One Good Reason (14 page)

Hayden
stood and walked towards her. “I don’t know what your relationship is like with
your dad, but this goes beyond him. It goes beyond all of us.”

“I
know that. That’s why this is so frustrating! I thought that if I knew the
truth about why I was taken, that I could channel my hate into it. I would find
the truth out and could somehow feel better. But to find out the whole reason
was because of Paul and his stupid need to discover the next big story, is so…
Argh!”

Ava
kicked the sand beneath her feet and stormed off into the ocean. She was still
fully clothed as she felt the waves hit her knees. She didn’t stop walking
further out to sea. She waited until she was waist deep, and then dived into
the water. She felt every wave of emotion hit her like a tonne of bricks. Hate.
Fear. Regret… Love.

She
rose to the surface, taking a deep breath and letting the tears take control.

“Why!”
she screamed to the heavens. “Why! Why! Why!”

Why
couldn’t her life be normal and ordinary? She wouldn’t have even cared if it
was boring. Anything but what it was. Her life was broken, and each time she
thought that maybe, just maybe, things would get better, something always tore it
apart.

Maybe
I should just face it, life was just not worth it anymore
, she thought to herself.

She
watched as the next wave formed in front of her. Instead of taking a breath and
diving to avoid the wave, she stayed still. She was sick of fighting, fighting
it all. The lip of the wave curled over and she closed her eyes. She waited for
the impact, knowing what would happen, but not caring anymore. She was alone in
this world. Alone and broken.

Hayden
had known straight away what Ava had planned to do when she stilled herself and
let the wave crash into her without even flinching.

He
ran to her aide, pulling his shirt off in the process. He used all his strength
to pull himself through the water and found her with her lying still in the
water’s depths with her eyes closed. He pulled her to the surface and exhaled a
sigh of relief when she drew a breath of air. She hadn’t been stupid enough to
kill herself.

He
was furious with her, but he couldn’t think about it until he had her safely
out of the water. Ava didn’t resist him as he carried her through the water
until he could stand. He didn’t put her down though, instead, he carried her
out of the water and onto the sandy beach. He dropped himself to his knees.

“What
the hell were you thinking?” he asked, out of breath.

She
looked up at him. She shook her head side to side, as her eyes welled with
tears.

“Why
would you try and kill yourself? After everything that’s happened?”

Her
eyes cried with pain. She turned her head into his chest. “I wasn’t trying to
kill myself. I just wanted to feel… feel something.”

Hayden
held her close against his chest, feeling her body rise and fall with each
breath. She felt so helpless in his arm. Why she did what she did, he didn’t
know. He wanted to tell her off. How could she be so stupid?

He
regained his breath and stood, still holding her in his arms. “Come on. You
better change your clothes before you make yourself sick.”

“But
it’s not even cold.”

“Don’t
argue with me, Ava,” Hayden said bluntly, carrying her to the house.

She
didn’t argue back, instead, she actually listened to him. He left her in the
bedroom alone and went for a walk to cool off. He was angry, angry for so many
reasons. But one reason that had thrown him the most, was why he cared so much.
He didn’t get attached to anyone, ever. Yet Ava… Ava made him feel something in
that moment that made him uneasy. A feeling he wasn’t used to. A feeling that
made everything even more complicated than it already was.

13 BE STILL

Ava’s head shot up at the sound of Hayden walking into the house. He’d
been gone the whole day. He’d left her to get changed after the incident in the
water, and she hadn’t seen him since. It was now nightfall and she was
beginning to worry.

She
quickly jumped off the bed, walked out of the bedroom to see Hayden walking
across the lounge room, and was sweating like he’d been in a marathon.

“Where
have you been?” Ava asked.

Hayden
didn’t stop walking towards the bathroom.

“Hayden!”
Ava yelled, trying to get him to stop and answer her.

It
worked, for he stopped and turned to face her.

“Where
have you been?” she asked again.

“I
needed a breather.”

“All
day?”

“I
needed to think and I couldn’t do that here, so I went for a run.”

Ava
shook her head confused. “What? The island isn’t that big. You’ve been gone all
day.”

“I
just needed time to think. Jeez, Ava, give it a rest,” Hayden said frustrated.

“You’re
angry with me?”

“What
do you think?” Hayden snapped.

“I’m
sorry about before. I was just so caught up with everything; I lost myself for
a moment. I wasn’t trying to kill myself though. I know what you must have been
thinking. If I died, then Stevenson would have your head. I understand why
you’re angry.”

Hayden
laughed. Actually laughed out loud.

“Why
are you laughing?” Ava said crossly, not amused by Hayden.

“You
think that’s why I’m angry?” He laughed again. “Not only would Stevenson have
my head for letting anything happen to you, but did you think about Mason’s
life? The risk he is making to help you. Or what about your father?” Hayden
said seriously, as he walked towards Ava. “Let alone how Olivia would feel when
I promised her I’ protect you. But no, that’s not why I’m angry. I’m pissed off
because there are people that care about you, Ava. People that want to see you
live a full and happy life.”

