One Funeral (No Weddings Book 2) (18 page)

I smirked.

His gaze held mine, eyes smoldering. “What are some of your fantasies of us?”

“How do you know I have any?”

He arched a brow.

A hot flush crept up my neck, heating my face. “Okay.” I took a deep breath. “Maybe I imagine us being in the shower, you holding me up, pressing into me as my back slides on the tiles.”

I felt a twitch beneath my ass. He was hard under me. His eyes were dark, and he sucked in a breath. On a hard swallow, he shifted his hold and scanned the room. “We need to get out of here before our first time ends up being in a boathouse.”

I leaned my head in, resting it on his shoulder. “That wouldn’t be so bad. I like this boathouse.”

His finger hooked under my chin, lifting my face. “Then we’ll come back here, my little criminal. We’ll trespass, break in, and have wild sex all over this boathouse.”

I bit my lip, hiding my smile, and with a shaking hand, I traced a fingertip along his stubbled jawline. “Deal.”

On that word, he leaned to the side, swinging me around and sitting me on the bench. He crossed the room and pulled two thick blankets from a pile I hadn’t noticed in the corner. Over his jacket, he wrapped them around me, covering me from my shoulders to my ankles.

I looked down, sighing. “I’m a human burrito.”

“A very cute human burrito. Don’t worry, no one will see you.”

“Says you. I can barely walk in this thing.”

“Who says you’re walking?” With his hands on my shoulders, he spun me around and swooped me up into his arms.

“Ummm, what about my clothes?”

He glanced over his shoulder to the wet pile on the floor. “We’ll come back for them. I’m already struggling under your massive weight. Pray a pine needle doesn’t drop into your lap.”

Gaping, I wriggled an arm free and smacked his chest as it rumbled with laughter.

We emerged back into daylight, Cade making an enormous production of taking sneaking steps, and me alternating between rolling my eyes and peering over his shoulder at the portion of the party we could see on the far lawn. Not one person looked in our direction.

Grateful that our antics remained under the radar, I relaxed in his hold as we made our way to a side entrance of the house. He put me down, and I leaned against a wall while he retrieved both of our keys and phones from a back bedroom.

By the time we made it back to my place and he carried me up my front steps, I’d grown sleepy, my eyelids falling half shut. I yawned as he propped me in my entryway, unlocking the door.

“You look like you need a nap.”

I nodded.

Without further hesitation, he picked me back up and whisked me into my bedroom, then gently laid my burritoed body onto the coverlet. Big blue eyes stared down at me until he lowered down, giving me a tender kiss.

“Sleep well, Hannah.”

Unable to do anything other than close my eyes, I sank into a deep sleep.

I
woke to a pitch-black room. Pushing aside the blankets that had loosened around me, I stretched my arms above my head and toes toward the opposite wall, making a creaking sound with my throat. Closing my eyes, I listened for sounds in the house but only heard the rustling of tree limbs outside my window and the low whir of the heat blowing from the register.

Curious where Cade had run off to, I scooted off the bed, keeping the blankets draped around my shoulders. I searched the entire house, but he’d left. One of his sisters had probably picked him up.

Arms and legs aching, I decided to take a hot bath. I flipped the water on in my clawfoot tub and dropped the blankets, turning toward the mirror. I gasped at the horrific sight reflecting back. My hair was a tangled mess, and the skin on my face was a pallid gray. But it was the bluish bruise spreading under two pink Hello Kitty Band-Aid strips that caught my attention.

When I touched the lower Band-Aid, I winced as pain sparked out. I had to have been out cold for Cade to put those on without my knowledge.

I grabbed a carton of Epsom salts, then poured two cups’ worth into the hot water, wondering if Cade had left a note somewhere. I must have missed it. I put the salts back under the cabinet and went searching.

On the bedside table, I found a folded piece of paper over my phone, which had been turned off. I switched it back on, waiting for it to cycle through booting up, and read the note.

Beautiful Hannah,

Sleep well. I have to go, but know I’m thinking about you, my sexy human burrito.

Love,

Cade

P.S. Nice Hello Kitty Band-Aids

I smiled, folding the note back over and replacing it on the table. I grabbed my phone, brought it with me back to the tub, and laid it on the small table beside the toilet.

My expression fell as I peeled off stiff underwear, thinking about the Band-Aids. What drawers and cabinets had he gone through before he found them? There were tampons in there. And two vibrators. I snorted, imagining the expression on his face, assuming he’d come across them.

I stepped into the hot water, bracing my hands on the edges, and lowered myself in. Hissing out a breath, I lifted bent arms up to check the undersides of my forearms—they stung in the salt of the water. Scrapes and bruises were on each arm, a shiny salve spread over each. Cade must’ve found the Neosporin too.

Gritting my teeth, I submerged my arms again, trying to relax. By my third exhalation, I felt the heat from the water seep down deep into my muscles and groaned.

After about five minutes, I’d calmed enough for my thoughts to drift toward Cade again. I reached behind me, pinched my phone between my fingers, and pulled it into my grasp.

