One Night Only (190 page)

“I’
m
afrai
d
tha
t
Poll
y
i
s
goin
g
t
o
leav
e
me,
”
h
e
said. “That
’
s
wha
t
you
r
bi
g
nigh
t
awa
y
wa
s
fo
r
,
wasn
’
t
it
?
So
sh
e
coul
d
conside
r
he
r
options
.
S
o
sh
e
coul
d
se
e
wha
t
life
wa
s
lik
e
o
n
th
e
othe
r
side.
”

Rut
h
shoo
k
he
r
head
.
O
h
God
.
Sh
e
wasn
’
t
sur
e
ho
w
to respond
.
Hi
s
statemen
t
ha
d
knocke
d
he
r
fo
r
si
x
an
d
she
didn
’
t
kno
w
wha
t
t
o
sa
y
.

“E
m
.
.
.
”

“
I
kno
w
sh
e
isn
’
t
happ
y
.
Neithe
r
o
f
u
s
ar
e
righ
t
no
w
.
Bu
t
that
’
s
wha
t
happen
s
i
n
marriage
,
isn
’
t
it
?
I
t
goe
s
off
th
e
boil
,
yo
u
charg
e
on
,
yo
u
fi
x
it
.
Di
d
sh
e
sa
y
anything?
I
nee
d
t
o
kno
w
.
”

“No
,
no
t
a
t
all,
”
sh
e
said
,
an
d
the
n
sh
e
remembered
Polly
’
s
confessio
n
i
n
th
e
Chines
e
restauran
t
wher
e
sh
e
said
sh
e
didn
’
t
kno
w
i
f
sh
e
wante
d
t
o
b
e
marrie
d
a
t
al
l
and Ruth
’
s
advic
e
wit
h
th
e
metapho
r
tha
t
matche
d
hi
s
exactly
thing
s
simme
r
,
g
o
of
f
th
e
boil
,
bu
t
whe
n
the
y
boi
l
over ther
e
i
s
th
e
dange
r
o
f
ther
e
bein
g
nothin
g
left
.
“
W
ell
,
I’m
no
t
reall
y
th
e
on
e
t
o
ask
.
I
hav
e
a
faile
d
marriag
e
behind
m
e
an
d
I
don
’
t
kno
w
a
n
awfu
l
lo
t
abou
t
others
.
I
really
thin
k
yo
u
shoul
d
tal
k
t
o
Poll
y
abou
t
this.
”

Jame
s
sa
t
dow
n
a
t
th
e
kitche
n
tabl
e
an
d
rubbe
d
his
forehead
.
A
s
i
f
sh
e
wa
s
o
n
autopilot
,
Rut
h
fetche
d
the bottl
e
an
d
toppe
d
u
p
hi
s
whiske
y
.
H
e
gulpe
d
i
t
bac
k
like
i
t
wa
s
hi
s
lifeline
.

“
I
don
’
t
normall
y
drin
k
much,
”
h
e
said
.
“It
’
s
jus
t
.
.
.
well
,
I
don
’
t
sa
y
muc
h
eithe
r
thes
e
day
s
an
d
that
’
s
par
t
of th
e
problem
.
I
jus
t
can
’
t
fin
d
th
e
words
,
yo
u
kno
w
.
Did yo
u
eve
r
jus
t
ge
t
t
o
th
e
stag
e
i
n
lif
e
whe
n
findin
g
th
e
right word
s
i
s
th
e
hardes
t
thin
g
o
f
all?
”

H
e
swirle
d
th
e
whiske
y
i
n
hi
s
glas
s
a
s
h
e
spok
e
and Rut
h
sa
t
dow
n
a
t
th
e
tabl
e
again
.

“Hav
e
yo
u
.
.
.
hav
e
yo
u
eve
r
though
t
tha
t
yo
u
might
b
e
.
.
.
mayb
e
you’r
e
clinicall
y
depressed
,
James
?
Perhaps yo
u
shoul
d
se
e
a
doctor
?
I’v
e
bee
n
there
.
I
kno
w
that horribl
e
feelin
g
o
f
hopelessnes
s
whe
n
everything
,
even
holdin
g
dow
n
a
conversatio
n
wit
h
th
e
peopl
e
yo
u
love,
feel
s
lik
e
climbin
g
a
mountain.
”

Jame
s
looke
d
u
p
a
t
he
r
.
H
e
shoo
k
hi
s
hea
d
i
n
denial. “Me
?
Depressed?
”
h
e
sai
d
emphaticall
y
.
“Sure
,
what
o
n
eart
h
woul
d
I
hav
e
t
o
b
e
depresse
d
about
?
I
hav
e
i
t
all, don
’
t
I
?
A
gorgeou
s
wife
,
a
goo
d
job
,
thre
e
beautifu
l
boys wh
o
thin
k
th
e
worl
d
o
f
me
?
Othe
r
me
n
woul
d
kil
l
t
o
walk
a
da
y
i
n
m
y
shoe
s
an
d
al
l
I
ca
n
d
o
i
s
moa
n
abou
t
it.
”