One-Man Band (4 page)

After school, Mr. Scary called Mother at her work. And he told her that I got disappointed about the tournament.

That's how come—for dinner that night—Mother made my favorite meal of pasketti and meatballs. Plus she and Daddy tried to be extra nice to me.

“I know you're upset about not being in the kickball game,” Mother said. “But everyone has disappointments in life, honey.”

I was still in a bad mood.

“I
hate
disappointments. I hate them,” I said.

Daddy patted me. “Yes, well, we all hate being disappointed, Junie B.,” he said. “But Mr. Scary said you can still do something fun in the tournament.”

I did a mad breath. “I
hate
that dumb tournament. I hate it,” I said.

Daddy squinted his eyes at me.

He said to please stop saying
hate.

“I
hate
saying
hate.
I hate it,” I said.

After that, Daddy picked me up. And he carried me to my room for a time-out.

It was not unexpected.

I waited till he was gone.

“I
hate
time-outs. I hate them,” I whispered to my stuffed elephant named Philip Johnny Bob.

I hate them, too, Junie B.
, he said back.

I hate everything you hate. You and me hate everything exactly the same.

I hugged him very tight.

I love that guy.

After that, both of us flopped on my bed. And we calmed ourself down.

Pretty soon, Mother came and got me. And she took me back to the table.

I did not talk to Daddy.

Also, I did not talk to my baby brother named Ollie. ’Cause he is just learning words. And all he keeps saying is
moo.

Mother tried to be nice some more.

“Are you
sure
you wouldn't like to be a cheerleader, Junie B.?” she said. “I know you couldn't jump up and down on your sore toe. But you could still yell and shout for your team.”

Daddy did a chuckle. “And yelling and shouting are right up your alley,” he teased.

I did not laugh at that remark.

Daddy poked me. “Oh, don't be so glum,” he said. “Being a cheerleader wouldn't be so bad, would it?
Every
little girl likes cheerleading.”

I rolled my eyes at the ceiling.

“But I'm
not
every little girl, Daddy. I
am just
me.
Junie B. Jones. And I don't
want
to be a cheerleader. I want to be on the kickball team.”

Just then, my nose started to sniffle very much.

“I even had a daydream about it,” I said. “I was the star of the whole entire game. And it was very wonderful. Only now that is never going to happen.”

Mother gave me a hug. “Well, no one can be a star
all
the time,” she said. “It's just like I said earlier. Everyone has disappointments sometimes.”

“Right,” said Daddy. “And when life hands you lemons, you have to learn to make lemonade.”

I looked weird at that man.

“Huh?” I said. “What's lemonade got to do with this?”

Mother smiled. “It's just a
saying
, Junie B.,” she said. “It means that when life goes a little bit sour, you need to find a way to sweeten it up a bit.”

Just then, Daddy went to the refrigerator. And he took out three lemons.

“Here, look. I'll show you,” he said.

He held up the lemons for me to see.

“See what I have here?” he said. “They're just three sour old lemons, right?”

I did a shrug. “I guess so.”

Daddy grinned. “Ahhh … but maybe these sour lemons are more fun than they look,” he said.

Then, one by one, he threw each lemon into the air.

And WOWIE WOW WOW!

HE STARTED TO
JUGGLE
THEM!

I
mean
it!

He
did
!

My daddy juggled those lemons way high in the air! And I didn't even know that he
had
that talent!

I clapped and cheered very thrilled.

Ollie clapped, too.

Also, he said
moo.

Then all of us started to laugh.

And Daddy did a bow.

“Do you see what I mean now?” he asked. “I turned three sour lemons into something more fun.”

“And you can do the same thing, Junie B.,” said Mother. “All you have to do is think of something fun to do in the kickball tournament. And then your sour situation will turn happy, too. Understand?”

I nodded very fast.

“I
do
, Mother! I do understand,” I said.

“And guess what else? I think I already know what I'm going to do!”

I jumped down from my chair. And I picked up the lemons from the counter.

“I think I'm going to
juggle
!” I said very joyful. “I'll juggle in Sheldon's halftime show! And then everyone will clap and cheer! And I will be the star of that whole production!”

After that, I stood in the middle of the kitchen, just like Daddy did.

And one by one, I threw each lemon into the air.

I kept my eyes on them very perfect.

Only too bad for me. Because two of them crashed into the table. Plus the other one hit Ollie in the head.

He started to cry.

I patted him real fast.

Then I quick picked up the lemons. And I hurried up to my room.

’Cause juggling was going to take a little practice, apparently.

And there were only three days left until Friday!

As soon as I finished writing, Mr. Scary walked to the front of the room. And he asked us to put away our journals.

“Boys and girls, there are a few more
things I need to tell you about the kick-ball tournament on Friday,” he said. “For one thing—today and tomorrow—we'll be taking extra-long recess periods to get ready.”

He looked around the class.

“Those of you playing on the team will be practicing on the softball field. And those of you who are cheerleaders will be practicing on the sidelines,” he told us.

Camille and Chenille jumped right up from their seats.

“Mr. Scary! Mr. Scary! We have good news!” said Camille.

“Yes, we
do
!” said Chenille. “Our mother was a cheerleader in college. And last night she taught us some cheers!”

“Right!” said Camille. “And so today Chenille and I can teach them to the other girls!”

Mr. Scary smiled very pleased.

“That's
excellent
news, girls,” he said. “I'll put you two in charge of teaching the cheers. Then I will have more time to work
with the kickball team and the halftime show.”

He looked back in my direction.

“Oh … and speaking of the halftime show, have you made a decision about what you want to do yet, Junie B.?”

I started to nod real happy.

Then, all of a sudden, I stopped.

On account of what if I told Room One that I was going to juggle in the halftime show? Only I still couldn't learn that talent by Friday?

Then some of the children might shout
BOO
at me. Plus others might laugh and laugh.

I tapped on my desk very thinking.

BUT—on the
other
hand—maybe I should just tell my class the whole entire truth. ’Cause Mother says the truth is
always
best. Only that is not the truth, of course. But maybe this one time, the truth might be the easiest.

“Junie B.?” said my teacher again.

I stood up at my desk. And I looked at Room One in their eyes.

“Okay … here is the whole entire truth,” I said. “I am
trying
to learn how to juggle for Sheldon's halftime show. Only please do not get your hopes up, people. ’Cause I maybe might not learn it in time. And so—if I don't juggle at halftime—there is no laughing or booing allowed. And I
mean
it.”

I quick sat back down again.

Lennie and Herb turned around in their seats.

“Whoa! You're learning to
juggle
?” said Lennie. “That's cool.”

“Yeah, it
is
cool,” said Herbert. “I wish I could juggle.”

May rolled her eyes.

“
I
don't,” she said. “What's so fun about throwing stuff in the air? And anyway, juggling is only for the circus. Who ever heard of juggling in a halftime show?”