by yourself?”

He only bristled a little. “We’re through with calving, which is the worst part. I’m just fine on my own.”
Liar
.