“I
told you I wasn’t trying to-”

Hayden
cut her off. “When I saw you in the water, I thought for that moment you were
dead, Ava.” He took another step closer to her until they were almost touching.
Ava’s heart was pounding in her chest as she could see the droplets of sweat
fall from his brow. He was still shirtless, only wearing his long cream pants
and shoes. “I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you. Are you
listening to me? Don’t you ever do anything like that again. I can’t…  I
won’t…”

He
reached his hand out and pushed the loose strand of Ava’s hair behind her ear,
making Ava’s heart race.

“Okay,”
she said quietly.

She
watched him close his eyes and breathe her in, and then he dropped his hand and
walked away. She stood there breathless as he walked into the bathroom and
closed the door.

“What
the hell just happened?”

***

Hayden
heard Ava open and close the front door. He’d slept on the couch again last
night, and decided to clean his handgun when he woke this morning. He’d left
the house quietly in attempts not to wake her. Focusing on tasks seemed to help
clear his head. He’d thought after his work-out yesterday that when he saw Ava
again, he wouldn’t feel so confused, but as soon as he saw her, his emotions
got the better of him. He should have ignored her questions and went straight
to the bathroom. Instead, he stopped and looked at her, and that was all it
took for him to lose himself to her.

Why
he let himself touch her like that, he didn’t know. It may have seemed like an
innocent gesture at the time, but he knew what it meant. He knew the way he
looked at her meant more than what he wanted to admit.

Ava
didn’t say anything as she sat next to Hayden on the long timber log near the
fire. Only a small flame was still burning from the night before.

“Have you been up long?” Ava asked.

“Half an hour or so.”

Ava nodded her head. 

“I thought I would let you know too, that Mason is
going to come to the safe house  here on the island in a couple of days.”

“How come?”

“For protection. He can help protect you and will
have some ideas on what we might be able to do to get you back to Australia.”

“Okay,” Ava replied.

They then continued to sit there in silence as Hayden
finished cleaning his gun. Hayden was tempted to say something, anything to
Ava, but every time he went to, everything he thought of sounded stupid. He
knew there was an awkwardness between them now; he wouldn’t even be surprised
if Ava hated him for the way he reacted. After all, he was part of the reason
why she was in this mess in the first place. He had a hand in kidnapping her,
kept her locked in a dark room with only the clothes she had on her back and a
small sheet to live with. That kind of treatment isn’t just forgotten. Now he
had some sort of feelings towards her that he couldn’t explain, and had
expressed part of those feelings last night. Now they were just somehow meant
to act like nothing had happened.

“Have you ever killed anyone? I mean… apart from
that man at the hotel.” Ava asked curiously.

Hayden stopped abruptly at her question. He wasn’t
going to lie to her, but he also didn’t expect that she’d like the truth.
“Yes,” he replied, “and more than you want to know.”

“Do you regret it?”

“No,” Hayden answered honestly. “The people I
killed were criminals, and not just any type of criminals. Cold, hard people,
who were responsible for the killing of hundreds of lives. Mostly it was in
self-defence, some I was ordered to kill.”

“I’ve never even fired a gun before,” Ava said.

“Never?”

Ava shook her head. “No, never. I know if I had
to, I guess I could.”

Hayden clicked his gun back into place and stood,
holding his free hand out to Ava. “There’s a lot more to shooting a gun than
pulling the trigger. Come, I’ll show you.”

Ava stood. “What, now?”

“Why, is there somewhere you need to be?” Hayden
mocked.

Ava rolled her eyes and smiled. “No, I just didn’t
expect you would want me to shoot a gun at this very moment.”

“You’ll be fine,” Hayden said reassuringly. “It’s
better that you learn now anyway, in case you have to use it.”

“Okay,” Ava replied.

Hayden could tell she was nervous, as she clutched
her hands together in front of her.

Hayden walked along the beach until he found an
old tree stump about hip height.

“Okay, stand here,” Hayden instructed Ava.

Ava listened and stood still as Hayden handed her
the gun carefully.

“When you’re not firing a gun, always have it
pointed to the ground for safety reasons,” he instructed as he handed it to
her. “Keep your fingers off the trigger at all times.”

Hayden moved so he was directly behind her. He
then wrapped his hands around her hands on the gun. He straightened the gun
slightly, aiming it for the tree stump.

“Place your hands like this,” he said, moving her
hands into the correct position. “Keep your thumb tucked in and hold it
tightly. When the gun fires, you need to make sure it’s held firmly at all
times to avoid accident or injury.”

“Okay,” Ava replied.

“Now depending on what kind of handgun it is, will
depend on how to load it. This one is a semi-automatic. I’ve already loaded the
chamber, but to get it ready to fire, you will need to pull back the slide and
release it.” He held his hand over hers, guided her buy helping pull the slide
back, and then released it.