When I hit the control button, the screen showed twenty-four text alerts. All from Cade. Grinning, I scrolled to the text box. Small blue bubbles appeared in a long column.

Sleeping?

Yep.

Now?

Still burritoed?

Miss me?

No?

No.

How bout now?

*sighs*

I miss you.

Wish I’d stayed.

Miss me now?

Are you sleeping?

Yep.

I’m gonna let you sleep.

I’m showering. In case you were wondering.

Oh, and btw . . .

Nice vibes.

;)

I grinned like the happiest idiot on Earth. The last text had been left over an hour ago. Was he wondering why I still hadn’t replied? I decided not to wait and find out.

Thanks . . .

;)

What are you doing right now?

I waited. Seconds later, a blue bubble popped, indicating he was typing.

Thinking about you.

Tossed my phone onto the desk. Had to stop texting you. Began to feel stalkerish.

I smiled.

You seem like a very safe stalker.

A pause as he typed.

I’m more dangerous than you think.

I smiled but saw the blue bubble appear again as he still typed.

What are you wearing?

I bit my lip, typing.

Nothing.

There was a long pause, then his typing.

What are you doing?

Sliding my finger down the edge of my phone in thought, I began my reply.

Are you thinking about my vibes again?

His typing box appeared immediately, but I sent one more text before he could reply.

. . .

Those three dots had turned naughty when we’d exchanged suggestive texts for the first time in my shop. Now I loved to tease him with them.

His reply came through.

Yes.

I grinned.

I’m in the bathtub.

He typed again.

Naked?

I snorted, then laughed, shoulders shaking.

That’s usually how it’s done.

A pause. Then typing.

Shit.

A long pause followed. I had no idea if he was still with me, or if he’d had to jump back into the shower again. Then a text popped up.

It was really nice seeing you almost naked today. :) Sorry about the circumstances, especially that you got hurt. You okay?

My heart warmed at his concern.

Yeah, I’m okay. Thanks for the bandaging, and the tuck-in.

He typed.

Good.

I’ve gotta get some sleep. Studying for last exam, work, then Kristen’s tomorrow night. You still coming?

I was about to reply when he started typing again.

Are you coming . . .

I shook my head.

Animal.

He typed.

Guilty. :)

I smiled.

Yes. I’ll be there.

He typed.

Good.

Kristen sent me another email. We’re planning a funeral.

C
ade arched his brows. “Really? People celebrate this?”

Kendall laughed, handing him a beer. “Apparently it’s all the rage: host your own faux funeral.”

Cade narrowed his eyes. “Does the ‘deceased’ get to give a retort after the eulogy?”

I laughed. “Smack talk from the dead.”

Kiki came into the room from the kitchen, then sat down next to me on the couch with her steaming mug of green tea. “
She
gets to retort. And with Candace Somerton, she just might.”

Cade became animated, sitting more upright, causing me to fall against him. “No. We all agreed, no working for women I’ve been with.”

“Women you’ve
banged
. Those were the terms.” Kristen stared at Cade from her corner of the couch.

Shocked, I too stared at Cade. “That was one of your rules?”

Cade scrubbed a hand over his face, then looked at me. “That was one of
their
rules.” He directed a glare at Kristen. “And I agreed.”

Kristen arched a brow, looking smug. “According to Candie, and I quote: ‘I sucked that sexy motherfucker off ’til he screamed, but we never had sex.’”

Cade fumed. He sat beside me on the couch, taking in measured breaths, his anger blasting into the room. He forced a sardonic smile. “Nice she was proud enough of her blow job to share.”

The corners of Kristen’s lips twitched as she fought a smile. “Since you never technically ‘banged’ her, she’s fair game. And I want to throw this party. The publicity will be awesome.”

“Great.” Cade sank back into the corner of the couch, working his body behind mine and Kiki’s, forcing us to scoot forward a few inches as he stretched out.

I glanced back at him. “So no clients you’ve banged, huh? How come this is the first I’ve heard of this rule?”

Kiki answered while Cade grabbed a blue throw pillow and stuffed it over his face. She gave me a pointed look before softening her expression. “Because the list is extensive. He probably didn’t want to broadcast the details.”

Kiki and I exchanged a look, and I gave her an imperceptible nod to let her know I was okay with the discussion.

The pillow talked, Cade’s voice muffled. “Like who gave me blow jobs, for example.”

I laughed, pushing the pillow down. “So let me get this straight: no clients you’ve ‘banged’ and no weddings.”

He removed the pillow, lifting his brows. “I should’ve added no funerals.”

“Don’t forget no children’s parties.” Kiki put her feet up on the coffee table.

“Or balloon animals,” Kendall added.

“Or clowns. That one’s mine.” Kristen leaned over, dipped her tortilla chip into the salsa, then popped it into her mouth.

Cade rubbed his hand up my back. I glanced back at him to find his eyes shut while he exhaled deeply. A content look came over his face.