One Kiss
I. In Which Our Hero Confronts Fairy Godmother
II. In Which Our Hero Meets an Impertinent Maid
III. In Which Our Hero Spies on the Maid
IV. In Which Our Hero Gives the First Golden Ball to the Princess
V. In Which Our Hero Comes to the Maid’s Rescue
VI. In Which Our Hero Is Betrayed
VII. In Which the Villain Gets the Princess
VIII. In Which the Hero Wins the Woman of Worth
Excerpt: A Happily Ever After of Her Own
ONE KISS
He is a legend…
Robert is a royal prince cursed into his current predicament: remain a frog until he can get someone to kiss him…willingly. After years of searching, he finally finds a suitable royal princess.
She is but a humble maid…
Practical maid to the royal princess, Molly promises to help Robert in return for gold enough to fund her retirement. She doesn’t want to waste her youth waiting on someone as capricious and shallow as the princess, instead of living her life.
But love knows no boundaries…
Unexpected problems unravel Robert’s plan. The princess thinks frogs are disgusting, and his evil cousin shows up to steal both the princess and the throne that rightfully belongs to Robert. To compound matters, all he can think about is the quick-witted Molly.
But to undo the curse and inherit the throne, Robert must have a kiss from a royal princess and marry her.
What’s a cursed prince to do?
Warning:
This title contains the following:
Fairy Godmother, a killer punt, porcupines of evil, the Wicked Witch’s justice and a happily ever after (or two).
Nadia Lee
Ever After Book 2
Once upon a time
there was a proud—and somewhat misguided—prince…
“Move aside! I demand to see Fairy Godmother now!”
“She’s busy, Your Royal Highness,” the uniformed porcupine said, shield and swagger stick held tightly before his body.
Robert narrowed his eyes. He wanted to hiss as well, but unfortunately it was impossible. “Why, pray tell, is she always busy whenever I come by?”
“Maybe you should work on your timing. Or make an appointment with her assistant before showing up.”
The porcupine’s partner pressed his lips together, and his quills quivered a bit.
Funny, was it?
Robert’s throat swelled before he could catch himself. Damn frog habits. “I don’t care how bad the timing is. I must see her now!”
“Fairy Godmother is currently busy. You will have to wait.”
Robert stiffened at the impertinent tone. If he’d been in his true form, no porcupine would’ve dared speak to him so. Who could possibly respect him, regardless of his royal title and impeccable lineage, if he looked like a frog? If being cursed was his fate, why couldn’t he at least have been a respectable lion or tiger? Even a giant octopus would’ve been preferable.
Well, it didn’t matter what the damnable guard-rodent said. Robert was going in as soon as the door opened. If there was one thing his current insufferable condition allowed him to do well, it was jump.
The door opened. A perfumed silk skirt brushed past him as Fairy Godmother’s visitor left. He leapt, clearing the guards in a single herculean bound, and landed inside.
The spacious room had multiple windows and bookcases full of leather-jacketed tomes. He spotted Fairy Godmother on a love seat. Her loose curls tumbled over her shoulders, and her dress looked brilliantly colorless in the sun. Two half-eaten sandwiches and a pair of tea-cups sat on a silver tray on the low table in front of her. Two more leaps and he was in front of her.
“Fairy Godmother!” he shouted.
She looked down. “Why hello, Robert. How are you?”
The impudent porcupines rushed inside. “Fairy Godmother, we’re so sorry. We couldn’t stop him from trespassing—”
“I did not trespass!” Robert said. “I never trespass. I am a prince. A
royal
” —he adjusted his crown pointedly— “prince.”
“Yeah yeah.” The guards closed in. “You and a million other cursed things.”
“Stop.” Fairy Godmother rearranged the pleats of her dress, shifting her legs. “Obviously Robert has something urgent to tell me. I shall hear what he has to say.”
“Thank you.” Robert turned to the porcupines with no small satisfaction. “This is a private matter, so kindly take your quills and leave.”
The porcupines bristled, but when Fairy Godmother waved her hand, they left. The door shut behind them, giving Robert the privacy he sought.
Finally.
“What is it, Robert?” she said. “I have a tight schedule today.”
“It’s about my condition.”
“What about it?”
“When are you going to give me a princess?”
She frowned. “I thought you already had somebody to undo your curse.”
“I do not.”
“What happened to Beauty?”
“She’s a commoner,” he said, hopping in agitation. Egad, it was horrific; he couldn’t even pace like a dignified royal in distress. Once he regained his true form, would he even remember how? “A commoner simply won’t do. I’m a royal prince.”
“I don’t recall the curse requiring anyone specific…”
“It does! It has to be a woman of worth.” One who would willingly kiss him. But he could never speak about it openly with anybody except Fairy Godmother and her sister the Wicked Witch. It was part of the damned curse.
Fairy Godmother pursed her lips and frowned delicately. “What’s unworthy about Beauty?”
“I repeat, I am a royal prince. Beauty is a commoner. The Wicked Witch was quite specific.”
“Robert. I believe she merely
implied
you should get yourself a princess.”
“I’d rather not muck this up.” The Wicked Witch had said he’d get only one chance to undo the curse. If he got kissed by the wrong woman, he would never regain his true form. He scowled. “You must have a princess available.”
She shrugged. “I really can’t think of any.”
“How about Gwyneira?”
“Oh. Well.” She cleared her throat. “No. She’s already promised to another.”