“Does this all make sense?”

“Yes,” Ava replied quietly.

He could feel her deep breathing against his
chest. The proximity between them was making it hard for him to concentrate.
Fortunately, Hayden had fired his gun many times, so it all came natural for
him and he didn’t have to think too hard about what he had to tell Ava. He knew
if she asked him anything else at this point though, he wouldn’t be able to
answer straight. His heart was pounding against his chest. He could feel every
inch of her body against him and the heat radiating off her body.

“Now take a deep breath and focus,” Hayden said
softly in her ear. Then he pulled his hands away and took a step back from her.
“Hold it steady and tight. Shoot when you’re ready.”

He watched her breathe in and out, and then pull
the trigger. She held her balance as the gun fired, the bullet going straight
into the tree stump.

“I’m impressed,” Hayden said smiling. “Most people
wouldn’t hit a target first go.”

Ava held the gun to the ground and smiled. “I’m
not most people.”

“I know,” Hayden replied seriously, as he went to
grab the gun from her hands. Her smile disappeared as she looked at him
seriously. The mood had once again changed.

They looked into each other’s eyes. He couldn’t
read her expression, and he badly wanted to know what she was thinking. His
hands stayed on hers as he let his eyes travel from her eyes to her lips.
Thoughts of what her lips would taste like entered his mind like a tornado. He
wanted to stop looking, wanted not to feel what he was feeling, but it was like
a magnet was drawing him in and he couldn’t resist.

There was no hiding the fact he was staring at her
lips and when she bit down on her lip nervously, it nearly sent him over the
edge. He pulled his eyes away and grabbed the gun from her quickly, breaking
the moment. He had to remain in control. He couldn’t lose himself with her.

“Did you want to do it again?” he asked,
pretending to check the gun and handing it back to her.

“Definitely,” she replied softly, taking the gun
from Hayden’s hands.

This time Hayden stepped away and let her position
herself to take the shot.

He watched in amazement as she fired the shot
straight into the stump again. Just when he thought there wasn’t a way she
could impress him anymore, he discovers she is a natural at shooting. 

He knew he would have to stay focused. Forget
about what she was making him feel. They were on an island in Thailand trying
to stay safe. Both lives were in danger and everything could fall apart in an
instant. Although she was once his captive, she was now his innocent to
protect. His focus needed to stay on track; he couldn’t risk emotions becoming
involved. Every time they did, it never ended well.

***

Ava stood in the kitchen with the large cutting
knife and pineapple. Fortunately, Hayden had brought a nice supply of fruit for
them both to the island, and with nothing else to do apart from swim and read,
she liked to eat.

From the kitchen window, she could see the water
through a gap in the trees. It was another beautiful day in paradise and after
the shooting practice this morning; she spent the remainder of the morning
reading by the water. Hayden had left her again, quite abruptly after her shooting
practice, and had gone for another “walk.”

He was probably the most confusing man Ava had
ever met. His moods were all over the place. He was fine this morning, and then
suddenly took off, telling her he was going for a walk. Ava didn’t worry this time
though. Apparently, these “walks” were Hayden’s own way with dealing with
things. He’d been gone for hours yet again.

She’d only just begun chopping the pineapple when
she spotted Hayden on the beach. She watched him curiously, as he walked near
the water’s edge. He placed his arms on his hips and it looked as though he was
breathing deeply in and out, as he looked out to the horizon.

Ava continued to chop the pineapple slowly,
looking up at Hayden in between cuts. She watched as he lifted his hands off
his hips and pulled his shirt over his head. He then continued to undress
himself as he took his pants off, leaving only his briefs on.

Good, God
, Ava thought to herself as she
stared at his body.

His muscles flexed with each movement. She knew he
was well built. He took pride in his body, and his job entailed him to be
physically fit and strong. He was...
wow
. 

She had an idea of what he must of looked like by
the tight fitting shirts he wore, but she never let her mind think about it for
too long, after all, the circumstances she was in before were a lot different.
Now she couldn’t look away, how could anyone look away from
that
?

Hayden stepped closer to the water, not waiting to
see how it felt as he dived in with a splash. She waited and watched as he
emerged from the water, his back dripping wet. She could still see the back of
him, but that’s all she needed to see to know how well-defined his muscle tone
was.

Ava must have been so captivated by Hayden’s
actions that she’d forgotten she was still cutting up the pineapple, until she
hit the corner of her pointer finger with the knife.

“Shit!” she yelled, dropping the knife and
grabbing the nearby tea towel. Her finger had already begun shooting out a
stream of blood before she’d gotten the towel around it. Her finger stung as
she let out a string of curse words.

“Serves yourself right, Ava, for not
concentrating,” Ava told herself in frustration.

What were you thinking anyway? 
Ava
asked herself, knowing she knew exactly what she was thinking about, and it
wasn’t good.