“‘Another’ can have her. I need only a kiss.”
“No, she can’t help you. She has to think of herself first.”
“I can take care of her.”
Fairy Godmother shook her head, setting the golden curls bouncing with precious elastic vigor. “You’ll only make things worse in your current condition,” she said sweetly. “There’s no antidote for poison made with cursed frogs.”
Robert scowled in frustration. He had no idea what she was talking about. “Poison? What poison? What does this have to do with Gwyneira and me?”
“Apparently, her stepmother wants to kill her because some silly mirror said Gwyneira is the fairest of them all. The queen has the reputation of being rather fond of poisons, and you would make the most perfect ingredient for one.”
“Well we needn’t
tell
the queen…”
“But if she found out.”
“I’m very difficult to catch.”
“True, but still. What if she has a net?”
He focused on his goal. “Besides, I have been given to understand that her betrothed no longer wants her. I can destroy the stepmother and claim Gwyneira as my own.”
“Dear child, you are misinformed. What man wouldn’t want the fairest of them all for his bride?”
Hmm. Fairy Godmother had a point. Perhaps his sources were wrong. “Very well. But I still want a princess. She doesn’t have to be the fairest of them all, but she still needs to be gorgeous, royal and impeccably educated.” Suddenly he stopped, as an idea popped into his head. “Aha! Sleeping Beauty!”
The gilded tresses sprang sadly back and forth. “Best not to even think of it. If you try, you’ll not only remain a frog but acquire her curse as well. Do you really wish to become Sleeping Frog?” Fairy Godmother scrunched her face prettily. “My sister really thought this one through.”
It seemed so. Why couldn’t he have been one of the first few the Wicked Witch had hexed? Like the Beast? That one had been easy to break.
“Well, what do you suggest I do?” he asked testily.
Fairy Godmother shrugged. “Convince Beauty to kiss you. She’s better than no one.”
“No. It must be a royal princess. I’m going to inherit soon, and whoever undoes my curse will want to become my queen. I can’t possibly marry a commoner.”
“Commoners aren’t so bad,” she said. “They’re rather sturdy, and infinitely less inbred.”
“Haven’t you heard a word I’ve said, Fairy Godmother? I’m going to be a king.”
“I heard you. You’re worried about losing out to John.”
Robert’s throat swelled uncontrollably at the mention of his ambitious cousin. That insufferable pretender should’ve been the one cursed, not he. But the Wicked Witch didn’t care about bloodlines, just who could suck up the best, and if there was one thing John did better than anyone, it was sucking up.
Fairy Godmother sighed. “If you absolutely
must
have a princess, why not try Serenia? She isn’t promised to anybody, and she is unquestionably royal.”
Finally! He knew she’d had a princess in reserve. “Thank you,” he said grudgingly. Though Fairy Godmother had been reluctant to divulge this option, he couldn’t afford to alienate her.
“But Robert, the curse never stipulated a member of a royal family.”
“Be that as it may,” he said. “It would please the Wicked Witch no end if I wound up with some lowborn wench, and I have no intention of making her happy.” Difficult to bow when one’s head was already so close to the floor, so Robert had no choice but to perform a sort of push-up of obeisance. How undignified. Still, courtly manners dictated the gesture. “I won’t take up any more of your time, Fairy Godmother. I have a princess to woo.”
Molly held a giant tri-colored parasol, balancing it carefully. Princess Serenia was particular about her complexion, and it somehow fell to Molly to keep it pristine.
If the princess was that concerned, she should’ve stayed indoors. But no. She wanted the exercise, a leisurely walk through the royal garden late every morning, to ensure that she remained fit and trim. How moving at a pace even the slowest snail could match improved her constitution, Molly did not know. But anything brisker might have made the princess sweat, and heaven forbid she should perspire like a common farmhand.
“Hold it straighter,” Princess Serenia ordered. “I’ll have your head if I get even a hint of freckles on my face.”
Molly gritted her teeth, while pulling her lips away in what she hoped was a subservient smile. “Yes, Your Royal Highness.” She adjusted the parasol. Her shoulders protested, the muscles burning.
“I know people don’t always understand what it’s like to be me…the princess, I mean.”
“Naturally not, Your Royal Highness.” Most people didn’t have servants who waited on them, more food than they could possibly eat, or rooms full of silk and jewels. No, most people toiled away every day, from sunup to sundown, providing for themselves and the families that depended on them. “How could they possibly understand the hardship of being a royal princess?”
“Exactly! I wish…” Serenia frowned, looking down in a good imitation of thoughtfulness. It was something she did often, but Molly had never heard her utter a single insightful comment. “It’s too bad Prince John couldn’t join us.”
“He is tired from his travels.”
“Yes. He did say that.” The princess’s scowl deepened.
With an inward sigh, Molly made a mental note to slather more facial butter on Princess Serenia’s forehead. Preventing wrinkles was Molly’s responsibility as well.
They had walked a bit further when suddenly Princess Serenia let out a piercing scream.
Molly winced. “Your Royal Highness?”
“Oh my, my! Oh my!” Princess Serenia hopped about, the trio of pink ribbons in her hair bouncing madly.
Molly shuffled back and forth quickly to ensure the parasol kept the sun off the princess. “What’s the matter?”
“A giant frog!” The princess grabbed Molly’s wrist and moved over to a tree away from the spot. “Kill it. You must kill it!”
“Your Royal Highness, what about your complexion?” Molly was rather fond of her head.
